真实故事改编（2023）

24. 他是吗？
24. He is?
是的 但他的心肺功能和鸡尾酒 杀死它
Yeah, but his Cardio and Cocktails, killing it.
一路看着它
Watch it all the way.
来吧 艾米 哦
Come on, Amy. Oh.
哦 错过了一个镜头 采取了一个镜头
Ooh, missed a shot and take a shot.
来吧 在这里等我 那不是网球
Come on, meet me here. That's not tennis.
好吧
Okay.
是的 但留在家里的妈妈们喜欢他
Yeah, but stay-at-home moms love him.
她们不爱他 他们是喝醉了
They don't love him. They're drunk.
我在想你被困在低端市场
I'm thinking you're stuck in the low-end market.
你无法脱身 而你的老板给了你
You can't get out, and your boss gave you
而你的老板给了你这个列表作为一个忙
this listing as a favor.
好吧 你得从某个地方开始 对吗？
Well, you gotta start somewhere, right?
你知道我很快就要当爸爸了 对吗？
You know I'm gonna be a dad soon, right?
我也有一个家庭 我知道你有
I have a family too. I know you do.
你有一个美丽的家庭
You have a beautiful family.
这就是为什么梅森在 而你要搬到红球
And that's why Mason's in and you're moving to red ball.
红球？我很抱歉
Red ball? I'm sorry.
那是为五岁的孩子准备的 是的 我很抱歉
That's for five-year-olds. Yeah, I'm sorry.
嘿 坏消息 没有人出价买♥♥这所房♥子
Hey, bad news, no offers on the house.
哦 太棒了
Oh, fantastic.
我刚刚被解雇了
I just got fired.
什么？你是认真的吗？
What? Are you serious?
嗯 降级了
Well, demoted.
我想厕所坏了 等一下 发生了什么？
I think the toilet's broken. Wait a minute, what happened?
我失去了我的权力基础
I lost my power base.
所有的妈妈们都搬到了Mason--
All the moms moved over to Mason--
心外科和鸡尾酒会 梅森 那个年轻的？
Cardio and Cocktail. Mason, that young one?
那边那个新的热门教练？好吧 别紧张
That new hot coach over there? Okay, take it easy.
他没那么热 这是胡说八道
He's not that hot. This is bullshit.
在你为那个地方所做的一切之后？
After everything you've done for that place?
是的 我正在接受委托--红球
Yeah, I'm on commission-red ball.
那些五岁的孩子？
The five-year-olds?
伙计们 嘿 我需要一些帮助 比如 现在
Guys, hey, I need some help, like, now.
呃 什么？
Ugh, what?
什么他妈的是怎么回事 托里？
What the fuck is going on, Tory?
哦 哦！
Oh, oh!
我不知道该怎么做！
I don't know what to do!
发生了什么事？我也不知道
What happened? I don't know.
它只是开始溢出 不！
It just started overflowing. No!
哦 不
Oh, no.
这边走
Right this way.
我为你准备了一个很好的礼物 --
I've got quite a treat for you here--
我们的旗舰产品 Toto Aquia
our flagship product, the Toto Aquia.
哦
Ooh.
自动盖板 空气干燥 加热座椅
Automatic lid, air dry, heated seat,
坐便器 和一个独特的釉面喉管
bidet, and a unique glazed throat
消除碎屑
that eliminates debris.
哦 这听起来 呃 很好 但你有任何厕所吗？
Oh, that sounds, uh, great, but do you have any toilets?
我想他--这可能有点
I think he-it's probably a little
不在我们的价格范围内
out of our price range.
它是4000美元 哦
It's $4,000. Ooh.
是的 你有一个你可以
Yeah, do you have one that you could
就坐在上面拉屎？
just sit on and go poop?
哦 我的上帝 有这个吗？
Oh, my God. Is that available?
你是认真的吗？什么？
Are you serious? What?
是的 钱很紧张
Yeah, money's tight.
我们会没事的 我有计划
We're gonna be fine. I have plans.
你会看到
You'll see.
我们都会住在马里布海滩的房♥子里
We're all gonna be living in a Malibu beach house
在任何时间 相信我
in no time, trust me.
这就是你说了很多年的网球学院吗？
Is it the tennis academy that you've been
谈论了好几年的网球学院？
talking about for years?
因为我很确定那艘船已经起航了
Because I'm pretty sure that ship has sailed.
不 实际上 它是一个网球播客 对吗？
No, actually, it's a tennis podcast, right?
我谈论我在巡回赛中的时间
I talk about my time on the tour,
起伏不定
the ups, the downs.
我认为人们会非常喜欢它
I think people will really like it.
你怎么看？
What do you think?
