不良教育（2012）

Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Tring, where we set our scene.
在两个同样有声望的大家族中 我们的故事自此开场
Ancient grudges have been forgot, thanks to these star-crossed lovers.
感谢这些命运多舛的恋人们 宿怨被遗忘了
I love it when you quote old shit.
我喜欢你引用这些老古董
Smooch, how's your breakfast?
亲 你的早餐怎么样?
Frank cooked it special, you know,
Frank特意做的 知道么
to say sorry for all them practical jokes.
为他以前所有恶作剧道歉
You stopped being mean to Alfie, ain't you, Frank?
你不会再对Alfie那么过分了 对吗 Frank?
Ugh! Yeah. Yes, he has.
啊! 是 他改正了
No more pubes on my toothbrush.
没再在我牙刷那里放阴毛了
Aw, I knew you two was going to get on.
哦 我知道你们俩会好好相处的
Ding dong! All passengers for Posh Paws Pet Salon, please disembark.
叮当! 所有去Posh Paws宠物沙龙的乘客 请下车
Woof, woof!
汪汪!
Oh, Mart, you're so funny. Say goodbye to Daddy, Coco.
噢 Mart 你太有意思了 对爸爸说再见 Coco
Bye-bye, Daddy!
拜拜 爸爸!
Bye-bye, Coco!
拜拜 Coco!
Come here, you big hunk of man.
过来 你个大块头
Please don't!
别 !
Oh, God.
哦 天
Oh...
哦...
You put them in my sandwich, didn't you?
你把阴毛放进我的三明治了 是吗?
译制：四个包子 cocok7
片源来自：FoV 字幕来源：addic7ed
Do you know why I have summoned you here, to the Embassy of Bantartica?
你们知道我为什么把你们叫来这吗?
To tell him to dump Grayson's mum? No.
要他把Grayson的妈妈甩了? - 不是
Although, as Headmaster, Martin,
不过 作为校长 Martin
I am formally obligated to remind you
我有义务正式提醒你
that you are seriously punching above your ruddy weight.
你真的越来越红润长肉了
What's your secret?
有什么诀窍吗?
I'm like the Tory party.
我就像是保守党一样
I perform very well down south.
认真打理好自己就行了
Right, you, shut up. You, why are we here?
好 你 闭嘴 你 要我们来这做什么?
The local education authority have forced me
当地教♥育♥部♥门要我做件事
to run background checks on the staff,
查一查工作人员的背景
boring.com/bullshit.
真是又无聊又白♥痴♥的工作
However, in the rummage,
不过 在调查过程中
I have discovered Alf's guilty little secret.
我找到了关于Alf的羞耻小秘密
Ugh, God! Is this about my Harry Potter audition?
天哪! 是关于我去哈利波特试镜的吗?
Alf got down to the final three,
Alf打进了前三强
just pipped at the post by Emma Watson
只是最后被Emma Watson击败了
I'm talking about your GCSE Biology, or absence thereof.
我说的是关于你GCSE生物考试 或者我没查到的
Ooh, the GCSE story.
噢 那个GCSE的故事
Let me dust off me old book of yarns.
让我把这老书上封的尘吹走
Get on with it.
你就接着说吧
It was young Alf's GCSE term
那学期 小Alf有GCSE课程
and he was having to deal with some pretty brutal bullying.
而他正在应付着非常残酷的欺凌
His mother and I never got to the bottom of why they picked on him.
他的母亲和我从来就不明白为什么他们选上了他
Alfie was also struggling with biology.
同时 Alfie也在生物学上挣扎着
Luckily though, Alf wasn't the only neglected soul at the school.
幸运的是 学校里Alf并不是唯一被忽视的
A friendship was born.
一段友谊诞生了
That young janitor from Boston taught Alf everything he knew.
那个来自波士顿的年轻门卫对Alf倾囊相授
Come his exam, he was brimming with confidence.
因此对考试 他自信满满
What happened?
然后发生了什么?
He got a U. Oh.
他拿了个U 噢
Turned out the janitor didn't know anything about biology.
原来那守门人根本不懂生物学
Or much else for that matter.
或者其他有用的东西
The man had an IQ of 40.
那人IQ是40
He was tutoring Alfie in a strain of pataphysics
他辅♥导♥Alfie这事说来也玄
he claimed a lizard had taught him in a dream.
他声称他在梦中教导了一只蜥蜴
So what? I failed an exam, like, seven years ago.
那又怎样? 我大概七年前考试挂了一科
I suppose now you're going to tell me that I'm not allowed to teach anymore.
我想你要跟我说 因为这点事就不能教书了
Yes, I am. I can't employ you without your core GCSEs.
没错 如果你没有正规中等教育证书的话 我不能雇佣你
You're going to have to sit biology along with the other candidates.
你要和其他考生一起做生物考试了
Me? Do an exam with the kids?
我? 和学生们一起考试?
But I haven't done biology since I was, like, 16.
但是我自从16岁开始就没碰过生物了
Well, I tell you what, I could probably give you an A to Z
我大概可以直接给你分数
on the Ps and Qs of the birds and bees.
根据你性教育知识的相关言行来给
Right, anything but that.
好吧 只要不用那个性教育言行 什么都行
Alfie Wickers, can you concentrate please?
Alfie Wickers 请集中注意力可以吗?
