黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E05

Part 2 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:10 p.m.

Then you put your hand on someone's thigh,
然后把手搭到大腿上
and say, "Nervous?" And they say, "No."
问"你紧张吗" 他们回答"不紧张"
So you keep going further up their thigh, like, "Nervous?"
然后就顺着大腿往上摸问"你紧张吗"
And by now they're going, "Oh, my God..."
直到他们喊道"天呐"
It didn't work at first,
刚开始不怎么凑效
cos these boys aren't nervous of anything.
因为那群小屁孩对啥都不紧张
Nervous?
你紧张吗
No.
不紧张
I don't get it. What's the point?
我没懂这游戏有什么意思
Why would I be nervous?
为什么我要紧张
But then, they got in THIS lad...
之后他们对这家伙进行测试
Beanie.
比尼
Nervous?
你紧张吗
No. No, go on!
不紧张你继续
Nervous? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, oh, my God.
你紧张吗天呐天呐天呐
Nervous?
你紧张吗
Yes or no? No!
快回答我不紧张
Oh, my God.
天呐
Nervous?
你紧张吗
Now, everyone loves Beanie.
现在大家都爱比尼
They're lining up to have a go.
他们都迫切想要测试一下
Nervous? Oh, sacre bleu!
你紧张吗我滴苍天呐
Nervous? Whoa, whoa, not my bum!
你紧张吗不行不准摸屁♥股♥
No-one said my bum.
没人说过可以摸屁♥股♥
Is that allowed? No way!
可以摸吗不可能吧
Next thing you know, it goes viral.
没想到这游戏一下子就火了
Everyone's doing it,
大家都在玩这游戏
I'm a trendsetter, Cliff, by accident.
我就不小心成了带头人克利夫
What sort of figures?
播放量多少
The Nervous videos get about 90,000 views each.
"你紧张吗"每个视频播放量九万次
It's not that big, but it's 90,000 people. Watching.
虽然不多但好歹也有九万人看过
Am I breaking the law? Is it legal?
我犯法了吗这合法吗
Oh, my God, Cliff, tell me it's OK.
天呐克利夫告诉我这么做没事
Is it?
没事吧
Technically, they're employing YOU.
说实话其实是他们雇佣了你
So you're not a porn baron, you're just a minion.
所以你不是男老鸨你只是仆从
You're the...patsy, they're making you their dupe.
你就是软弱者他们在戏弄你
Well, that's good news.
那可是好消息
As long as there's no hard-ons.
只要他们没有勃起
You're certain that noone's erect? Definitely not.
你确定他们都没硬吗绝对没有
And all of a sudden, that's a good thing. The world is mad.
那一下子这就成了好事疯狂世界啊
Hey, there.
你们好呀
Hello, Uncle Cliff.
克利夫叔叔你好
Hi, Adam. The main man.
亚当你好老大呀
I've just been admiring your handiwork.
我刚还在夸赞你这制♥作♥得不错呢
Oh, it's a laugh, isn't it? We're getting six of us in tonight.
让你见笑了今晚找了六个人拍
There you go. Thank you!
给你的谢谢
We're gonna do that Raining Men song, with wellies and things.
今晚唱《雨男》穿着雨靴之类的
And Beanie gets all wet, it's brilliant.
比尼会完全湿身简直赞
I'll see you in a bit.
晚些再见
That's...our song.
这是我们的歌♥
I think I preferred it when they were beating us up.
我觉得我更喜欢他们打败我们
How much? 200 quid.
多少钱两百块
All of this for 200 quid.
干了这么多才给200块
I've got to pay 50 to Scotty
还得付50给斯科蒂
and 60 for materials, I'm making 90 quid a week.
60块钱材料费我一周只赚90
You prove my theory.
你证明了我的理论
We chain ourselves down with homes and jobs and money,
我们用家庭工作和金钱锁住自己
but take those chains away and we're dogs.
一旦松绑我们就成了狗
We're nothing but dogs, running across the wilderness,
我们就只是狗在荒野中奔跑
howling at the sky. Cocks out. Fucking the wind.
朝天嚎叫使劲地嚎逆着风向
You've lost your chains, Henry.
你已经松绑了亨利
I think you're brilliant.
我觉得你很棒
Bollocks. What is it?
胡扯怎么了
My boyfriend.
我男朋友
What, Lance?
谁兰斯吗
No. I knew there was something else.
