瞒天过海：美人计

进出盲区的人
during the period in question.
你能别把那里叫做盲区了吗
Could you please stop calling it a blind spot?
好吧
Fine.
由于你独特的摄像头放置
The bathroom door that we can't see
那扇我们看不到的洗手间的门
because of your unique camera placement.
这是世界上最先进的博物馆安保系统
This is the most sophisticated museum security in the world.
每一件艺术品旁都设有多个角度的摄像头
Every piece of art is recorded from multiple angles.
我们只是不需要在洗手间保护艺术品
We just don't happen to keep art in the bathroom.
我不是批评家 凯尔
I'm not a critic, Kyle.
我是保险调查员
I'm an insurance investigator.
我不想那么做的
I didn't wanna do it.
但是埃里克一直在撺掇我
But Eric's all, like, "Come on!"
我表示我不想再这么做了
I'm, like, "Dude, I don't do that anymore."
他说人人都这么做
He's, like, "Everyone's out on the loading dock!"
我知道我很愚蠢
I know it was really stupid.
我知道我是个混♥蛋♥
I know I'm an asshole,
可那大♥麻♥都不是我的
but it wasn't even my weed.
抱歉 你说什么
I'm sorry, what?
那大♥麻♥不是我的 你想要我
It wasn't my weed! Do you want me
尿在杯子里或是怎么样吗
to pee in a cup or something?
不 不必了
No, that won't be necessary.
你确定吗 我没关系的
Are you sure? I really don't mind.
我很肯定
I'm positive.
他们给我戴上了项链
They put the necklace on me.
然后我走了红毯
Then I walked the red carpet.
然后我看了展
Then I saw the exhibit.
然后我喝了汤
Then I ate my soup.
然后我吐得肠子都要出来了
Then I hurled my guts out.
然后项链就丢了
Then the necklace was gone.
然后大家就都抓狂了
And then everybody freaked out.
然后他们又找回了项链 我以为
And then they found it again, I thought.
结果不是吗
But, no?
这位先生
This gentleman.
克劳德·贝克
Claude Becker.
他是我的男伴
He was my date.
你戴着项链期间
Was there ever a time you two were alone
有没有跟他独处过
while you were wearing the necklace?
没有
No.
你在洗手间的时候有人跟你在一起吗
Anyone present with you in the bathroom?
我头埋在马桶里呢
My head was in a toilet bowl.
那之后呢
How 'bout after?
很多人
A lot of people.
你认识这个女人吗
Do you know this woman?
不认识
No.
黛比·奥申 重罪犯
Debbie Ocean, convicted felon.
她的哥哥 丹尼·奥申
Her brother, Danny Ocean,
犯过更多重罪
more convicted felon.
事情发生当晚她在场
She was present on the night of the incident.
是她偷了项链吗
Did she steal the necklace?
显然不是 她是唯一一个有不在场证明的
Apparently not, she's the only one with an alibi.
全程对着摄像头微笑
Smiling at the camera the entire time.
所以...
Ooh. So...
所以我现在手头有五个履历清白的人有嫌疑
So I have five innocent people who seem to be suspects,
而某个最有可能是嫌犯的人 却不是嫌犯
and someone who should be a suspect but isn't.
我手头的摄像头
I have cameras
覆盖了博物馆的每个角落
covering every inch of the museum,
除了洗手间
except for the loo,
而价值1.5亿的项链就在那里 在你的脖子上被偷了
where $150 million was stolen from that neck, your neck.
有意思的案件
Interesting case.
有时候我真爱我的工作
Some days, I love my job.
我也爱我的工作
I love my job, too.
你们完蛋了
You guys are fucked.
地方不错
Nice place.
这么大要开暖气可够费劲的
It must be a bitch to heat.
打扰一下 你这是私闯民宅
Excuse me! You are trespassing.
不 是我们邀请她来的
No. We asked her to come.
你们邀请她来的
You asked her to come?
几天前我们发现克卢格小姐...
We realized a few days ago that Miss Kluger...
不是个货真价实的蠢货
Was not a total fricking idiot.
她好像感觉到了我们要做什么
Might have gotten a sense of what we were doing.
你的脖子是世界上最好看的
You've got one of the greatest necks in the world.
首先 有一件事我很看得出来
First of all, if there's one thing I know,
糟糕的演技
it's bad acting.
事实上 你的脖子是唯一
In fact, you've got the only neck
配得上这条项链的
that could carry this necklace off.
而且我几乎从来不会吐
And I almost never throw up.
就算我喝得很醉
Even when I'm really wasted.
在水里
It was in the water.
肯定是你跑的时候掉到水里了
It must have fallen off while you were running.
最后 重要的是
And last but not least,
我见过的人永远不会忘
I never forget a face.
黛比·奥申
Debbie Ocean.
好吧 所以
Yeah. Yeah. So,
我觉得 8个人分1.5亿
seems to me, eight shares of 150 million
总比7个人什么都分不到要好 对吧
is better than seven shares of nothing, right?
怎么对我这么冷淡
Chilly!
你好 达芙妮 欢迎加入我们
Hi, Daph! Welcome to the team!
没必要击掌庆贺
Let's not all high-five at once.
再说了 我可是把你们从保险诈骗罪中
Plus, I am the one who is saving your asses
-拯救出来了 -什么
- from insurance fraud. - What?
-保险诈骗罪 -我刚要说到这个
- Insurance fraud? - I was gonna get to that.
什么时候的事
When?
他们似乎派出了一名保险调查员
It seems that they've assigned an insurance investigator...
他会把你们里里外外查个遍
Who's about to look up your ass with a flashlight.
-谁 -神探科伦坡转世
- Who? - This little Columbo dude,
一模一样 除了不♥穿♥风衣
everything but the trench coat.
绝对会查到你头上
Totally on to you.
他叫约翰·弗雷泽
His name is John Frazier.
-你认识他 -对
- You know him? - Yes.
他抓了我爸爸两次 我哥哥一次
He busted my father twice and my brother once.
老熟人了
He's family.
好了 以防大家忘记
All right. Lest we forget,
这个计划说好了我不会坐牢的
this entire enterprise was to keep me out of jail.
没人会坐牢的
Hey. No one's going to jail.
-你确定吗 -我们料到了这种情况
- Are you sure? - We expected this.
早就做了准备
We prepared for this.
对 很显然
Yup, that's clear.
我们不会是首要嫌犯
We will not be the prime suspect.
好吧 那首要嫌犯是谁
Okay, well then who will be the prime suspect?
有不少 有安保人员
There's a few. We've got the security guys,
有侍者
we've got the busboys...
还有害了你的阴险小人
The shady guy who put you away.
男伴
The boyfriend.
没错 他们要找偷项链的人
Yup. They were gonna be looking for somebody.
我们只要确保不找上我们
Just had to make sure it wasn't one of us.
设计得不错
It's nice.
谢了
Thanks.
太厉害了 计划得如此精确
That is amazing! The precision...
对吧
Right?
专注于细节
It's always the attention to detail
就如同一首乐曲动听与否
and the little grace notes
关键都在几个小小的装饰音上
that really make something sing.
你为什么要这么做
Why are you doing this?
我没几个闺蜜
I don't have that many close female friendships.
读书俱乐部太烂了
And book clubs are the worst.
我只是觉得
So I just thought
在这里可以分享点乐趣
this could be something fun to share.
你是因为孤独才来当罪犯吗
You're becoming a criminal because you're lonely?
谁没有个这样的时候呢 对吧
Who isn't sometimes, right?
你是独生女吗
Are you an only child?