哈哈大校（2013）

'Ello, missus. Need an 'andyman?
你好 小姐 需要勤杂工吗
It's like the start of a porno, innit?
有点像色情片场景似的 对吧
Yeah, but only the very start.
是啊 但就开场部分像而已
I brought you some Malibu.
我给你带了些马利宝朗姆酒
Me mum's had a few swigs, but there's still plenty left.
我妈喝了几口 但还剩下不少
I thought maybe we could have a little lie down,
我想着或许我们可以躺下来
chuck on some Smooth FM, you know, before Churchy gets here.
趁查奇没来 听些舒缓的音乐放松下
He's already been here two hours.
他已经到了两小时了
Well, he's very early!
他也来得很早嘛
Haven't you brought any tools?
你带工具来了吗
Oh, right, yeah, the pic... No, I forgot about that.
对哦 那幅画 我完全给忘了
That is why you are both here.
我就是为那个才叫你们过来的啊
Well, Churcherella, get yourself down to Wickes.
奇奇姑娘 你赶紧去五金店买♥♥些吧
No rush. Have a little browse, grab a coffee,
别太赶 顺便看看书 喝喝咖啡什么的
come back in a couple of hours.
几小时后再回来吧
No, you should go. I need to stay here and guard Sarah.
不行 该是你去 我得留在这里守护莎拉
No, you go. Right, you can both go.
不 你去 行了 你们都去吧
Cock blocker.
就会坏鸡♥巴♥好事
What you doing under there, babes?
你趴在那下面干什么呢 宝贝儿
Finished? Yep.
弄完了吗 是的
Not going to fall on me?
不会掉下来砸我身上吧
Er, shouldn't do. Right, well, thank you very much.
不会的 好吧 非常感谢
Off you go.
你们可以走了
Any other odd jobs we can be getting on with while we're here?
趁我们在这儿 还有什么活儿需要我们干吗
No, no, I just need you to leave.
没了 没了 你们赶紧走吧
Oh, I could do with a quick cup of tea.
我迅速喝杯茶也是好的
No, no tea for me. I'll just have, er, the Malibu.
我就不喝茶了 给我倒那个朗姆酒吧
OK, these aren't for you!
听着 这些不是给你们吃的
Well, who are they for, then?
那你是为谁准备的
I have a friend coming over to dinner.
我有个朋友要过来共进晚餐
Soon. So I'm very sorry, but I need you both to leave.
很快就到 我很抱歉 只能请你们离开了
A female friend or... A male friend?
女性朋友 还是 男性朋友
It doesn't matter. Well, it does matter,
那都没关系 有关系啊
cos if it's a geezer I'm going to have me Malibu back.
如果是个老头子 我就得把我的朗姆酒要回来
Come on. Out!
好了 出去吧
Right, you two...
听着 你们两个
just get out. Get out that way.
赶紧出去 从那个门出去
Get out.
快出去
That's nice, innit? Come round and do a bit of free DIY,
真够酸爽的啊 跑过来做一堆手工活儿
then it's, "Out you get,
然后说 "你们赶紧走吧
I've got a fella coming round to sex me up."
我有个朋友要过来搞我"
Well, I don't think anyone's going to be sexing anyone up.
我觉得是不会跟"搞"有关的
So... have the Chuckle Brothers gone?
那对搞笑兄弟走了吗
Yeah, yeah, don't worry.
是啊 是啊 别担心
Keith and Trevor left ages ago.
凯斯和特雷弗早就走了
Erm, have a seat.
请坐吧
OK, there we go. Would you like a drink?
好了 就这儿 你想喝点什么吗
A large glass of this wine, please.
一大杯的这个酒
And make sure you have some, too.
请你务必也喝一点
Thank you.
谢谢
That was, as my uncle would say...
真是...用我叔叔的话说就是
..Totally delicious.
"好吃得不得了"
Thank you.
谢谢
Yes, it's from a Raymond Blanc cookbook.
是啊 是根据雷蒙德·布兰克的食谱做的
I mean, I've just added a few of my own ideas, too.
我当然也加入了自己的一些创新做法
Is everything OK? You seem a bit tense.
