哈哈大校（2013）

第二季终 第六集
哈 哈 大 校
So, Mr Barber, we've had a complaint from Miss, um...
巴伯老师 我们接到投诉 是那个谁...
I think you know my name by now. I have been here over a year.
我觉得你该知道我的名字了 我来这儿一年多了
No, I don't think I do.
不 我还真不知道呢
Well, why not just call me anything you like?
那你想叫我什么就叫什么好了
Why not call me Miss Chakrabarti?
何不叫我夏克罗巴蒂老师呢
Right, so, Miss Chakrabarti...
好啊 那么夏克罗巴蒂老师
Postern.
是波丝顿
Well, why did you say your name was Chakrabarti?
那你刚刚为什么说你叫夏克罗巴蒂
Look, it doesn't really matter right now, does it?
那已经不重要了好吗
Anyway, this woman here, whatever her name is
总之 这位女士 不管她叫什么
Postern, Chakrabarti, we'll never know
波丝顿还是夏克罗巴蒂 谁知道呢
has been telling tales on you.
告发了你
That's not actually true, Gareth.
不是这样的 加瑞斯
I was concerned about your welfare.
我是关心你
So concerned, she dropped you in it.
或许是太关心了 竟然要出♥卖♥♥♥你
What am I supposed to have done now? Just...
我♥干♥了什么啊 只要...
be honest, please, Gareth.
说实话 加瑞斯
Have you been sleeping in my classroom?
你一直在我的教室里睡觉吗
Like a dirty vagrant.
像个脏兮兮的流浪汉
Miss Chakrabarti's words, not mine.
那是夏克罗巴蒂老师的原话 不是我说的
No! No, no. I promise you, I'm back on my feet now.
没有 没 我保证 我现在可以养活自己了
I've just got the caravan back from the bailiffs.
我刚从执行官那里把我的房♥车开回来了
Well, then, why did I find this on top of my store cupboard?
那为什么我在我的储藏柜上发现了这个
How do you know it's mine?
你怎么知道那是我的
Because it says, "Mr Barber's box".
因为上面写着"巴伯老师的盒子"
That doesn't mean I've been bedding down there the last fortnight.
那也不意味着我在那里睡了两周啊
Toothbrush.
牙刷
Underpants.
内♥裤♥
Tripleextraextralarge. Oh, God, no!
三倍加加大码 天呐 不是吧
Camping stove. What would I do with that?
野营炉 那跟我有什么关系
Tin of allday breakfast in a can. Oh, rumbled.
全日早餐罐头 被识破了
Packet of wet wipes.
一包湿纸巾
As though I'd use those instead of having a bath.
说得好像我用这个来代替洗澡一样
And finally, a specialist magazine entitled Hot Mature Babes.
最后还有一本名叫《性感熟♥女♥》的杂♥志♥
I only read that for the articles.
我只看文字 不看淫秽图片的
There aren't any article, 'cause I had a quick flick through.
根本没有文字部分 我已经快速翻了一遍
Do they accept readers' photographs?
他们会刊登读者来照吗
Yeah, that's the best bit.
是啊 那一点最好了
Do they blur the faces, or...
他们会在脸上打马赛克还是...
Sorry to break this up.
很抱歉打断你们
We're becoming distracted from the issue at hand.
但是再聊下去就跑题了
So, Mr Barber,
巴伯老师
there will be no more sleeping on school property.
不准再在学校里睡觉了
Is that understood?
明白了吗
Yes, Headmistress, of course.
明白了 校长 当然
100 per cent. Excellent.
百分百明白 很好
Does that include the cleaning cupboard?
保洁柜也不行吗
Yes.
是的
Boiler room? Absolutely anywhere on school property.
锅炉房♥呢 学校里任何地方都不行
Got it.
明白了
Shed?
车棚呢
Last to leave again, am I?
我又是最后一个走的是吗
Aye, I've just got to lock up and head home myself.
是啊 我得把门都锁起来 然后自己回家
I'm not bedding down in the school,
我才不会在学校里睡觉
no matter what that Miss Chakrabarti says.
无论那个夏克罗巴蒂老师怎么说
Not sure I've met her. Well, good night, caretaker.
我好像没见过这个人 晚安吧 保洁员
Good night, Keith. See you in the morning.
晚安 凯斯 明早见
By which time I'll have definitely gone home and come back again, so...
到时候我肯定已经回过家 又过来了
Bugger!
该死
I had to have a word with the Head yesterday.
我昨天跟校长说过了
I mean, he was actually sleeping in my classroom.
他一直睡在我的教室里
Sad, is'n it? Kipping in the school.
挺可悲的哈 住在学校里
Explains why your room stank.
难怪你的教室里那么臭
Didn't stink. Might have been a slight stale odour.
