黄瓜（2015）

Cucumber S01E07

Part 4 Sept. 28, 2020, 3:10 p.m.

真♥他♥妈♥高冷
You've got a pet albino.
你已经有白化宠物了
Oh, my God, you can stay!
天欢迎你
Anyway, we're still unpacking, better get back.
就这样我们还没拆包得回去了
It's nice to meet you and sorry for your loss, Henry.
认识你们很高兴请节哀亨利
Thank you. Come on over once we're settled.
谢谢我们安顿好了欢迎过来
Freddie...
弗雷迪
Monsieur.
先森
Bye, guys.
再见
They were nice.
他们人不错
Yeah, look, favour, OK? I need ten quid.
没错帮个我忙行吗借我十块
I know, and I will. But, listen, Aiden's out tonight.
我会还的今晚艾登会出来
All I need is ten quid, I could buy him a drink, and then. Bap!
我只要十块钱就能请他喝一杯然后啪啪啪
Hold on, I've got an Aiden on my favourites. Is it the same one?
等等我也收藏了个艾登不会是同一个吧
Aiden with an E? Welsh? Aged 24?
艾登登山的登威尔士人 24岁吗
Shit, it's the same man.
靠真是一个人
Please, don't wank over him, Mr B.
请别对着他打飞机贝先生
Have you messaged him?
你给他发过消息吗
I can't, in case he blocks me.
不行万一把我屏蔽了
You're the only one who can shag his favourites.
只有你有幸能被他收藏
The rest of us have to stare.
我们只能看着
There he is. Had him?
这就是他约过吗
Nope. Nice, he's new.
没不错没见过他
So, why don't you go find him?
那你为什么不去找他
What for?!
约个毛
A man like that is never going to shag a man like me.
这种绝色不可能约我这种屌♥丝
I could have him. Well, yeah.
我可以约他行啊
Fat lot of good that does me.
肥胖让我"收获"了好多
I could get him for you.
我能帮你约他
I could, though. Do you want me to?
我可以的想让我帮你吗
Yeah, you'd say, "Meet my friend,"
行啊他会说"认识一下我朋友"
and he'd run a mile.
然后有多远跑多远
Maybe.
也许吧
OK. I might have to throw myself in as part of the deal,
好吧也许我得把自己也变成筹码
then he'd be interested.
他就会感兴趣了
Yeah, like that's gonna happen!
一副你真会这样做的样子
Offer's there. One time only.
反正我提议了仅此一次
Why would you do that?
你为什么要这样
A gift, for the widow.
给鳏夫的礼物
We could find him with this.
我们可以通过这个找到他
Says he's five miles away.
显示他离这里只有八公里
There's a gay pub in Prestwich, he could be there.
普雷斯特维奇有个同性恋酒吧他可能在那
Or if we go five miles south,
或者往南走八公里
he could be in Didsbury.
他可能在迪兹伯里
Grindr doesn't work like radar.
约基又不是雷达
It's not not radar, is it?
也有一定效果啊
It says you're...33 feet away!
上面写着你离这里有十米
Exactly, doesn't say I'm ten miles away, it's close!
没错反正没写着十六公里很近了
Why don't we try?
为什么不试试
Cos you can sit there
你可以坐在这里
and think of reasons why not and then cry-wank yourself to sleep
满心后悔最后哭着自♥慰♥到睡着
or you can come with me and get hard and dirty.
也可以跟我走找人来一炮
It's my gift.
这是我给你的礼物
What's it gonna be?
你选哪个
Is it working? Have you found him?
起作用了吗你找到他了吗
Can't get a signal. He's out of range. Keep refreshing it!
没有信♥号♥♥ 他不在范围内继续刷新
What do you think I'm doing? Got him! No!
在刷啊找到他了糟糕
Shit, it's gone up! It says he's seven miles away now!
见鬼变远了现在他有11公里
Wrong way, turn around! Go south!
走错了掉头往南走
Three miles away! Oh, my God, it's working.
4.8公里我的上帝走对了
If it's a Friday, in Didsbury, he's gone to the Kettle.
今天周五迪兹伯里的话他去了凯特尔
Maltings Road.
在麦芽路上
We're in feet!
单位变小了
