不良教育（2012）

Boys will be boys. They were just play fighting.
男生就是男生 - 他们总是会没事打起来的
He called Coco a rat.
他叫Coco老鼠
What?!
什么?
Did I? I don't remember saying that.
我有吗? 我不记得我说过这话
You can say what you like about Frank. I can?
你可以说你喜不喜欢Frank - 我能吗?
You can call him a useless mongrel. Bit harsh.
你可以叫他没用的杂种 - 这有点苛刻了
You can call him a selfish, bed-wetting, little bastard,
你可以说他是个自私的尿床的小混♥蛋♥
who made his dad up and leave. Whoa!
所以他爸受不了他才走了 - 哇
But don't you dare be rude about my little princess.
但你怎敢对我的小公主说粗话
Right, um, I wouldn't say any of those things about Frank,
好吧 嗯 我不会对Fank说这些
mainly cos he scares the shit out of me,
主要是因为我真的怕了他
but also because underneath the bravado and the pube sandwiches,
也因为我虚张声势和那个阴毛三明治
I know that he's a good kid.
我知道他是个好孩子
Alfie's absolutely right. I'm not sure you should be calling...
Alfie确实是对的 我不太确定你该不该叫你的儿子...
You have no right to tell me how to bring up my boy. Martin?
你没权利告诉我怎么教导我儿子 Martin?
Perhaps you should try... Martin!
也许你该... - Martin!
You're bang out of order, Rosie.
这是你不对了 Rosie
Mrs Grayson, I'm not telling you how to raise your children.
Grayson夫人 我不是教你怎么教儿子
Behavioural problems are sometimes linked to jealousy.
行为问题有时候和嫉妒相联♥系♥
Not jealous, Miss. Don't deserve Mummy's love.
不是嫉妒 老师 我配不上妈妈的爱
Coco's pedigree.
Coco是纯种血统
I'm... I'm not pedigree.
我... 我不是
OK. Um, here's an idea.
好的 嗯 我有个主意
How about we just say sorry to each other and then we can all move on?
不如我们彼此说声抱歉 然后把事情抛诸脑后呢?
I think that's a wonderful idea. Frank, I...
我想那是个非常棒的主意 - Frank 我...
Well?
嗯?
You want me to talk to the dog?
你想我跟这狗说?
Coco, I'm very sorry
Coco 我非常抱歉
for saying that you look like a junkie's scrotum.
刚刚说你像瘾君子的蛋蛋了
Well done, Alfie.
做得好 Alfie
No, Martin! You as well.
不是那样 Martin! 你也要道歉
You hurt her feelings. But I didn't...
你伤害了她的心 - 但我没...
Sorry, Coco.
对不起 Coco
See!
看见了吧!
That wasn't so hard, was it?
一点都不难不是吗?
Silly old man, won't be having any of Mummy's pudding tonight,
愚蠢的老男人 今晚吃不到妈妈做的布丁了
will he, Coco?
对不对啊 Coco?
Nice to see your father's found himself another nutcase.
很高兴见到你父亲又找了一个疯子
I mean how does he find them?
我说 他是怎么找上他们两母子的?
Look, I know it's tricky with Frank,
我知道Frank比较棘手
but you and your class have to stay focused on this exam.
但你和你的班级必须集中准备这次考试了
Rosie, you know I have the utmost respect for your judgment,
Rosie 你知道我非常尊重你的决定
but A stars? For my class?
但是拿A? 我的班?
Are you mental?
你疯了吗?
But don't you realise what an amazing opportunity you have here?
你还没明白这是你多么好的机会吗!
You can stand shoulder to shoulder with these kids,
你可以站在孩子们身边 和他们肩并肩
going through the same ordeal together, as equals.
以平等的姿态经历相同的磨难
Alfie, you can inspire them to do great things.
Alfie 你可以鼓励他们做伟大的事情
The only way we can pass the biology exam
我们唯一能通过这次生物考试的方法
is if we cheat. Agreed?
就是作弊 同意吗?
Agreed! Boys and girls,
同意! - 大家
prepare to be transformed into ruthless cheating machines.
准备化身成为无情的作弊机器吧
This is your Tour de France
这是你们的环法自行车大赛
and I am your dodgy Italian doctor
而我就是你们狡猾的意大利医生
with a suitcase full of blood.
带着个装满血的手提箱
The Sit Behind The Clever Kid method.
坐在学霸后面
Here we go.
这就开始了
One smart kid makes their work visible for the cheats
一个学霸可以帮助
slipstreaming either side of them.
周边几个学渣
Apropos of nothing,
完全没问题
Jing, how big is your handwriting?
Jing你的笔迹有多大？
The Water Bottle method.
饮用水作弊法
The invigilators are required
监考员允许
to allow you to take a bottle of water into the exam.
你可以带一瓶水进去考试
We simply steam the labels off the bottle,
我们用蒸汽撕开标签
write the answers on the inside of them and then stick them back on.
在背面写上答案然后再贴会去
The Plaster method.
