美国之旅2（2021）

He beat that Filipino boy ass.
帕宽多、帕曼多
"Pack-a-quando," "Pack-a-mondo."
管他叫什麽名字 他打爆那小子 克拉伦斯
Wh-Whatever his name is, he beat that boy ass, Clarence.
他还打爆那个爱尔兰疯子 康纳麦葛瑞格…
And he beat that meshuggener Conor McGregor, the Irishman.
为了黑人 一定要的
Yeah, 'cause he had to do that for the blacks.
现在这种政♥治♥氛围
In this political climate,
白人不能揍爆黑人 会有暴♥动♥
Black man can't be taking no ass-whipping from no white man. Would've caused a riot.
是说我宁愿暴♥动♥ 我想要一台平面电视
I was ready to riot anyway. I wanted to get me one of them flat-screen TVs.
见鬼了 看看谁来了
Well, I'll be damned! Look who done come up in here.
昆塔金德和伊波拉
Hey, it's Kunta Kinte and Ebola.
–饥荒和血钻石 –纳尔逊曼德拉和温妮
-Famine and Blood Diamond. -Nelson Mandela and Winnie.
挨饿宝宝脸上爬满苍蝇
Those hungry babies with the flies on their face.
喂喂喂
-Hey. Oh, oh, oh, oh. -Whoa, whoa.
太超过罗
That's too much, man. You stepped over the line, now.
我们不开挨饿宝宝的玩笑
We don't be talking that kind of shit about the hungry babies.
–给我滚下我的椅子 –真不政确
You gonna have to get out my chair talking that kind of shit. Politically incorrect.
–你要打屁屁了 –打他 史维兹
Somebody need to whip your ass. Mm-hmm. Get up and whip him, Sweets.
付钱不要那麽粗鲁
Hey, don't be putting the money in my hand all rough.
快滚 以後买♥♥电剪自己剪
Take your ass out of here. You buy you a Flowbee and cut your own damn hair from now on.
我可以把那小鬼骂到臭头
Right now I could rip a new ass in that kid.
见到你们真开心 这社区好像变繁荣了
It is so good to see you. Your neighborhood seems to be thriving.
中产阶级化的结果
Oh, that's that gentrification.
都是黑人的时候 什麽屁都没有
You know, when the colored man here, this neighborhood didn't have shit.
後来白人搬进来 开始有咖啡馆
When the white man move in, they got their coffeehouses
遛狗公园
and their dog parks,
我在第一大道的褐砂石宅 可以卖♥♥到一千万美元
and my brownstone on Foch Boulevard is worth $10 million.
最好是啦
Your brownstone ain't worth no ten million.
明明就可以
-My brownstone is, too, worth $10 million!
我要卖♥♥掉 买♥♥台特斯拉来玩玩
And I'm gonna sell it and get me a Tesla.
跟上次比起来 美国变了好多
America has certainly changed since our last visit.
你们的黑人总统终於团结了 这个伟大国家
Your Black president finally united this great country.
但现在一切都毁了
Yeah, but it's all gone to hell now.
人难免一死 只是不知道会怎麽死
We all gonna die. Just don't know how.
肯定是纳粹干的好事
It's gonna be the Nazis.
纳粹回来了 他们扮成电商百思买♥♥的技客小队
Nazis are back,
打算宰了大家
but now they dress like the Best Buy Geek Squad
纳粹就在你身边
and they want to kill people.
你有发现吗 王子
Anybody could be a Nazi. You ever notice that, Prince?
阿基姆现在是非洲国王了
Akeem now is an African king.
见鬼了
Well, I'll be damned.
你有小孩吗
You got any kids?
我有小孩
I got kids.
其实我有个孙女 本来是孙子
In fact, I got one granddaughter used to be my grandson.
现在医生可以把小♥弟♥弟♥变小妹妹
They can turn your penis into a vagina now.
说是科学啦
It's science.
还可以治疗你们非洲人的垂奶
I bet they could fix them long, sloppy titties y'all got in Africa.
现在都不能乱揉胸了 会因此被炒鱿鱼
You can't even squeeze a tit nowadays. It'll get you fired.
很遗憾你们不能再随心所欲 触碰女人的身体
I'm so sorry you can no longer indiscriminately touch a woman's body at your every whim.
没差啦 我年轻时玩够了
Oh, it's okay. I got it in when I was young.
话说你回来干嘛 国王先生
So what you doing back here, Idiot Amin?
我回来是有目的的
I am actually here with a purpose.
我发现我可能有个私生子在这里
I have just discovered that I may have a bastard son
上次来的时候制♥造♥的
here in this land, conceived during my last visit.
法律就是有办法把他们抓回来
The long arm of the family court bring 'em back every time.
她拿到多少赡养费
How much child support she getting from you?
