星条红与皇室蓝（2023）

Hey, you and mom taught me to question authority.
可你现在也是精英 特权阶层 还住在宫殿里
Meanwhile, you're now elite and privileged and live in a palace.
你妈妈就是权威的代名词
And your mom is the epitome of authority.
人生真是奇妙啊
It's funny how life works.
不过 说到你妈妈这位权威
Although, speaking of your mom's authority,
可别告诉她我抽烟了
don't tell her I was smoking.
祝您愉快 -谢谢 你也是
Have a nice day. - Thanks. You, too.
亚历克斯
Alex.
米格尔 你好啊
Hey, Miguel. What's up?
大公子竟然光临这里
ACD, slumming it in Shaw.
有空吗
Got a minute?
有 聊聊呗
Yeah, I could hang.
你这周末的补救措施做得不错
Nice damage control this weekend.
我都不知道你跟那王子是好朋友
I had no idea you and the prince were such good friends.
是啊 我也没想到
Yeah, well, neither did I.
你介意我换上记者的帽子 采访你几句吗
Hey, you mind if I put my journalist hat on for a sec?
除非你真的戴上那种记者帽
Only if you actually have one of those journalist hats
就老电影里的那种
like they do in the old movies.
我改天一定戴给你看
Promise I'll wear it for you sometime.
共和党提名理查兹参选
Is your mother's campaign nervous
对此你母亲的竞选团队会感到紧张吗
the Republicans are gonna nominate Richards?
唯一能让我们感到紧张的共和党就是林肯
The only Republican who makes us nervous is Abraham Lincoln,
但他应该没法竞选了
and I doubt he's running.
你看 所以我才要采访你
You see? This is why I ask you these things:
你总能金句频出
because you give me quotes like that.
你得让我引用这句 -没门 米格尔
You have to let me use it. - Not a chance, Miguel.
你老是吊我胃口
You are such a tease.
我只说消息来自"总统的亲信"行不
How about "Sources close to the president"?
还是算了吧
I'm gonna pass.
好吧 我尽力了
Bueno, lo intenté.
我们有空再聚聚吧
Teoría hablamos pronto.
当然了 是非正式的那种
Off the record, of course.
我们好久没聚了
Hace mucho, ¿no?
确实 那个
Yeah, well...
最近学业繁忙
La escuela es algo oscuro...
是啊 你总是全力以赴
Yeah, you're always running at full speed.
这就是你的迷人之处
Look that's encantador.
还有你的睫毛
Esos las pestañas.
我该走了
I should get going.
很高兴见到你 米格尔 -我也是 亚历克斯
Qué bueno verte, Miguel. - Lo mismo, Alex.
你拍照总是把右手放口袋里
是在撸管吗
对了 我是亨利
你从哪里搞到我的号♥码的
军情六处
没骗你
笨蛋王子殿下
亨利王子的秘密海滩约会
你有好多痣 是因为近亲结婚吗
笨蛋王子殿下
亚历克斯·克莱蒙特-迪亚兹要当爹了吗
什么鬼
What?
可我们明明很小心啊宝贝
不好意思
Sorry.
亨利王子回忆录
我讨厌你在《时尚》杂♥志♥系的领带
I hate the tie you're wearing in Vogue.
太无趣了 难道你对颜色有什么意见吗
It's so boring. What do you have against color anyway?
灰色也是一种颜色 谢谢
Gray is a color, thank you.
我刚收到一包你妈妈上次竞选的文化衫
I just received a parcel of your mum's old campaign T-shirts.
这是你搞的恶作剧吗
Is this your idea of a prank?
下个包裹里会装满丁字裤
The next box is full of thongs.
我初读扎迪·史密斯时才十几岁
I first read Zadie Smith as a teenager.
你一定要读读詹姆斯·鲍德温的《另一个国家》
You absolutely have to read Another Country by James Baldwin.
《道林·格雷的画像》
The Picture of Dorian Gray.
《霍乱时期的爱情》
And Love in the Time of Cholera.
人人都爱看的兄弟情
《包法利夫人》
Also Madame Bovary.
我给你寄一本
I'm sending you a copy.
这是人们不了解拜伦诗歌♥的地方
That's the thing that people don't understand about Byron's poetry.
他凭一己之力
H-He was single-handedly
缔造了过去两个世纪内的
responsible for every romance ever written
每一场浪漫史诗
in the last two centuries.
他自己的人生故事就更别提了
And that's not even considering his personal life.
