老爹们（2023）

老天啊 我想那就是他
Holy shit. I think that's him.
谁?
Who?
艾德·卡梅隆 - 不是吧
Ed Cameron. - Nuh-uh.
你在开玩笑吗?
You fucking kidding me? - No.
你要去哪里?回来
Where you goin'? Get back in the car.
你好
Hi.
你好吗?
How you doing?
不好意思 那个犰狳是你的吗?
Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry. Was that your armadillo?
现在是了
It is now.
来自高速公路的馈赠
The highway provides. - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
等等!
也许这问题有点突兀
This, uh, might seem like a weird question,
但你会不会是艾德·卡梅隆?
but you wouldn't happen to be Ed Cameron, are you?
你是谁?
Who's askin'?
杰克·凯利
Oh. Jack Kelly.
我们专程过来跟你谈谈
Uh, we were just coming up here to talk to you.
你们不会是一群死基佬吧?
You ain't a bunch of fags, are you?
嘿 卡拉
Hey, Cara.
对 - 嘿
Yeah. - Hey.
不好意思 再见乔安娜 - 一会儿再说 亲爱的 我们走了
Sorry. Bye, Joanna. - I'll catch you later. Sweetie, let's go.
我就在想今天能不能碰见你呢
I was hoping I was gonna run into you today.
第二孕期感觉怎么样?
How's the second trimester?
比怀奈特的时候要辛苦一些
You know? It's harder than it was with Nate.
是吗?我看出来了 你看着脸色不太好
You know what? I could tell. You're looking a little peaked.
你还锻炼吗?
You still working out?
是的
Yeah.
我是想跟你聊聊 布兰妮的宝宝派对的事
Uh, I was gonna talk to you about Britney's baby shower.
我在想我们可以...
And I was thinking we should-- Oh!
科林 你小心点 莉亚阿姨怀着宝宝呢
Hey, Colin. You have to be careful, okay? Auntie Leah's got a baby in here.
你好啊 宝宝!
Hi, baby!
科林!你不能这么做 明白吗?
Colin! You are not allowed to do that, do you understand me?
他确实精力有点旺盛
Hey, hey! He's got a little extra energy.
但这不意味着你可以吼我的孩子
That doesn't give you the right to scream at my child.
我只是在保护我自己
I was just trying to protect myself.
他只有五岁 他什么都不懂
He's five years old. He doesn't know any better.
不懂不应该教他吗?
Don't you think he should?
你的意思是我是个糟糕的母亲?
Are you calling me a bad mother?
你可以说成 我觉得你的教育方式很特别
You could say I think your parenting techniques are interesting.
在家分娩 不是无痛 4%的体脂率
Home birth, no epidural, 4% body fat.
货真价实的成果说明一切
The proof is in the pudding.
也许你吃点货真价实的东西
Maybe if you occasionally ate some of that pudding,
就不会有这么没料的奶♥子♥了
you wouldn't have sweat your tits off.
没错
Yeah.
我等不及要看阿斯彭 恭喜我们找到那个疯子
I cannot wait to see the look on Aspen's face
之后脸上的表情了
when he congratulates us for landing that fucking lunatic.
那老混♥蛋♥会把虱子传染给我们的
Fucker's gonna give us all bedbugs.
嘿 特拉维斯 - 哟
Hey, Travis. - Yo.
都已经做成T恤了?
Holy shit. They already got him on a T-shirt?
这是打样的版本 但超赞的有没有?
Yeah. It's the prototype, but it's pretty fucking sick, right?
昨晚阿斯彭去参加了一个死藤水仪式
So, last night, Aspen goes to this ayahuasca ceremony,
萌生出了一个超有才的想法
and he gets this, like, crazy vision.
梗图 T恤 非同质化代币
Memes, T-shirts, NFTs.
你说的我一个都不懂
I don't know what any of that means.
那家伙绝对是个天才 这次的项目一定会大火
I mean, dude's a crazy fucking genius. This campaign is gonna be fire.
你相信就好
If you say so.
抱歉我迟到了
Hey, sorry I'm late.
康纳 你看 他们已经把那家伙做到T恤上了
Hey, Connor. You see they already got this guy on a T-shirt?
难以置信
Unbelievable.
你坐那么远干什么? - 我想坐哪里就坐哪里
What are you doin' way over there? - I can sit wherever I want.
你干嘛不看我? - 不行吗?
There a reason you're not looking at me? - I don't know. Is there?
先生们
Gentlemen.
你们做到了 干得真不错 真的
You did it. You guys crushed it. You really did.
我现在明白 为什么这个公♥司♥能存活23年了
I mean, I understand now why this company has been alive for 23 years.
是啊 这些老狗还有些东西在身上的
Yeah, well, guess these old dogs had a little more bite left in 'em
比你想象的多
than you thought.
对
Yeah.
我们还是要谈谈那辆租来的车
We're gonna have to talk about the rental car though.
就保险杠刮蹭了一下 我们有保险的
Ah, just a scratched bumper. We have insurance.
车有保险 但这个没有
We have insurance for the car. We don't have insurance for this.
