老爹们（2023）

卡拉
Cara.
别这么惊讶
Don't look so surprised.
布兰妮和我关系很好的
Britney and I are actually incredibly close.
虽然不是那种每天都聊天增加感情
It's not like that kind of thing where we have to talk every day to reinforce it.
哦 当然了
Right. Uh, sure.
我很抱歉我说你不会教孩子了
Um, listen, I'm really sorry that I criticized your parenting.
我太越界了 所以我们能翻篇了吗?
That was a total overstep. - Hmm. So, uh, you know, can we just move on?
我已经翻篇了 我以为你也是
Oh, I did already. I assumed you had too.
我刚翻了
I just did.
快进来 因为布兰妮真的很需要我们
Well, come in, come in because Britney really needs us.
好吧
Right.
哦不!
Oh no!
不能再下注了 - 嘿 他在这儿呢
No more bets. - Hey, there he is.
悠着点老大 现在是什么情况?
Easy, big fella. What are we doing here?
唐尼 给我换五千块
Donnie, change me out for five grand.
别 你在干什么?
Oh, no, no, no, no. No. What are you doing? What are you doing?
没事的 这把肯定赢
It's okay. I'm due.
迈克 你这辈子 就赌博过多少 四次吧?
Mike, you've gambled, like, four times in your life, okay?
你♥他♥妈♥的怎么能赢?
How the fuck are you due?
好吧 杰克
All right, Jack.
我是个保守的人
I'm a conservative man.
我开四门轿车 有七个安全气囊
I drive a four-door sedan with seven airbags.
我结扎了 但你猜怎么回事?
I got a vasectomy. Guess what?
她还是怀孕了
She got pregnant anyway.
然后我丢了工作 公♥司♥和退休金
Then I lost my job, my company, my retirement,
都是因为我决定履行我的言论自♥由♥
all because I decided to exercise free speech
在他妈的一辆租来的车后座上!
in the back of a goddamn rental car!
所以没错 杰克 我觉得我他妈的就要赢了!
So, yeah, Jack. I think I'm fucking due!
好的 抱歉
Okay, okay. Sorry.
但你看看整个赌场 迈克 每个人都觉得自己会赢
But look. Look around the casino, Mike. Everybody here thinks they're due.
看那位可怜的女士 她看起来好像在潜水
Look at that poor lady. She looks like she's scuba diving.
嘿 那是阿斯彭·贝尔吗?
Hey. Is that Aspen Bell?
不会吧
No fucking way.
天啊 就是他
Holy shit. That is him.
跟你说了我要转运了 - 我们走
Told you my luck's changing. - Let's go.
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I kick it root down I put my root down ♪
- ♪ So, how we gonna kick it? ♪ - ♪ Gonna kick it root down ♪
- ♪ Yeah, how you wanna kick it? ♪ - ♪ Gonna kick it root down ♪
- ♪ So, how you gonna kick it? ♪ - ♪ Gonna kick it root down ♪
♪ Gonna break it on down Gonna kick it root down ♪
哇 - 糟了!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. - Oh shit!
抱歉 - 抱歉
Sorry. - Sorry.
嘿! - 嘿 老兄!你好吗?
Hey! - Hey, man! What's up?
操!什么情况?
Oh fuck! What the fuck?
你这个混♥蛋♥!
Yeah, motherfucker!
说话时看着我们 你这个垃圾!
Look at us when we're talking, corporate piece of shit!
你惹了不该惹的爹了 朋友
You fucked with the wrong dads, ese.
你在这里 挥霍从我们建的公♥司♥里赚来的钱吗?
What, are you here pissing away the money you made off the company we built?
你订了套房♥吗?
Did you book a suite, motherfucker?
不是的 我是来做感受力训练的
No, no, no, no. Guys, I'm... I'm here for sensitivity training.
你最好是 因为你是个该死的人♥渣♥!
You should be. 'Cause you're a fucking dick!
等一下 感受力训练?那是什么?
Wait a second. Wait a second. Sensitivity training? What's that?
你们知道美洲原住民 觉得“兽灵”这个词很冒犯吗?
Did you guys know that Native Americans take offense to the term "spirit animal"?
你因为卖♥♥艾德·卡梅隆的T恤 而惹麻烦了吗?
Wait. Did you get in trouble for selling those Ed Cameron T-shirts?
无限期停职了
Suspended indefinitely, actually.
我觉得这是千禧一代的“炒鱿鱼”
I think that's millennial for "fired."
怂逼混♥蛋♥就是这个下场!
That's what happens to punk motherfuckers!
真讽刺啊!
How ironic!
无缘无故被炒鱿鱼的感觉怎么样?
Yeah, how'd it feel to get fired for absolutely nothing?
“对你表示感恩!” 太逗了 我的天!
"I appreciate you!" Oh boy. Oh my God!
怎么回事? - 天啊!
What's happening? - Oh Jesus!
该死的推特 他们把我曝出来了
Fucking Twitter. They fucking posted me.
