瞒天过海：美人计

-真的吗 -他呢
- Really? - What about him?
-那是男的 -所以呢
- Well, he's a him. - So?
不要男的
Don't want a him.
因为是他还是因为是"他"
Because it's a him or because it's a "Him"?
不 他不是什么重要人物
No, he's not a "Him."
-我基本不认识他 -那男的怎么了
- I barely know the guy. - What's wrong with a him?
男的惹人注目 女的就不会
A him gets noticed, a her gets ignored,
这一次 我们不想引人注目
and for once, we wanna be ignored.
塔米呢
What about Tammy?
伙计
Hey, buddy,
能帮我个忙吗 你能出去玩吗
can you do me a favor? Can you take that outside?
黛比 我和我的家人在一起
Debbie, I am with my family.
-我跟你说了... -我在外面
- I told you... - I'm outside.
-什么 -我在你家车♥库♥
- What? - I'm in your garage.
黛布
Deb?
黛布 你在这里干什么 我以为你在监狱
Deb, what are you doing here? I thought you were in jail.
我出来了
Mmm. I got out.
看看这些东西 我还以为你退休了呢
Look at all this. Thought you retired?
我是退休了
I did.
从加拿大偷运洗碗机
Not as exciting as hijacking trucks
总没有劫卡车来得刺♥激♥吧
that are smuggling dishwashers from Canada, right?
我已经不干了
Yeah, well, I don't do that anymore.
但是你很擅长
But you were so very good at it.
-谢谢 -嗯
- Thank you. - Yeah.
这些都是你自己用的吗
So these are all for personal use, right?
-你想要什么 -就是想叙叙旧
- What do you want? - Just wanna reconnect.
叙旧
Reconnect?
你一点都不无聊 对吧 塔塔
You're not bored out here, are you, Tam-Tam?
对 我一点也不无聊
No, I'm not bored out here at all.
-很好 很好 -不无聊
- Good, good. - No.
-你为什么这么问 -因为我需要一个销赃的
- Why would you ask that? - Because I need a fence.
我告诉你我已经不干了 我退出了
Well, I told you I don't do that anymore. I'm out.
-这是桩大活 -我不在乎
- It's a big job. - I don't care.
你要我告诉你这活有多大吗
Do you want me to tell you how big a job it is?
不 不 我不想听
No. No, I really don't.
我觉得我还是要告诉你这活有多大吧
I think I'm gonna tell you how big the job is.
-你在开玩笑吗 -没有
- Are you kidding? - No.
-妈妈 晚餐什么时候好啊 -该死
- Mommy, when's dinner ready? - Shit!
亲爱的 我马上来
Uh, sweetheart, I will be right there.
对不起 妈妈马上来
I'm so sorry. Mommy will be right there.
但是我好饿
But I'm hungry!
我知道 亲爱的 我保证我马上来
I know, sweetheart, I promise, I will be right there.
-真是谢谢你了 -她听上去很乖
- Thanks a lot. - She sounds sweet.
这些都是怎么和你丈夫解释的
How do you explain all this to your husband?
动♥*♥态♥*♥网♥上淘的
eBay.
好了 大家伙儿 开始吧
Okay, everybody. Let's get started.
让我们给你们
We would like to present to you all
假设一种情况
with a hypothetical situation.
-有多假设 -不算太假设 除非我们搞砸了
- How hypothetical? - Not very, unless we screw up.
每人的银行账户五周后
$16.5 million in each of your bank accounts,
多1650万
five weeks from now.
三周半后
In three and a half weeks,
大都会博物馆将会举办年度晚会
the Met will be hosting its annual ball,
庆祝他们的新展
celebrating its new costume exhibit,
而我们要去抢一笔
and we are going to rob it.
不是劫博物馆
Not the ball itself,
而是晚会上出现的
but a very important set of diamonds
一套非常珍贵的钻石
that will be attending the ball.
将会戴在达芙妮·克卢格的脖子上
On the neck of Daphne Kluger.
罗斯将会负责她的造型
Who Rose will be dressing.
-杜桑 -很好
- The Toussaint? - Very good.
