黄瓜（2015）

Cleo 如果有什么我应该知道的 一定要告诉我
Now, tell your Uncle Henry that tone doesn't work with me, does it?
跟你Henry叔叔说我不吃那一套 对吧
'No, it doesn't. Lance is being nice, OK? So don't try to get clever.'
对的 Lance很好 不要再试图耍小聪明了
You're a very lucky man and I didn't say a word. I'm going. Have fun. Adam!
你很幸运 我什么都没说 我要走了 玩的开心 Adam
Got it. Thank you.
收到了 谢谢
You know that Sunil Merchandani?
你认识那个Sunil Merchandani么
He just stole from me.
他刚剽窃了我
Took me a month to write that essay.
我花了整整一个月去写那篇论文
Vocational packages. That subject is enormous.
专业 那个课题不要太庞大
Now he's gone and taken it.
他现在就这么拿走了
What's to stop him handing my essay in as his own?
有什么办法制止他用他的名义提交我的论文
I spent two years studying for an MA, now he can just copy me.
我花了两年去读文学硕士 他现在就这么抄袭了
You should ask for it back.
你应该去要回来
No, he's got it now, that's the point. He can't... un-have it any more.
他现在已经拿到手了 这是重点 他不可能再没拿到
Then tell him. It's theft.
那就告诉他 那是剽窃
I know. He might as well break into my house. And you know why?
我知道 他可能还闯进过我的房♥子 你知道为什么么
He's a Band 5. He needs his MA to qualify for Band 6.
他现在级别是5 有了那篇论文他就可以升到6了
He's going to get promoted using my essay!
他将用着我的论文晋升
How are you going to prove it?
你怎么证明呢
Well, I can't, can I? What would I do?
我无法证明 我该怎么做
Is it actually a crime, plagiarism? Is it illegal?
这是一场犯罪 是剽窃 是不是违法的来着
We could find out.
我们会查出来的
Could ask my neighbour. She works at Salford University.
可以问问我的邻居 她在索尔福德大学工作
Do you want me to?
要我去问么
Um... I don't know. I suppose.
我也不知道 要吧
He stole from you, Henry. He's in possession of your property.
他剽窃了你 Henry 他侵犯了你的财产权
Do you want me to ask her? Shall I?
你要我去问她么 我要去么
OK, yeah, ask her. Let's get the facts. All right, do it.
好 那就去问她 我们查出真♥相♥ 去 去问她
- I'll ask her tonight. - Good. I'd love to find out. Cos he stole from me!
- 我今晚就去问她 - 太棒了 都怪他剽窃了我
So... why did you give him the essay in the first place?
那... 你一开始干嘛给他那篇论文
Because I'm nice.
因为我人很好啊
_
Little bastard.
小混♥蛋♥
_
Hello, stranger.
陌生人 你好
Dean. Hello! That's funny.
Dean 嗨 真是巧啊
What you doin' here?
你在这做什么
Just a... bit of business. What about you?
就 有些公事 你呢
I live over there. Calico Warehouse.
我就住在那边
- Right, course, yeah. - With Freddie.
- 啊 当然 - 和Freddie一起
Fantastic.
太棒了
So...
所以...
Didn't you say you had a... a problem with insurance?
你是不是说你在保险上有点问题
I mean, we're not squatting, we pay rent. It's like 400 a month.
我们不是白占的 我们付租金 大约400一个月
But we never got it down on paper, not really.
但我们并没有纸质文件 真的
There's no contract. Do you think we need one?
没有合同 你觉得我们需要么
There's a man called Roderick. He's not the actual landlord,
有个叫Roderick的人 他不是真正的房♥东
I think he rents it, and then we pay his rent, if you see what I mean.
我觉得他也是租的 然后我们付他租金 如果你懂我在说什么
Nice, isn't it?
很棒 不是吗
- It's massive! - Cold, though.
- 很大 - 但是很冷
But is it... I mean, is it... habitable, technically?
但是它 我觉得 还可以居住 严格上来说
Is it an... an actual residence?
它其实是真的住♥宅♥
- Cos 400 quid a month is nothing. - It's not if you haven't got it.
- 因为400一个月跟白送似的 - 如果我们没有租下的话就不是
Roderick said they were converting this place into flats,
Roderick本来打算改成公♥寓♥
then everything crashed in 2008, so it got abandoned.
但是2008后什么都改变了 然后这里被遗弃了
That's why I wanted to ask you.
这就是为什么我想咨♥询♥你
Roderick says we've only got electricity and water
Roderick 说我们只有水和电
cos they can't insure it without it.
因为没有这些他们不能投保
Is that true, is that bollocks? I dunno.
这是真的还是胡扯 我也不知道
Look, my room's over there, and over here, we have...
我的房♥间在那 这边是...
the pit.
温床
Freddie's bed. The Fred Bed.
Freddie的床 弗雷德之床
That's where it all happens, all those lucky boys and girls.
所有事情发生的地方 幸运的男男女♥女♥
What, does he do both?
什么 他都能接受
Well, I think so. He's kind of anything. Here's the kitchen.
