大城小妞（2014）

Jeremy!
杰瑞米
Uh, I was just gonna see what you're up to today,
我本来是想看看你今天有什么打算
but you're obviously going to work, so.
不过显然你是要去上班
This is a joke shirt.
这T恤只是搞笑用的
'Cause I'm a trainer.
我实际上是个教练
Yeah, I sometimes train, um, VIP clients at night.
我有的时候会在晚上 训练VIP客户
Like Shania... Twain.
比如仙妮亚·唐恩
And then I come back here during the day
然后白天回家
and I'm just free to do whatever happens.
想干嘛就干嘛
Well, I know we don't know each other that well,
我知道我们没那么熟
but I'm heading upstate today to pick up some
但我今天要去北部
salvaged beams from an abandoned barn...
从一个废弃谷仓里取点浮木梁
And I was just wondering if you...
想问你可不可以
could sign for a package for me that I'm expecting.
能帮我签收一下包裹
I mean, only if you're going to be home anyway.
当然前提是你本来就要留在家的话
Totally, totally.
当然可以
Amazing, okay. I'll leave a note on my door
太棒了 我会在门上留个纸条
and tell them to drop it off here.
让他们把东西送到这儿来
The window's between 10:00 and 4:00.
配送时间段是10点到4点
Okay. I really appreciate it.
好的 实在太感谢了
I owe you one.
欠你个人情
Okay, I love you too.
我也爱你
I'm sorry, did you just say something?
不好意思 你刚刚是说了什么吗
No, I think that you said- - you said something to me.
没有 是你说了 对我说了什么
Yeah, I said, "Can you sign for a package for me
没错 我说"能不能帮我签收
that I'm expecting," And then you said...
我的快递" 然后你说
And then I didn't- - I don't think I said anything.
然后 我没 我没说话
You're hearing things, man. I might be.
是你幻听了 可能是吧
You better get those beams.
你还是赶紧去拿梁吧
You can sign for the package, though, right?
不过你能帮我签收的 对吧
I can totally do that.
当然可以
Okay. Great signature.
那好 我签名很好看
All right, love you too. Oh, my God.
我也爱你哟 天呐
Ilana?
阿♥拉♥娜
Hey, Ilana.
嘿 阿♥拉♥娜
What?
怎么了
What time is it?
几点了
Were you just sleeping with your eyes open?
你刚是在睁着眼睛睡觉吗
No.
不是
Of course not.
当然不是
Um, that would take, like, super long to perfect.
要精通这个本领需要超久的
Computer's not on.
电脑都没开
It's just idle, I think. It's not on.
只是休眠而已 是没开
Look, I need you to read and sign the employee manual.
我需要你看一下员工手册然后签字
Details a lot of the workplace policies.
详细说明了很多公♥司♥政策
One of them is, um, proper workplace attire.
其中一条 是合适的工作场所着装
Oh, okay.
好的
Well, I can just cover this.
我可以拉上
"Sophie's Choice."
"苏菲的选择"
It also details our sexual harassment policies.
里面还说明了性骚扰政策
Got it. Got it, got it, got it, got it, got it.
明白了 明白 明白 明白
Cool.
好的
Um, well, I will get right on that, sire.
我马上就看 陛下
But first, I'm going to take my top- o'- the- morning- dump- to- you.
但首先 我得去拉个晨屎
So um, I'll see you in a couple Couple hours.
大概几个 几个小时后见
Yeah, you know, it started as a sore throat,
一开始是嗓子疼
but I'm feeling really feverish now.
但现在好像发热了
It's escalating quickly.
恶化得很快
A clump of my hair just fell out actually.
事实上我刚还掉了撮头发
Somebody had an accident in the steam room
有人在蒸汽浴室里出了点事故
and I kind of want you to handle that.
我希望你能来处理一下
It's getting worse as we're talking.
我们说话的同时病情在恶化
All right, let's wheelbarrow, come on.
好了 我们来做独轮手推车
I really think I should stay home.
我真的觉得我该留在家
Fine, take the day off, but this is what I want you to do.
好吧 休息一天 但我希望你照我说的做
Run a quick 5K, sweat it out, then take an eight- minute nap.
5千米快跑 出点汗 小睡8分钟
Wake up, do a shot of Echinacea,
醒来 打一剂紫锥菊
and then jump right into an ice bath.
