美国之旅2（2021）

我在这
? Here I am ?
妈啊
Damn!
小子 听好了 你知道这首歌♥
Look here, boy. Look here. Pay attention to me. You know this song.
去让那小贱♥货♥知道厉害
You go put some purple on that ho!
为了我们国家
Do it for our country.
一、二、三 小可爱 我没喝酒
? One, two, three, nah, little cutie I ain't drinkin' ?
脱掉
-? Get off ?
看好了 我在思考
? Scope this, I was just thinkin' ?
你搭我 爽歪歪
? You plus me, what a ride ?
如果你也这麽想 我们外面继续
? If you was thinkin' the same, we can continue outside ?
美美身体靠上停车计时器
? Lay your pretty body against a parking meter ?
脱下你衣服
? Strip your dress down ?
就像撕开彼得保罗巧克力棒
? like I was stripping a Peter Paul's Almond Joy ?
看好了 小宝贝 我超能干
? Let me show you, baby, I'm a talented boy. ?
你好啊
What's up?
阿基姆国王
King Akeem,
就让我们两家 团结在同一面旗帜下吧
shall we join our families in marriage under one flag
你的私生子可愿迎娶我的波波托
by uniting your bastard with my Bopoto?
将军…
General...
如你所知我个人强烈反对
as you know, I have very, very strong opinions
婚姻大事由父母做主
when it comes to arranged marriages.
真爱是我王国的基石
True love is the bedrock of my kingdom.
但如果拉维尔自己想要 我又有什麽资格阻挡
But if this is something that Lavelle desires, who am I to stand in his way?
–慢着 什麽 –父王
-Wait, what? -Father.
拉维尔
Lavelle,
这是你想要的吗
is this what you want?
对 我想要
Yeah. I'm 'bout it.
那就这麽定了
Then it is settled!
赶快着手进行吧
Then let us proceed!
来场世纪大闪婚
A semiautomatic shotgun wedding it will be!
慢着
回想你父王临终的遗言
Remember your father's final words.
这孩子要通过王子的考验
The boy must pass the princely test.
忽略王子的考验 等同於对乔佛家列祖列宗
To forget the princely test would be to spit in the faces of the great Joffers who
大吐口水
have come before you.
这位大妈是哪位
Whose auntie is this?
我给你一周时间
I give you a week.
我可不想回去策画怎麽杀你
I wouldn't want to go back to plotting your death.
这是要闪人的意思吗
-What's "zoot"? Y'all leaving? Does that mean "leave"?
一周後见 我的王子
I'll see you in one week, my prince.
好喔
A'ight.
父王 我们谈谈好吗
-Father, can we talk about this?
–没什麽好谈的 –隔壁国是我国最大的威胁
-There is nothing to talk about. Nexdoria is our greatest threat.
把和平协议寄托在一个精虫冲脑的
To broker a peace hinging on the testosterone-clouded whims
陌生儿子身上太不明智
of a son you barely even know is foolish.
我说没什麽好谈的
I said there is nothing to talk about.
ZNN 萨慕达新闻
欢迎收看ZNN新闻
This is ZNN.
大家晚安 我是塔塔西毕毕亚纳
Good evening, my neighbors. I'm Totatsi Bibinyana.
情况出现惊人转折
In a most promising twist,
经本台确认
the Zamunda News Network has confirmed
阿基姆国王有一个儿子
that King Akeem has a son.
这孩子是否具备相应的实力 智慧和能力
While it is too early to determine whether the boy possesses any strength, intelligence
还言之过早
or capability whatsoever,
目前只知他是个男丁
what we do know is that he is a man.
对萨慕达王室而言
And as far as Zamundan royalty is concerned,
这样就够了
that's good enough.
王子的考验分为三个部分
The princely test has three parts.
–好的 –文化
-Okay. Uh-huh. -Culture,
批判思考 以及最重要的 勇气
critical thinking and, more importantly, courage.
该从哪开始呢
Where do we begin?
教教年轻的王子 怎麽用王者的姿态走路
Teach the young prince how to walk like royalty.
就这麽做
That is what we will do.
