主厨的餐桌（2015）

我被这群女人带大
I'm raised by women that
她们超级乐观 又乐于付出
are hyper-positive and they love to please.
就好像是 "噢 天哪 你生日耶
Like, "Oh, my God, it's your birthday.
我们要给你疯狂庆祝
We're gonna celebrate you until
让你脸通红的想躲到角落里去"
your face is red and you wanna go hide in a corner."
不管是多小的庆祝活动
Whatever little celebration it was,
都会是 "我想给你烤个蛋糕"
like,"I wanna make you a cake."
但是我从来没有仔细想过蛋糕这个东西
But I never really thought much of cake.
蛋糕其实是作为一个在美国长大的孩子
Cake is the thing that you're raised as a child in America to be,
能够得到的最激动 也最有庆祝感的甜点了
like, the most exciting, most celebratory dessert you can have,
还有... "这样挺好的"
and... "This is okay."
很松软
It's spongy.
通常也没什么复杂的风味
It usually doesn't have that much flavor,
通常还有点干
it's usually a little dry,
口感也不会很丰富
there's not a lot of texture.
就像是一个充满了被错过的机会的世界
Just like a world of missed opportunities.
我知道我需要定义我和蛋糕的关系
I knew I needed to define my own relationship with cake.
蛋糕会比过去的好很多
And that cake could be a lot better than what it was.
而且 在烹饪学校里
Also, from being in culinary school,
被那些美与完美的大♥师♥们包围
around all of these insane masters of beauty and perfection
大家完成一个蛋糕的时候...
when it comes to finishing a cake...
他们让我累到极点 几乎到了一种
They had tired me out completely to the point where I was like,
"我觉得不应该给蛋糕上糖霜"的地步了
"I don’t think cake should be frosted."
我见过给蛋糕上糖霜能让人纠结到什么地步
I've seen how obsessed you can get with frosting a cake,
这些时间应该花在别的地方
and that time should be spent elsewhere.
应该花在真正的蛋糕层上
That time should be spent in the actual layers of cake
或者糖霜 或者填充 或者不管是什么
or frostings or fillings or whatever it is,
就是不应该在一个转盘上
but it shouldn't be spent on a turntable
想要一个完美 完美 再完美的糖霜壳
trying to make the perfect, perfect, perfect frosted cake.
有什么意义呢
For what?
我们又不是上陶艺课
We're not in pottery class.
这是一个有口味的世界 有口感的世界
There's a world of flavors, there's a world of texture.
蛋糕传递的 应该远不止这些内容
Cake should be delivering more than that.
当我开始思考
And when I start to think
这些不同的
about all of these different
时刻和决定 还有精力
moments and decisions and time and work
都花在做最美味的蛋糕的时候
put into making the most delicious cake
蛋糕泡 糖霜 碎屑 还有填充
and cake soak and frosting and crumb and filling...
为什么我要把它们盖起来
why would I cover it up?
就好像看着一个玩具屋
It is that dollhouse moment of looking in and being like,
"我想看到
"I wanna see the world of
最神奇的世界 在这里面发生的事情"
amazing things that's happening on the inside."
我想的纷繁复杂的小事是
The little intricacies of how
你咬下去的那一口完美的夹心蛋糕
I'm thinking about your perfect bite of layer cake.
所以我不给蛋糕的侧面上糖霜
So we don't frost the sides of the cake.
这是我对蛋糕的观点
That's my diatribe on cake.
你要帮我倒牛奶吗
Are you gonna help me pour the milk?
哦 小心
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
我妈妈是个会计
My mom was an accountant.
我爸爸在农业部上班
My dad worked at the Department of Agriculture.
他们都是职场人
They were both professionals.
他们一辈子都做同样的工作
They both had the same job for their entire life.
也把我教育成了一个非常学术 沉稳的人
And they raised me to be a very studied, steady person.
如果拿回家的成绩是A以下
If you brought home anything less than an A,
他们就会一副 "姑娘
folks would be like, "Hey, girlfriend,
怎么回事儿啊 这不行啊"
what's going on? That's not okay."
"托西只能拿A 其他的成绩都不行的"
"Tosis don't get any less than an A" Sort of thing.
- 这样 - 做的好
-Ah. -Nice job.
在我大学快毕业的时候有个转折点
There was this turning point nearing graduating college
我开始意识到
where I started to realize, like,
"等等 最后我到底会怎么样呢
"Wait a second. Where is this actually gonna get me?
这样超常发挥的心态会带我走向何处呢
Where do I direct this overachieving mentality?
如果我有一点不小心
Because if I'm not careful,
就会走入困境"
it's kind of gonna be directed nowhere."
然后就进入了一种 悲伤的 愚蠢的状态
And then it becomes this sad, silly thing, where you're like,
"我这辈子到底是为了什么一直在拿A"
"What have I been doing my whole life getting A's?