没什么事吧 你似乎很紧张
No! No, no, no, no. No. No, I'm fine.
没没没 我很好
May I...?
我可以...
It's so nice to... spend some time alone together.
能跟你单独相处 感觉真的很好
Yes.
是啊
Yes, it is. Is there any more of that wine?
是啊 没错 还有酒吗
No, I'm afraid we've drunk all the wine.
没了 我们好像把酒都喝完了
I do have some Malibu, though.
不过我这儿有些马利宝朗姆酒
Malibu! Well, let's have some of that
马利宝朗姆酒 那我们就先喝点
and move onto the sofa, huh?
然后到沙发上去坐坐吧
Or the armchair.
或者坐扶手椅吧
Won't be a moment.
我马上就来
Don't be too long!
别让我等太久哦
Oh, my God!
天啊
Happy birthday.
生日快乐
Like your present?
喜欢你的礼物吗
This is Mr Church in the living room. What the hell?!
查奇老师正在客厅里 搞毛啊
Trevor Gunn's here, an' all.
特雷弗·格恩也在此
We're just making our way out of the living room.
我们正在走出客厅
We'll see you first thing Monday morning.
我们周一早上再见吧
I'll have that back, an' all.
把酒还给我
..And until the trampoline is returned,
在有人把蹦床还回来之前
there will be no more trampoline club.
暂时取消蹦床俱乐部
And finally, due to some... unfortunate events over the weekend.
最后一项 鉴于周末时发生的一些不幸事件
Dr Dalton has decided not to return to the school.
道尔顿博士决定不再继续回本校任教了
Is there anything you'd like to add?
你有什么想说的吗
No...
没有
Sure? Yep.
你确定吗 是的
It all seems very odd.
似乎很古怪呢
Yeah. It does seem odd, doesn't it?
是啊 确实很古怪 不是吗
About Saturday night. I'm sorry that you had to see that.
关于周六晚上的事 我很抱歉让你看到那一幕
Well, it was right in my eye line.
谁让它就发生在我眼前呢
I mean the date. Well, I mean, it-it-it wasn't a date.
我是说那场约会 其实也不算是约会啦
I just... thought he was sophisticated.
我只是觉得 他很有档次
You know, I thought he was going to be different.
我以为他会是个不一样的人
Oh, Keith, I made such a fool of myself.
凯斯 我真是丢人丢大了
Oh, Sarah, how were you to know
莎拉 你又怎么会知道
he'd take off all his clothes
还没等你端上法式苹果挞
before you'd had a chance to serve the tarte tatin?
他就把衣服全都脱♥光♥了呢
Or the cheese plate.
或者是干酪拼盘
Ooh, there was a cheese plate as well? Yeah.
竟然还有干酪拼盘呢 是啊
I suppose I got Dr Dalton very wrong.
我只能说 是我看错道尔顿博士了
Just so you know... not all us men are like that.
我想跟你说 并非所有男人都是那样的
No. I know.
是啊 我知道
Well, I mean, Trevor is. He's worse.
但特雷弗就是的 他更加下流
He'd probably whip it out before the starter.
他或许不等你上开胃菜 就脱♥光♥了
Let's just forget Saturday ever happened, shall we?
我们以后就别提周六晚的事了吧 可以吗
Good idea.
好主意
See you at lunch?
午餐时再见吧
I look forward to it.
我很期待
And I promise not to take off all my clothes!
我保证不会把衣服都脱♥光♥的
It'll be 13 years now.
到现在有13年了
Is it really? 13 years?
真的吗 13年
I'm a dad.
我当爹了
So someone actually let you, erm...? Yeah!
所以竟然真的有人让你... 是啊
Parents' evening on Thursday.
周四晚举♥行♥家长见面会
We're all very much looking forward to it, headmistress.
我们都很期待呢 校长女士
Personally, I'd rather shit in my hands and clap.
就个人而言 我更情愿糊一手的屎
Sorry, I'm up here,
不好意思 我的人是在这里
not down here.
你别老盯着这里
Ryan! Give us an oosh!
莱恩 来吼一嗓子
There's something I've got to tell you.
我有事要告诉你
I'm Ryan's...
我是莱恩
..Real...
真正的...