绝对杀手（2023）

So, take out your beakers.
拉福勒 你去跟达蒙一组
LaFleur, go partner up with Damon.
听见没 量杯
Hello! Beakers!
量杯
Beakers!
听见没 谢谢
Hello! Thank you.
朝他们的脑袋开枪
公♥寓♥生日派对时间到啦 姐妹
Time for condo birthday, bitch!
为了庆祝我的生日
For my birthday,
所有人必须给按喇叭的货车司机露胸
we all have to flash truckers who honk.
事先说明一下 我的公♥寓♥有几条规矩
Just so you know, the condo has a couple rules.
我的手指到谁 谁就必须干了手中的酒
If I point to you, you have to pound your drink.
不醉不休 姐♥妹♥们♥
We're gonna get wasted, bitches!
达蒙是什么情况
What's the deal with Damon?
达蒙是谁
Who's Damon?
我的实验搭档
My lab partner.
你是说鲁奇呀
Oh, you mean Lurch.
《亚当斯一家》中的角色
一个身高两米零五 步履蹒跚 愁眉苦脸的管家
怎么了 你喜欢他吗
Why? Do you like him?
基本上没人跟他讲话
No one really talks to him.
他整个初二都是在少管所里度过的
He also spent all of eighth grade in juvie
因为他经常跟人打架
because he kept getting into too many fights.
对 他因为肥猪崔茜
Yeah, and then he missed most of last year
去年都没怎么来上学
because of Fat Trish,
所以他现在就像是美国历史上最老的高二生
so now he's, like, the oldest junior in the history of America.
什么意思 因为崔茜
What-what do you mean, um, because of Trish?
她是他妹妹
She was his sister.
我们讨论嫌疑人的时候
You didn't think to mention this
你都没想过要提起这件事吗
when we were talking about suspects?
我说了肥猪崔茜啊
I did say Fat Trish.
是 但你没说她有个暴♥力♥狂哥哥
Yeah, and you didn't say that she had a violent brother.
那又怎么样 我们又没对鲁奇做过什么
So what? We've never done anything to Lurch.
我还挺喜欢鲁奇的
Yeah, I actually like Lurch.
他在比利游乐园工作
He works at Billy's Boardwalk,
有一次我在恐怖娃娃屋给里德·迪门托口♥交♥时
and one time, he caught me going down on Reid DiMento
被他给撞见了 但是他没有说出去
in the Dollhouse of Horrors and he didn't rat us out.
天呐 你在那给里德口
Oh, my God, you gave Reid a blow job in there?
旁边有人吗
Were people around?
可能有吧 不过我觉得进了恐怖娃娃屋的人
Maybe, but I feel like if you go into the Dollhouse of Horrors,
看到了什么不想看的东西
you can only blame yourself if you see something
只能怪自己
you don't want to see.
这让我真的很想念蒂芙尼
This makes me really miss Tiffany.
她特别讨厌口♥交♥
She hated blow jobs so much.
那是尿尿的地方
Pee comes out of there.
你这是要午睡了吗
Oh, is it your nap time?
我最近很缺觉
I haven't really been sleeping.
我们到了
We're here!
怎么回事 搞什么
What the fuck? What the fuck?
你们搞什么 这是什么
What the fuck? What is this?
我爸妈的公♥寓♥
My parents' condo.
不是 这不是公♥寓♥
No, this is not a condo!
不是吗
It's not?
我之前可能是要说度假小屋的
Oh, maybe I was thinking of a time-share.
这是一座在一个鸟不拉屎的地方的恐怖小屋
This is a creepy-ass cabin in the middle of fucking nowhere.
你说我们要去市里的
You said we were going to the city.
我没说
No, I didn't.
你说的还不够明显吗
You heavily implied it.
搞错没 有必要这么大惊小怪吗
Oh, my God, what's the big deal?
当然有了 海瑟 现在凶手还没捉到
The big deal, Heather, is that there is a murderer on the loose
尤其是你们这伙人正是他的目标
specifically targeting your friend group,
你却开车把我们带进了这个林子里
and you drove us into the woods.
我天呐
Oh, my God!
我忘记带伏特加了
I forgot to bring vodka.
好吧
Okay.