国王才不用付什麽赡养费
The king pays no child support.
30年没付赡养费 你还回来
No child support for 30 years, and you came back?
你白♥痴♥喔
-You's a dummy!
我儿子失去父亲太久了
My son has been without a father for far too long.
我看过他
I've seen him.
这孩子老在花♥园♥前鬼混
That's the kid that's always out in front of the Garden.
他在麦迪逊广场花♥园♥卖♥♥黄牛票
He scalp tickets down at Madison Square Garden.
现在说不定在喔 红色风暴队有比赛
He probably over there right now working the St. John's game.
他们的吉祥物是只大火鸡
Their mascot is a big turkey.
不是啦
Oh, hell no, it ain't.
是雷鸟啦
It's a thunderbird.
“跟着雷鸟走”
"Follow the thunderbird."
看过来 我有五张门票
Hey! Come on, y'all! I got five!
五张门票
Got five!
五张今晚中田纳西大学队球赛门票
Got five tickets to the Middle Tennessee game tonight!
麦迪逊花♥园♥广场 圣约翰大学－中田纳西大学
Come on, y'all! You want it, I got it!
我有五张中田纳西大学队球赛门票
Hey, I got five... Hey, I got five tickets to the Middle Tennessee State game, man.
–不用 –干嘛这样
-No. -Come on, yo.
买♥♥票看无薪学生球员打球不好吗
What better way to spend your night than paying to watch unpaid student athletes?
塞米 你看
Semmi, look.
他可能是我的私生子耶
It is my potential bastard son.
阿基姆 你现在是萨慕达国王
Akeem. You are king of Zamunda.
全世界都认得你尊贵的容颜
Your noble visage is known around the world.
你不能跟之前一样在大街上乱跑
You cannot stroll down the street like we did years ago.
来喔 中田纳西大学队门票
Come on, Middle Tennessee State. Come on, y'all.
他们的中锋有226公分高
They got a seven-foot-five center.
一不小心就撞到他膝盖
Catch him before his knees pop.
哈罗
Hello.
要买♥♥门票吗
You want some tickets, man?
不用 谢谢
No, thank you.
我是阿基姆乔佛国王
I am King Akeem Joffer,
萨慕达国王
king of Zamunda.
你一定是…
And I believe that you...
你叫什麽名字
What is your name?
拉维尔
It's Lavelle.
拉维尔强森
-Lavelle Junson.
拉维尔强森…
-...Lavelle Junson,
你是萨慕达王位继承人
are the heir to the throne of Zamunda.
我的长子
My firstborn child
我唯一的儿子
and my only son.
没错 儿子
Yes, my son.
蛋糕插上蜡烛了吗
Are you putting the candles on the cake?
蛋糕上要插31根蜡烛
31 candles. I need 31 candles on that cake.
盒子里只有10根
Oh, well, there's only ten in the pack, so...
什麽意思 为什麽只有10根
What do you mean, only ten? Why is there only ten?
我零钱不够再买♥♥一盒
'Cause I did not have enough change left over to get another pack of candles.
你外甥生日欸
It's your nephew's birthday.
拜托变出31根蜡烛
Look, just please try to make 31 candles.
把蜡烛切两半
Cut the candles in half.
这样只有20根
That's just 20. It's...
小子
Cuzzo! Happy birthday!
–生日快乐 –生日快乐
-Happy birthday!
生日快乐
Happy birthday, cuz!
生日快乐
Hey, baby, happy birthday!
老天爷
Oh, my God.
我的非洲哥
My African.
就说他会回来吧
I told you he was gonna come back!
你干嘛不说会带人回来
Boy, why you ain't tell me you was bringing company?
我打扫一下家里
-I would've cleaned up. -Uh-huh.
你认识这男的
-So you know this man?
我当然认识这男的
-I definitely know this man.
我跟这男的超熟的
I know this man all the way live.
我跟这男的熟到爆
You know, I know this man all up in the crevice.
是的 很高兴又见面了…
-Yes, it's, uh, very good to see you again...
玛丽
-Mary.
玛丽
-Mary.
–圣女那个玛丽 –宝贝 可以了
-Like the Virgin. -Oh. Okay, baby. All right.
–她才不是圣女 –不是
-Virgin? Not our Mary. -She ain't no virgin.
–对了 –对啦
-You know that. -You know what? That's right.
你们是那两个用怪招把妹的家伙
Y'all was doing that little weak pickup game.
他好像是什麽王子之类的
I think he was supposed to be, like, the prince or something.
他现在不是王子了
He is not a prince anymore.
他现在是国王了
He is our king.
现在是国王了啊
-Oh, he's a king now.
–国王 –好吧 国王
-A king? Oh, okay, King.
所以你的“权杖”还是一样光滑吗