美国之旅2（2021）

I know not what you speak of. I was successful my first time,
就跟我父王一样
-just like my father.
贾菲乔佛
-Jaffe Joffer.
还有他的父王
-And his father before him.
贾帕乔佛
-Jappa Joffer.
很好
-Very good. Very good!
你看
Oh, watch.
靠
-Oh, shit!
别紧张 牠是我朋友巴巴
-Oh, do not be alarmed. This Babar, he is my friend.
牠还是小象时 我们就认识了
I have known him since he was a small elephant.
–让牠过去 让让 –好啦
Let him pass. Move. -Let him pass. -All right.
过去吧 巴巴 我的朋友
Come through, Babar, my friend.
巨无霸巴巴
Babar, the magnificent one.
我们认识时 牠还是小象
I have known him since he was a little elephant,
现在都做爸爸了
and now he is a father,
很棒的爸爸
as well.
我得承认
I must admit,
你的行为和风格 对我的王国来说很陌生
your manner and your style is foreign to my kingdom,
–但令人印象深刻 –是喔
but it is impressive. Yeah?
我只是努力向你看齐
Damn, I'm just trying to be like you.
懂我意思吗
You know what I mean?
我的御用美发师米兰贝
You know, , my royal barber,
跟我说了你的故事 你老爸要你娶隔壁国女人
told me the story that your pops wanted you to marry a Nexdorian girl,
於是你飞去皇后区 寻找自己想要的老婆
so you bounced to Queens to find a wife on your own terms.
我想找的不只是老婆
I wanted to find more than a wife.
而是在各个层面都跟我契合的女人
To find someone that I connected with on every level.
她知道我来自何方
Someone who knew where I was coming from
虽然我们来自全然不同的两个世界
even though we came from entirely two different places.
或许有人会说 我同时是在找自己
And one might say I was looking for myself, as well.
休息一下
Get some rest,
儿子
my son.
谢啦 老爸
Thanks, Pops.
牠看起来很饿
He looks hungry.
从牠压低身子走就看得出来
You can see it in how he walks low to the ground.
打从我一来你就讨厌我 我懂
Look, man, you haven't liked me since I got here, and I get that,
你♥爸♥把我妈肚子搞大 把我拖来非洲 不是我的错
but ain't my fault your dad knocked up my mom and dragged my ass back to Africa.
没人逼你留下来
Well, no one is asking you to stay.
很好 小妹 我就快消失了
It's all good, little sis. All good. I'll be gone in a minute,
–我会被狮子吃掉 –希望如此
'cause I'm about to be eaten by a lion! -I hope so!
–很好 –很好
-Fine! Fine! -Fine!
你觉得我会失败对吧
You really think I'm gonna fail, don't you?
我没这麽说…
I have never said that...
没说出来
out loud.
你不用说
You ain't got to.
看表情就知道
It's that look.
我这辈子一直收到那种表情
Been getting that look my entire life.
人们光听我讲话、看我出身
People writing me off 'cause of the way I talk
就看不起我
or where I'm from.
你不会懂我在说什麽
But you got no idea what I'm talking about.
因为你是公主
'Cause you a princess.
公主跟所有人一样也会被看不起
Princesses can be written off just as much as anyone.
我准备了一辈子
I have been preparing my whole life
就为了站在你现在的位置上
to be standing where you are in this moment.
但你说得没错
But you are right.
把我父王的错怪在你身上并不公平
It is not fair for me to blame you for my father's mistake.
不是说你是个错误
Not that you are a mistake.
你其实算是个错误
-Well, you kind of are a mistake.
好啦 我懂啦
-Okay. I get it, I get it. A'ight.
真是的
Damn.
或许这个考验跟勇气无关
Perhaps the test has nothing to do with bravery.
王子考验同时也在考验智慧
The tests are also a challenge of the mind.
在行销界 这叫上钩调包
So, in sales, it's called a bait and switch.