It says he's 4,500 feet away. How far is that?
离他四千五百英尺那是多远
That's the Kettle. Definitely.
他绝对在凯特尔
We're not seriously going to do this, are we?
我们真要这么干了对吗
Oh, my God!
我的上帝啊
What are you gonna say to him?
你要跟他说什么
Oh, bollocks!
真见鬼
Shit. Fuck!
要命靠
One mile away. The bastard!
距此1.6公里了那个混♥蛋♥
He's on the move!
他在车上
It says three miles again.
又变成4.8公里
But look, there's loads of boys at three miles, you know why?
但是4.8公里外有好多小鲜肉知道为什么吗
It's three miles to Canal Street.
4.8公里到运河街
We'll never find him there!
那里人山人海
Oh, my God! 30 feet, 30 feet, 30 feet!
天啊 9.1米 9.1米 9.1米
Fuck! Where can I park?!
靠哪里能停车
I know, turn left! Left here!
我知道左转就这转
360 feet now, where's that?
现在是110米是在哪里
New Union. Could be G-A-Y.
新联合或者是GAY吧
Oh, shit! Oh, no way!
靠不是吧
Fuck!
见鬼
Get in!
上车
Bollocks!
真要命
It's OK. He's not going anywhere in this.
没事的这种天气他哪也去不了
I bet he's in Manto's.
我打赌他在曼托酒吧
They've got that LGBT fundraiser.
他们拿到了LGBT的捐款
What a night!
今晚还真激烈
We'll get him.
我们会找到他的
I always think it sounds like a sandwich, LGBT.
我一直觉得LGBT听起来像个三明治的牌子
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
确实挺像的
Lettuce, gay bacon and tomato.
生菜同志培根和番茄
They've added a Q - we're supposed to be LGBTQ these days.
还加了个Q 现在我们应该是LGBTQ
Lettuce, gay bacon, tomato and...quince.
生菜同志培根番茄还有柑橘
No. Not as funny.
不不好玩
What is quince, anyway?
柑橘又是个什么玩意
It's a plant.
植物
I know it's a plant. I didn't think it was an animal.
我知道是植物我没觉得是种动物
I'm not going to be chased down the street by a wild quince, am I?
我不会在街上被野柑橘追得狂奔对吗
I fancy a sandwich.
我想吃三明治
I think I'll have...
我想我会选...
chicken on curly kale.
鸡肉和羽衣甘蓝的
Me, too. I'll add cock.
我也是我还要加根大雕
Large or small?
大的还是小的
Large, thanks.
大的谢谢
I'll have a really big cock. Supersize it. Massive.
我要个巨无霸大雕超大的要最大的
Nice big cock on crusty white.
大雕还要加奶油
I'll have...
我要...
focaccia under curly kale, thank you. "Under"!
羽衣甘蓝佛卡受面包[FUCK] 谢谢 "受"
I haven't got much time, could I have a really fast fuck, please?
我赶时间能快点打一炮吗
That for takeaway?
是要外带吗
No, I'll have my fuck right here.
不就在这里吃
I'll tell you what I want for lunch,
告诉你我午餐想要什么
I want a...
我想要...
beef, apple, lemon, lettuce sandwich.
牛肉苹果柠檬生菜三明治
Is that hot or cold, sir? Oh, gotta be hot!
您要冷的还是热的先生当然热的
I want big, hot balls in me mouth, fast as you can!
我想嘴里能吃上滚烫的大肉球越快越好
I went out with Julie Bisme for three years.
我和朱丽·俾斯麦约会了三年
But we never really did anything.
但我们什么都没干
We'd lie on her bed and fumble.
我们会躺在她床上互相乱摸
Then I'd go home.
然后我就会回家
What about you?
你呢
No. Snogged a few, that's all.
没有和几个人亲热过就这样
Can I ask? Is it easier with a girl?
我能问吗和女生是不是容易些
Like when you have sex properly?
就是正常做♥爱♥
Cos my mate Terry says, "You can deny it all you like,
因为我哥们特里说过"爱怎么抵赖是你的事
"But men and women are designed to fit together properly."
"但是男人和女人是注定要合二为一的"
Is that true?
是真的吗
Well...slightly.
有点吧
Really? Do you think? We're not supposed to say so.