全家变身大作战（2023）

You know, guys, I'm such a nerd that the only dessert I eat is pie.
3.14 说得好
3.14. That's amazing.
等你重考几何学后 就会听懂这个段子了
You'll get that one when you take geometry again.
够了 沃克 你死定了
That's it, Walker. You're dead.
怎么回事？ -好厉害
What happened? -That was amazing.
真的吗？ -真的
Oh, it was? -Yes.
很高兴我们来了 我玩得好开心
I'm so happy we did this. I'm having so much fun.
我也是 -不如我们以后经常这么做吧？
Me too. -Why don't we do this more often?
你是指用孩子们的身体 擅闯高中派对吗？
Crash high school parties in our kids' bodies?
不是 我是指一起外出约会
No, I mean, go out together.
做得到吗？ 我们要工作 要顾三个小孩 柴米油盐
I don't know. Work, three kids, life.
恢复真身后 我们要经常外出约会
When all this is over, we're going out more.
我们以前也是这样啊 我好怀念这种生活 我好想你
Like we used to, all right? I miss this. I miss you.
我也是
I miss you too.
他们不是姐弟吗？
Aren't they brother and sister?
这是你的主题曲
This is your song.
天啊
Whoa.
天啊
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
感觉来了
Somethin's coming.
沃克
Walker.
要过来一起跳吗？
Gonna get over here and join me?
♪ This here's a jam for all the fellas Tryin' to do what those ladies tell us ♪
♪ Get shot down 'cause you're overzealous Play hard to get, females get jealous ♪
♪ Ok, smarty, go to a party Girls are scantily clad and showin' body ♪
♪ A chick walks by you… ♪
有人看到茜茜·沃克吗？ 她在这里吗？
CC Walker. Have you seen CC Walker? Is she here?
这就是高中派对 -专注点 过去
This is a high school party. -Stay focused. Get us in there.
怀亚特 小子 你怎么来了？
Wyatt! What's up, buddy?
爸 你干什么？
Dad, what are you doing?
你不能这样搞我啊
You can't do this.
小子 只是放松一下 来吧
Just let loose a little bit, bud. Come on.
你搞什么？ -嗨 茜茜
What are you doing? -Hey, CC.
这简直荒唐 -我能解释的
This is absolutely unacceptable. -I can explain.
你能解释？
You can explain?
我玩得很开心 你就不能为你妈高兴吗？
I'm having fun. Can you not be happy for your mother?
妈妈们是不会这样跳舞的
Moms don't dance like this.
我玩得很开心 你在我体内也玩得很开心啊
I'm having fun. You have fun in my body.
只要你的灵魂还在我体内 我就罚你禁足在家
For the rest of the time you are in this body, you're grounded.
你被禁足了
You're grounded.
我不会跳舞 我只会玩《龙与地下城》
I don't dance. I play Dungeons & Dragons.
这些就是我常说的高光时刻
These are the moments. These are what I'm talking about.
你的模式识别机制被触动了 -别抗拒这种感觉嘛
Okay, pattern recognition kicking in. -Don't fight the feeling.
体内释放出越来越多肾上腺素
More epinephrine releasing.
♪ So don't hang yourself With a celibate rope ♪
♪ New movie's showin', so you're goin' ♪
♪ Could care less about The five you're blowin' ♪
♪ Theater gets dark Just to start the show ♪
♪ Then you spot a woman Sittin' in your row ♪
♪ She's dressed in yellow She says hello ♪
警♥察♥来了
Cops!
警♥察♥来了 -快逃
The cops are here! -Go!
警♥察♥来了
The cops are here!
沃克叔叔 -爱莉安娜
Mr. Walker. -Ariana.
我和怀亚特刚刚相处得很尴尬
I'm so embarrassed about what happened with Wyatt.
怎么了？ 我也不知道 情况变得很尴尬
Wha... What happened? -I don't know. Things got weird and…
我要被禁足了
I'm so grounded!
别走开 -你真是名副其实的双标
Don't you walk away from me. -You're a total double standard.
我不能出门做我爱做的事
I can't leave home to do the one thing I love,
你却能为所欲为
but you can do whatever you want.
瞧你这样子 你的服饰品味确实不错 你看起来神采飞扬
Look at you. You were right about that outfit. You look fly.
可是你瞧我 被困在这块皱巴巴的皮囊里
But I am here, stuck in this hag body,
你却可以出门玩耍
and you're just out
留下我应付你那群白♥痴♥闺蜜 照顾那只变♥态♥的狗宝宝
while I have your stupid friends and your psycho dog baby.
我开心有错吗？
Is me having fun the problem?
我以为我的问题是想法太机械化
Because I thought the problem was me being a robot.
“我是洁西·沃克 你对我的评价不符合逻辑”
"I am Jess Walker. Your criticism does not compute."
其实 我们可能需要多多放松
Maybe we should be having more fun.
我们擅闯派对的初衷不是去放松 而是想要帮帮怀亚特
We weren't there to have fun. We were trying to help Wyatt.
是吗？ 我们走进屋内时
Yeah, right. When we walked in,
你们跳排舞跳得正起劲呢
you were literally doing the Electric Walker Slide.
这是我和你妈在过去20年来 第一次迎来小小的高光时刻
Your mother and I had a small moment for the first time in 20 years.
