哈哈大校（2013）

No! Dead?!
不是吧 死了吗
Oh, but I only saw her this morning!
但我今早才刚见过她呢
She'll sleep with the angels now.
她现在可以和天使同眠了
So, do you have any previous experience of working in a bank?
你之前有在银行工作过的经验吗
Yes. Do you?
有的 真的吗
Yes. What experience exactly?
真的 你有什么样的工作经验
I've actually been working in banks for the past 25 years,
我其实已经在银行工作25年了
where I've risen to the position of bank manager.
我已经坐上银行经理的职位了
In fact, I've been voted Bank Manager of the Year
由于过去5年我对银行的优秀管理
for the past five years running.
本人被评选为年度银行经理
Well, then you are overqualified for the job, good day!
那你应聘这个职位是大材小用了 走好不送
Right, let's end the scene there,
好了 这一幕就到这吧
shall we thank you both very much.
感谢二位的表演
Your thoughts. Where do you think Mr Church went wrong?
现在请思考 你们觉得查奇老师错在哪里了
I didn't go wrong, it was clear from the start
我没做错 很明显从一开始
I was never going to get the job.
她就不会给我这份工作的
Miss, I think he made a bad first impression.
老师 我觉得他留下了不好的第一印象
Yes, we've covered that, thank you.
是是 这点已经说过了 我谢谢你
Also, I think he's got an attitude problem, miss.
而且他态度有问题 老师
A bad attitude is the biggest no-no.
恶劣的态度是绝对不行的
Well, you try it with her! See how you get on.
好 那你跟她演 看你行不行
Ok.
好吧
Come in!
请进
Please sit down.
请坐
Good afternoon. You've got the job!
下午好 你被录用了
Heard you ballsed up your workshop, Churchy.
我听说你在讲习会上搞砸了 奇奇
No. I should have got that job.
没有 那份工作应该是我的才对
Poor Sarah.
可怜的莎拉
Pours her heart and soul into this careers thingy,
全身心的投入到这个职业规划活动中
then you come along and take a giant dump on it.
然后你一搅合 就给搅成了一坨屎
If anyone's going to take a giant deposit on today,
如果非要说谁把今天搅合失败的话
it's you and your CV workshop.
就数你和你的简历讲习会了
I bet you don't even know what CV stands for.
我敢说你都不知道CV的意思
Yeah, I do. Go on, then.
不 我知道 那说吧
I'm going to go and get some dinner,
我得出去吃晚餐了
going to run out of chips. No.
再晚薯条卖♥♥光了 别啊
Well, obviously the C stands for "Careers". Go on.
很明显C代表职业 继续说
V... Verdict... No.
V是...裁决...不对
Voucher. Vasectomy.
优♥惠♥券 输精管切除术
Careers vasectomy?
职业输精管切除术
That's your final answer?
你的最终答案就是这样的吗
Can I phone a friend?
能电♥话♥求助好友吗
It's curriculum vitae.
指的是"个人学习工作经历"
I don't speak French.
老子不讲♥法♥语
Just an autograph or a selfie.
签名或合影只能选一个
Sorry there's not time to do both. Selfie or autograph?
没有时间兼顾两项 合影还是签名
Actually, I just need to get to my locker.
其实 我只想用下我的柜子
Cool, cool. Just getting shizzle out of a locker.
好 没问题 就从柜子里拿个东西而已
Keeping it real. Fist bump.
保持真我 来碰拳
OK, come on, get out of his way, get out of his way!
好了各位 别都围在这了
Wow, Mr Rock Star!
哎呀 摇滚明星
To be honest this is the part of it I really hate.
说实在的 我最烦的就是这一点了
The fame.
名气
Yeah, that's the reason I don't want to become famous - the fame.
是啊 所以我才不想出名的 很烦名气
Yeah, you're best off how you are. Completely anonymous.
是啊 现在的状况最好了 默默无名
Tell that to my 78 Twitter followers.
我在推特上可是有78个粉丝的哟
So, as it's your last day today,
今天是你在学校的最后一天了
I have organiseda little drinks party for you
我特意为你组织了一场小畅饮派对
in the staff room at four o'clock.
4点钟在职工休息室举♥行♥
Yeah, yeah, I'll try and swing by.
好啊 我尽量去看一下吧
It's a party for you.
那是专门为你准备的派对
What time is it again and where?
几点 在哪来着
It's at four o'clock in the staff room.