也算不上臭吧 只是有点霉味
Yeah, but think of all the guffs he was letting off in the night.
是啊 但想想他在夜里放的屁
I'd rather not.
我还是不想了
I'm just glad I've nipped it in the bud.
我很庆幸把这一情况扼杀在摇篮里了
Oh, my God!
天呐
Bloody hell.
见鬼了
Morning.
早上好
Oh, no. There's been a fire.
不是吧 这里着火了
And so I will be dismissing Mr Barber with immediate effect.
我要立即开除巴伯先生
Oh, no. No, no. I feel so bad about this.
不不不 这样让我好内疚
Please, please, don't sack him.
拜托拜托 别开除他
Says the one who grassed him up.
你都举报他了还有脸说这话
Look, the important thing to remember here
最重要的不在于
is not who did or didn't grass him up,
是谁举报了他
and nobody did, so let's stop using the G-word.
也没人举报 别说得那么难听
The important thing is that we have a colleague...
重要的是 我们的同事...
The teachers are colleagues. He's support staff.
教师才是同事 他只是后勤人员
..and a friend... OK, someone that we know very well...
兼朋友 好吧 一个我们十分熟悉的人...
I don't know him well. who we've met...
我可不怎么熟悉他 一个我们认识...
who desperately needs our help.
一个亟需我们帮助的人
Otherwise he will end up begging on the streets.
否则他就得沦落街头去乞讨了
I read in the Daily Mail the other day
我前几天在《每日邮报》上读到
that some of these beggars
有的乞丐
make over a quarter of a million pounds a year.
一年能挣25万英镑
Look, all Gareth needs is a place to sleep.
听着 加瑞斯只是需要一个睡觉的地方
I mean, if he had somewhere to live,
如果他有个住处
you wouldn't sack him, would you?
你就不会解雇他了是吗
No, I wouldn't, Miss Chakrabarti.
是啊 我就不会了 夏克罗巴蒂老师
Her name's not... No...
她不叫... 没事
So, I'm sure you'd love to be the one who puts him up.
我相信你一定很愿意收留他吧
I'm glad you've brought that up,
我很高兴你提出了这点
Ms Baron. Yes, I would love to put Gareth up.
巴伦校长 对 我愿意为加瑞斯提供住处
That's settled, then. But...
那就没问题了 但是...
Here we go. I only have the one spare room.
我就知道 我只有一间空房♥
And? And it only has a sofa bed.
然后呢 里面只有一张沙发床
And that's not a long-term solution, is it?
那也不是长久之计啊
He needs a bed, a bed that stays a bed.
他需要一张床 真正的床
What a kind-hearted woman you are.
你可真是个善良的女人啊
Anybody else, before I sack him?
在我解雇他之前还有人愿意帮忙吗
Mr Church?
查奇老师呢
Like Sarah, I'd love to, but, um...
我跟莎拉一样想帮他 但是...
Here we go again. .. I only have the one large towel.
又来了 我只有一条大毛巾
It wouldn't be fair on Gareth to expect him to use a damp towel.
让加瑞斯用湿毛巾恐怕不太合适吧
Could you not buy another towel?
你就不能再买♥♥一条吗
Well, then I'd need a bigger towel rack, and so on,
那我就还得换个大毛巾架 别的也得跟着换
and so on and so on and so forth.
等等等等都得换一遍
It would quickly descend into chaos.
很快家里就会一片混乱
Well, there we have it.
那就只能这样了
Mr Barber will be out of a job and sleeping on the streets.
巴伯老师将失去工作 睡在大街上
All right. Oh, Trevor, can't you put Gareth up?
好吧 特雷弗 你就不能收留加瑞斯吗
No, no, no way.
不行不行 绝对不行
But you're always telling me how big and comfy your bed is.
但你老说你的床多大多舒服啊
Oh, is he?
是吗
You said it could fit you, me and Pippa Middleton.
你说你 我和皮帕·米德尔顿3个人都睡得下
Yeah, I'd love to.
是啊 我当然乐意
I mean, them posh birds, they're filth.
那些富家女 可以玩重口味
So, you could easily fit Gareth in.
那加瑞斯完全能睡得下
Problem solved. Thank you, Mr Gunn.
问题解决了 谢谢 格恩老师
Oh, bollocks!
完了
Hello.
你好啊
Hello.
你好啊
Thanks for letting me share your classroom.
谢谢你让我跟你共用教室
Yes, but just into a classroom.
没错 但只是搬到一个教室
Yes. It's only for a couple of weeks.
是的 而且只共用几周
Maybe longer!
可能会更久呢
No, because by then my own classroom will have been redecorated.
不会的 因为到时我的教室已经重新装♥修♥好了