哈哈大校（2013）

But you can choose to give it to Ofsted or...
但是你可以交给教♥育♥部♥或者...
keep it for yourself.
私吞了
Do you think you can corrupt me with money?
你觉得你能用钱收买♥♥我吗
No.
没有
No.
不是
Here is my Nectar card. There are 50,000 points on that.
请收下我的消费积分卡 上面有5万积分哦
Hello, headmistress?
喂 是校长吗
No, still haven't got it.
没 我还是没拿到
I'm just hiding in the toilet.
我现在躲在厕所里呢
She hasn't seen me.
她没看到我
She's seen me.
现在她看到我了
What's Postern blubbing about?
波丝顿在唠叨些什么呢
She'll want me to go and comfort her.
她想让我过去安慰她
I saw her first, mate.
我先看到她的 老兄
What are you doing? Can't you see I'm upset?
你们在干什么呢 你们看不出来我很伤心吗
I'm sorry, Sarah. I'm actually here to help. What's the matter?
我很抱歉 莎拉 我是来帮你的 怎么回事
I've made a dreadful... What's the matter, princess?
我做了件可怕的... 怎么了 小公主
Can you, please, stop touching her? You stop touching her.
你能别碰她了吗 你才别碰她
Will you both, please, stop touching me and listen?
你们能都别碰了 好好听着吗
This is about me.
我才是你们要关注的重点
Yes, Trevor, a bit of hush, please.
是啊 特雷弗 你稍微安静下
Sh, sh, sh, sh, sh, sh!
嘘 嘘 嘘
You sh-sh-sh-sh up yourself!
你嘘你自己去吧
I've made a dreadful mistake in my inspection.
我在面对视察时犯了个可怕的错误
That's a shame. Mine went brilliant.
真遗憾 我那节课进行得"顺利非常"
And mine went brilliant-ly.
我那节课进行得"非常顺利"
Can we get back to me, please?
我们能继续说我的事吗
Then I went to the toilets. What? Number ones or number twos?
然后我去了厕所 是撒尿还是拉屎
What?! It doesn't matter.
什么 那不是重点
No, I suppose ladies have to sit down for both, don't they?
是啊 反正女人无论大小便都要坐下的 对吧
Sometimes I sit down to have a wee.
有时候我会坐着撒尿
Sometimes I stand up to do a poo.
有时候我会站着拉屎
Can we just get back to me?!
我们能继续说我的事吗
Then I went into the toilets and I...
我去了厕所 然后我...
accidentally...
一不小心
...bribed Ms Steele.
贿赂了斯蒂尔女士
That's a careerender. Well, don't say that.
你的教育事业算是到头了 别这么说啊
Well, I'm not saying it'll lead to a custodial sentence,
我并不是说这会被判监禁
but it's hard to imagine you ever teaching again.
但我觉得你恐怕再也无法当老师了
Don't worry, babes.
别担心 宝贝儿
When in trouble, reach for the Gunn.
有麻烦 找格恩
I'll have a little talk with her, if you like. You know what I mean?
我可以帮你去找她谈谈 你明白我的意思吗
Oh, no, no. Please, don't, Trevor. You'll just make it worse.
不 不要 特雷弗 你只会让事情变得更糟
Would you like me to talk to her?
那你希望我去找她谈谈吗
Well, that's probably not quite as bad. Thank you.
那或许要好些 谢谢
But I would still rather that you didn't.
但我还是希望你别去
Please, don't either of you even think about doing anything.
拜托了 你们两个都别去想任何办法
Oh, right. No, I get it, I get it.
好吧 我懂的 我懂的
She doesn't want us to do anything.
她不希望我们采取任何行动
No, I don't want you to do anything.
是的 我不希望你们采取任何行动
No, got it.
是啊 我懂的
She don't want us to do anything...
她不希望我们 采取任何行动
if you know what I mean, Churchy? Not really.
你明白我的意思吗 奇奇 不太懂
She doesn't want us...
她不希望我们
..to get involved.
卷入这事
To be clear, I really don't want you to do anything.
我再说清楚一遍 我不希望你们采取任何行动
Yeah, reading you loud and clear, babes.
是啊 我们都听清楚了 宝贝儿
There she is. Right, I'll handle this.
她在里面呢 好的 我来处理
When we get inside, I'll do all the talking, right?
我们进去后 我来谈 明白吗
Right.
好的
Oi, Mrs! Excuse me?
喂 女士 你说什么
My friend's got something to say to you. Me?
我朋友有话对你说 我吗
Oh, excuse us.
失陪一下
I thought you said you were going to do the talking.