今晚接下来的时间 我要屏蔽你
I'm blocking you for the rest of the night.
绣口一吐就是整个伦敦
He had London under his spell.
我的天 兄弟 你干嘛呢
Good God, man, what have you done?
美国有个传统
So, there's this American tradition
总统要在感恩节前夕赦免一只火鸡
where the president pardons a turkey before Thanksgiving.
我不理解
I don't understand.
先被定罪 然后才能被赦免 不是吗
Don't you have to commit a crime to be pardoned?
不要纠结细节
Don't look too closely at it.
我发现他们要让这只火鸡在典礼前夜
I found out that they keep the turkey in a luxury hotel suite
住豪华酒店套房♥
the night before the ceremony.
你说天底下还能有比这更浪费的事情吗
I mean, can you think of anything more wasteful?
可能是咱俩这通电♥话♥吧
Oh, perhaps this conversation.
总而言之
Anyway,
我说服我妈妈的员工把它留在白宫
I convinced my mother's staff to keep it at the White House,
结果他们把这小东西放在了我房♥间
and they put the little asshole in my room.
你要是照顾不好就别管妈咪要宠物
Don't ask mummy for a pet if you can't take care of it.
为什么你还醒着
Why are you awake?
因为某些屌♥人在凌晨三点找我聊火鸡
Because some bellend decided to call me at 3:00 a.m. to talk turkey.
屌♥人是什么意思
What's a bellend?
自己查
Look it up.
而且我是骨灰级失眠患者
I'm also a world-class insomniac.
我在床上跟狗看《英国家庭烘焙大赛》
I'm in bed with my dog watching Bake Off.
我没想到皇室成员也会看电视
It never occurred to me that the royal family watches television.
我们还会共用同一个密♥码♥
Well, we all share the same password.
你比我想象中更像人类
You're more of a human than I thought.
谢谢你啊 亚历克斯
Wow, thank you, Alex.
真会拍马屁
That is so flattering.
不 我的意思是你看着一点都不像是
No, I just mean you don't seem like the kind of person
会给狗起名"大卫"的人
that would name their dog David.
他是根据大卫·鲍伊命名的
Well, he's named after Bowie.
等等 你认真的吗
Wait, seriously?
听起来酷多了 那为什么不直接叫鲍伊
That's way cooler. Why not just call him Bowie, then?
你不觉得这有点太明显了吗
It's a bit on the nose, don't you think?
我有让你感到惊讶的时候吗
Have I surprised you in any way?
没有
Nope.
你和我想象中的一样无可救药
You are just as ghastly as I imagined.
我要挂电♥话♥了 -不 是我要挂你电♥话♥了
I'm hanging up now. - No, I'm hanging up on you.
行吧
Fine.
随你便
Have it your way.
挂断是那个红色的大按钮
That's what the big red button is for.
晚安
Good night.
到底有没有人看过我写的得州竞选策略
Has anyone on the campaign actually read my Texas strategy memo?
什么得州竞选策略
What Texas strategy memo?
看来是没有
I think I have my answer.
亚历克斯 我现在真的没空 我有成堆的工作
Alex, this isn't a really good time. I have a ton of work.
你就不能...好吧 您自便
Can you just-- Yeah, just make yourself at home, kid.
事情是这样的
Okay, here's the deal.
我写了十四页的备忘录
I wrote a 14-page memo
详细讨论了明年的选举我们要怎么赢下得州
detailing how we can win in Texas next year.
我花了几周时间写的
I spent weeks working on it.
我觉得是值得一看的可行计划
I think it's a viable plan that you should take seriously.
三周前我发到了竞选团队高级成员的邮箱
I emailed it to senior campaign staff three weeks ago,
然后从此石沉大海
and I've heard nada.
有人让你写这个吗
Did anyone ask you to write this memo?
没有 我主动做的 -没错
No, I took the initiative. - Yeah.
说到竞选团队成员讨厌的事
If there's one thing people on campaigns hate,
一定就是候选人家属主动搞事
it's when the candidate's family takes initiative.
扎拉 里面有很多不错的想法
Zahra, there are good ideas in here.
我是诚心帮忙
I really want to help.
你帮到忙了
You do help.
你真的很有用
You are genuinely useful.
是啊 也就是拍拍照片
Yeah, for, like, photo ops and
新年派对这类无关痛痒的事
New Year's parties and stupid shit like that.
但我能做的不止这些
But I can be doing so much more.
求你看一下我的备忘录吧