4点 在职工休息室
Put me down as a maybe.
先算我是"可能出席"吧
It'll be a teensy bit embarrassing for me if you don't come!
要是你不出席 我可能会有点小尴尬哟
Yes, but I'm quite famous now,
我知道 但我现在名气太大了
so I don't know if I want to come.
所以我不知道我想不想去
But it is a party for you!
但那是为你办的派对哟
OK, but I can't stay long.
好吧 但我不能久留
Thank you!
谢谢你哟
I'll see you later. Yeah, see you later.
待会儿见 好啊 待会儿见
Are you all right there, Mr Hubble?
哈伯老师 你还好吗
These kippers are off.
这腌鲱鱼坏了
Oi! Lads!
哎 兄弟
Oh, hello, caretaker.
你好啊 保洁员
I'm starving. Haven't eaten since Tuesday,
我好饿 从周二开始就没再吃过东西了
and that was a conker.
周二吃的是个七叶树果
Could I borrow some of those fish fingers?
能给我点鱼块吃吗
I've got none left.
我这没了
Keith, please. I'm going to faint.
凯斯 求你了 我快饿晕了
Just dunk it in the ketchup.
帮我蘸点番茄酱
Careful of my fingers!
别咬到我手了
I'm ready for the next one now.
我准备好再吃一块了
Right! It's time for my session with Sarah.
好吧 我和莎拉的讲习会时间到了
Er, maybe I should come and supervise.
我可能会去监督哦
Hang on, I haven't had dessert yet.
等一下 我还没吃甜点呢
First rule of CVs - don't be afraid to lie.
简历规则第一条 别怕造假
Oh, sorry - didn't want to stop you so soon...
不好意思 我也不想这么快就打断你
Just as I was getting going, babes.
我这刚要开始讲呢 宝贝
just a small correction.
就纠正一个小地方
You must never lie on a CV.
你们在简历上千万不要造假
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, you don't lie.
是啊 是啊 不能 不能造假
But, I mean, you can knock your grades up a little bit.
我的意思是 你可以稍微虚报一下成绩
OK. Stop you again.
好吧 又要打断你了
You must definitely never "Knock your grades up a bit".
你们绝对不可以虚报成绩
Why not? Because it's wrong...
为什么不行 因为那是错的
and employers can check up on them.
而且雇主一下就会查出来
Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right.
对对对 好吧
Sorry, are you sure? I'm sure.
抱歉 你确定吗 我万分确定
Bollocks. No, I'll say it was a typo.
完了 没事 我就说是打印错误吧
Anyway, at the end of the day,
总之呢 归根到底
it don't matter what your grades are.
你们的分数有多高并不重要
The most important thing is you got a good hobby.
最重要的是你有个好的爱好
Not a boring one.
而不是一个无趣的爱好
So, you, what's your hobby?
你 说一下你的爱好
I play the violin. No, that's boring. What about you?
我会拉小提琴 不行 太无趣 你呢
Astronomy. So boring. What about you?
天文 无趣至极 你呢
I collect coins.
我收集硬币
We've all got change, mate, that's not a hobby.
大家都有零钱 你那不算爱好
But mine are from all around the world.
我收集世界各国的硬币
Well, get yourself down to Thomas Cook
去拿给托马斯·库克航♥空♥公♥司♥
and they'll change 'em for you.
他们都会给你兑换的
We need something exciting, something that'll get you a job!
说点有意思的爱好 能帮你应聘成功的
What you put down, babes, modelling?
你简历上怎么写的 宝贝儿 做模特吗
Well, that's kind, but, um, no.
谢谢夸奖 不过不是
You must've been quite fit when you were younger?
你年轻时候肯定身材火♥辣♥吧
Still am young.
我现在也年轻
What did I put down?
我写的什么呢
Well, obviously, my extensive charity work, er...French cinema.
当然了 我广泛的慈善工作 法国电影
Blueys? Art house films.
色情电影吗 文艺片
And I also put down that I speak five languages.
我还写了我会5门语言
Do you? Yeah!
是吗 当然
All right, which ones?
那你都会哪5门语言
English. Well, yeah, obviously.
英语 显然嘛 废话
French. That's two.
法语 两门了
Spanish.
西班牙语
German. And...
德语和...
Chinese.
汉语
You speak Chinese? Yes, it says so on my CV.
你会汉语吗 是啊 我简历上这么写的
Go on, then do a bit.
那说两句听听