然后马上冰浴
Immediately after that, suck on some ice chips,
紧接着 嚼服冰块
then urinate as hard and as fast as you can.
然后尽你所能地排尿 越快越好
Then eat a full onion, rub that onion underneath your armpits,
然后吃一个洋葱 在腋下揉搓这个洋葱
any kind of gland, any kind of mucal cavity, okay?
揉搓任何腺体 任何粘膜腔 好吗
It's called cellular confusion.
这叫细胞混乱法
All right, back on that bench, let's go!
好了回到板凳上 开始
I'll give that a try if I can muscle it.
如果有力气的话我会试试的
And then you just gotta veg.
你还得放松
They just put all of "Smallville" on Netflix.
网飞上刚放了全季度《超人前传》
But Abbi, promise me you'll watch from the beginning, okay?
但是艾比 答应我从头开始看好吗
It really builds.
剧情是逐步发展的
Thanks, Trey. No problem, Bob, feel better.
谢了 特雷 不客气 鲍勃 早日康复
All right, you want your ass tight for reunion or what?
想不想在同学会上露出翘臀
Finish strong.
坚持到底
Nice work, Gloria.
干得不错 格洛丽亚
All right, hit the showers.
好了 去洗澡吧
Join me in the showers.
和我一起洗吧
I'm not on my period.
我不在例假期
Hello? Ilana Wexler?
你好 是阿♥拉♥娜·韦克斯勒吗
Maybe... Who is this?
可能是吧 你是谁
It's Linda Lodi,
我是琳达·洛迪
from the Linda Lodi temp agency.
琳达·洛迪临时工中介的
Listen, um, I know we haven't called you in since that whole
自从冰棒事件以来
Popsicle incident. I totally forgot about that.
我们一直没联♥系♥你 我完全忘了这茬
Would you be available for some temp work this afternoon?
你今天下午有空做临时工吗
Yeah, I'm available.
有空
Great, just come over as soon as you can.
好极了 那尽快过来吧
Ilana, listen, this delivery window starts in like,
阿♥拉♥娜 送货时间还有大概
20 minutes, I really gotta go.
20分钟就到了 我得挂了
Okay, one last thing.
最后一件事
Dude, this is huge.
姐们 这是很重要的一件事
Not that big of a deal.
没那么重要
Once you get this package, he's going to think of you
一旦你收到了这个包裹 他会认为
as someone he can trust. With his mail.
你是值得托付的人 托付快递的人
Next thing you know, you're pregnant with his sperm
下一步就是 你怀上了他的种
and he's sanding down your headboard shirtless.
你们在床上翻云覆雨
I mean, I don't know if I'd get pregnant like, right away.
我不觉得我会马上怀孕
I've heard from like, lots of women that the sex gets bad
我从很多女的那里听说 有了小孩之后
after you have kids. Totally.
性生活质量会下降 没错
We haven't even had sex once.
我们还一次都没做过
I just want to, like, make sure we do it enough
我想在有孩子之前
before I would have a kid, you know?
能做个够
Even if it didn't happen exactly like that, like,
不过就算不能发展成那样
I think this was a huge step for us for real,
我觉得这也是我们之间的一大步
because he said he owes me one.
因为他说他欠我个人情
Owes you one?
欠你的
His dick, dude!
欠你根老二啊 姐们
You think so?
你觉得是这个意思
Oh, he's gonna thank you.
他会好好感谢你的
So wear that candy thong I got you from Spencer's.
你得穿上我在斯宾塞给你买♥♥的糖果丁字裤
You ate it like, as soon as you gave it to me.
你给我的那天就吃掉了
Listen, I really gotta go. I gotta let you go, sweetie.
我真的得挂了 是得挂了
I'm about to start at this temp job- - Bye bye.
我要做临时工了 拜拜
Sorry.
不好意思
I had to take that.
我必须得接这个电♥话♥
You made that call in the middle of our conversation.
你在我们说话途中打的这个电♥话♥
Did I?
真的吗
I'm really scraping the bottom of the barrel here.
我真的是黔驴技穷了
Look, my whole staff is out with food poisoning.
所有员工都因为食物中毒不在
I took them to lunch,
我带他们出去吃午饭
that sushi place underneath Penn Station.
就是宾州车站下面的那家寿司店
Oh, I love that place.
我超爱那地方