美国之旅2（2021）

我说真的 到底是怎样
Like, be for real-- what's up with that?
我现在没心情搞这些
Hey, yo, I-I can't do this right now, man.
看看这地方
Yo, look where I'm at.
我根本不该在这里
I'm not supposed to be here.
我这辈子
You know, my whole life,
一直梦想着有一天老爸会出现
I had dreams that my pops would show up and take
带着我和老妈过上全新的生活
me and my mom away to a whole new life.
结果他竟然是个国王
And come to find out, he's a king. To a whole damn country.
唯一满足他期待的方法
And the only way to meet his expectations
竟然是学殭屍走路和找死
is to walk with a stick up my ass or get myself killed.
这不是我 米兰贝
This-this ain't my way, .
我无法变成他想要的样子
And I-I-I can't... I can't be what he wants me to be.
那就别当他是阿基姆国王
Then perhaps be not as King Akeem
当他是阿基姆王子
but as Prince Akeem.
不是同一位老兄吗
Ain't that the same brother?
你没听过他的故事
You haven't heard the story.
萨慕达人人都听过
Everyone in Zamunda knows
阿基姆王子
the legend of Prince Akeem
在皇后区的传说
-in the land of Queens.
阿基姆王子是个尽责的王子 萨慕达忠实的传人
Prince Akeem was a dutiful prince and loyal son of Zamunda.
哈罗 巴巴
Hello, Babar.
他相信人要随自己的心 走自己的路
But he believed that a man must walk his own path and follow his heart.
我要自己找想要的新娘
I intend to find my bride.
现在这个哪里不好
What is wrong with the one you have now?
她狗上身
-Bark like a dog.
我要一个能激发 我的智慧和性慾的女人
I want a woman that's going to arouse my intellect as well as my loins.
他飞越大海寻找他的真爱
He flew across the sea to find his true love.
在皇后区那蛮荒之地
Now there, in the barbaric land of Queens
阿基姆王子对战凸眼大盗
did Prince Akeem battle bug-eyed burglars,
臭嘴理发师
foul-mouthed barbers
以及性别歧视的宗教领袖
and sexist men of the cloth
赢得真命天女的芳心
to win the heart of his true love,
皇后区的莉莎麦当儿
Lisa McDowell of Queens.
他们的婚礼是如此盛大、如此美好
The wedding was grand and beautiful
如此神奇
and magical.
萨慕达迎来了全新的曙光
A new dawn had arised in Zamunda,
充满了全新的希望和改变
a new sense of hope and change.
阿基姆王子可能忘了自己的传说
King Akeem may have forgotten his story,
但萨慕达人♥民♥没忘
but the people of Zamunda have not.
走你自己的路
Walk your own path.
不用成为萨慕达王子
Be not the prince of Zamunda.
成为来自皇后区的王子
Be the prince from Queens.
上吧
欢迎皇后区的强森
Lavelle Junson of Queens.
酸民就是会酸人 贱♥人♥就是会耍贱
? ?
烂人就是会摆烂 新人就是会犯错
? Haters gonna hate Fakers gonna fake, ?
还在睡的快给我醒来 我再说一遍
? breakers gonna break Neophytes gonna make mistakes ?
大声说一遍 给我烙人来
? Sleepers gotta wake, I'm-a say it again ?
一个人不够 给这群人好看
? I'm-a say it loud, give me a group, not one man To smash the crowd, we... ?
陛下乐意的话
If it pleases Your Majesty,
容我介绍
I present to you
卡里姆强森
Kareem Junson,
又称里姆舅舅
aka Uncle Reem,
我的御用军师
my royal consigliere.
义大利语中超强导师的意思
That's Italian for "mack daddy mentor."
你唯一需要的导师就是你的父王
You need no other teacher than your king and your father.
错错错
No, no, no, no.
管好你的嘴 有钱哥
See, you watch your bottom lip, money grip,
你们忙着骑大象追泰山的时候
'cause you understand, while y'all was out here riding elephants and chasing Tarzan,
我已经在皇后区大街上教这小鬼了
I was schooling this boy on the streets of Queens.
好啦 我…
-All right, well, that's...
–他不了解我 –你才不了解我
-No, 'cause he don't know me. -You do not know me.
–你不了解我 –是你不了解我
-No, you don't know me. You do not know me.
–你不了解 –小心我喀擦你
-You don't know me. -I will cut you.
够了
Enough of this.
皇后区的里姆舅舅
Uncle Reem of Queens...
–欢迎来到我的王国 –来吧
you're welcome in my kingdom. Come on.
