摘金奇缘

阿嬷喜欢我的脸 她说我的鼻子很有福气
And Ah Ma, she liked my face. She said I had a lucky nose.
那好极了
That's great!
爱莉可以恨你
You know, Eleanor can hate you all day long,
但她不能违逆中国两千年传承下来的孝道
but you can't beat 2,000 years of Chinese filial piety.
我甚至觉得我不该去参加婚礼
I feel like I shouldn't even go to the wedding.
那是科林和阿♥拉♥明塔的大日子
You know, it's Colin and Araminta's day.
我不想弄出什么狗血剧情
I don't wanna cause any drama there.
我觉得我应该避开
I feel like I should just sit it out.
跟尼克说我食物中毒了之类的
You know? Tell Nick I had food poisoning or something.
-怎么了 -女人的嘴骗人的鬼
- What? - That's bullshit.
-你只是害怕了 -我没有
- You're just scared. - No, I'm not.
你现在得明白这一点
Okay, here's what you need to understand. All right?
你不是要爱莉喜欢你
It's not about getting Eleanor to like you.
是要她尊重你
It's about getting her to respect you, all right?
她现在觉得你是个不够格的
Right now, she just thinks you're some undeserving,
-很无知 拜金... -好了 我懂了
- clueless, gold-digging... - Yeah, I got it.
没用 粗俗的香蕉人
...trashy, unrefined banana.
外面是黄的[黄种人] 里面是白的[白人]
Yellow on the outside, white on the inside.
我知道香蕉什么样
I know what a banana is.
然而你其实 是一个非常老练又聪明的
When, in reality, you're a super sophisticated, smart
博弈论教授
professor of freaking game theory.
给她看你的那一面
Show her that side of you, you know?
你说得对
You're right.
我当然是对的
Damn straight, I'm right.
我是林佩 我永远是对的
It's Peik Lin, I'm always right.
她想跟我玩
Yeah, she's like trying to play
老鹰捉小鸡的游戏
a game of chicken with me.
她朝我冲过来 以为我
Where she's like coming at me, and thinking
会像小鸡一样扭头就逃
I'm going to swerve like a chicken.
但你不能逃
But you can't swerve.
我不会逃的 我不会输给她
I'm not gonna swerve. Not for her.
对 小鸡啄人很疼的
No. Chickens are bitches, dude!
-我不是小鸡[胆小鬼] -你不是胆小鬼
- And I'm not a chicken. - You're not a chicken.
你要在婚礼上闪亮登场
You're gonna roll up to that wedding,
让她看看"老娘来了 贱♥人♥"
you're gonna be like, "Bak-bak, bitch!"
老娘来了 贱♥人♥
Bak-bak, bitch!
小鸡啄人很疼的
Chickens are bitches.
对不起 大叔
Sorry, Uncle.
你今晚有安排吗
What are you doing tonight?
去寄快递之类的
I was gonna go to FedEx or something.
什么事 噢
Why? Oh!
我期盼做这件事已经很久了
I have been waiting to do this properly for so long.
我觉得要给你修下眉 卷个睫毛
I'm thinking eyebrow triage, root crimps,
再贴下双眼皮贴
maybe some eyelid tape.
你觉得怎么样
What do you think?
全部都得弄
Ugh. All of it.
先得给你敷一张韩国蜗牛面膜
And I would throw in a Korean snail face mask.
亲爱的 你皮肤太干了 我看不过去了
Sweetie, your skin is so dry, it's hurting my face.
谢谢
Thank you.
是时候
You know, it's about time
反抗爱莉姨了
someone stood up to Auntie Eleanor.
是你 不是我 老天
Well, you, not me. Oh, God!
决不能让她知道我参与了
She can't know I was ever here.
-不会的 -那好
- Oh, no. - Right. Well,
好了 开工吧 小可爱们
okay, let's get to work. Cappuccinos.
拿那件紫红色的巴黎世家 桃红色的蔻依
Pull the plum Balenciaga, the peach Chloe,
詹巴迪斯塔还有宝缇嘉
the Giambattista, all the Bottegas.
还有那款带褶边的吴季刚
Oh, and that Jason Wu with the deconstructed ruffles.
再给林佩拿个三明治
And a sandwich for Peik Lin.
