哈哈大校（2013）

With any luck, it might burn down again!
说不定会再一次着火呢
That was misjudged.
是我说话欠考虑了
It's too soon to joke about the inferno.
现在就拿地狱之火事件开玩笑太早了吧
I realise that now. So, did you manage to...
我意识到了 你有从火里
salvage much from the fire? The inferno.
救出什么东西来吗 是地狱之火
The inferno. No.
地狱之火 没有
My cheese map of France got very badly singed.
我的法国奶酪产地分布图严重烧焦了
I'm sorry to hear that.
我深表遗憾
My papier-mache Arc de Triomphe is a mass of twisted chicken wire.
我的凯♥旋♥门纸模烧得只剩一团变形的铁丝网
Dare I ask what happened to your novelty rubber baguette?
我能问问那条奇特的塑胶法棍怎么样了吗
It's a sticky beige pool on the floor.
烧得只剩地上黏糊糊的一团屎色
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you.
对你的损失我深表遗憾 谢谢
What... what are you doing? I'm comforting you.
你在干什么 我在安慰你啊
Right, well, I'm not feeling very comforted.
好吧 我感觉不太舒服
Should I stop? Yeah.
那我该停下吗 是的
Well, stay right there. I've got a welcome gift for you.
在这儿等一下 我为你准备了一个欢迎礼物
Une bottle de vin!
一瓶酒
Merci, monsieur!
谢谢你 先生
Oh, it's just a small one.
一小瓶啊
Well, I... I know you live alone,
我知道你一个人住
so a full-sized bottle would be too much for one sitting.
买♥♥大瓶的一个人也喝不完
Well, I could have asked one of my toy boys round.
我可以叫个我包养的小白脸过来啊
You don't have a toy boy, do you? No, it was a joke.
你没养小白脸吧 没有 开玩笑呢
Maybe I'll laugh about it later. Don't forget the card.
可能我一会儿会笑吧 别忘了看贺卡哦
I won't. So, where can I put all my kit?
不会的 我的箱子要放在哪儿呢
Oh, Jo will find a place for it. Jo?
乔会找个地方的 乔
Hello, Jo.
你好啊 乔
Say hello, Jo!
打个招呼啊 乔
Sarah's moving in with us. That's super news, isn't it?
莎拉要搬来跟我们共用教室 天大的好消息对吧
Would you find a place for, er... Sarah's things, please?
你能找个地方放莎拉的东西吗
Oh, God.
天呐
This is my bedroom...
这是我的卧室
..Or, as I call it,
我称之为
Shag Central. Well, it's very kind of you
打炮中心 你为了我
to put your rutting on hold for me.
暂停约炮真是太好了
It's all right. It's the birds I feel sorry for.
没关系 我只是替美女们感到遗憾
Right, then, a guided tour. Got my own beer fridge.
简单介绍一下 啤酒在冰箱里
Help yourself. Oh, thanks.
随便拿 谢谢
It's ten pound a can.
10英镑一罐
I'll just pop down the offy
我还是去小店里
and get myself a jumbo bottle of cider, then.
买♥♥瓶苹果酒好了
You've got some smashing toys.
你还有玩具赛车啊
No, they're not toys. They're collectable miniatures.
不 那些不是玩具 而是收藏品
Yeah, if you say so.
好吧 你非要这么说也行
Don't touch 'em!
别碰啊
Forgot what a mattress feels like.
我已经忘了睡床垫的感觉了
Well, we're going to have to sort of top-and-tail.
我们得 头脚颠倒着睡
So, if you put your head that end and your feet that end.
你得把头睡这边 脚放在那边
Yeah, all right.
好的 行
Yeah, OK, and I'll go this end. Yep.
好了 我睡这边 好的
No. Here we go, boys.
不行 来吃吧 孩子们
What are you doing? Nothing.
你们在干什么呢 没什么
There, that should keep you going.
给 喝了就会充满力气了
Oh, thanks.
谢谢
Smashing glass of milk, Mrs G.
牛奶可真好喝 格恩太太
That's kind. Thank you.
你真会说话 谢谢
Have one of my special Krispie cakes.
要吃一块我特制的酥饼吗
Don't mind if I do.
那我可真要吃了
You like it?
你喜欢吗
Delicious. Could be part of the Tesco's Finest range.
很好吃 跟乐购超♥市♥的酥饼不相上下
I'm so pleased. Trevor never says anything nice about my cooking.
我好高兴 特雷弗从来不会夸我的酥饼做的好吃
I do. You don't.
我夸过啊 你才没有
And it's so lovely you're staying with us.
你能住在我们家 真是太好了
You know, Trevor never introduces me to any of his friends.
特雷弗从来不会介绍我认识他的朋友
I wouldn't say we're...
我觉得我们算不上...
I have to say that this boy has been like a rock.
我不得不说 这小子一直都很棒
Probably the best friend I've ever had.
