优步危机

"Get down."
太含糊了
That's too vague.
然后我们就
"So, we can...
负距离接触
"achieve penetration."
这也不对
Nope, that's not it.
难道你不要什么搜查证之类的吗
Don't you need a warrant or some shit?
你觉得我在开玩笑嘛
You think I'm playing games?
跟你的高级大电视说拜拜吧
I guess you won't miss your big, fancy TV then.
哥们 那是鱼缸
Dude, that's a fish tank.
那是微波炉 伙计
That's the microwave, homes.
什么鬼 你们几个就坐在这
What the hell? You guys just sit around...
看一整天钓鱼吗 怎么回事
and watch fish all day? How's that?
我给你们五秒钟
And, I'm gonna give you five seconds
告诉我阿莫·科尔特兹在哪
to tell me where Amo Cortez is!
所以我们能 就是这样
"So, we can... Yeah. That's it.
大家那样说的 我想上你
People say that. I wanna fuck you.
不 所以我们能
No. "So, we can..."
做我们决定的事情 不错不错
"do the thing that we had decided upon." That's good, that's good.
发送
Sent.
天呢 我都做了什么
God, what have I done?
咬他 皮科
Attack, Pico!
他怎么了
What's wrong with him?
你们这帮混♥蛋♥
You assholes.
你们喂了它多少
How much you feed him?
我问你喂它吃了多少
I said how much you feed him?
喜不喜欢这样 无赖
How do you like that, tough guy?
尝起来怎么样 味道不错吧
How does that taste? Taste good?
喜欢吗 混♥蛋♥
How do you like that, asshole?
我再问你们一遍
Now, I'm gonna ask you one more time!
阿莫·科尔特兹在哪
Where's Amo Cortez?
你好 阿莫
Hello, Amo.
操你们这些家伙
Fuck you guys, man!
这不是船的尺寸 这是
"It's not the size of the boat, it's the motion..."
这他妈是违法的 哥们
Yo, this illegal as fuck, man!
你不能就这样进我妈妈的房♥子
You can't just walk in my momma's house like this!
提奥 帮帮我 真是狗屎
Tio, do something, man! This is bullshit.
警♥察♥对我使用暴♥力♥了
Police brutality in here!
小心那该死的车
Shit! Watch out for the fucking car, man. Hey, hey.
去你♥妈♥的♥ 伙计 我有我的权力
Fuck you, homie! I got fucking rights!
不 去你的伙计
No. Fuck you, homie!
除非你坦白否则你会被判5年监禁
You're looking at five years for possession Unless you wanna talk.
-维克 -别问 看着他 我一会就回来
- Uh, Vic? - No? Watch him. I'll be back.
都是扯淡
This is bullshit, man!
别别别 维克 维克 别这样
No. No, no. Vic. Vic. No, no, no.
你不能就这样把他扔在我车里
Hey, hey, hey. You cannot just leave him in my car.
我坚决拒绝
This is a hard no for me.
-这是优步拼车 对吧 -不 不是
- This is an UberPool, right? - No, it's not an UberPool!
优步Pool:优步的多人拼车服务
别搞得好像你很了解优步拼车一样
Don't act like you know what UberPool is, okay?
你今天早上才知道的
You learned that earlier today.
-这样 拿着它 - 我不会碰的
- Here, take this. - Oh, no, I am not touching that.
他能帮我解决一个我查了很多年的案子
He can help me crack a case I've been working on for years!
-他被拷住了被锁在车里 -我不干
- He's handcuffed. He's locked in a car. - I'm not doing it.
-保险栓开着呢 指着他就行了 -不
- The safety's on. Just point it at him. - No.
别让他知道你是个平民
Don't let him smell you're a civilian.
两分钟 我给你五星
Two minutes. You get your five stars...
你就可以自♥由♥的去看你的女朋友
and you're free to go see your girl, man.
告诉她你如何帮助了一个需要帮助的警♥察♥
And you get to tell her how you helped an officer in need.
史蒂夫 这是你的沙漠之夜
Steve, This is your night in the desert.
我叫斯图
My name is Stu.
混♥蛋♥ 你给狗狗喂了几包
Hey, asshole! How many bags did you feed the dog?
我不知道 哥们 我没查
I don't know, man. I lost count.
怎样
What?
没事
We good.
你还好吗 老兄
You okay, buddy? You okay?
斯图听候您的吩咐
请给我五星好评
这是优步吗
Is this an Uber?
去他的吧 我要离开这
Man, fuck this! I'm out of here.
这不是什么优步
This ain't no Uber.