好了 冷静点
All right, relax.
他们把我家的地址发在了红迪网上
They fucking put my home address on Reddit.
我女朋友也离开了我
And my girlfriend left me.
对 但你们没看到他脸上的表情
Yeah, but you didn't see the look on his face.
我觉得他不想再跟我在一起了
I don't think he wants to be with me anymore.
相信我 他想的
Trust me. He does.
你怎么知道?
How do you know?
因为康纳一直都是那种表情
Because Connor has that look on his face all the time.
这说明不了什么 - 肯定有些什么
It means nothing.
我知道这说明什么了
It has to mean something. - This is what it means.
这说明他们需要我们 他们自己知道 且觉得不安
It means they need us. They know it. It bothers them.
哦 拜托
Oh please.
别问我要建议 好吗?
Do not look to me for advice, okay?
我嫁了一个彻底的疯子
I married an absolute lunatic.
你知道他跟一整排的大学生打架吗?
Do you know that he tried to fight an entire row of college kids
就在电影院 我们第二次约会的时候
at the ArcLight Cinema on our second date?
还赢了 彻底把我迷住了
And it worked. It totally charmed me.
我允许他摸我的胸了
I let him touch my boobs.
也许我曾经希望得到更多 但卡拉说的对
I guess I was hoping for something more, but Cara's right.
我想男人就是很肤浅很简单的
I think, when it comes to guys, there's just not a lot of layers.
所以我想说的是
So, anyway, what I'm trying to say is
这是你人生中为数不多的 可以让你觉得不负此生的东西
it's one of the only things in life that lives up to the hype.
你在工作中取得的任何成就 都不能跟它相比
I mean, nothing you're gonna achieve in your career can even touch it,
所以如果你对汉娜 是有那种感觉 就该告诉她
so if you feel that way about Hannah, you should go and tell her.
因为生命中唯一重要的事就是 你是否爱某个人 以及他们是否爱你
'Cause the only thing that matters in life is if you love someone and they love you.
只有那些是重要的 还有你的孩子
That's all that matters. That and your kids.
老天!看她那屁♥股♥
Jesus Christ! Look at the fucking ass on her.
我的天!没错
Oh my God! Yeah.
好了，迎接周二晚上的美刀吧
All right! Let's get those Tuesday night dollars coming.
跟我来
Come with me.
不用了 谢谢 我挺好的
Oh, no, thank you. I'm... I'm good.
你朋友可不是这么跟我说的 他花钱买♥♥了两段舞
That's not what your friend told me. He paid for two dances.
在拉斯维加斯发生的事 就留在拉斯维加斯 亲爱的!
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, baby!
老兄 我们在棕榈沙漠!
We're in Palm Desert, buddy!
你妈妈才在棕榈沙漠 怂包!
Your mother's in Palm Desert, you pussy!
没错! “你妈妈才在棕榈沙漠 怂包!”
Yeah! "Your mother's in Palm Desert, you pussy!"
兄弟!我跟他不熟哦
My man! We're not friends.
来吧
Come on.
嘿 下一个到你 潮男!
Hey, you're on deck, haircut!
你给我克制一点 安静点
I need you to bring that energy way down.
没关系 真的 他没什么问题 兰迪
It's okay. Really. He's cool. He's cool, Randy.
没关系 兰迪 我不搞事
Yeah, it's okay, Randy. I'm cool.
来吧
Give me some.
击一个!
Pound it out!
兰迪!
Randy!
不好意思
Aw, I'm sorry about that.
没事
Oh, that's okay.
如果我是他 我也会被吓到的
I mean, if I were him, I'd be intimidated by me too.
是的 你确实很健硕
Oh, yeah. You are in great shape.
是吗?谢谢你 我练得很凶 你的身材也不错
Oh, yeah? Thank you very much. I work hard at it.
你的皮肤很棒
You're in great shape too. You have awesome skin.
谢谢
Thank you.
你几岁了?
How old are you?
这我不能告诉你
Aw, I can't tell you that.
你觉得我几岁了?
How old do you think I am?
49岁 -什么?
Forty-nine. - What?
你怎么知道的?
How do you know that?
脖子
The neck.
"爆女"泰勒正在主舞台上
Tyler "Blam," up on the main stage.
感觉如何?
How you doing?
之前我精神崩溃了一下子
I think I had a nervous breakdown earlier,
不过现在没事了
but I'm cool now.
那可真是太可怕了
Aw, that's hella scary.
不过别担心了 老爹
Well, don't worry, Daddy.
别叫我“老爹”好么
Just don't call me "Daddy."
你想让我叫你什么? - 叫我迈克吧
What do you want me to call you? - Call me Mike.
那太无趣了
That's no fun.
我要叫你大家伙迈克
I'm gonna call you Hella Mike.
大家伙迈克
Mmm. Hella Mike.
这地方真差劲 我看着可不像49岁 我像吗?
Fuck this place, man. I don't look 49. Do I look 49?