哈哈大校（2013）

Ooh, you smell nice!
你身上可真香啊
Did my back in last night.
我昨晚闪到腰了
Right, get out.
好了 下车吧
What have I done? You know exactly what you've done.
我做了什么啊 你很清楚你做了什么
And you ain't just done it the once, have you?
而且你还不止做了一次 是吧
I mean, you've done it again ..and again...
你做了一次 又一次
..And again. So, get out.
然后再一次 滚下车吧
I can't walk all the way to school.
我没办法走这么远的路去学校
I barely made it down the stairs this morning.
我今早下楼梯都很困难
Out!
滚出去
This is about me and your mum, innit? Don't.
是因为我和你♥妈♥的♥事 对吧 别说了
Seriously, just...
说真的 立刻...
Don't. All right.
别解释 好吧
Your mum asked
你妈妈问
if you could pick up a large tub of margarine on the way home.
你下班回家的路上能不能带些人造黄油回去
We got through a lot of it last night.
我们昨晚用掉了很多
Thanks for helping me, Jo.
谢谢你来帮我 乔
I know we didn't get off to the best start,
我知道我们一开始关系不太好
but, um... this is fun, isn't it?
但是 这很有趣 不是吗
We should spend some more time together outside school.
我们下了班以后 也该多一起玩玩
What do you think? Go out one day?
你觉得呢 哪天出去玩玩
Just us girls? Do a bit of shopping?
就我们女生 购购物什么的
Or as I call it... retail therapy.
或者按照我的叫法 "零售疗法"
That's funny, isn't it, Jo? Retail therapy.
真好笑 不是吗 乔 零售疗法
We could get mani-pedis.
我们可以去做手足美甲
You could get your toes waxed.
你的脚趾可以享受蜜蜡脱毛
Or I could do you a make-over. Hm?
或者我可以帮你进行形象大改造
I've done it lots of times for friends.
我帮朋友们做过很多次了
And, um... well, I don't want to exaggerate,
并且 我也不想说得很夸张啦
but just by picking the right lip gloss,
但是 仅仅通过选择一款正确的唇彩
I've transformed women's lives.
我就已经改变过某些女人的人生
I mean, you know, I can't promise you this.
虽然 我没办法保证把你变得像我这么漂亮
But have a think. Yeah?
但考虑一下 好咩
Yeah?
好咩
Do we have a yeah?
你愿意咩
Yeah?
好咩
Yeah?
好咩
Yeah?
好咩
Yeah?
好咩
Morning.
早上好
Morning, Keith.
早上好 凯斯
Nice to see my girls getting on.
很高兴看到我的女孩们和睦相处
Jo's been helping me with my "Chaussures pour femme" Poster.
乔在帮我制♥作♥"女鞋"海报
Really? Yeah.
是吗 是啊
We've been having a right old girly chat.
我们聊得很开心呢
So, that's why my conical flasks are unwashed, is it?
所以我的锥形瓶才没有清洗 是吧
Yes, I said she could do those later.
是的 我让她晚点再清洗的
Jo, will you excuse us one moment, please?
乔 你能先回避一下吗
Jo is my lab technician. She is not your lab technician.
乔是我的实验室助手 她可不是你的实验室助手
French teachers do not have lab technicians.
法语老师根本没有实验室助手
Oh, sorry! My bad. I thought we were sharing everything.
抱歉 是我的错 我以为我们要共享一切呢
We are sharing a classroom. That is all.
我们是要共享一个教室 仅此而已
Sorry, Jo, we haven't quite finished.
不好意思 乔 我们还没谈完呢
Oh, yes, we have finished, Jo. I'm leaving.
不 我们谈完了 乔 我要走人了
Where are you going?
你要去哪儿
Well, you obviously don't care about my burned-out classroom,
你显然不关心我那发生火灾的教室
so from now on, I'll teach my lessons in the toilet!
所以从现在开始 我就去厕所里上课吧
Mr Church, why would you force a colleague
查奇老师 你为什么要逼迫自己的同事
to teach her classes in a lavatory?
去厕所里教课呢
A better question would be to ask Miss Postern
一个更好的问题应该是问波丝顿老师
why my conical flasks were left unwashed.
为什么我的锥形瓶都没人清洗
Because... Jo was hel.. ping... me...
因为 乔 当时 要帮我
cut... out... pictures... of... shoes. OK?
剪贴 鞋子的 图片 好吗
But Jo... was... meant to... be... rins... ing
但是 乔 本该 清洗
my... con... ical... flasks. OK?
