绝对杀手（2023）

And Pam is your mom?
布莱克跟蒂芙尼是一对
Blake is with Tiffany.
他俩春季狂欢日就在一起了
They've been dating ever since Spring Fling.
不过我敢肯定他们经常互相劈腿
Although I'm pretty sure they cheat on each other a lot.
莫莉团的人都非常饥渴
That whole group's very horny.
不是吧 -说曹操曹操到 莫莉团
Oh, my God. - Yep. There they are, the Mollys.
她们四个就像穿着不同衣服的莫莉·林沃德
All four of them dressed like a different version of Molly Ringwald.
你终于满16了 姐妹
You made it, bitch.
好吧 我是来阻止谋杀案的
All right, well, I'm here to stop a murder,
那旧开始吧
so let's stop a murder.
派对挺炫啊 女士们
Dope party, ladies.
你在干什么
What are you doing?
知道怎么让这个派对变得更酷吗
You know what would make this party even cooler?
警♥察♥ 我们叫警♥察♥来吧
The police. Let's call 'em.
我超爱警♥察♥乐队的斯汀
I love Sting.
这主意挺不错的
You know, that's a really good idea.
他们可以唱《别站得离我太近》
And then they could play "Don't Stand So Close to Me."
多谢建议
Thank you.
知道吗 这些毒舌女的把戏真的很过时
You know, this whole mean girls shtick is really outdated.
女性应该互帮互助
Women should be lifting each other up.
你觉得这样行不行
How 'bout I lift these up
我用这个帮助你赶紧滚蛋
and you get bent?
笑一笑 为校刊合个影
All right, and smile for the yearbook, guys! Yeah!
不准拍照 杜巴沙奇
Hey, hey! No pictures, Douchebasage.
这里到处都是啤酒 你想害蒂芙尼被禁足一辈子吗
There's beer everywhere. You trying to get Tiff grounded for life?
你敢再拍一张 我就把你的相机摔烂
Yeah, take another one, I'll break your camera.
没必要这么凶吧
You don't have to be so harsh.
兰迪
Randy?
帮我个忙
Do me a favor?
你要干什么
Hey! Hey, what?
搞什么
What the fuck?
这是人能干出来的事吗
Is that... is that, like, a real person?
我刚还担心你忘记开门让我进来
I was worried you forgot to let me in.
现在看到你被欺负 我好受些了
Kind of relieved to see you were just being bullied.
你会成为一个很可悲的人
You will become a miserable person,
永远不知道什么是真正的快乐
never knowing true happiness
顶着一个不敢让人恭维的发型
and rocking an unflattering haircut
以至于你的脑袋看起来像一颗乒乓球
that makes your head look like a Ping-Pong ball.
这骂得
That was...
也太具体了
oddly specific.
不好意思 借过
Sorry. Sorry.
布莱克亲亲 布莱克 求你了 别这样
Blakey? Blakey, oh, please, please don't do this!
你怎么了
What happened?
某个多管闲事的人跟他打小报告说我跟艾迪·罗伊尔亲热过
Some loser narc told him I made out with Eddie Royal.
你跟艾迪·罗伊亲热过
You made out with Eddie Royal?
是的 -杀手本能的主唱
Yeah. - Lead singer of Killer Instinkt?
等下 他的歌♥传到加拿大去了
Wait, they have his music in Canada?
他红了
Is he famous?
艾迪
Eddie!
等下 蒂芙尼
Wait. Tiffany!
看上去他们又分手了 他们太狗血了
Looks like another breakup. Those two are so dramatic.
我需要喝一杯
I need a drink.
蒂芙尼 蒂芙尼 -天呐
Tiffany? Tiffany? - Oh, my God.
女士们 蒂芙尼现在很危险
Ladies, Tiffany is in a crisis.
你们要是她的好朋友 就应该整晚都陪在她身边
It's time to be good girlfriends and stay with her the whole night.
绝对不要离开她半步
Let's never leave her side.
兰迪
Randy.
来吧 我们走 -又来
Come on, let's go. - What?
这么厉害
What?