可能是我这辈子交过的最好的朋友
What a lovely thing to say. Jesus, you stink!
你说话可真动听 天啊 你臭死了
I've a bone to pick with you, Trevor.
我可要对你表达不满了 特雷弗
You never told me you have such a beautiful mother.
你从来没跟我说过你妈妈这么漂亮
Oh, Gareth.
加瑞斯
Haven't you got any washing-up to be getting on with?
你不是还要去洗衣服吗
All right. I get the message.
好吧 我懂你的意思
Tell you what. You wash, I'll dry.
不如这样吧 你洗衣 我来晾
Well, you can come again!
你可以再来的
Let me take that. Come on.
我来拿 给我
Ladies first.
女士优先
Gareth?
加瑞斯
If you come back in again, knock.
你下次进屋前 先敲门
That means he'll be touching himself.
那意味着他要在里面打飞机
Bonjour, Monsieur Church!
你好啊 查奇老师
What have you done to my classroom?
你对我的教室做了什么
Our classroom, remember?
是我们的教室 还记得吗
Don't you like it?
你不喜欢吗
Look at my periodic table.
瞧我的元素周期表
You've completely obscured the transition metals.
你把过渡金属元素都遮起来了
I'm sorry, this is going to have to come down.
不好意思 这个必须撕下来
Don't you touch that! What?
你敢碰那个 什么
That stays exactly where it is.
那个必须贴在那里
How else are the kids supposed to know
不然学生们怎么知道
the French for a ham and cheese toasted sandwich?
法语中的火腿和奶酪烧烤三明治该怎么说
Well, very easily,
很简单啊
because it's even called a croque monsieur in Wetherspoon's.
因为那玩意儿在威瑟斯本酒馆也叫"法式三明治"
Is it?
是吗
Oh, look, now I'm in the way of the periodic table.
瞧啊 现在我也遮住元素周期表了
Well, perhaps I should just go too, should I?
或许我也该走开 对吧
Come on. Come on, Sarah. Out you go! Come on.
走吧 走吧 莎拉 快出去 快走
Come on! You're obscuring some boring old metals!
快走 你遮住了某些无聊的金属元素
There is nothing boring about transition metals.
过渡金属元素才不无聊
They have the highest density of all the metals.
它们是所有金属中密度最高的
Boring! And if you'll excuse me, Sarah,
无聊 不好意思 莎拉
I have a chemistry lesson to teach.
我还有化学课要教呢
Because, lest we forget, this is a chemistry classroom.
因为 可别忘了 这是化学教室啊
Fine. Well, I know where I'm not wanted.
行吧 我能感觉到自己不受欢迎
Oh, and you should know that your lab technician's
并且你该知道 你的实验室助手
been extremely hostile towards me.
对我一直充满敌意
Oh, for God's sake, Sarah, don't drag Jo into this.
天啊 莎拉 别把乔也卷入这事
It's been a very confusing time for her. And I happen to know
这段时间对她来说很困惑 我还知道
she's grown very fond of you. Haven't you, Jo?
她已经变得很喜欢你了 对吧 乔
In fairness, she has been very phlegmy.
我说句公道话 她这人本来就痰多
There you go, Mrs G.
请享用 格恩太太
Thank you, Gareth. No, thank you for a cracking dinner.
谢谢你 加瑞斯 不 谢谢你做的晚餐才对
Those Findus Crispy Pancakes were cooked to perfection.
你做的煎饼实在是太完美了
See? I am a good cook.
听见没 我就是个好厨师
What d'you mean?
你什么意思
You take 'em out the freezer and put 'em in the oven.
你不过是从冰箱里拿出来 放上炉子加热一下罢了
Trevor! I was watching that.
特雷弗 我在看那个节目呢
I want to watch Top Gear.
我想看《疯狂汽车秀》
Look, put MasterChef back on. Top Gear's just starting!
调回《厨艺大♥师♥》去 《疯狂汽车秀》开始了
Do what your mother says, eh?
照你妈妈说的做
You'd be wonderful on this programme, Mrs G.
你参加这个节目一定会很棒的 格恩太太
Really? I don't know about that.
真的吗 我不太确定呢
If that Angel Delight's anything to go by, you'd walk it.
如果加上那种甜品料 你一定会轻松夺冠的
I hate MasterChef. It's boring.
我讨厌《厨艺大♥师♥》 好无聊
Some bald bloke and his boyfriend eating asparagus.
不过是某个光头和他男朋友在吃芦笋罢了
You are obviously not enjoying it,
你显然不喜欢看这节目
so why don't you just go to your room?
你不如回你房♥里去算了吧
All right, then, I will. Come on, Gareth!
好啊 来吧 加瑞斯
We're going to my room.
我们回我房♥里去
No, you go on. I'll stay and keep your mum company.
不 你去吧 我留下来陪你妈