我的 锥形瓶 的 好吗
Oh, God! Here we go again.
天啊 又要开始了
Why don't the two of you just go off and have some angry sex?
你们不如趁着怒火 出去打一炮发泄下吧
Well, I was thinking I could just change classrooms.
我想着 或许我该换个教室
We should consider all the options.
我们也该考虑下所有解决办法
Except that one.
打炮绝对不行
And having shared with you,
和你共用教室的这段时期
I can see why you live alone.
我算是明白你为什么单身至今了
I can see why you live alone.
我也明白你为何单身至今了
I don't live alone. I live with Jules et Jim.
我并不是单身 我和朱尔丝 吉姆一起生活
They're cats. Yes, I know they're cats, Keith,
它们是猫 是的 我知道它们是猫 凯斯
and they're a lot better company than you are.
它们作为伴侣 可比你好多了
Well, I can see why you enjoy their company so much,
我算是明白你为什么那么喜欢它们的陪伴了
because they don't answer back.
因为它们不会回嘴
So, you can just drone on and on and on and on!
所以你可以一直唠叨个不停 不停 不停
Oh, listen to you droning on and on and on and on!
听你这叨逼个不停 不停 不停的
You've no idea, Headmistress! She comes into my classroom...
你完全无法想象 校长 她闯入我的教室
He is unbelievably selfish!
他实在是太自私了
Shut up!
闭嘴
You are both as bad as each other.
你们都一样恶劣
Mr Church, go back to your chemistry lab.
查奇老师 回你的化学实验室去
Miss Chakrabarti, go back to your classroom.
夏克罗巴蒂老师 回你原来的教室去
But it's still being re...
但那里还在...
Talk to the hand, cos the face ain't listening.
随你怎么说 我是不会听的
All right?
你还好吗
Hello.
你好
How's it going with Sarah?
你跟莎拉相处得怎么样
Yes. Fine, thank you.
是啊 挺好的 谢你关心
How's it going with Gareth?
你和加瑞斯相处得怎么样
Couldn't be better.
好的不能再好了
Good.
那就好
Oh, God, she's coming over. Hello, Sarah!
天啊 她要过来了 你好啊 莎拉
All right, babes?
你没事吧 宝贝儿
I'm fine, thank you, Trevor.
我挺好的 谢谢 特雷弗
**I'm walking on sunshine*
*我漫步在阳光之上
**I'm walking on sunshine*
*我漫步在阳光之上
**And don't it feel good!*
*感觉真是好极了
Have you been sniffing the creosote again?
你又开始抽杂酚油了吗
No, no. Those days are behind me.
不 我已经不干那种事了
I'm on a natural high.
我现在是自然的亢奋状态
Oh, good for you, Gareth, because you are normally someone who -
那可真好 加瑞斯 因为你这人通常...
forgive me - sucks the life out of the room.
原谅我说话直接 会把周围变得死气沉沉
That was the old Gareth. This is the new Gareth.
那是过去的加瑞斯 现在的我是全新的加瑞斯
He's got his mojo back.
他又找回他的个人魅力了
Well, that was all sudden.
那可真够突然的
Yes, what exactly happened overnight that led...
是啊 昨天一夜之间究竟发生了什么...
Don't.
别提
Seriously, don't.
说真的 别提
Yeah, but I... don't.
好吧 但是我... 别提
Don't worry, Trevor.
别担心 特雷弗
I'm not going to go into all the ins and outs
我不会把我和你妈之间"进进出出"的事
of what I got up to with your mother.
事无巨细地说出来的
That's my mum you're talking about.
你这可是在说我妈
She only ever done it once, and that was to have me.
她只做过一次那种事 结果就生出了我
No, no, no, I... I don't think so, lad.
不不不 我觉得不是这样 兄弟
Your mum knows more tricks than Paul Daniels!
你妈会的奇淫之术比保罗·丹尼尔斯还多呢
声称与超过300名女子发生过性关系
著名魔术师 在自传中
No!
不是吧
Really? Yeah.
真的吗 是啊
How stupid! I know.
真够蠢的 我也觉得
Look what you've done to my Ferrari Testarostarosa.
瞧瞧你把我的法拉利汽车模型搞成什么样了
Don't worry.
*别担心
After school we can pop by Toys R Us and pick you up a new one.
放学后 我们可以去玩具店给你买♥♥个新的
It is not a toy. It is a collectors' item.
我这个不是玩具 是收藏品
Please, Trevor, sit down.
好了 特雷弗 坐下
Rita, do you want me to tell him, or...
丽塔 你是希望我来告诉他还是...