不我就知道会出乱子
I got a boyfriend.
我找了个男朋友
By mistake.
误打误撞的
Shit.
靠
Well, it's nice to meet you at last,
很高兴终于见到你
he's been keeping you secret.
他一直不肯说你真面目
You don't mind if we eat now, do you? The kids are starving.
不介意现在就开饭吧孩子们都饿了
Molly made the salad, didn't you?
莫莉做了色拉是吧
There's one with goat's cheese, one without.
一盘加山羊奶酪一盘没加
Adam was supposed to do it,
本来应该亚当来做
but he disappeared, as usual.
但他和往常一样不见了
Sorry! I was playing footie.
对不起啦我去踢球了
Sit down anywhere, go on.
随便坐
Oh, and look-- that's Baby Lou, upstairs. She says hello.
这是卢宝贝她在楼上打招呼呢
Hello, Baby Lou!
你好呀卢宝贝
So. Dig in.
都坐好了
And remember, Uncle Henry's got a brand-new boyfriend
记住亨利舅舅肛♥交♥了个新男友
so don't frighten him away.
千万别把他吓跑了
Oh, for Christ's sake, you are ridiculous!
天呐你真是太荒谬了
You fight for the rights of the Romanians and the Poles
你为罗马尼亚人波兰人和尼日利亚人
and the Nigerians, but only because you need 'em
争取权益其实只是因为你需要他们
to scrub your toilets!
帮你洗厕所
The left wing loves an underclass.
左翼就爱下等人
Don't you dare presume to know me!
别说得你很了解我一样
Where d'you think your salad comes from?
你觉得这色拉是从哪来的
They've got minibuses driving round at 5:00 A.M.,
他们早晨五点左右就开着面包车
they pick up all the immigrants
拉上所有食材
and the junkies and the mentally ill,
和吸毒者还有精神病人
and they drive 'em out into the countryside to pick your lettuce.
把他们带到了农村去采摘你要的生菜
Those are the hands on your salad. Heroin addicts!
色拉的材料全都由海♥洛♥因♥瘾君子经手
You've got slaves working for you out in the field--
你派你的奴隶为你在郊外干活
don't pretend otherwise, you love it!
少装了你可喜欢这样了
You're going out with Theresa May!
你这是和特丽莎·梅[保守党]约会呢
No... No, not yet. Oh, come on!
还...还不行全部射给我
We should have a good old fuck one of these days. Yeah?
我们这几天应该要好好操一发
I don't even know what you like. Are you Ross or Rachel?
但我不知道你喜欢怎么样你是攻还是受
I kind of like to wait, y'know, till it's a proper relationship.
我比较喜欢等到我们关系发展到一定地步再做
Well, let's make it a proper relationship,
那我们就好好发展
would that be good? Yeah.
可以吗行
Your sister won't be happy.
你姐姐不会高兴的
She'll be all right.
她会没事的
So... Friday. Come round mine.
那周五吧来我家
I tell you what, let's not drink,
我们不喝酒
let's have sober sex, I love that.
直接滚床单我喜欢那样
Yeah. And you can fuck me, you can go the full Bravo Delta,
好啊你可以上我用三角插入式
is that OK?
怎么样
Yeah. OK. Friday night. Excellent.
好啊好嘞周五晚上太棒
Night.
晚安
That is not remotely sexy. Nice bum, though.
这一点都不性感但是屁屁不错啊
Why do men do that, what do they get out of it?
男人为什么那么做有什么好处
I'll tell you one thing, Ronnie - gay men do not moon.
罗妮我告诉你基佬从不晒光屁♥股♥照
I reckon you're in with a chance.
我觉得你有机会
Don't say that.
少来了
There's something odd about him, though. I mean, seriously.
但这人有点奇怪我说真的
I mean, you get signals off a man.
这男的好像对人没兴趣
Oh, right, he doesn't fancy you, so he's gay.
他不喜欢你所以他就是基佬了
No. Although, that's also a fact.
不虽然那也是事实
He just doesn't kind of...
他就是看起来...
look.
不对
When you're with him there's something kind of...off.
和他在一起就...有点不对劲
I don't... I don't know.
好吧我不知道
Do you really think he might be?
你真觉得他有可能是基佬吗
I think he might not know.
可能是他自己不知道而已
And I think you deserve a bit of fun.
我觉得你该找点乐子