美国之旅2（2021）

狂寄停终信函
Cease-and-desist letters,
说我侵犯着作权
copyright infringement.
冰暴风跟冰炫风完全不一样
I mean, the McFlurby is nothing like the McFlurry.
我们把料放在下面
We put our toppings on the bottom.
所以你要硬起来
So you have to stay strong.
你要扞卫麦当儿到底
And you have to put McDowell's first.
我就是麦当儿
-I am McDowell's.
–我是萨慕达人 –那不是金色拱门
-And I am Zamunda. It's not the Golden Arches.
–而是金色圆弧 –金色圆弧
It's the Golden Arcs.
我是老板
And I'm the boss.
我是他妈的国王
And I am the MF'ing king.
说得好
You damn right you are.
克莱奥
Cleo,
谢谢你
thank you.
我正需要一名父亲的智慧之语
I much needed to hear the wisdom of a father.
相信你父王一定会了解 你正经历的一切
Well, I'm sure your father would understand what you're going through.
是啊
-Yes.
阿基姆
Akeem.
你觉得你母亲这时会怎麽说
What do you think your mother would say now?
我母亲
My mother?
太后
The queen.
我一直觉得 她是乔佛家最有智慧的人
I always thought that she was the wisest of all the Joffers.
这时她会对你说什麽
What do you think she would say to you now, son?
萨慕达人 起来
Zamundans, rise.
准备空军二号♥
Prepare the royal jet.
我要回美国
I shall return to America
带回我那犯错的孩子
and retrieve this errant child of mine.
伊齐将军明天就会再来
General Izzi will return in one day,
如果没有婚礼 他一定会出兵
and if there's no wedding, he most certainly will attack.
你留在这里保护我的家人
You stay here and protect my family.
陛下 我不是战士
I'm no warrior, Your Majesty.
记住你是谁 你是萨慕达之子
Remember who you are. You are a son of Zamunda.
硬起来
Be strong.
跟你们说 我只爱混血儿
And I'll tell you something else. I only like redbone gals.
这就是我们不同的地方
Oh, see, that's where we part.
我喜欢黑人女生
I like my women Black.
最好黑到做♥爱♥要拿手电筒
I want a woman so Black, when you make love, you need a flashlight.
我在找好货
I'm looking for the good stuff, man.
嘿 木法沙
Hey! Mufasa!
听说你找到你儿子啦
Hey, I hear you got your boy back.
我儿子现在在皇后区 我急着找他
My son has returned to Queens. It is most urgent that I find him.
他刚跟一个漂亮黑人小妞在这里
You know, he was here a little while ago with a fine little, pretty African thing.
她美吧
Wasn't she fine?
说要帮她找工作
-Mm-hmm! -Yeah, talking about getting her a job here.
他们要存钱 开家美发店
Then they gonna save up her money. -Then she gonna get her own place.
我跟她说马上可以上班 她技术超好
-That's right. I told her she could start right now, she was so fine.
结果说要赶去结婚
-That's right. -But, she-- they had to go off to their nuptials.
结婚
Nuptials?
–对啊 –在哪
-Yeah. -Where?
在我上周六拉肚子那家中餐厅附近
Near that Chinese restaurant where I caught the runs last Saturday.
–什麽 –美味大王
-What? -Oh, King Yum's.
我没空听这些
Gentlemen, I have no time for this.
他们的芙蓉蛋 害我上周不得已冲进我妹家
That egg foo yong made me have to stop off at my sister's last week
狂拉肚子
and make an emergency dump.
安静
Silence!
我没空听你的排便日常
I have no time to listen to your stories about your bowel movements.
婚礼在哪里举♥行♥
Where is the ceremony?
–圣日教堂 –谢谢
-Church of Holy Jubilation. -Thank you.
不客气
You're welcome.
他以为他在跟谁讲话
Who the hell he think he talking to?
我有只狗也叫国王
Coming in here...Just 'cause he a king.
我可是这家店的国王
I got a dog named King.
就是啊
Yeah, he ain't the king of this shop. -I'm the king of this shop.
他当王子的时候人比较好
-Exactly. He was nicer when he was a prince.
圣日教堂
这真的是虔诚的教堂吗
Is this a pious house of God?