好吧 我不认为有人想听
Okay, I don't think anyone wants to listen
一个关于网球的播客 我很抱歉 我不知道
to a podcast about tennis. I'm sorry, I don't.
但你知道他们想听什么？
But you know what they do wanna listen to?
谋杀
Murder.
不是每个人都像你一样痴迷于谋杀
Not everyone's obsessed with murder like you.
是的 他们是 这些东西可以卖♥♥到几百万
Yes, they are. These things sell for millions.
几百万？是的
Millions? Yes.
"邪恶之根" "犯罪姐妹"
"Root of Evil," "Sisters in Crime."
这就像他妈的淘金热
It's like the fucking gold rush.
因此 除非你知道有人在温布尔登中心球场被刺伤
So unless you know someone that got stabbed
在温布尔登中心球场
on center court Wimbledon,
那么也许你应该忘记网球
then maybe you should forget about tennis.
忘记网球？
Forget about tennis?
真的吗？不是忘记
Really? Not forget.
你知道我的意思 忘掉网球？
You know what I mean. Forget about tennis?
你想让我忘记我的整个生活？
You want me to just forget my whole life?
你以为我没有看到你坐在
You think I don't see you sitting
坐在马桶上看YouTube的旧视频
on the toilet watching old YouTube videos
你击败费德勒的那一天？
of the day you beat Federer?
你真的认为那是健康的吗？
Do you really think that's healthy?
你认为每天晚上和一群死人在一起是健康的吗？
Do you think it's healthy to spend every night
和一群死人在一起的健康吗？因为我不认为
with a bunch of dead people? Because I don't.
呃 也许我不必这样 如果我们真的
Uh, maybe I wouldn't have to if we actually
偶尔做一些事情
did something once in a while.
在过去的三年里 我们做的最大的事情是
The biggest thing we did in the last three years
就是去买♥♥了一个150块钱的马桶
is go buy a toilet that costs 150 bucks.
好吧 所以这就是事情的真♥相♥
Okay, so that's what this is about.
你为什么不直接说呢？是关于钱的
Why didn't you just say that? It's about money.
我很抱歉我没有给你买♥♥他妈的托托 宝贝
I'm sorry I didn't get you the fucking Toto, babe.
这不是关于托托的问题
It's not about the Toto.
我很抱歉它没有喷到你的屁♥股♥
I'm sorry it doesn't spray up your ass.
这不是托托车的问题！
It's not about the Toto!
那你为什么一直在说钱的事呢？
So why do you keep talking about money, then?
我没有！是你提出来的 你把它变成了钱的问题
I'm not! You brought it up. You're making it about money.
钱不是问题 我们怎么了？
Money's not the problem. What happened to us?
我们曾经是很酷的 有趣的网球夫妇
We used to be the cool, fun tennis couple.
我们曾经互相支持
We used to support each other.
我们要一起征服世界
We were gonna conquer the world together.
就像 他妈的发生了什么？
Like, what the fuck happened?
好吧 那么你的意思是 我才是问题所在
Okay, so what you're saying is, I'm the problem.
哦 我的上帝
Oh, my God.
我是问题所在 因为我失败了 对吗？
I'm the problem 'cause I failed, right?
你总是这样做 是的 是的 我让你失望了
You always do this. Yeah, yeah, I failed you.
我受伤了
I got hurt.
然后我的屁♥股♥被解雇了
Then I got my ass fired,
现在我不能像你那些花里胡哨的朋友一样 给你买♥♥豪♥宅♥
and now I can't get you the mansion
像你所有的花哨的朋友一样
like all your fancy fucking friends.
哦 你知道你嫁给了谁
Oh. You knew who you married.
你知道吗 我不知道
You know what, I didn't,
因为你不是我嫁的那个人
because you're not the guy I married.
你说什么？
What did you say?
你显然是我结婚的那个人
You're obviously the guy I married.
我不是这个意思 那是你说的
That's not what I meant. That's what you said.
我知道 但这不是...
I know that, but that's not how--
它说错了 来吧 请不要这样做
it came out wrong. Come on, please don't do this.
我很抱歉我不是你结婚的那个人
I'm sorry I'm not the guy you married.
我也很抱歉我受到了伤害 我真的很抱歉
And I'm sorry I got hurt. I'm really sorry.
哦 我的上帝 来吧 我很抱歉我被解雇了
Oh, my God, come on. I'm sorry I got fired.
我很抱歉我没有他妈的钱
I'm sorry I have no fucking money.
我很抱歉 我已经老了 我很抱歉我没有朋友
I'm sorry I'm old. I'm sorry I got no friends.
我他妈的很抱歉 好吗？
I'm fucking sorry, okay?