嘿 问你一个问题 凯特琳·詹纳还留着布鲁斯的屌♥吗?
Hey, let me ask you a question. Did Caitlyn Jenner keep Bruce's dick?
放在罐子里吗? - 这从哪儿弄来的?
Like in a jar? - Where'd you get this?
不是 她还长着呢
No, like, she still has it.
是说凯特琳有奶♥子♥也有屌♥ 所以才称呼为“他们”吗?
Like, Caitlyn has tits and a dick, and is that why you say "they"?
我明白你的意思 - 我不是说我会干凯特琳
I get what you're saying. - Look, I'm not saying I'd bang Caitlyn.
但那绝对是一起看比赛的最佳人选了
But, I mean, tell me that's not a better person to watch a game with.
那可是布鲁斯·詹纳啊
That's fucking Bruce Jenner.
我在想 每隔四年 当夏季奥♥运♥会开始的时候
I wonder, like, every four years when the Summer Olympics come up,
谁会是第一个给凯特琳打电♥话♥说
who's the first one to call Caitlyn and be like,
“今天想看十项运动比赛吗?”
"You wanna watch the decathlon today?" - Yeah.
我为你们所有人的妻子感到万分抱歉
I feel super fucking bad for all your wives.
特拉维斯 你结过婚吗?
Let me ask you something, Travis. You ever been married?
没有 - 所以说嘛
No, I haven't. - Well, there you go.
你怎么不跟海军陆战队 说说打仗是什么感觉?
Why don't you go up to a Marine now and tell him what it's like in battle?
是你架的相机吗?你这个该死的探子
Did you set that camera up? You fucking snitch.
不是我
Whoa. No, no, no, no, no, no.
小特跟这个无关好吗? 这是租车公♥司♥给我们的
Trav had nothing to do with this, okay? This came from the rental car company.
他们发给我们 想交换我们用户的个人信息
They sent it to us in exchange for all of our users' personal information.
你在开玩笑吗?
Are you fucking kidding me?
现在是信息经济了
It's an information economy.
出于免责和安全考虑 他们会录下一切
They, uh, record everything for liability and safety, apparently.
嗯 当我看了这个...我无能为力了
Well, you know, once I saw it... Guys, my hands are tied.
得解放你们了
Gonna have to liberate you.
“解放”我们? 他是要为了这点破事炒了我们吗?
"Liberate" us? Is he firing us over that bullshit?
就是一群男人在车里扯扯淡
It's a bunch of guys shootin' the shit in a car.
那不可能是合法的
There's no way that's fucking legal.
在新墨西哥州实际上是的
It is, actually, in New Mexico.
好吧 那我们终止协议 你还是得给我们钱
Okay, fine, so we're terminated. You still gotta pay us.
实际上呢 我们不需要
Actually, we don't.
因为你们的行为 违反了合同中的道德条款
Because your behavior violated the terms of your morality clause in your contract.
道德条款?
Morality clause?
他在说什么?
What... what's he talkin' about?
所以 你们所有的股权都被清算了
So all of your equity has been liquidated,
汇入到一般基金里了
and it's been returned to the general fund.
搞什么?
What the fuck?
你们得马上离开这里 如果你们不介意的话
You have to leave the premises immediately if you don't mind.
走吧 - 看啊 抄罚单的来了
Let's go. - Look. The meter maids are back, huh?
你们就躲在这些人背后 帮他们干这些脏活?
You hide behind these guys? Do all your dirty work?
对 他们很优秀
Yeah, they're good guys.
真♥他♥妈♥的难以置信
Un-fuckin'-believable.
百十来斤的大怂逼一个
120 pounds soakin' wet.
哇!
You fucking piece of shit. - Wow!
行了 真不错 老兄
Come on. - Real nice, man.
特拉维斯 你能弄一下吗? - 好的
Travis, can you get that? - Yeah.
好激烈啊 对吧?
Yikes, right?
你也是 特拉维斯
You too, though, Travis. You too.
什么?
What?
我没有附和也没有纵容他们啊
I didn't condone anything that was goin' on in the car.
我只是口头...
I was being vocally--
什么鬼的...
♪ And shit ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah... ♪
那是我家吗? - 对
Is that my apartment? - Yeah.
♪ Yeah... ♪
你为什么会有这个 阿斯彭?
Why... why do you have this, Aspen?
你家电视带摄像头的 你说我为什么会有
You got a TV with a camera. Things could happen.
黄金链子
♪ Gold all in my chain ♪
黄金戒指
♪ Gold all in my ring ♪
黄金手表
♪ Gold all in my watch ♪
别信我 看好了 黑鬼
♪ Don't believe me, just watch Nigga, nigga, nigga ♪
别信我 看好了 黑鬼...
♪ Don't believe me, just watch ♪
♪ Don't believe me, just watch Nigga, nigga, nigga... ♪
贾斯汀 - 拜托 老兄!
Justin. - Come on, man!
阿斯彭 别这样 我就是有点兴奋了
Oh, Aspen, come on, man. I was getting hyped, dude.