如果虔诚是便宜的意思 那就是了
If "pious" means cheap, well, then you right.
这是星期二下午能找到 最好的地方了
This the best house of God we could find on a Tuesday afternoon.
戒指套一套 还要赶去斯斯吃全日虾子餐
So let's get these rings on these fingers before the all-day shrimp ends at Sizzler's.
搞不懂为什麽叫全日 明明只到6点
I don't even know why they call it "all-day." It ends at 6:00.
听着 宝贝 重点是真爱 不是虾子
Look, baby, it's about the love, okay? Not the shrimp.
–斯斯是什麽 –不重要
-What's a Sizzler? -It's nothing.
王子应该已经散完步回来
I assume the prince has returned from his midnight stroll
准备跟我女儿结婚了吧
and is prepared to marry my daughter.
将军 很抱歉
My apologies, General.
拉维尔王子身体不舒服
Prince Lavelle is currently indisposed.
身体不舒服
Indisposed?
是喔
Really?
我不会像壮阳淫羊藿田里
I will not continue to be jerked around
哀号♥的猴子一样被耍得团团转
like a howler monkey grazing in a field of horny goat weeds.
快说
Now, you tell me,
阿基姆国王人在哪
where is King Akeem?
好的
All right.
来结婚吧
Let's get hitched.
要有光 来吧
Let there be light. Hey!
我们今天齐聚一堂
We are gathered here today
见证两个美丽灵魂的相遇
for the meeting of these two beautiful souls,
紧紧相依 就像一对华丽的…
pressed together like a pair of sumptuous...
豆子
...beings.
主啊
Yeah, Lord.
阿们
-Amen! Amen!
阿们
-Amen!
–感觉祂的存在 –赞啦
-Feel his presence? -Yes, Father.
我等不及回家…
I can't wait to go home and...
听我说
Look, um,
我想跟你道歉
I just want to apologize.
我知道这不是你想像中的婚礼
I know this isn't exactly the wedding you've always imagined.
我不知道你干嘛道歉
I don't know why you would apologize.
我一直想像会有个好色
I'd always imagined there'd be a womanizing, sexist officiant
性别歧视的司仪 穿着黑袜主持一场怪婚礼
leading a very strange ceremony in black socks.
再完美不过了
It couldn't be more perfect.
赞啦 我要他们讲两遍
-So nice, I want 'em to say it twice. -Go on, preacher!
阿们
Amen!
再来一次
-Say it again.
哈利路亚 阿们
-Amen, girl. -Hallelujah! Amen!
继续 小妞
-Yes! -Go on, girl!
好棒棒 你现在是家人啦
-Yeah! -That's right, girl. You family now.
抓住她
Take her.
抓她来当人♥质♥ 等阿基姆国王给我一个交代
Keep her as a prisoner until King Akeem gives me my answer.
教教这小妞什麽叫尊重
Teach this girl some respect.
停车
Halt!
带我去圣日教堂
Take me to the Church of the Holy Jubilation.
你得先下载应用程式
Sorry, pal. You're gonna have to go into the app.
叫车服务应用程式
You can get a Lyft Lux.
现在是尖峰时间比较贵 找找优♥惠♥码
It's rush hour surge pricing. You might want to look for a promo code.
打架不适合美女和公主
Fighting is not for pretty girls and princesses.
你的父王应该教教你礼貌
Your king and father should have taught you to be more polite,
不要像个泼妇
not so nasty.
救救你自己吧 你的狒狒蛋蛋都出汗了
Defend yourself, you sweat from a baboon's balls.
蜜卡
Meeka!
你现在应该愿意 用外交手段解决问题了吧
Perhaps now you would like to solve your problems diplomatically.
你有在听吗
Do I have your attention?
我在听
I'm listening.
年轻人 该上演重头戏了
Now it's time for the main event, young folks.
拉维尔强森 你愿意…
Lavelle Junson, do you take...
停
Stop!
你是一路从非洲跑来吗
Did you run here all the way from Africa?
拉维尔 你不能这麽做
Lavelle, you cannot do this.
你不能背弃你的家族
And you cannot turn your back on your family.
家族 你给我听好了
-Family?! Let me tell you something! -Oh!
这小子是我养大的