大城小妞（2014）

Broad City S01E07

Part 3 Oct. 14, 2020, 10:02 a.m.

You mean like, wash his body after sex, right?
你指做完爱后给他洗澡吗
I want to make sure you're optimizing your fantasies.
我想确保你有优化你的幻想
All right, it's the first thing I thought of.
这是我想到的第一件事
I know what we will do.
我知道该怎么办了
I know what we will do.
我知道该怎么办了
You say, "Let's play Truth or Dare."
你说我们来玩真心话大冒险
You pick me, I say, "Dare" and then...
你选我我说大冒险然后
Got it, got it, got it, got it. Say no more.
懂了懂了不必再说了
Okay, cool.
好的
10, yes!
10 太好了
Champion!
冠军
Don't feel bad. I'm on speed.
别太难过我状态太好
Okay, you guys. Truth or Dare.
各位我们来玩真心话大冒险
No, come on. We have to finish the talent show.
不我们得办完才艺秀
No, we don't.
不用
Um, hmm... Who should I... who wants to... Abbi.
我该选谁呢艾比
Truth or dare?
真心话还是大冒险
Truth or dare? Truth or dare?
真心话还是大冒险真心话还是大冒险
You know what, I'm gonna go with dare.
我选大冒险
Okay. I dare you to suck Jeremy's dick.
好你敢吃杰瑞米的鸡鸡吗
Um, that's a wrap on Truth or Dare.
真心话大冒险到此结束
Oh my God.
我的天
Oh, this is an amazing use of space.
空间利用得真好
See, this is next level feng shui.
风水很赞
That pasty ass.
那个白皮猪
He lives here for free.
他免费住在这
That's Abbi's roommate?
那是艾比的室友
Yeah. She is so hot, it's bizarre.
嗯她特别性感太奇怪了
Look at her body... So tight.
看看她的身体多紧致
Next to him, it's just like, "You suck, dude."
站在他旁边反差太明显
Fully stocked mini fridge.
小冰箱里塞满了东西
Should I put my Lincoln Log on one of these cans?
我要不要用我的鸡♥巴♥碰下这罐头
That is so sweet. Abbi would love it.
你真好艾比会很开心的
Guys, there's something that I want to get off my chest.
我有心里话想说
In case, you know, we die today.
万一我们今天死了
It's okay.
没事的
I once ate a corn on the cob...
我有次吃了玉米棒上的玉米
including the cob.
包括玉米棒
I can't really... I don't see anything wrong with that.
这没什么问题吧
It's okay.
没事的
I'm sure it's good for you in some ways.
这肯定对你有好处
Yeah. I mean, it's roughage, right?
是啊是粗粮对吗
I do it every time.
我每次都这么吃
I'm sorry, do you guys smell something?
你们有闻到什么味道吗
No.
没
Smell a little like dookie, no?
像是屎的味道
Can you grab me some more wine just to top it off?
能再给我倒点酒吗
It's getting flat. Sure.
快没了当然
Jaime, it's you. You smell terrible.
海眉是你你臭死了
I smelled it all night. I'm sorry.
我闻了一整晚了深表同情
I think you stepped in something.
你好像踩到了什么
I'm so sorry.
同情你
I think that we can all agree that there's no smell.
我们可以一致同意并没有什么味道
It's the storm, I think. Yep.
应该是风暴
Sweet dreams on my ass, Bevers!
在我屁♥股♥上做美梦贝弗斯
Yes... Got it!
好了搞定
W-w-wait, wait, wait. Ew.
等等等等恶心
It's tea time, bitch.
现在是喝茶时间贱♥人♥
Oh, governor!
州长
I have a hole in my weenus!
我鸡鸡上有个洞
Have you been to Africa?
你去过非洲吗
No. Oh, you gotta go.
没你一定要去
I would love to go.
我很乐意
Yeah, I learned to cook meat just out in the wilderness.
我在荒野中学会了做饭
Yeah, you, you cook a lot, right?
你经常做饭对吗