你刚刚不是说你来谈吗
Yeah, I started it. Well, you finish it.
是啊 我开了个头啊 你得说到结尾啊
I will finish it. You do the middle bit.
我会说结尾部分的 中间部分你来说
What is it that you want?
你们到底想干什么
Good day to you, Ms Steele.
很高兴见到你 斯蒂尔女士
My colleague and I would like to discuss
我这位同事和我想跟你谈谈
the very delicate issue of Miss Postern's "Behaviour".
波丝顿老师之前那个敏感的"举动"
Go on.
继续说
Over to you.
到你说了
You know, um...
那个...
You know the money that she offered you in the bogs?
她在厕所里 想塞给你的那些钱
Well, that...that was an accident,
那其实只是个意外
cos it dropped out of her hand,
那钱不小心从她手里掉下来了
so we'll say no more about it, OK?
所以我们以后就别再提这事了 好吗
Bribing an Ofsted inspector is an incredibly serious matter.
贿赂教♥育♥部♥视察员是很严重的过错
No, yeah. No, of course, yeah.
是啊 没错 当然了
How much did she, um...? 60 pounds.
她的行贿金额是... 60英镑
Really?
是吗
What if we said 65? You're just making this worse.
如果是65英镑呢 你这是在把事情越弄越糟
Right.
好吧
68?
68英镑呢
Right. I'm going to have to add all of this to the report.
好吧 我得把这些都写进报告当中
What are your names?
你们叫什么名字
Er, I'm Mr Martin.
我是马丁先生
And I'm Mrs Klebb.
我是克莱伯太太
Well, I hope you had a lovely day here at Greybridge.
我希望你们今天在灰桥中学过得愉快
Here's my report.
请查阅我的报告
It makes for shocking reading.
读起来令人相当震惊
"Complete disregard for the syllabus, use of foul language,
"完全无视教学大纲 在课堂上说脏话
"Bribery, intimidation, assault,
贿赂 恐吓 袭击
serious misuse of a urinal,
小便池严重使用不当
"Two teachers dressed as sperms...
有两位老师打扮成精♥子♥
"Adequate number of bins."
储藏室数量过多"
Well, that's something we can be proud of.
那是值得我们骄傲的一件事啊
I'm recommending the school be shut down immediately.
我会建议立刻将这所学校关停
But what about the staff? They work so hard.
但这些教职员工们怎么办 他们工作那么努力
And what do I tell all the children? They love this school.
我该怎么向孩子们交代 他们很爱这学校的
I don't care what you tell them.
我才不管你怎么告诉他们
If I had my way, the place would be burnt to the ground.
如果按照我的想法 就该把这地方一把火烧了
Well, thank you so much for popping by.
谢谢你们过来一趟
Always lovely to have a visit from Ofsted.
教♥育♥部♥肯派人来访 总让我们倍感欣慰
Let me show you out.
我送你们出去吧
Goodbye, Ms Baron.
再见 巴伦校长
One last thing, Ms Steele. What?
最后还有一件事 斯蒂尔女士 什么
You've forgotten to sign the report.
你忘了在这份报告上签字了
What's that in your bag?
你包里那是什么啊
What's what in my bag? That!
我包里什么啊 就那个
I don't know.
我也不知道
Ms Steele, drugs are strictly forbidden on school property.
斯蒂尔女士 学校里是严禁毒品的
I know that. Then why bring this in?
我知道这一点 那你怎么还要带过来
Listen, I have absolutely no idea how this got here.
听着 我完全不知道这东西是怎么进到我包里的
Ah, you see, memory loss.
瞧啊 失忆了
It's the main side effect of smoking doobie.
那是抽大♥麻♥后的主要症状之一
Mm, skunk-brain.
大♥麻♥导致的脑损伤
Ms Baron, if you think this changes anything...
巴伦校长 如果你觉得这个能改变任何...
It changes everything.
那简直改变了一切
Obviously, while you were writing this report,
显然 你在写这份报告期间
you were off your tits.
你完全是处于迷幻状态的
On da 'erb. Thank you, Mr Church.
大♥麻♥抽嗨了 谢谢你 查奇老师
And that is confiscated.
我必须没收这个
Mr Barber? Headmistress?
巴伯先生 校长
Please, escort our guests from the premises.
把客人们都送出去吧
Come on. Let's be having you.
走吧 都出去
Out. Chop chop.
出去 快点
Eyes to the floor.
眼睛看着地上
Get out. Out!
滚出去 出去
Daphne. Yes, Headmistress?
达芙妮 什么事 校长