这条路又该怎么走呢
Where is that gonna take me?"
我要长大成人了
I'm about to be a grown-up.
我不想穿着衣冠楚楚每天去上班
I don’t want to suit up and go to work every day.
我知道内心深处的我肯定会死的 肯定会窒息
I knew deep down inside of me that I'd die, I'd suffocate.
于是我就在问自己
And so I started asking myself,
"到底是什么事情
"What is the thing that's
会让我早上起来 心情激动的"
gonna get you up in the morning and excited?"
答案是烘焙
And it was baking.
如果我能以此为生的话 那就是我
And if I could do that for a living, like, that's me.
那就是我的梦想
That would be my dream.
我总是觉得纽约是个充满能量的神奇的地方
I always felt New York City was this energetic, amazing place
一切都可能发生
where anything is possible.
这种观点促成了我的想法
That really helped form this idea of like,
"我要去纽约 当一个糕点大厨"
"I'm gonna move to New York and be a pastry chef."
我妈妈当时很难接受
My mom had a hard time with it.
烘焙是你在空闲的时候做的事情
Baking was something that you did every day in your free time
是做完了固定的工作之后做的
once you were done with regular work.
她就想不通
She just couldn't fathom, like,
"为什么这么简单的工作 能给人这么大的影响呢"
"How could something so menial drive someone so greatly?"
我说的是 "我知道
And I said, "I know that you
你为了我的生活 工作得起早贪黑
worked your butt off for me to have this life,
但是这不是我想要的
and I don't want it.
我想在这里做些事情"
I wanna do something over here."
我知道这样有点伤感情
I think I knew that that was a little heartbreaking.
但是我就是知道我会离开 所以我离开了
But I just knew that I was gonna go, and so I went.
我搬到了纽约 我此前从没来过这里
I moved to New York. I had never been there before.
我带着简历 上面也没几条履历
I had my résumé, which listed very few things.
然后 我被拒绝了
And I just hit the pavement.
我是为了自己的梦想
I was living my dream.
还有我的查格手册 基本就是唯一的教程了
And I had my Zagat book, which was really the only caliber
那个时候纽约好的餐厅里都在用这个
of what a great restaurant in New York City was back then.
我做了很多记号♥
And I had dog-eared all of
但凡有点名气的餐厅我都标记了
the restaurants that had any sort of reputation.
我想找份工作 在餐厅里的就行
I just needed a job and I wanted it to be in a restaurant.
我知道 我一旦进了门
I knew, once I got my foot in the door,
我就能比任何其他人更加努力
I could work harder and longer
工作更长的时间 去实现我的梦想
than anyone else to get where I needed to go.
我白天去上烹饪课 晚上工作
I'm going to culinary school by day and working by night.
之后我就爱上了在餐厅工作
And I fell in love with restaurant life.
一年后 我终于在一家名为布雷的餐厅找到了工作
After a year, I finally got a job at a restaurant called Bouley.
曾获纽♥约♥时♥报♥四星评价
Four star, New York Times,
是当时在纽约
one of the three or four
数一数二的顶级餐厅了
great restaurants in New York City at the time.
克里斯蒂娜毕业于法式烹饪学院[纽约规模最大的烹饪学校下的法国菜系学院]
Christina went to French Culinary Institute.
她还在布雷餐厅工作过 这非常了不起
She worked at Bouley, which was a very big deal.
她付出了很多
She did the work.
但是看上去却轻而易举
She's so light and easy.
这就让你很难注意到
It distracts you from just
她有多大的抱负以及她付出了多少努力
how incredibly ambitious and hardworking she is.
我就像个火车头一样 一往无前
I just, like a locomotive, would keep going.
就像我眼下苍白的眼袋一样
Just, like, pale, bags under my eyes,
我单纯幸福地爱着我的工作
and blissfully in love with this pursuit.
从没止步踌躇过
I didn't stop to really consider much at all.
我大约在纽约的地下室工作了十几年
I probably worked in basements of New York City for over a decade
才让我的事业
before anything that anyone
有了明显的起色
cares about in my life actually happened.
如果你刚进入一个行业五年到十年
When you are in it for your first five, ten years,
你只能做个打杂的
your only job is to be someone else's soldier.
在我到怀利·迪弗雷纳手下工作之前
No one gave a S-H-I-T about my opinion
没有人在乎过我的意见
until I started working for Wylie Dufresne.
wd~50是一家
wd~50 was known for being
超级无敌华丽炫酷又有高科技傍身的餐厅
this super-duper, fancy-schmancy, haute-technique restaurant,
而怀利则是其创意无穷又兼具艺术品味的灵魂主厨
and Wylie was its cerebral, creative, artistic chef.
我已经见识过什么叫高级点心师
I had seen what being a great pastry cook looked like,