妥瑞氏与我（2025）

You, too. Uh, right, I'll give you a rundown of the place.
把你的鸡♥巴♥放到我手里 尼玛的
Give me your cock in my hand. Fuck's sakes.
这是主厅 -好的
So, this is the main hall. -Right.
很多工作都是关于健康安全的
And, uh, to be honest, a lot of what I do is health and safety.
消防通道 灭火器 烟雾报♥警♥器
You know, fire escapes, fire extinguishers, smoke alarms.
小菜一碟 -就是这类事情
Aye, easy peasy. -That kind of stuff, you know.
如果你能得到这份工作 记住 这只是"如果"
Uh, if you were to get the job, and it's an "if", remember,
因为我还面试了几个年轻人
because I'm seeing a few youngsters.
我知道 -好的 只是让你知道
I know. -OK. Just so you know that.
老鸡♥巴♥混♥蛋♥
Wrinkly bastard.
各种活动需要准备不同的东西
You've got different events, uh, require different things
像一个小型会议
So, like, a wee council meeting
可能只需要几张桌子
could be just a couple of tables.
你可能要为一场童话剧摆出200个座位
Then again, you could be laying out 200 seats for a pantomime.
或者学校的戏剧制♥作♥ -我是恋童癖
Or a school theatre production. -I'm a paedophile.
对不起 那是抽动
Sorry, it was a tic.
没关系 没事的
That's all right, it's OK.
我带你看看外面？ -好的 那挺好
Want me to show you outside? Aye, that would be good.
好的 好好好
Right, good, good.
门不好开了 好了
I need to fix this. There we go.
每年春天需要打理的
Right, so, we plant these every spring,
需要浇水 除草
so they need watering and weeding,
和施肥 你了解植物吗？
and fed. You know about plants?
我喜欢植物 我花♥园♥里有两棵 -好的 好好好
Aye. I love plants. Two in my garden. -All right. Good, good, good.
好 不错 这块地方真是我的
Right, good. Um, this area is the bane of my life.
你♥他♥妈♥能不能闭嘴？
Do you ever shut the fuck up?
这块地方是我的…就是因为这个
Bane of my life, this area, because of this.
这为吸烟者提供了吸烟区
This provides cover for the smokers.
吸烟者出来吸烟
So the smokers come out here and they smoke.
他们会做什么 他们把烟头扔在地上
And then what do they do? They drop their filthy fags.
肮脏的烟头 肮脏的烟头
Filthy fags! Filthy fags!
肮脏的烟头 我是同性恋 不 我不是 我是
Filthy fags! I'm gay. No, I'm not. Yes, I am.
肮脏的烟头
Filthy fags!
那里回声挺大的 是吧？
It's quite echoey in there, isn't it?
是的 安静 回声大
Aye, it is quite. echoey.
随手关门 你和狗处得来吗？
Just close the door behind you. You OK with dogs?
我喜欢狗 -这是罗茜
Aye, I love dogs. -This is Rosie.
你好 罗茜 你好吗？ -嗯…
Hello, Rosie. How are you? -Um...
你坐那儿行吗？
You OK sitting there?
你没事吧？ -我很好
You all right? -Yeah, I'm good.
别碰家具 -对不起 对不起
OK. Don't hit the furniture. -Sorry, sorry.
好的 好的 请坐
All right, OK, just take a seat.
好的
Right.
那么 现在我们进入
So, now we get to the most important part
面试最重要的部分了 约翰 -肛♥交♥
of the interview, John. -Bum sex.
你能泡一杯像样的茶吗？
And that is, can you make a decent cup of tea?
哦 我很会泡茶
Oh, aye. I'm good at tea.
我喜欢浓茶 多加奶 三块糖
I like it strong, lots of milk, three sugar.
没问题 汤米
No bother, Tommy
记住 先放水 后放牛奶
And remember, put the water in first, then the milk.
好的 我是这么做的
OK, yeah. I do that as well.
他们怎么找的你 约翰
Right, we'll get to you in a minute, John.
他们跟你说了我什么？
So, what have they told you about me?
他们只是说你最近身体不太好
Um, they just said that you've not been very well lately.
是的 想找个年轻人 你可以尝试这份工作
Right. The plan is to get in a youngster, you learn the job,
如果我需要就医 或者别的事
so that if I've got a hospital appointment, or whatever..
好的 -他们就可以接手
Aye. -they can step in
不会耽误工作 -是的
and keep things going. -Hmm, yeah.
关于这份工作的资料
Well, I read a bit about the job, you know,
还有工作时间.
and the hours and that.
