哈佛少女的快乐清单（2016）

Well, I'm still four years ahead of my peers.
你要我适应不良吗？
Do you want me to be maladjusted?
很简单的，我保证
It'll be easy, I promise.
夜间工作，校对诉讼书
It's a night job, proofreading legal briefs.
何况你很爱阅读
You love reading.
但我没爱校对啊
Not proofreading,
更别说校对诉讼书了
and certainly not legal briefs.
至少工作环境很安静啦
Well, at least it'll be quiet.
你若不想，就不必跟人说话
You won't have to talk to a soul if you don't want to.
除非你有更好的机会，那就算了
If you have a better offer, by all means.
不是说要「慢慢来」吗？
What happened to "Take some time"?
亲爱的，已经一年了
Well, it has been a year, darling.
而且，说真的…
And to be absolutely honest,
如果你能有实质的作为
it would really help if you could
才会有帮助
bring something to the table, so to speak.
没有别的办法了吗？
Isn't there some other way?
如果你喜欢，也可以找个室友
You could get a roommate instead if you prefer.
那好吧
Okay, fine.
我接下这个工作
I'll take the job.
有人在吗？
Hello?
你在听什么？ - 嗯？
What you listening to? - Hmm?
等等
Wait, isn't that from Bugs Bunny?
那是兔宝宝的音乐吗？
是（清晨）葛利格的（皮尔金组曲）
It's "Morning." "Peer Gynt," Edvard Grieg.
我很确定是（乐一通）的歌♥
I'm pretty sure that's from one of the "Looney Tunes."
你是哪位？
Who are you?
道格
Douglas. - Do you work here?
你在…这里工作？
不…
No, I just didn't have anyone
我只是没人陪我过感恩节
to spend Thanksgiving with,
所以我才在大楼里闲晃
so I've been wandering around the building
希望找到人一起分享火鸡大餐
hoping to find someone to share my turducken.
是咧
Right.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
你就是凯莉皮尔比，对吧？
You're Carrie Pilby, right?
可能喔
I might be.
有时候文件经过复印传真
Sometimes when the documents get copied and/or faxed,
句点会看起来像逗点
the periods end up looking like commas.
H看起来像K
And the "Hs" end up looking like "Ks,"
之类的
You know, that sort of thing.
难怪律师一小时要收一万多块
No wonder lawyers charge 400 bucks an hour,
都在雇人玩专注纸牌游戏
they pay people to play "Concentration."
不会吧，抱歉，让道格先找到你
Oh, no. I'm sorry. Douglas got to you first.
我总是想抢在他之前和新人说话
I always try to get to the new people
但他动作总快如闪电
before he does, but he's quick as lighting.
哇呜
Ooh.
我是塔拉
I'm Tara.
我是凯莉
Carrie.
我想你也发现
I wish I could say he's more
他很「特别」
the exception to the rule,
但我还能说什么呢？
but what can I tell you?
我们这工作常会引来怪咖
This job attracts a strange breed.
显然是
Clearly.
你会适应良好的
You're gonna fit in just fine.
过节很无聊吧
Holidays are a drag, huh?
对某些人来说是很无聊
For some people, yes.
你又是怎么过节呢？
What did you do for yours?
没怎么过
Nothing.
就…去上班
Just-- just went to work.
什么？你找到工作了？
What? You got a job?
是我爸找给我的
Well, my dad got it for me.
像是安慰奖
Kind of a consolation prize
补偿没过到的感恩节
for not coming to Thanksgiving.
但我至少不必吃干掉的火鸡肉
But I didn't have to eat any dry turkey
或跟任何人说话
or talk to anyone.
好极了
Wonderful.
那么，清单列得如何？
So, how's it going with the list?
什么清单？
What list?
我们上次谈到的清单
The list we talked about last time.
我不记得有什么清单
I have no recollection of this list.
你向来过目不忘
You've got a photographic memory.
那是有选择性的
It's selective. - Excuse.
借口
I've been very busy.
因为我一直在忙
Excuse.
借口
I haven't had time to--
我根本没时间…
借口！
Excuse! - Stop saying--
不要再说了…
Excuse.
都是借口
Well, not to worry.
好啦，别担心
我早帮你写好了
I made one for you.
你来念吧
Go on, read it.
「参加约会」…
"Go on a date."
「交个朋友」…
"Make a friend.
「找个人一起跨年倒数」
Spend New Year's Eve with someone.
「养只宠物」…
Get a pet."
有东西照顾会有帮助
It'll help to have something to care for.
继续念…
Keep going.
「做小时候爱做的事」…
"Do something you loved as a child."
像是什么？
Like what?
什么都可以啊
Well, it could be anything.
有什么是你六岁时会做
What did you do when you were six
现在不会再做的事？
that you don't do anymore?
我六岁时，最喜欢写一大堆
I wrote several strongly-worded letters
措辞强烈的信去投诉石油公♥司♥
to oil companies when I was six.
哇，好吧
Wow, okay.
你不再允许自己放纵的嗜好呢？
How about an indulgence
that you no longer allow yourself?
我以前爱喝樱桃汽水
I used to love drinking cherry soda.
太好了，就是这个
Excellent, there you go.
太好了，所以我只要喝个樱桃汽水
Great, I'll drink a cherry soda
全部的问题就会消失了呢
and all my problems will just disappear.
下一条呢？
What's next?
「阅读一本喜欢的书」…
"Read favorite book."
好！你有吗？
Ah! Do you have one?
有啊，沙林杰（麦田捕手作者）的…
Yeah, "Franny and Zooey," Salinger.
（法兰妮与卓依）
但书不在我手上，我借给别人了
But I don't have it. I lent it to someone.
你可以拿回来吗？
Can you get it back?
我不知道
I don't know.
那就试试看啊
Well, look, just try.
看进行得怎么样，尽力就好
See how it goes, do what you can,
一步一步来…
one at a time.
你为什么这么想要我做这件事？
Why do you want me to do this so much?
因为整天窝在家里躺在床上
Because staying at home in bed all day
并不会让你变得快乐
won't make you happy.
你需要出门，去认识人
You need to get out and meet people,
展开有意义的交谊关系
begin some meaningful relationships.
也许当你踏出去
Maybe if you put yourself out there,
做自己喜欢做的事…
doing things you enjoy...
嗯，（法兰妮与卓依），我的爱书
Hmm, "Franny and Zooey," one of my favorites.
你的品味不错嘛
You've got good taste.
很好，欢迎各位
Well, welcome
这是英国文学303课，现代主义作家
to English 303, the Modernists.
我是哈里森教授，你们是一群…
I'm Professor Harrison, and you are a bunch of kids
自以为是，但什么都不是
who think you already know everything
且不懂现实人生
but haven't even got a clue about
真正样貌的屁孩
what life is really like beyond the ivy walls.
生活是一连串
It's banal, nauseating carousel
无聊、恶心不停歇的责任与失望
of responsibility and disappointments, one after another.
但是，我的毛衣柔软无比
But, my sweater is soft and the rain
落在窗外的雨水也蛮美的
streaking down the window is kinda lovely,
所以我想我还不会自杀
so I guess I won't off myself just yet.
现代主义作家 尤其乔伊斯和吴尔芙