-好吧 一般 -好吧
- Oh! Okay. All right. - Oh. Right.
我感觉还可以
I'm not sure if it's working
又感觉像是小丑的卫生棉条
or if she looks like a clown's tampon.
量多的那天
On a heavy day.
你看起来像朵花
You look like a flower.
悲哀 孤独 没人要的那种
A sad, lonely flower no one wants to be around.
这可是世纪婚礼
I mean, it's the wedding of the century.
我们当然要出席了 这是自然...
So, of course, we're here. It's the natural...
这件还不错
It's not that bad.
它把你的气质撑起来了
It's holding you up.
这件是手工缝制的 知道吧
It's a hands-on dress. You know what I mean?
拿着
Incoming.
好的
Okay.
我爱我的粉丝
I love my fans.
台北虎2将重新定义这一类型
Taipei Tiger 2 is going to redefine the genre.
-她是巨星 巨星 -TT2 亲爱的
- She's a star. She's a star. - TT2,honey.
我要被闪瞎了
I'm blinded by the light.
所以迪斯科舞厅都倒闭了
This is why disco died.
你看起来像放荡的埃博拉病毒
You kind of look like a slutty Ebola virus.
感觉像彩虹糖 尝尝彩虹的味道
It's like a bag of Skittles. Taste the rainbow.
字幕
Could work if we...
我觉得我们得...
Yes. I think we just ought to...
我觉得我们就告诉她这是你挑的
I just think if we could tell her this is coming from you
因为她可能不愿意穿男人给她挑的
'cause she probably doesn't want to hear it from a guy.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
好了 记住 最佳角度
Okay, remember. Optimal angles.
就是这里 就是这里
Just right here! Just right here!
女士
Ma'am.
各位 这是纽约来的朱瑞秋
Everyone, I've got Rachel Chu of New York.
纽约来的朱瑞秋
Rachel Chu of New York.
瑞秋 瑞秋 看我
Rachel! Rachel! To me!
好 姑娘们 很好
Okay, ladies, looking good.
请让一下 借过
Out of the way, please. Out of the way.
-真美 -谢谢你
- So gorgeous! - Thank you.
女士们 请让一下 让一下
Ladies, move, please. Out of the way!
很好 好极了 裙子很美
Good, that's great. Beautiful dress.
女士们
Ladies.
阿曼达
Amanda.
你挡我道了
You're in my way.
行吧 怎么了
Okay, what?
我们的中国投资者有点紧张
Our Chinese investors are getting nervous.
我得周一飞去深圳
I have to fly in to Shenzhen on Monday
去说服他们
to try and talk them down.
那天是嘉嘉的生日
That's Cassian's birthday.
我知道
Yeah, I know.
我也不想错过 但这事很重要
I hate to miss it, but this is important.
你儿子的生日更重要才对
You'd think your son's birthday's important.
让别人去处理
Get someone else to handle it.
除非你出去是为了别的事
Unless there's another reason you're out of town?
你在说什么
What are you saying?
我知道你有外遇了
I know you're having an affair.
老天 阿丝
Oh, Jesus. Astrid.
我们先参加完婚礼
Let's just get through the wedding,
之后再谈这事
and we'll deal with it after.
我不想把场面弄得很难看
I don't wanna make a scene.
你发现我跟别的女人
You find out I'm having an affair
有外遇了
with another woman,
却还担心场面难不难看
and you're worried about making a scene?
你宁可我对你大吼大叫争吵不休吗
You'd rather I scream and carry on?
是的 我宁可你这样
Yes. Honestly, I wish you would.
那会让我觉得你在乎我 而不是在乎别人
It would show you cared about more than what people thought
对你和你家的看法
of you and your family.
别想把矛盾引到我身上
Don't try and turn this on me.
搞砸我们婚姻的不是我
I'm not the one who screwed up!
当然不是了
Of course not.
你永远是最漂亮
You're always the prettiest,
最富有 最完美的那个
richest, most perfect girl in the room.
而我只是一个永远不够格的
While I'm just this lucky bastard
幸运的混♥蛋♥
who will never measure up.
别这么说
Don't say that.
我知道你在想什么 阿丝
I know what you're thinking, Astrid.