没关系 因为我们现在就要离开这里
It doesn't matter because we are going right now.
大家快走吧 回车上去
Come on, everyone. Back in the car.
不是吧
Oh, my God.
所有人 进屋去 凶手来了
Everyone, inside now! It's the killer.
派对来了 -派对
Party's here! - Party!
告诉我你们带了伏特加
Tell me you brought vodka!
我出门会不带它吗
Well, do I go anywhere without it?
我也来了 我带了布朗尼
I'm here, too, and I brought brownies!
不是说好了只有我们四个吗
I thought it was just gonna be us four.
有什么关系
What is the big deal?
这个周末难道你只想搞姬吗
Did you just want to lez out this weekend?
来狂欢吧
Let's party.
好恶
Gross!
不是... 是你说的话很恶
Not-- Your-your comment was gross,
不是说同性恋朋友 同性恋朋友都很棒
not-not gay peop-- Gay people are amazing.
你说的话有恐同的嫌疑
Your comment was-- had homophobic undertones.
你们得抓点紧了 我已经两杯下肚了
Yo, y'all need to catch up. I'm already two deep.
而且我车开得超稳
And I drove awesome.
好吧 所有门和窗户都上锁了
Okay, all the doors and windows are locked.
该来的还是要来
This is happening. This is happening.
我们都在这间凶杀小屋里
We are all here in the murder cabin.
凶杀小屋
Murder cabin!
凶杀小屋 干一杯
Murder cabin, let's go.
好了 大家伙
Okay, everybody! Guys!
下面是我们的安排 所有人 听好了
Here's what we got to do. Everybody, listen up.
今晚有几条规矩
There are rules for tonight.
快滚蛋吧
Get out of here!
妈... 大美女
Hey, Mom-- macita.
超级辣妹
Hot mama.
我看她这个周末真的很想跟我搞姬
God, I guess she really did want to lez out with me this weekend.
不是吧 -大家听我说 这非常重要
I don't know. - Okay, everybody, this is very important.
所有人都不能单独行动 尤其是你 梅丽莎
No one goes anywhere alone, especially you, Marisa.
还有 所有人都绝对不能到屋外去
And absolutely no one goes outside for any reason.
我要脱♥光♥光去外面泡澡了
Oh, we're getting naked in the hot tub.
太好了
Yes!
搞错没 现在凶手还没抓到
God, there's a murderer on the loose.
我不...
I don't...
你听见没
Did you hear that?
你得放轻松一点
You got to relax, man.
再吃一块布朗尼
Have another brownie.
不了
No.
我都吃了五块了 -五块
I had like five. - Five?
难怪你这么疑神疑鬼的
No wonder you're so paranoid.
布朗尼里加了大♥麻♥ -对
Are those pot brownies? - Yeah.
我从证物柜里偷了不少大♥麻♥
I stole a bunch of weed from the evidence locker.
蛋糕里差不多加了一斤的料 -一斤
There's about a pound in these bad boys. - A pound?
好吧 这么说现在大家都已经嗨翻了
Okay, so everyone's super high now.
该死的
Goddamn it.
等下 我怎么没啥感觉
Wait, how come I don't feel anything?
你的耐受性一定很高
You must have the tolerance of a horse.
你想卷一根来抽抽的话 我这还有一点
I have a little left if you want to roll a doobie.
这是什么
What is this?
这就是一包土吧
This is just dirt.
这也太细了吧
Look at all these twigs.
因为这是从地里长出来的
'Cause it's from the earth.
天呐 八十年代的大♥麻♥真是弱爆了
Man. '80s weed sucks.
我随便给你一颗这么大点的糖
Yeah, I could give you a gummy this big
里面含的大♥麻♥都是这个的一百多倍
that has 100 times more weed than this.
干嘛 -抱歉了
You're-- - Oh, sorry.
别糟蹋我的货 -不好意思
Fuck, my stash, dude. - Sorry.
你疯了吧 -好吧
You're crazy, man. - All right.
大伙
Hey, guys!
听见没
Guys!
我们回屋去吧
Let's go inside!
里面有披萨
Hey, guys, there's pizza inside!
披萨
Pizza?
披萨 披萨 披萨
Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza. Pizza.
好了 两位 够了
Okay, guys. All right.