我觉得是 来者不拒 这边是厨房♥
I've got to be honest,
诚实的说
I think insurance is the least of your problems.
保险是你最小的问题
This place is contravening health and safety
这个地方既不健康也不安全
on... just about every single level.
都处在一个很低的水平
Shit. I thought health and safety was just at work.
我以为健康和安全只有在工作时才有的
No, no, you'd be surprised.
不不不 你会很惊讶的发现
The whole thing depends on this... Roderick.
这些关键都在Roderick这人身上
I mean, is he a landlord or is he just... the man who takes your money?
他究竟是房♥东还是 只管收你们的钱而已
Could we get in trouble with the law?
我们会有麻烦么 法律上
There's one little clause that acts in your favour
有一条对你有利的款项
cos if you are squatting, that is illegal,
如果是你们擅自占用 那是违法的
but it doesn't apply to commercial properties,
但不适用于商业房♥地♥产♥
so your existence here could depend on the definition of this building.
所以这一切取决于这栋房♥子是怎么被定义的
Hey. This is Henry from work.
这是我们同单位的Henry
The biggest problem is I can't use iTunes without a billing address,
最大的问题是我没有账单地址我就用不了iTunes
but they won't even recognise this place. Can I get it registered?
但他们甚至都不认识这个地方 我需要去注册下么
- I don't know. - Could I talk to the council?
- 我不知道 - 我可以跟委员会说么
Dunno.
不知道
- Dunno. - My friend Leesha works at the town hall.
- 我不知道 - 我朋友Leesha在市政厅工作
She says we could get a housing grant if we converted the other room.
她说我们可以得到房♥产的补助金 如果我们换个地方
Come and have a look.
过来看看
I mean, you couldn't live in here, but Leesha says it counts
你不能住在这 但是Leesha说这算第三个房♥间
as a third bedroom, which means you can get money to fix it, officially.
你可以自己装♥修♥一番 官方的说
- Oh, Jesus Christ, it's freezing. - I know. Freeze your balls off.
- 我的天 太冷了吧 - 我知道 蛋都能够冻掉
We had crazy dog-sex in here just to see if it could be done.
我们在这里疯狂 就为了看看是否真能如此
Right.
好吧
Who did?
谁啊
Me and Freddie.
我和Freddie
Oh, right.
这样啊
I thought you said he was out of your league.
我以为他已经不在你的后宫团了
He is. It was only quick.
对啊 只是那一次
So... what do you think?
所以...你觉得呢
I think...
我觉得...
Dean, I don't know what to think.
Dean 我也不知道
Ohh, fuck.
靠
I think... I'm going home.
我觉得我应该回家了
I'm going on a date.
我要去约会了
Henry, are you there?
Henry 你在么
It's Katrina.
我是Katrina
Listen, I talked to my neighbour
听着 我和她我的邻居谈过了
about that plagiarism thing, you know, with Sunil?
关于Sunil剽窃那件事
Turns out it might be a bit complicated. Could you call me back?
原来这还有点小复杂 你能给我回个电♥话♥吗
Soon as you can.
尽快
about that plagiarism thing, you know, with Sunil?
关于剽窃 就是Sunil那一起
Turns out it might be a bit complicated. Could you call me back?
事情变得有点复杂了 你听到留言给我电♥话♥
Soon as you can.
尽快
I'm sorry to disturb you, Henry, but I wondered if I could have a word.
很抱歉打扰你 Henry 但我真的想跟你聊聊
Er, it's rather urgent.
情况紧急
This is Sunil here, Sunil Merchandani.
我是Sunil Sunil Merchandani
Hello, Mr Best, my name's Yan Peng,
你好 Best先生 我是Yan Peng
I'm calling from the Student Life Team at Salford University.
这里是索尔福德大学学生生活中心
I wonder if you could call me back.
麻烦您稍后打给我好吗
It's concerning Sunil Merchandani.
是关于Sunil Merchandani的事情
Oh, Henry, where are ya?!
Henry 你到底在哪
Turns out, my neighbour, she doesn't just work at Salford,
原来我邻居她不仅仅是在索福特工作
she's on this thing called the Plagiarism Committee.
她还在剽窃委员会工作
They actually have a committee!
他们居然还成立了一个委员会
Your colleague gave us Merchandani's name,
你同事提到了Merchandani的名字
so I've examined all his previous essays.
所以我查看了他以前所有的论文
We've got dedicated software which can run comparisons with relevant texts
我们有专门用于文案比对的软件
and student essays submitted post-2008,
同时可以比对自2008年以来上传的论文
and, I have to say, Merchandani lit the place up like a Christmas tree.
我不得不说 Merchandani这名字多得跟圣诞树上的装饰灯一样了
I don't think he's written an original word in his life.
我不认为他的文章都是原创的
I wasn't going to steal it! I just...
我不是想要剽窃的 我只是
... got... got behind with the work, and... and the family,
还有个家等着我养
and... and then I had that bad time,
每天下班回家
with all that time off work, and I just... I just couldn't cope...