Can I go to the loo? It's "May I go to the loo,"
我能去洗手间吗? 你该说"请问能让我去洗手间吗"
and no, you can't, because you've already been three times.
还有 不行 因为你已经去了三次了
Now, carbon dioxide plus water
来 二氧化碳加上水
equals glucose, and...
等于葡萄糖 和...
Yes, Alfie? Can - sorry - MAY you teach me the equation
Alfie什么事? 你能 对不起 请问你能教我个方程吗?
of how to cook crystal meth?
就是那个怎么制♥作♥冰♥毒♥的方程
Just in case I fail the exam.
以防万一我考不及格的话
Well, you won't fail if you concentrate.
如果你足够认真的话 就不会不及格
Er, Miss, when do we get to see a fanny?
嗯 老师 我们什么时候去看翘臀啊?
If you ask nicely, maybe your brother will let you see his.
如果你问法漂亮点 可能你哥会让你看看他的
Ooh! Settle down please.
噢! 请安静
He ain't my brother.
他不是我哥
Sorry, can I just point out,
打扰一下 我只是想指出一点
I don't have a fanny.
我的臀不翘
Why have you predicted us all A stars, Miss?
为什么你会预言我们都能拿到A呢 老师?
Because, Joe, nothing is more powerful than self belief.
因为没有比自信更强大的力量了
Yeah, but, Rosie, in Joe's defence,
说得对Rosie 但是Joe反驳说
he's about as likely to get an A star
他要拿个A
as he is to win Rear of the Year.
就像他拿到年度美臀一样艰难
In my defence?
我反驳说?
Joe's right, when we crash and burn,
Joe说得对 当我们一败涂地的时候
our 'rents are going to be mucho sad face.
我们父母都会一脸悲伤
Other than Jing's obviously.
显然 除了Jing父母以外
Yeah, obviously. Jing's going to get ten A stars
是啊 显然 Jing会拿到10个A
and a scholarship to an all-girls private school.
和一个私立女学校的奖学金
So, obviously Jing's going to be fine.
所以显然 Jing不会出问题
Sorry, babe. It's not your fault.
对不起 亲 - 那不是你的错
My parents are obsessed with me getting this scholarship.
我父母一门心思的想要我得到奖学金
Remember, Jing, parents only want what's best for you.
记住 Jing 父母只是想给你最好的
Yeah, I mean parents always say that,
是啊 我的意思是 父母常常都说这话
but sometimes what parents actually want
但是有些时候父母真正想要的
is really, really shit for everyone involved.
对每个局内人来说真的 真的是狗屎一般
Are you saying my mum ain't good enough
你是在说我妈不够好
for your saggy-bollocked prick of a dad? No, Frank.
配不上你那个胡说八道硬不起来的混♥蛋♥老爸吗? - 不是 Frank
What I'm saying is that when my father is motorboating
我说的是我爸开着小橡皮艇
your ridiculously-titted, dog-bothering mother over breakfast,
载着你那个有奇怪奶头的母亲 还有只很吵的狗吃早餐时
that perhaps they don't have our best interests at heart.
也许他们没有把我们的最大利益放在心上
You leave Coco out of this.
你别把Coco牵扯进来
Who the hell is Coco?
Coco是他妈谁啊?
The rat his mother keeps in her handbag.
他母亲藏在手袋里的老鼠
Coco is a pedigree Chihuahua.
Coco是只纯种的吉娃娃
Probably the ugliest dog I've ever seen in my entire life.
也许是我这一生中见过最丑的狗
I'm warning you! It looks a bit like someone glued some whiskers
我警告你 - 看起来好像有人用假胡子
onto a junkie's scrotum.
粘在一个瘾君子的阴囊上
OK, I'm sorry. Frank! Oh...
好吧 对不起 Frank! 噢...
...Fireball Tomahawk rockets?
还有多少 火球 战斧火箭?
Freeze!
不许动!
Uh-oh, it's the MILF hunter. Any last requests?
嗯 噢 是熟♥女♥杀手啊 - 有什么遗愿吗?
Does your missus have a sister? No, but her mother's quite tasty.
你太太有姐妹吗? - 没有 但她妈妈很可口
Excuse me. Yes, 30 litres of gasoline.
等一下 是 汽油30升
I'm organising the kids' end of exam party.
我正在组织学生们考完试的派对
Ingredients - one skip, one match and a whole heap of textbooks.
分别有火坑 火柴 还有一大堆教科书
About that, the skip party's off.
关于那个 那焚书派对办不了
Council were very clear. No more fires.
委员会态度很明确 不能再有火花
Yeah, well, there's always a killjoy somewhere,
好吧 总有地方让你不爽
living in a thatched cottage.
这破地方
Martin, I think you need to call Frank's mother.
Martin 我想你要给Frank的母亲打个电♥话♥
There's a problem. Oh, God!
出问题了 - 哦 天!
Has Frank found our home videos?
是Frank找到我们的家庭录像带吗?
No...
不是...
Tell me everything you know about nitro-glycerine.
告诉我所有你知道的关于硝基甘油的事情
Now, this morning, I had to break-up a fight.
现在 这个早上 我阻止了一场争吵
He started it! No, I didn't. Dad, he called you a prick.
他先开始的! - 不是 我没有 爸 他叫你混♥蛋♥