有兴趣试一试 -好的
Interested in giving it a go. -Right
你做的来？ -是的
You reliable? -Aye.
我都是提前到 一直这样 你知道吧
I'm always early, always. I have to be, you know.
我需要有人准时到这里开门
Cos I need someone to be here on time, to open up,
并且在我没空的时候锁门
and to be here to lock up when I'm not here.
随时 我可以做好
Aye, any time. Any time. Right.
动手能力如何 -我上学时学过
Good with your hands? -I was good at school, you know.
木工和铁活儿 我很愿意学
Woodwork and metalwork and that. But I'm keen to learn, and...
也不怕脏
I don't mind getting my hands dirty, you know?
好的 -我是个懒鬼
OK. -I'm a lazy bastard.
你不介意辛苦的工作？ -不介意
So, you don't mind hard work? No.
当我专注于一项工作时
In fact, when I'm concentrating on the job or a project,
对我真的很有帮助
I think it really helps me.
好的
Right.
好烫 -是的
That's hot. -Aye.
给你 汤米
There you go, Tommy.
我真的很抱歉 我喝那杯
I'm really sorry. I'l take that one.
好主意
Aye, that's a good idea.
嗯哼
Hm hmm.
好几个年轻来面试过
I've seen quite a few youngsters for this job.
而且我认为
And I don't think
我告诉你并不违反保密原则
I'm breaking confidentiality when I tell you
那是目前为止最好的一杯茶
that that is the best cup of tea yet.
太好了
Great.
所以…
So...
我用精♥液♥当牛奶
I use spunk for milk.
好的 你有什么问题要问我吗？
Right, so, have you any questions for me?
是的 有 嗯…
Oh, aye, yeah. Um...
我可能几个月后得请几天假
I might have to take a few days off work, in a few months,.
有个法庭审判要出席
because I've got a court trial coming up.
就这 -所以 你还没工作
Just that. So you've not even got the job
就已经在想着要请假了？
but already you're looking for a day off?
不 不 我只是说… 你搞砸了 约翰
No, no. I'm just saying that... You're fucking it up, John.
我只是说 如果我得到这份工作
Um, I'm just saying that, if I were to get the job,
我得请那个假 我只是想诚实一点
I'd have to take that time. I just wanted to be honest.
好的
Right.
惹上点小麻烦了 是吗？ -是的
Get in a wee scrape, did you? -Aye.
我最近有点倒霉
I've had a bit of bad luck recently.
是你的错吗？ -不是
Was it your fault? -No.
好的 我了解的差不多了
OK. That's good enough for me.
还有其他问题吗？
Any other questions?
我能胜任这份工作
I can do the job, you know.
我能行
I can do it.
但就是那个显而易见的问题
But just the obvious question, really, um.
你能接受抽动和说脏话吗？
Are you OK with the tics and the swearing?
什么抽动？什么脏话
What tics? What swearing?
只是给你提个醒 约翰
Just a wee word of warning, John. Uh.
你要是再敢那样对我的狗
You ever do that to my dog again,
我就痛扁你 明白吗？
and I'll tear your fucking heart out. Understand?
好的…
Right, well...
感谢你的面试
Thanks for seeing me.
那我走了
OK, I'll get off, then.
你还好吗 罗茜
All right, Rosie?
约翰 你好吗 -挺好的 伙计 你怎么样？
Oh, hiya, John. -All right, pal. How you doing?
很好 很好
Good, good.
给我一份报纸和水果糖 -最近怎么样？
Paper and Opal Fruits, please. -So, how you been keeping?
还不错 有个工作面试 肯尼
Ah, not so bad. Had a job interview today, Kenny.
哦 怎么样？ -我打了老板的狗
Oh, right. How did that go? -I hit the boss's dog.
好吧 别在意
Ach, well, never mind.
你随时可以回来干♥你♥的老本行 送报纸
You can always come back to your old paper round.
那可能真要你帮忙了 肯尼 回见
I might hold you to that, Kenny. I'll see you later.
保重 要什么 亲爱的？
Take care. Yes, love?
荡♥妇♥
Slut!
你刚才说什么？
What did you say?
对不起 小姐 我有妥瑞氏症
I'm sorry, miss. I've got Tourette's.
你刚才对我说什么？ -我真的很抱歉
What did you just say to me? -I'm really sorry.
我没有恶意 我控制不了我说的话
I mean no harm. I can't help what I say.
对不起 -滚开
I'm sorry. -Fuck off
有人在家吗？多特？
Anyone home? Dot?
你在干什么？
What are you doing?
等一下 约翰