优步危机

then I'm gonna make it as easy on you as possible.
好
Okay.
这个是优步
This is Uber.
-是 我知道优步是什么 -好
- Yes, I know what Uber is. - Okay.
那么你知道怎样去你女儿的艺术展
Then you know how to get to your daughter's art show...
你一定记得艺术展在今晚
that you definitely remembered was tonight.
好 你需要设个密♥码♥ 那么
Okay, you're gonna need a password, so...
-我的生日 怎么样 -你的生日
- My birthday, how about that? - Your birthday.
这是个不错的测试
That's a good test.
行 你有好看的自♥拍♥照吗
Okay. Do you have any good selfies?
你需要一张照片
You're gonna need a picture.
我不知道
I don't know.
都是好酷的照片 爸
Wow. Cool pics, Dad.
好吧 看我
Okay, look at me.
很好 还给你
Great. Here you go.
-我说 -什么
- Hey. - What?
我很期待去看今晚的展览
I can't wait for tonight.
角上已有跑者
With runners at the corners
现在比分是一比一
and a one-one count,
无人出局
nobody out.
投手
The pitch...
投球
for a ball.
我得说
I gotta tell you,
洛杉矶队现在让自己
Los Angeles is now putting themselves...
在季后赛中
in the mix for the playoff hunt.
他们已经得到了第三个最低
They've got the third lowest...
-什么事 -就在今晚
- Yeah. - It's tonight.
货会送来 百分之百确定
The drop is going down, man. Hundred-fucking-percent.
里昂 谁的货
Leon, whose drop?
特乔
Tedjo.
-特乔 -对 他回来了
- Tedjo? - Yeah, he's back.
老兄 量挺大
Yo, man, this is big.
你确定
Are you fucking sure?
300公斤 可能更多
300 keys. Maybe even more.
这是你要的线报 对吗 维克
That's your fucking intel, all right, Vic?
干得好 伙计
Oh, you done good, buddy.
干得好 你在哪里
You done good. Where are you?
韩国城
Koreatown.
科尔多瓦和佛蒙特州
Cordova and Vermont.
特乔在哪里交易
Where's Tedjo making the drop?
里昂
Leon?
里昂 该死
Leon! Fuck!
该死
Fuck!
你做得到的
You got this.
让开
Out of the way!
混♥蛋♥ 让开
Hey, asshole! Move it!
真♥他♥妈♥的见鬼
God damn it!
靠 该死
Oh, fuck! Shit!
老天啊
Oh, Jesus Christ!
对不起
Sorry!
我会赔的
I'll pay for that!
你可以去健身 没有男人色眯眯盯着你
So you can work out without having men ogle you.
只有你和你朋友
Just you and your gal pals,
听希亚的 去练个好身材吧
listening to Sia, getting your beach bods.
让开
Out of the way!
让开
Get out of the way!
-你还好吗 -不 我不好
- Are you okay? - No, I'm not!
-让开 我是警♥察♥ -停 停下
- Move it! I'm a cop! - Stop! Stop!
他妈的把路让开
Get all of this shit out of the road!
好 好的 我看到推土机了
Yeah, yeah, I see the bulldozer!
停下
Stop!
见鬼 真见鬼
God damn it! God damn it!
你还好吗
You okay, man?
你们这些混♥蛋♥挖坑有批准吗
You assholes got a permit for this hole?
啥
What?
新评价
来自多丽丝
我原以为这些人
的客户服务会好些
"这些人"
"These people"?
0.3米
有新乘客
接单
上帝啊
Jesus Christ.
这次请是个五星好评
Please be a five-star ride.
前方左车道关闭
喂
Hey!
-优步吗 -对
- Uber? - Yeah.
天啊
Oh, my God.
好 冷静点 友好点 笑 微笑
Okay. Be cool. Be nice. Smile. Smile.
-优步吗 -对
- Uber? - Yeah.
你好
Hey.
我猜你想让我载你去找
Let me guess, you want me to drive you
城里所有的萨拉·康纳
to all the Sarah Connors in the city, huh?
Sarah Connor《终结者》里机器人追杀的主要人物之一
快发动车 我们走
Come on. Start it up. Let's go.
已经启动了
Oh, it's already started.
电动汽车
Electric car.
我称之为"沉默但致命的"
I call it "silent but deadly."
就像个闷屁 但这是辆好车
Kind of like a fart, but instead it's a great car.
开车
Drive.
我是斯图 你好吗
I'm Stu. How do you do?
你想喝水吗
Can I get you some bottled water?
来点加拿大巧克力
Some Canadian chocolates?
就是些我以为能让我
It was one of those things where I
在亚马逊拿到五星好评
thought I was getting five bars on Amazon,
-结果却得了五颗灰星 -韩国城 快
- but I ended up getting five... - Koreatown. Now.
韩国城
Koreatown.
马上出发
Now.
等等 我要在这里调个头 很快的
Hold on. I'm gonna bang a U-ey here real quick.
没 还没转过来 等等
Nope. Don't got it. Hold on.
谢谢 谢谢你
Thank you, thank you.
还是没转过来
Oh. Didn't quite make it.
-等一下 -快走
- Just a second. - Let's go!
看起来有人把车开进沟里了
Looks like someone drove their car into a ditch.
他们应该在那里放块标识牌
They should put a sign up.
如果他们没看见沟
Well, if they didn't see the ditch,
他们也看不见标识
they're not gonna see the sign.
在转一点点就可以了
Just a couple more points and we got it.
洛杉矶又是破纪录的一天
Another record-setting day
是自1911年以来最热的一天
in Los Angeles. Hottest day since 1911.
注意安全 伙计们 这太疯狂了
Stay safe, folks. This is Madness!
你喜欢哪种音乐
What kind of music do you like?
我的iPod里全是歌♥
I got a fully-loaded iPod.
我有说唱 嘻哈 节奏布鲁斯
I got rap, hip-hop, R&B,
成人时代 世界音乐
adult-contempo... world music.
你说一首 我肯定有 要不我们试试
Name a thing, I bet I have it. Let's play a game.
眼镜很酷
Cool glasses, man.
怎么 你一会要去看壁球比赛吗
What, are you going to a racquetball game later?
我看不了
I can't see.
天啊 你是瞎子
Oh, my God. You're blind?
对不起
I am so sorry.
我之前不知道
I didn't know it was like that.
我的眼睛会好的
It'll come back.
说得好 就是这样
That's the spirit.
你刚把眼镜扔出去了
Did you just throw those out the window?
我知道了 你喜欢经典摇滚
I know. Classic rock.
锻炼时听的歌♥
Music to work out to, my man.
冥河乐队的 这是哪首歌♥
Styx. What's that song?
♪ 我将远航 ♪
♪ I'm sailing away ♪
《去远航》
"Come Sail Away."
就是这首歌♥
That is the song
《去远航》
"Come Sail Away."
通常不想聊天的人
You know, generally people
一般都坐后排
who don't want conversation hop in the back.