你是怎么做到的
How did you do that?
我妈教过我防身术
My mom taught me self-defense.
蒂芙尼 蒂芙尼
Tiffany? Tiffany?
艾迪 我早就该跟你在一起了
Oh, Eddie, I should've been with you this whole time.
很高兴洁米点醒了我
I'm so glad Jamie made me realize it.
在你♥爸♥妈的房♥里亲热会不会有点奇怪
Is it weird that we're in your parents' room?
我知道
I know.
但是我听到扎克·瑞绰瓦提和瓦莱丽·莫斯可
But I heard that Zack Ritrovatti and Valerie Mosco
又去我房♥间玩肛♥交♥了
are doing anal in my bedroom again.
再说了 我一直想试试在水床上做
Besides, I've always wanted to hook up on a waterbed.
等下
Wait.
我要尿尿
I have to pee.
喝太多酒了
Too many BJs.
希望你还有胃口吃点别的
Hopefully, there's room for one more.
好恶 我不玩口♥交♥
Oh. Ew. I don't do blow jobs.
那是尿尿的地方
You pee out of that thing.
别跑了
Don't go anywhere.
我马上就回来
I'll be right back.
摇滚巨星
Rock star.
那还搞毛
Fuck this.
蒂芙尼
Tiffany!
电量只有58%了 糟糕
58%. Shit.
蒂芙尼·克拉克
血染16岁花季
蒂芙尼被人发现横尸车♥库♥
Tiffany's body was found in the garage.
死亡时间 刚过午夜
Time of death: shortly after midnight.
你来自未来吗
Are you from the future?
是的 车♥库♥在哪
Yeah. Where's the garage?
谢谢
Thank you.
他一定会把这对美♥乳♥写进歌♥里的
He's gonna write a song about these.
艾迪
Eddie?
你是在和我玩躲猫猫吗
Are you hiding?
蒂芙尼
Tiffany?
蒂芙尼
Tiffany!
我会找到你的
'Cause I'll find you.
蒂芙尼
Tiffany!
你不是说你把门堵上了吗 -我堵了
You said you blocked the door. - I did.
慢着
Wait.
我可不追男生
I don't go after boys.
都是男生追我的
They come after me.
等下 蒂芙尼不是应该在这吗
Wait, Tiffany's supposed to be in here.
这里难道还要预约
There's a schedule?
我改变时空了
I changed it.
天呐 蒂芙尼在哪
God, where's Tiffany?
蒂芙尼
Tiffany?
快出来 艾迪
Come on out, Eddie.
床都暖好了
The water's warm.
这是什么鬼面具
What the fuck is that mask?
你想把面具摘下来吗
Are you gonna take it off?
如果你想跟我做♥爱♥ 那就必须得摘下来
Um, if you want to have sex with me, then, yeah, you will.
好吧 我没有这种奇怪的癖好
Okay, I'm not into this weird shit.
艾迪 你到底要干什么
Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?
搞什么
What the fuck?
父母卧室
禁止入内
蒂芙尼 蒂芙尼
Tiffany? Tiffany?
蒂芙尼
Tiffany!
你不准进去...
You're not allowed in...
不能让他逃走
He can't get away!
是蒂芙尼
That's Tiffany.
布莱克·休斯 你还真是走到哪麻烦就跟到哪
Wherever there's trouble, there's Blake Hughes.
别烦我了 丹尼斯
Give me a break here, Dennis.
我已经把知道的都告诉庞奇了
I already told Ponch what I know.
这个人怎么处理 要带他回去问话吗
What about this one? Want to bring him in for questioning?
不用了 让他走
No, let him go.
他是我女儿的朋友
He's a friend of my daughter's.
谢谢老爸
Thanks, Daddy.
不客气 亲爱的
Welcome, sweetheart.
瞧瞧这是谁啊
Well, look who it is.
我们从加拿大来的新朋友
Our new Canadian friend.
你本可以阻止这一切的
You could've stopped this.
我提醒过你们
I tried to warn you.
案发时你在哪
And where were you when it happened?
你觉得我是嫌犯