哈佛少女的快乐清单（2016）

Would you-- would you be upset?
也许会吧
Maybe.
我是说，我不确定…
I mean, I'm not sure...
那，我们要做吗？
So, are we doing this, then?
好像是啊
We do seem to be, yeah.
这书架挺棒的
It's a great bookcase.
是啊
Yup.
我们所有的书都放这里
That's where we keep all the books.
哇，你在哪里学到那样亲吻的？
Wow, where did you even learn how to kiss like that?
哈佛
Harvard.
可恶 麻省理工没那堂课
Damn, I don't think M.I.T. had that course.
但你做得不错 - 那好
You're doing okay. - Okay.
你是第一次解开女生的衬衫吗？
is this your first time unbuttoning a girl's shirt?
不，但这是我第一次
No, but it's my first time
从这个角度解开男生的衬衫
unbuttoning a man's shirt from this angle.
我穿的是男生的衬衫？
I'm actually wearing a guy's shirt?
对，我觉得是
I believe so, yeah.
你怎么知道？ - 钮扣啊
How can you tell? - The buttons.
女生的钮扣在左边
Buttons on the left for a woman,
男生的在右边
buttons on the right for men.
你看…
Look.
喔，天啊 - 你看…
Oh... my God, - Watch this.
我怎么会不知道？
how did I not know this?
看吧，你看不见…
See? You can't see,
但我眼睛闭了一下
but I had my eyes closed for second.
嗯… - 怎么了？
Um-- - What?
怎么回事？ - 是她吗？
What's the matter? - Is that her?
对，是她
Yes, it is.
她正看着我们…
She's watching us.
不，她没有，那只是照片
No, no she isn't. It's just a photo.
只是照片
It's just a photo.
等等，停！
Wait, stop.
她把「也」写错了
She spelled "too" wrong.
提醒打给有线电视，我毛爱你
这个…
Yeah...
对，她的拼字很差
Yeah, she's a terrible speller.
我们…不如
Let's-- why don't we
就闭上眼睛，试着放松点…
just close our eyes and just try to relax?
好吗？
Okay?
我…我觉得头在晕
Oh-- I-- I feel dizzy.
好吧
Okay.
我就知道我们不该在我家做
I knew we shouldn't have tried to do this at my place.
这些照片之类的东西很煞风景
All the photos and stuff are a real mood killer.
你知道还有什么也煞风景吗？
You know what else is a mood killer?
有未婚妻
Having a fiancée.
你怎么有办法在亲朋好友面前
How are you going to say vows,
说出神圣的誓言
sacred vows in front of everyone you know,
发誓你会尊敬、钟爱、珍惜这个女人
that you will honor and love and cherish this woman,
放弃所有其他女人
forsaking all others,
但你显然不尊重她
when you clearly don't respect her,
尊重不就是一切的基础吗？
which is the foundation of all of those things?
你不会离开她，对吧？
You're not going to leave her, are you?
我…我真的喜欢你
I-- I really like you.
我真的认为我们适合在一起
I really think we could be good together.
你值得一个同等程度的人
You deserve to be stimulated by someone
让你快乐，我也是
who's on equal footing with you, and so do I.
那就结束这虚假的婚约
Then end this facade of an engagement.
我会的！
I will!
我是说，你知道的，我可能会…
I mean, you know, I might.
我才刚认识你！
I just met you!
不是为了我！是为了你，为了她！
Not for me! For you, for her!
听着，我以为这是你要的…
Look, I thought that you wanted this.
就因为「你要」不表示是对的
Just because you want something, doesn't make it right.
拜托，你小天使吗？
Oh, Jesus, Pollyanna.
这是现实人生
This is real life.
现实人生很复杂
Real life is complicated.
别这么幼稚
Don't be such a child.
凯莉，我认为…
Professor Harrison: I think this has been
这是我所拥有最棒的学期
my best semester ever, Carrie.
我也觉得
Me too.
差点忘了，有东西要送你
Oh, I forgot, I have something for you.
喔，是吗？
Oh, yeah?
嗯
Mmm-hmm.
这个…
It's um--
不算礼物，算是借给你的…
it's more of a loan than a gift.
我想你会想读初版
I thought you might like to read the first edition version.
但你读完得还我
But, I need it back
因为它对我而言意义非凡
because it's really special to me.
真贴心，谢谢你
How sweet, thank you.
我保证会好好珍惜
I promise I'll take good care of it.
你让我很快乐，你知道吧？
You make me happy, you know that?
你也让我很快乐
You make me happy too.
嗯…
Um...
你知道什么会真的让我快乐吗？
You know what would really, really make me happy?
什么？
What's that?
倘若你能为我说句话…
If you could say this one thing for me...
说什么？
What thing?
这我说不出口
I can't say that.
为什么？
Why not?
说嘛，你这么有学习天份
Come on, you're such a quick learner.
而且只是一件小事
And it's just one little thing.
你只要说一次就好
You only have to say it once.
你可以…慢慢说
You can-- I mean, you can start slow.
听起来很不对劲，不像我
It won't sound right. It won't sound like me.
当然会
Sure it will.
就说吧
Just say it.
你要什么？
What do you want?
我…
I...
我没办法，太丢脸了
I can't. It's too embarrassing.
你认真的吗？
Are you serious?
你为什么不能做我要求的事？
Why can't you just do what I ask?
因为我不想
Because I don't want to.
而且老实说，我觉得有点贬低人
And frankly, I find it a bit demeaning.
这不是贬低，只是好玩
It's not demeaning, it's fun.
对我来说不好玩
Not for me, it isn't.
你知道吗？我努力过了
You know what? I tried.
但如果你连一件小事都不愿意，那…
But if you can't just do this one thing for me, then--
那怎样？
Then what?
真是的，戴维，你干嘛因为这件事
Jesus, David, why are you acting like
表现得像神经病一样？
such psycho about this?
别这么幼稚，凯莉
Don't be such a child, Carrie.
我替你叫出租车
I'll call you a cab.
（麦特来电）
可恶！
Shit!
不！
No!
不要，不要…
No, no, no, no.
凯瑟琳！
Katherine!
噢！
Ugh!
对不起！
I'm sorry!
我不懂你要干嘛
I don't understand.
我要你收回去
I need you to take him back.
我们不接受退货
We can't accept returns.
他孤零零的，我不能这样对他
He's all alone. I can't do that to him.
是你告诉我鱼是社交动物的
And you're the one that told me that fish were social.
我已经害死他的朋友
I already killed his friend,
我不想也害死他
I don't wanna kill him too.
你害死谁？
You killed who?
凯瑟琳，是个意外
Katherine. It was an accident.
你吞了她吗？
Did you eat her?
什么？没有…
What? No. What?
什么啊？
Lots of people eat goldfish on dares.
很多人爱打赌吞金鱼