教你怎麽用王子的姿态走路
We will teach you how to walk like a prince.
我走路怎麽了
Yo, what's wrong with the way I walk now?
你走路活像美国的皮条客
You walk like an American pimp.
你穿这身活像未来的奴隶
You dress like a slave from the future.
一副恰恰宾克斯的蠢样
Old Jar Jar Binks lookin' ass.
好的 在这里
Here, in this hall,
你将与萨慕达先人进行面对面交流
you will come face-to-face with your Zamundan heritage.
开始吧
Let us begin.
–詹普乔佛 –詹普
Jompu Joffer. Jampu...
–贾库夫乔佛 –贾库夫
-Jakoof Joffer. -Jujkoof...
伟大的乔基姆乔佛
Mighty Jokeim Joffer,
乔佛家最帅气的祖先
the most handsome of all the Joffers.
屁♥股♥夹紧
Clench your backside.
挺起胸膛
-Put your shoulders back. -Mm-hmm.
下巴抬高
-Put your chin up. -Mm-hmm.
缩紧小腹
Suck in your stomach
起步走
and walk thusly.
起步…好吧
Now? Walk? Okay.
–这就是王者的姿态 –好的
-This is a regal gait. -Okay.
住手 别这样
Stop! Don't...
屁♥股♥夹紧
Tuck in your backside.
这是谁
And who is this?
–贾帕乔佛 –不对
Uh, that's Jappa Joffer.
–贾霸乔佛 –不对
-No. -Jabba the Hutt Joffer.
跳跃的闪电杰克乔佛
-No. -Jumpin' Jack Flash Joffer.
不对
No.
–杰拉德莱沃特乔佛 –不对
-Gerald Levert Joffer? -No.
–吉米沃克乔佛 –不对
-Jimmie "JJ" Walker Joffer? -No.
–恶龙乔佛 –不对
-Jabberwocky Joffer. -No.
詹姆士布朗乔佛 “嘿 ”
James Brown Joffer. Hey!
好 来这里干嘛
All right, y'all, what am I doing out here?
我好饿
I'm hungry. I'm...
我洗澡要迟到了
I-I'm late for my bath.
要我找什麽
What am I looking for?
妈的狮子欸 老兄
Oh! That's a damn lion, bruh!
如果你能从卧狮身上取下胡须
Only when you can retrieve the whiskers from a resting lion
代表你已准备好成为一名王子
will you be ready to become prince.
开玩笑的吧
This is a joke.
开玩笑的吧
This is a joke,
你这弱鸡不可能办到这种事
'cause I know your soft ass ain't never do nothing like that.
我办到了
Oh, yes, I did.
第一次出手就成功
-On my very first attempt.
这个嘛…对啦
-Well...Yes.
第一次就成功 很勇敢
First attempt. Very brave.
你需要祖先的加持
You will need the courage of all your ancestors...
开山刀 火箭炮 有什麽好东西
A machete? A rocket launcher? What you got?
加上你那美式的狡猾
...and the cunningness of your Western ways.
还有这个
And these.
谢啦
Thank you.
搞什麽东西
Ain't this a bitch.
我不属於这里
I just don't belong here.
您可是萨慕达国王之子
You are the son of the king of Zamunda.
您出身伟大乔佛世家…
You come from a long line of Joffers, and...
我出身穷酸凡人世家
I come from a long line of broke-ass nobodies.
我在想什麽 自以为能拥有这一切
What the hell I was thinking that I could have this?
甚至是一点点
Or any of it?
说真的
Hey, for real, just...
剪掉 好吗
cut this off, all right? Just cut it off.
你想剪掉皇家王子辫
You want to get rid of the royal princely braid?
也是啦
Well, this is fair.
老实说
To be honest,
真的不太适合你
it wasn't a great look on you.
这只是萨慕达众多过时传统之一
Just one of the many backward Zamundan traditions.
真的
Hell yeah.
你有这种感觉多久了
How long have you felt that way?
你知道有多痒吗
You know how itchy this is?
鼠尾辫欸
-It's a rat tail.
你们跟那什麽狮子胡须是怎样
And what's up with y'all and lion whiskers?