班森 你们有蟹肉饼吗 我需要来点蛋白质
Benson, y'all got some crab cakes, man? I need some protein.
–谁是班森 –就是你
-Who is Benson? -Benson is you.
等一下
Hold up. Hold up.
我找一下音乐
Let me get my Spotify on deck real quick.
来吧
Let's rock.
你什麽也没说
You ain't said nothing but a thing.
–有看到他的脚吗 –有
See his feet? -Yes.
看到他的手放哪吗
-See where his hand at?
–有看到他的动作吗 –有
-Mm-hmm. -See how he moving? Yes.
有种流动感
There's a fluidity to it.
就像李小龙说的：“要像水一样”
Yeah, it's like Bruce Lee said, "Be like water."
那是泰贝乔佛
That's Hebbe Joffer.
他能跟动物交谈 大家都以为他疯了
Legend has it he could speak to animals, and people thought he was crazy
直到他教会长颈鹿跳滑步舞
until he made a giraffe do the Electric Slide.
看来皇室婚礼指日可待
It appears a royal wedding may soon be upon us.
我们邀请到塞米 跟我们分享更多细节
For more on this, we are joined by Semmi.
大家好
Good to see you, Totatsi.
ZNN在王宫内的线人表示
According to our ZNN source inside the palace,
我引用他的话
we are hearing-- and I quote--
“这孩子最近的表现突飞猛进
"The boy been balling on this princely-ass test
“因为他那帅气聪明的舅舅来了”
ever since his handsome and mad smart uncle showed up."
太荒谬了 塔塔西 你的线人是谁
That is absurd, Totatsi. Who is your source?
是怎样
What the deal? What the deal?
就是我本人
Palace life for me.
里姆 你以为你是谁 竟敢扯国王後腿
Who do you think you are, Reem, going behind the king's back?
继续讲啊 老滑头
-You keep talking slick... -G-Gentlemen.
等这地方换人当家
...and when my man is running this place,
你就等着从皇家马屁精 变皇家擦屁精吧
you gonna go from royal ass kisser to royal ass wiper. -No, no.
我才不干这种事
-I will do no such thing. -Please, g-gent...
我吃很多炸物
Yeah, well, I eat a lot of fried food,
要用到双层卫生纸才够
so don't come at me with anything less than two-ply. -Oh!
–很好 –是吧
Okay.
就是这样 好样的
Oh, that's right. Ooh!
我好像会了
-I believe I have it now. -Don't hurt nobody.
有天份喔
Yeah, you got something.
–讲看看“嘿吼” –不好吧…
-Now let me hear you say, "Hey, ho." -I don't know...
–嘿吼 –没错
-Hey, ho. -Oh. -That's right.
我们在皇后区就是这麽玩
That's how we do it in Queens, though.
嘿吼
-Hey, ho. -Oh, no, no, no, no.
–不行… –不行 那是他妈
No, don't do that. That's his mother.
–不能… –不能对他妈说
-Oh, don't say it to... -No, not to his mother.
你这个肥猪美国人
-You obese American, you. -No.
对啦 一天25分钱 我就能帮助养活你这只瘦皮猴
Yeah, for 25 cents a day, I could sponsor-feed your scrawny ass.
下地狱去吧 美国奸人
Go to hell, you Western weasel!
你怎麽不去
-Yo, well, why don't you go?
咬我啊
-Make me.
–等着瞧 –你这个胆固醇烂人
You know something? Then I will. You cholesterol dumpster fire, you.
好的
-I-- o-okay, okay. -Totatsi!
稍微休息一下
Call the guards! -Let us, let us go for a short break.
佛瑞斯惠特克 开玩笑的 不是啦
That's Forest Whitaker. I'm joking. That's not...
那是通德乔佛
That one is Tunde Joffer.
就是因为他 萨慕达人迁徙到东部
Uh, he's the reason why the Zamundans migrated from the north to the east.
他表现不错
He's doing pretty good.
是吗
Yeah?
现在只剩一项考验了
There is but one test that remains:
从狮子身上取回胡须
retrieving the whiskers from a lion.
我想问的是 你打算怎麽克服恐惧
My one question isHow will you conquer your fear?
不克服
I'm not.
那是狮子欸
It's a damn lion.
我发现把牠们当成大猫咪会有帮助
Well, I found it is helpful to think of them as just being big house cats.
大猫咪 真的假的
Just big house cats? Really?
你什麽时候发现的
When'd you figure that out?
第10次还第11次
Was that on your tenth or 11th try?
我不知道你在说什麽 我第一次就成功了