Every time I'm outside your door, it smells so good.
每次我在你门外都特别香
It smells like garlic or... You're smelling my apartment?
像是蒜还是你闻我的公♥寓♥
Walking to places that I go.
在我出去的时候
I go to a lot of spots.
我去很多地方
To answer your question, I love to cook.
回答你的问题我喜欢做饭
Me too. I think cooking is just a wonderful thing.
我也喜欢我觉得做饭很有意思
It's like, spices all over stuff and mixed in.
就是把各种调料撒在东西上面混在一起
What do you like to make?
你喜欢做什么
Egg, mostly.
主要是鸡蛋
What the hell!
搞错没有
Who shits in my shoe?
谁在我的鞋里拉屎
Motherfuckers!
我♥操♥
So which one of you maggots did it?
你们哪条蛆干的
Okay, um, I'm going to go.
我走了好了
I live right next door, so...
我就住隔壁
No one's going anywhere until I find out
在我搞清谁在我的鞋里拉屎之前
who took a shit in my Shapely!
谁都不准走
Was it you, Dimples?
是你吗酒窝男
No, no.
不不
I'm on a low-fiber diet.
我是低纤维饮食
I go like, twice a week, tops. I promise.
我一周最多拉两次我保证
You know, it could have been anyone, actually,
可以是任何人
'cause in hurricanes, people are coming and going
因为在飓风期间人们来来往往
and there's a lot of stuff happening.
有很多事情发生
Matty, come on, huh?
马蒂你就招了吧
Camp was rough.
营地生活艰苦
Tonight brought up a lot of bad memories.
今晚勾起了很多回忆
You took a dump in my size 11s. Just say so.
你在我11码的鞋里拉屎承认吧
No, it wasn't me. It wasn't me at camp either.
不是我当年在营地里的也不是我
Camp was the best. I had the best time.
露营最好玩了我可开心了
Danny was the coolest counselor ever.
丹尼是史上最酷的辅♥导♥员
Only me and Greg Shapiro could blow ourselves.
只有我和格雷格·夏皮罗可以自我吹♥箫♥
I was always the fastest at it. Always!
我总是速度最快的总是
What?
什么
No.
不
No... Oh.
不是
No, no, you got it wrong.
你们想错了
It wasn't like that!
不是那样的
I would blow myself and Greg would blow himself separate,
我给自己吹♥箫♥ 而格雷格在房♥间另一头
across the room.
给自己吹
There's a video of it! There's a...
有视频的有
Are you the secret dumper, brown eyes?
你是秘密拉屎者吗棕眼女
Oh my God.
我的天
Marla, I know... It was Brody.
玛拉我知道是布洛迪
Come on, Brody! Come on out here, boy.
过来布洛迪出来
Come on out!
快出来
Brody's my dog. And that explains it.
布洛迪是我的狗这就说得通了
Sorry, guys.
抱歉各位
Oh, I feel like a crazy methhead right now.
我感觉自己像个疯子
It's okay... It's fine, it's fine.
没事没事
Except for one thing!
除了一件事
If you had a dog, I'd be dead because I'm allergic, bitch!
如果你有狗我早就挂了我对狗过敏贱♥人♥
So Abbi, why'd you shit in my Shapelys?
所以艾比你为什么在我鞋里拉屎
And tell it to the toe!
跟我的脚趾说
Fine! God, it was me!
好吧是我
I didn't shit in your Shapely though.
不过我没有拉在你的鞋里
I wouldn't do that.
我不会那么做
I shit in the toilet, but there's no water
我拉在了马桶里但是没有水
and I couldn't flush it.
冲不了
Ilana said that she would take care of it.
阿♥拉♥娜说她会处理
I did not think that that meant she would put it in your shoe.
我不知道她的意思是把屎放到你鞋里
God. I'm sorry.
天我很抱歉
I'm sorry.
对不起
Okay, uh, this was so fun. I'm gonna go.
今晚很有意思我该走了
Glad I kept my shoes on.
幸好我没脱鞋