永恒站（2025）

That's not a job.
你已经往生了 拉里
You've passed away, Larry.
不
No.
你已经死了
You're dead.
不 我没有 我只是撞到头了 然后...
No. I'm not. I-I hit my head. And...
是女孩
It's a girl.
跟我来吧
Walk with me.
好了 听着 我当时正和家人在一起
Oh. All right, listen. So I was sitting with my family,
然后我... -死了
and then I, uh-- -Died.
不是的 我...不管你想证明什...
No, and I... Whatever you're trying to pro...
这地方不疼 奇怪了
It's not sore. Weird.
自己看吧 拉里
Look, Larry.
这是怎么回事？
How is this happening?
每个人来到这里时 都会变回自己一生中最快乐时的样子
When you get here, your form reverts to its happiest self.
可以是任何年龄
It could be any age.
因此这里有很多十岁的男孩
That's why there are lots of 10-year-old boys,
但却没几个青少年
but not a lot of teenagers though.
糟了 琼安...我的太太 我得...回去
Ah, shit. Joan. Joan, my wife. I need... I need to go back.
拉里 往好方面想 至少你的老二又能用了
Oh, Larry. Look on the bright side. At least your penis works again.
嗨 安娜 -我的...
Hey, Anna. -My...
我的老二一直都能用
My penis always worked.
在这里 你不需要感到不好意思 我们什么都见过
There's no need to feel shame here. We've seen it all.
是啊 如果我真死了
Uh. Yeah. Well, if I was dead,
我也不会在乎我的老二到底...
I wouldn't really care about the functionality of my...
能不能用
Penis. -Ugh.
也不会像现在这样 被你搞得又尴尬又生气了
I wouldn't be embarrassed and annoyed with you right now,
因为在天堂里是不会生气的
because you're not supposed to be annoyed in heaven.
下界人总传授些奇怪的知识
Oh, they tell you such strange things down there.
拉里 你觉得灵魂是什么？
Larry, what is a soul?
我不知道 应该是 自己最完美的那个版本吧
I don't know. I suppose it's the perfect version of yourself.
不对 灵魂就只是你自己
No. It's just you.
不 不可能
No, that can't be right.
如果你生前总是生气 拉里 那你死后可能也会一样
If you were annoyed a lot in life, Larry, then you might be annoyed a lot in death.
拉里 你生前常生气吗？
Were you annoyed a lot in life, Larry?
听我说 我太太现在很需要我
Listen to me. My wife really needs me right now.
抱歉 没法如你所愿
I'm sorry. It doesn't work like that.
醒醒 拉里 快醒醒...兄弟 快
Wake up, Larry. Wake up. Wake up. Come on, buddy. Come on.
永不入眠的城邦
搞什么鬼？
What the hell is that?
如果你是在做梦 就不会觉得疼了
If you were dreaming, you wouldn't feel that pain.
我没觉得疼
I didn't feel that.
通常你们这些老家伙 对老二能恢复功能都会很高兴的
You know, usually you old fellas really cheer up about the whole penis thing.
听我说 我要见见上帝 行吗？ 这就是我想要的
Listen to me, I need to talk to God, okay? That's what I want.
我想跟上面那位老大谈 -好吧 原来你是这一类型的
I want to speak with the big guy. -Okay, so you're one of those.
你干吗一开始不直接说清楚？
I don't know why you didn't say that in the first place.
我们的永生选项多的是
We got tons of eternities.
你是信《新约》 还是《旧约》？ 印度教？佛教？
What are you, New Testament, Old Testament? Hindu, Buddhist?
随你挑 -等等 并没上帝这回事？
Pick your poison. -Hold on. Is God not real?
我不晓得 但听着
I don't know. But, listen,
在其中一个永生世界里待上几百年后
after a couple hundred years in one of these eternities,
你也分不清到底有没有了
you won't even know the difference.
你在给谁打工？
Who do you work for?
弗兰克
I work for Frank.
好吧 那弗兰克又是给谁打工？
Okay, then, uh, who does Frank work for?
弗兰克的上司是汤姆 这些关你什么事？拜托
Frank works for Tom. Why-Why does it even matter? Come on.
我们没时间了 我还有别的客户 拜托你了 拉里
We don't have time. I got other clients, Larry, please.
好吧 那么...
Okay. Well,
很抱歉 我没想到 天堂和现实生活如此相像
I'm sorry for assuming that paradise would look a little less like life.
这里并不是天堂
This isn't paradise.
只是生命与永生之间的中转站
This is just a brief transition between life and eternity.
你所过的一生让你赢得了永生
Oh, you've earned a life worth an eternity.
是吗？ -我们一般都会这么说
I have? -It's just something we say.