我是便衣 我可是个坏警♥察♥ 小女孩
I'm undercover. And I'm the bad cop, you little girl.
-开门 -我搭档可能看起来吓人
- Open this door! - My partner may look scary...
但我是披着羊皮的狼
but I'm the wolf in sheep's clothing.
-什么 -警局的人都叫我狼
What? Back at the precinct they call me "Wolf".
停下来 你为什么笑
Stop that! Why are you laughing?
停下 别笑了 我是警♥察♥ 我是真的
Stop! Stop that! Stop laughing! I'm a cop! I'm being for real!
-去你的吧 你根本不是警♥察♥ -我是警♥察♥
- Fuck you! You ain't no cop! - I am a cop!
我带你去市区
I'll take you downtown!
停下来 你会进监狱的
Stop that! You're gonna go to jail!
我他妈的会给你预定的
I'll fucking book you, man!
停下 别踢了
Please, please! Stop it! Stop kicking!
妈的 你敢打我 你♥他♥妈♥的开枪打我
Oh, shit! How dare you! You fucking shot me!
-你射我 你♥他♥妈♥都干了啥
- You shot me, man! - What the hell did you do?
-你说保险栓开着呢 -的确
- You said the safety was on! - It was!
天呢 他在流血 我杀了他
Oh, my God! He's bleeding out! I killed him!
你的腿中枪了
You got shot in the leg.
干得好 牵着皮科
Good for you. Take Pico.
滚蛋 把你的屁♥股♥坐回车里
Hey, asshole, get your ass back in that car.
阿莫 跟我说说特乔的交易
Hey, Amo. Talk to me. Tedjo deal.
特乔的交易 你知道些什么
Hey. The Tedjo deal, what do you know?
-正在执行 -什么时候
- It's going down. - When?
今晚
Tonight!
-在哪 -在
- Where? - At the...
-在 -别晕过去
- At the... - Don't you pass out.
妈的 他晕过去了
God damn it. He passed out.
行吧 我们得把这个家伙送到医院
All right, we gotta get this guy to the hospital.
这狗我该怎么办
What should I do with this dog?
科尔特兹先生 我想让你知道我真的很抱歉
Mr. Cortez, I want you to know I'm really sorry!
他听不到的 他在休克
He can't hear you. He's in shock.
你 你要纸巾吗 泰迪熊
Are you... You need a tissue? Teddy bear?
你想让我去拿后备箱里的东西吗
You got a blanky in the trunk you want me to grab?
我现在真的不知所措
I'm really overwhelmed right now.
眼泪只是本能反应
Tears are a natural response
对于我现在承受的巨大压力来说
to the immense pressure I'm currently experiencing.
是的 很正常
Yeah, sure. Naturally.
每个人都会哭 这对你有好处
Everyone cries. It's good for you.
我不哭 皮科也不哭
I don't cry. Pico doesn't cry.
你小的时候会哭
You cried when you were a baby.
不 从来不哭
Nope. Never.
-你记不得了 -我记得我的出生
- You don't remember that. - I remember my birth.
你把作案工具扔了
Oh, you're getting rid of the murder weapon!
把塞普尔韦达带到克伦肖
Take Sepulveda over to Crenshaw.
那有家医院
There's a hospital there.
医院
Okay, okay. Hospital.
太好了 这是医院
Good. It's a hospital. Okay.
快来 起来帮我
Come on! Get your ass over here and help me!
-你说的医院 -这是一家医院
- You said hospital! - This is a hospital.
-这是一家动物医院 -他是一只动物啊
- It's a animal hospital! - He's an animal.
贝维尤
动物医院
我们要给他检查犬恶丝虫
Oh, yeah, we'll check him for heartworms!
-抓住他的腿 -对不起
- Get his leg. - Sorry.
对不起 没事 抱歉
Sorry, sorry! All right, sorry.
-你好 维克托 -你好 医生
- Hello, Victor. - Hey, doc.
深呼吸 好吗 你什么都没做错
Take a deep breath, all right? You didn't do anything wrong.
我开枪打了人 我要去坐牢了
I shot a guy. I'm gonna go to jail.
我就是警♥察♥
I'm the guy who would arrest you for that,
但我不会逮捕你
and I'm not gonna arrest you.
那个混♥蛋♥卖♥♥海♥洛♥因♥ 连小孩都不放过
That scumbag over there sells heroin to kids.
坐下
Now sit down.
-他还好吗 -他很好
- Is he okay? - He's fine.
只是轻微的组织损伤
Just some mild tissue damage.
-狗子怎么样 -它没什么事
- Pooch okay? - He's good.