有问题吗？ -爸 你还搞砸了我和爱莉安娜的苗头
So what? -You also ruined things with Ariana, Dad.
没你想得那么糟糕 她想吻我
Things are not that bad. She tried to kiss me.
你竟然偷走了我的初吻？ 不是 我推开了她
You stole my first kiss? -No. I pulled away.
你竟然替我拒绝了爱莉安娜？ -天啊
You rejected Ariana? On my behalf? -God! Gosh!
爸 -你把我搞糊涂了
Dad. -Now I'm confused.
我到底该怎么反应才对？ -别跟他们多说 走吧
I don't know what I'm supposed to do. -Let's go. Come on.
我们还没说完呢 -够了
We're not done with this. -No.
没什么可说了 -我永远吵不赢你们
Oh, we're done. -I can't win with you.
没想到你们竟然 未经我们同意下出门？
I can't believe you left without permission.
你不也经常一声不吭地出门吗？ -我是成年人 没必要报告行踪
You left the house without my permission. -I don't need it. I'm an adult.
难怪你们会搞错身份
No wonder you're so confused.
滚出我的房♥间
Get out of my room.
我才不要睡在这里
I'm not sleeping in here.
恶心
Gross.
爸 你干什么？ 滚出我的房♥间
Dad, what are you doing? Get out of here.
门都没有
Don't even think about it.
休想进来
Nope.
好
All right.
"Merry Christmas" by The Ramones playing
♪ Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight ♪
♪ Merry Christmas I don't want to fight tonight… ♪
天气好热 来到了圣诞前夕
Ho, ho, ho, and feeling hot, hot, hot here on Christmas Eve.
各位听众 别气馁 因为今晚圣诞老公公会到你家
But keep the faith, people, because Santa is coming tonight,
还可能带来圣诞奇迹
and he may just bring a Christmas miracle.
怀亚特 史波克那边有消息吗？
Hey, Wyatt, any news from Spock?
他说他应该能在天黑前把镜片做好
He says he should have the lens done by tonight.
我们应该还能撑过一天
We can last another day.
好在摩森愿意 给我们第二次讲演的机会
Thank goodness we got a second chance with Molson.
打去学校替我请病假 然后直接赶去我的办公室
Call in sick to school and go straight to my office.
妈 等等 不行 我今天有个数学大考
Mom, wait, no. I have a math final today.
占总分的30% 你必须赶去学校
It's 30% of my grade. You have to get to school.
好吧 尽可能拖住客户 我会尽快赶去
Fine. Just try and stall them. I'll get there as fast as I can.
好的 妈 说真的 换做我是你 我会选择做自己
Okay, but, Mom, if I am going to be you, I gotta be me.
这话什么意思？ -意思是…
What does that mean? -It's...
不会有事的 -茜茜
It's gonna be great. -CC.
我这就赶去办公室
I'll be right there.
"Love Is All Around" by Joan Jett playing
♪ Who can turn the world on With her smile? ♪
♪ Who can take a nothing day And suddenly make it all seem worthwhile ♪
♪ Well, it's you, girl, And you should know it ♪
♪ With each glance And every little movement you show it ♪
♪ No need to fake it You can have the town ♪
♪ Why don't you take it? You're gonna make it after all… ♪
听好 各位 摩森先生和他的团队在路上了
Okay, guys, Mr. Molson and his team are on their way.
我们将为他们讲演杰弗森花♥园♥的设计
We're gonna present our design for Jefferson Gardens,
只是这次我们将以团队的形式演示
but this time, we are going to do it as a team.
等等 你不打算全程一个人完成？
W-w-w-wait, so you don't want to do it all by yourself?
不了 我需要你们的帮忙 一个都不能少
No. I need help, guys. I need you all.
需要什么尽管说 你的团队很乐意为你效劳 对吧？
Whatever you need, your team is here to help. Right?
天啊 -还用说嘛
Oh my gosh! -Of course.
今天大家都会有个绰号♥
Okay, everyone has nicknames today.
我可以叫碧昂丝吗？ 她向来不记得我们的名字
Ooh. Could I be Beyoncé? -She doesn't remember our names.
被蛇咬的 你参加过体育项目吗？
Snake bite, did you ever play sports?
高中时期打过草地曲棍球
Field hockey in high school.
是团队运动 我喜欢
Team sport. My girl.
客户一定会抛出很多问题 所以你和“刘海蘑菇头”负责防守
There are gonna be a lot of questions, so you are in defense with Ramona Quimby.
是因为我顶着锅盖头吗？ -没错
It's the bowl cut, isn't it? Yeah.
好了 队友们 数到三 喊口号♥
Okay, team, on three.
通通过来 预备 -很好 我喜欢
Bring it in. Ready? -Great, I love it.
你们是最棒的
You guys are the best.
一、二、三 团结一心
One, two, three, team.
好耶 -加油
Yes! -Go!
好了 试♥卷♥都交上了
Well, that's everyone.
看来我可以让你们提早回家了
I guess I can let you all go a little early.
除非有人想要尝试解决这道加分题
Unless someone is brave enough to give the extra credit problem a try.
茜茜
CC.
答案是42
The answer you're looking for is 42.
正确 没想到有人答得出来
That's correct. I wasn't expecting anyone to get that.
其实是你问错问题
Well, you're actually asking the wrong question.
是吗？ -茜茜