每个人都能得到永生
Everybody gets an eternity.
不管是好人 坏人还是丑人
The good, the bad and the ugly.
所以那些“过好一生”的说法 全都是胡扯？
So all that "live a good life" stuff's a-a bunch of crap?
恐怕是的
Afraid so.
红门逃犯 -离我远点
Red door escapee.
不 -别反抗
Get away from me! -Do not engage.
那个？别管了 -放开我
Oh, that? Don't worry about that. -Get away!
只要记得别进入任何红色的门
Just don't run through any red doors.
我不能回去 我没法再待下去了
I can't go back. I can't do it anymore.
过来...
Come here. Come...
放开我 -拉里 快走吧...
Get off me. -Larry, let's go. Let's go.
前往234号♥高山世界的列车即将发车
Final call for Alpine World, 234.
所以这就是我住的地方？
So this is where I'm staying, huh?
暂时的 直到你选好你想要的永生
For now, until you choose the right eternity for you.
不过这些我迟些再给你讲解
But we'll get into all that later.
天主教世界 活得没一点罪恶感 算什么人生？
我觉得现在讲正合适 我都死了 -嘿 这就对了 接受现实了
I think now's a good time. I'm dead. -Hey. There you go. Acceptance.
我们在衣柜里放了些你最喜欢的衣服
We have some of your favorite clothes in the closet,
你可以看看
in case you want to check it out.
安娜？
Anna?
1840年代的爱尔兰闹大饥荒 不就是因为马铃薯疫病
Didn't 1840s Ireland have a devastating famine caused by a potato blight
以及英国人把爱尔兰的 其他粮食都出口了？
and the British exporting all their other food?
但我们这里并不会
Well, not here.
如今已无饥荒 爱尔兰乡村
想过当个机长...
Ever wanted to be the captain of--
讨厌穿衣服 但又怕冷？
Do you hate clothes, but you need them to keep warm?
在454自然之州 这里的气候永远是宜人的22摄氏度
Well, here in Natural State 454, it's always a balmy 72 degrees.
状态不错啊 吉姆
Ooh. Looking good, Jim.
他心脏跳得“好猛”
He's "cardiac-ing" really hard.
用吸力泵啊 该死的
Suction, goddamn it.
抢救失败
We lost him. -But you found me.
医疗世界 无需医学经验
可你找到了我
如果你死于暴♥力♥
If you suffered a violent death,
请联♥系♥我们的来世顾问
please reach out to our afterlife counselors.
资本主义世界
我在大学时做过实验
You know, I did, uh, experiment in college.
无男世界 你终于不用再忍♥受男人了
现已关闭 443号♥已额满
444号♥即将开放
酒吧
嗨 你好
Hi, there.
嗨
Hi.
很困惑 啊？
Confusing time, huh?
对 还真是
Yes, actually.
不好意思 我...结婚了
Oh. S-Sorry, I'm... I'm married.
如果我告诉你
What if I, uh, told you
我能帮你取得最抢手的永生世界的名额...
I could secure you a spot in the hottest eternity...
玛姬 你清楚这里的条规 酒吧里不准推销
Marge. You know the policy. No selling in the bar.
酒吧里不准推销
No selling in the bar.
美食世界
666号♥
撒旦主义世界
请给我来杯烈的
Something strong, please.
第一天到这里？
First day?
所以你是个天使什么的？
So what are you, like an angel or something?
不...
Oh, no, no.
我是个酒保
I'm a bartender.
该死的 我还得找份工作？
Oh, shit. Do I have to get a job?
除非你想留下来
Only if you want to stay here.
那你接下来打算去哪里？
So what are you thinking about, for where you want to go from here?
我...不知道
I don't... I don't know.
也许去个阳光明媚 有沙滩的地方吧
Somewhere sunny with a beach, I guess.
但我太太并不喜欢 所以我不能在那里待太久
But my wife won't like that, so I can't stay for long.
你的来世协调员给你讲解规则了吗？
Did your AC go over the rules?
没有 不过她好像很忙
No, but, uh, she seemed busy.
好吧 听着 重点是
All right. Well, look, the big thing
一旦你选定了永生世界 就不能更换了
is there's no switching eternities after you've chosen.
不能探访其他永生世界 全都不行
No visiting other eternities, no nothing.
永生就是永恒
Eternity is eternity.
是永远
It's forever.
那如果我不遵守规则呢？ 他们能把我怎样 再次杀死我？
What if I didn't go along with the rules? What are they gonna do, kill me again?
严格来说 他们确实不能再杀你了
Technically they can't kill you again.
但你如果违规
But you break a rule,
逾期滞留 或者试图更换永生世界
you overstay your welcome, or you try switching eternities,