用石膏贴
Same logic applies. Answers underneath,
方法同样适用 答案写在里面
then simply peel back when necessary.
必要时揭开就行
The Tissue method.
纸巾作弊法
We write the answers on the tissues in this box,
把答案写在这个盒子里的纸巾上
then swap it for the one in the exam hall.
然后和考场里的纸巾掉包
If you're stuck, all you need to do is fake a cold.
你要是不会答题了 只需要假装打喷嚏
Or have a wa... Fake a cold and the answers are literally handed to you.
或者打飞... -假装打喷嚏答案就会到手
The Wheelchair method.
轮椅作弊法
All you need to get through this is a false bottom.
只需要在低端做一个夹层
Is that what your mum told you when she sent you to boarding school?
这是你妈把你送去寄宿学校时告诉你的吗
I meant in his wheelchair. It's an old shoplifter's trick.
我是说他的轮椅 可是去商店偷东西的老把戏
What?
怎么？
The Tapping method. Perfect for multiple choice questions.
敲打暗号♥ 非常适合选择题
I merely tap out the number of the question that I'm stuck on.
在我不会答的时候敲出问题的编号♥
And then whoever has the answer, taps it out back to me.
然后把答案 也敲打出来传给我
Memento method.
记忆碎片作弊法
Write down answers on parts of your body
把答案写在你身体上
that are concealed by your uniform.
用校服遮挡起来
The more body space, the better!
身体面♥积♥越大越好
Get in!
太棒了
And, for my final trick, the Smartphone!
还有 最后的把戏 智能手♥机♥
They get confiscated, you fool!
他们会没收的 蠢货
Oh, my God, how am I going to retweet all my little monsters?
额滴神啊 那我怎么转发我的小怪兽
Never fear, because I will be handing in a dummy phone,
不要担心 因为会上交假手♥机♥
leaving me free to use my toilet breaks to consult my actual phone,
我的真手♥机♥放在厕所里可以让我自♥由♥的使用
which I have sneakily planted in a designated toilet cubicle
我偷偷放在一个厕所的隔间
before the exam.
在考试之前
While you're in there, you can give your mum a bell.
当你到那 你可以给你妈打个电♥话♥
Her number's still on the toilet wall.
她的电♥话♥还在厕所的墙上
My number's up there too, Sir.
我的电♥话♥号♥也在那 老师
You know, phone a friend with benefits.
你懂的 电♥话♥交友的好处
Yeah, as opposed to my dad, who has a friend on benefits.
而我爸 现在就在享受多一个朋友好处
Is that it then? Can we get back to revising now?
之后呢？我们现在可以复习了吗
Not quite.
我还没说完
If all else fails, I have a trusted third party
要是以上全部都失败了 我还有外援
waiting to receive an all-clear text message.
等着给我发考题的短♥信♥
If that text doesn't come through, they will call the school,
要是发不了短♥信♥ 就打电♥话♥给学校
claiming to be from the hospital,
声称是医院打来的
saying that my grandmother has been in a terrible accident.
说我奶奶出意外了
Whole exam rendered null and void.
整场考试都会无效
But, Sir, who would tell such a horrific lie?
可是 谁会说这个谎话呢？
Oi, oi, Dickers! Sounds like your bollocks have finally dropped.
哦 二货 听起来你总算是不再瞎胡扯了
Right, I only get one call a day, so this better be good.
好 我一天只能打一次电♥话♥ 能帮到你也挺好
Martin? Ssh,
Martin？ - 嘘
I've just got Coco off to sleep.
我刚把Coco哄睡
I'm babysitting while Catherine redecorates Coco's boudoir.
Catherine装♥修♥的时候 我照顾Coco的闺房♥
She wants it to be a surprise. Martin, are you 100% happy?
她想要一个惊喜 - Martin你这样开心吗
Please don't wake her up!
千万别吵醒她
She wouldn't stop barking. I had to slip a little whisky in her milk.
她不停的吵闹 我在她牛奶里加了威士忌
Oh, God, don't tell me she's making you wear that as a breast?
哦 老天 别告诉我你还要用假乳♥房♥♥给她喂奶
See you in there.
考场见
Oh, I'm not invigilating the exam.
哦 我不去监考
What? But you have to!
什么？你一定得去啊
When you invigilate it's so much easier to cheat...
你去监考我们才容易作弊...
expectations and exceed academically.
期望超越学术
Remember when you sent me that clip
还记得你发给我的一个视频链接吗
of a geriatric man singing with his genitals?
一个老头用他的生殖器唱歌♥
And remember how I accidentally broadcast it
当时我不小心还播放
to an exam full of children?
给整个考场的学生看？
Best prank ever! Yeah, well, since then, they've been a bit weird
最高的恶作剧 - 自从那以后就悲剧了
about me invigilating exams.
我没资格再做监考老师了
But fear not, my replacement is the best in the business,
不用担心 代替我的是
the legendary Mr Hewston.
业界传奇Hewston老师