用廉价商品吸引顾客
So, the customer thinks that they're buying something at half off,
顾客蜂拥而至 急着抢♥购♥入手
so they come flocking, waving their wallets, just hungry to buy something,
等他们来到现场
but by the time they get there,
兜售他们高价商品
you sell 'em the upgrade at double the price.
对耶 就跟我们在战场上
Yes. It is the same as a technique
用的那招叫佯退的战术一样
we use in battle called the feigned withdrawal.
大军假装战败撤退
An army retreats with the sole intention
引诱敌军追击 然後掉头突击
of drawing the enemy out and ambushing him.
所以我现在是撤退大军
So, what, in this scenario, I'm-I'm the retreating army?
不是 你是等着调包的诱饵
No, you are the bait to switch.
这样不行
This ain't right.
我外甥会被吃人♥大♥狮子吞掉
My nephew could be eaten by a man-eating lion!
这是什麽烂王国
Besides, what kind of kingdom is this?
没看到半间小吃摊 也没半个餐盘
I don't see no Lunchables or no lunch trays up here, nothing!
糟糕
-No.
快跑
Run! Run!
相信我 不要回头看
Trust me, don't look back!
往前跑就对了
Just keep running! Keep running! Run!
用力跑
Keep running!
他被困住了 我要去救他
He's trapped. I must save him.
愚蠢
Stupid.
父王 等等
Wait, Father.
你看
Look.
什麽东西
What is this?
什麽东西
What is this?
每只危险大猫咪都会爱的东西
What every dangerous house cat likes.
喜跃猫罐头
猫食
Cat food.
我得手了
-I got 'em. Mm-hmm.
他差不多准备好成为王子了
He is almost ready to become a prince.
什麽 差不多
Wait, almost?
该是翁巴强吐的时候了
It is time for umbajuntoo.
翁巴强吐
-Umbajuntoo!
翁巴强吐
-Umbajuntoo!
什麽是翁巴强吐
Uh, what's-what's, uh... umbajuntoo?
割礼仪式
Ceremonial circumcision.
割礼…
-Ceremonial...
他们要帮你磨利工具啦
That mean they're gonna sharpen your tool, nephew.
抓住他
-Hold him.
不要抓我
-Hey, yo, ain't got to restrain me. Yo...
妈 跟他们说我割过了
-Hey, Ma, tell 'em we already did this!
没关系 宝贝 我们喜欢这里 对吧
-That's okay, baby. We love it here, right?
就让他们割一点点呗
Let them take a little bit off the top.
这些是你祖先们的包皮
These are the foreskins of your forefathers.
乔佛乔佛
-Ew. -Joffer Joffer.
你曾曾曾祖父
Great-great-great-grandfather.
贾帕乔佛
Jappa Joffer.
你曾祖父
Your great-grandfather.
贾菲乔佛
Jaffe Joffer.
你祖父
Your grandfather.
还有阿基姆国王
And King Akeem.
好吧
Okay.
你有病喔
What are you... Oh, what is wrong with you?
马铃薯啦
See, a potato.
整到你了 宝贝
They got you, baby! They got you!
他通过了最後的王子考验
You just completed the final princely test,
勇气考验
-the test of courage.
勇气
-Courage?
提醒你一下 我刚单挑一头吃人狮子
Need I remind you I was face-to-face with a man-eating lion?
小兄弟遭受威胁 也能考验男人的勇气对吧
For one to put his member in danger is also a test of courage, yes?
表示我们愿意牺牲最神圣的东西
You are willing to sacrifice what is most sacred.
我的老二
My penis?
你的尊严
Your pride.
皇后区的拉维尔强森
Lavelle Junson of Queens,
我在此加冕你为…
I hereby crown you
萨慕达王子
the prince of Zamunda.
是喔 所以你就放手 让他们随便割
Okay, so you thought the best response was to let them cut it off?
我不惜一切代价
I was doing whatever it took.
为了什麽呢
Like what, exactly?