等达芙妮一不小心上了我们的贼船
Once Daphne is inadvertently onboard,
我们就可以把项链从卡地亚保险库拿出来
we can then get the necklace out of the Cartier vault,
黑掉大都会艺术博物馆安保系统 拜托你了 九球
hack the Met security system, thank you, Nine Ball,
潜入慈善晚会
and infiltrate the Gala,
最高级的晚会之一...
considered to be one of the most exclusive...
是最高级的
The most exclusive.
美国最高级的晚会邀请函
The most exclusive party invitation in America.
回家准备好你们的东西
So go home, get your affairs in order,
因为明天我们就要开始
because tomorrow, we begin pulling off
史上最大的珠宝抢劫行动
one of the biggest jewelry heists in history.
-你要去哪里 -我要去大城市
- Where are you going? - I'm going to the big city.
-多久 -不太久 我保证
- How long? - Uh, not too long, I promise.
我很快就会回来了
I'll be back before you know it.
你去做什么
What are you gonna do?
我要帮我朋友黛比的忙
I am going to help my friend Debbie with her job.
帮什么忙
What kind of job?
-很复杂 -我能跟你一起去吗
- It's complicated. - Can I come with you?
不行 亲爱的 这是妈妈的特别出差
No, sweetie, this is Mommy's very special work trip.
是我的账户 我的钱
It is my account, it is my money,
我不能进入的唯一原因
and the only reason I can't access it
是因为我记不得我第二个表亲
is because I cannot remember the make and model
第一辆车的品牌和型号♥
of my second cousin's first car.
你能不能...
So if you could just...
我不想取钱
I don't wanna make a withdrawal,
我想存钱
I would like to make a deposit.
是的 我...
Yes, I...
我能...
Hey, can I...
没错 是的 我不会挂的 怎么了
Exactly, yes. Yes, I'll hold. What's up?
能不能给我一张地铁卡
Oh, hey, I was wondering if I can get a MetroCard,
因为我每天都从皇后区滑滑板过来
'cause I'm skateboarding in from Queens every day.
能给我一张地铁卡吗
Can I get a MetroCard?
我没有地铁卡
I don't have a MetroCard.
你没有地铁卡吗
You don't have a MetroCard?
我没有地铁卡
I don't have a MetroCard.
你是游客吗
What are you, a tourist?
你真有意思
You're fascinating.
你只给我二十美金
You're gonna just throw me one dub
买♥♥地铁卡吗 就这么多吗
for a MetroCard? That's it?
这样如何 我们偷五千万
How about this? We steal $50 million,
我给每个人都买♥♥一张地铁卡 怎么样
I'll buy everybody MetroCards. How's that?
好吧
Okay.
-那是你哥哥吗 -嗯
- Is that your brother? - Mmm-hmm.
-他很帅 -嗯
- He's hot. - Mmm.
你确定他死了还是...
You sure he's dead or...
不确定
No.
是的 亲爱的 妈妈在做新工作了
Yes, sweetie, Mommy is in her new job now.
查理 你能帮我个忙吗
Charlie, will you do me a favor?
你能把那个放到那里吗
Can you put that right there?
什么 亲爱的
What, sweetheart?
是这样的...妈妈的工作是
Um, uh, well... Mommy...
发现非常特别的玩具
finds very special toys,
然后为它们找到新家
and then she finds new homes for them.
没错 就像你的乌龟 完全正确
Yes, exactly like your turtle. That is exactly right.
太感谢你了 查理 谢谢
Thank you so much, Charlie, thank you.
亲爱的 我得挂了
Sweetheart, I have to go.
我刚刚给黛比找了一个全新的玩具
I just got a brand new toy for Debbie,
我等不及要拿去玩了
and I can't wait to play with it.
锆
Zirconium.
-我喜欢 -我知道你会喜欢的
- I like it. - Yeah, I bet you do.
放开那个男人
Unhand the man.
非常感谢
Thank you very much.
这是给你的特制眼镜
Here are your very special glasses.
假如罗斯能搞定 我是说假如
If Rose can pull this off, and that is a very big "If",
这副眼镜会扫描真项链
these glasses will scan the real necklace
然后把数字图像发给我们
and send a digital print back to us here.
一旦我们有了那个
Once we have that,
这个东西会用锆
this thing will print
打印出项链的复♥制♥品
a replica of the necklace in zirconium.
-在哪里 -这些不是杜桑
- Where is it? - These are not the Toussaint.