烛台背后（2013）

你这样做是个错误 听我说
You're making a mistake here. Listen to me.
我在那个老玻璃好莱坞的家工作过，乔！
I worked for that old fag in his Hollywood house! Joe!
噢，我不是那意思
Oh, I'm not saying it for that.
我是说那个地方对斯科特来说不安全！
I'm saying it's not a fit place for Scott!
你不了解他 不像我这么了解他
You don't know him like I know him.
这是你想追求的生活吗？
Is this the kind of life you want for yourself?
这只是份工作，罗斯
It's a job, Rose.
而且薪水比打两份工作都高
And it pays better than getting two.
是啊，你知道人们管那个工作叫什么
Yeah, and you know what they call that kind of job.
不是你们想的那样
That's not what this is.
他很老了
Look, he's old.
他不是因为那个才喜欢我
He doesn't like me just for that.
你真的喜欢这个人吗？
Do you even like this man?
是的 我真的喜欢
Yeah. I really do.
他很孤独
He's lonely.
我可以照顾他
I can take care of him.
他可以照顾我
And he can take care of me.
我的双眼警醒着呢 罗斯
My eyes are open, Rose.
我保证
I promise.
托森先生！
Mr. Thorson!
我是西摩·海勒，李的经纪人
Seymour Heller, Lee's manager.
他已经在等你了
Lee's expecting you.
味道还可以吗？
Is it any good?
好吃极了
It's amazing.
我喜欢下厨
I love to cook.
我们很快就会成为两个胖墩了
We'll be a couple of fat biddies in no time.
我会很高兴 我喜欢吃
Great, 'cause I love to eat.
过来这儿
Come here, you.
她会看到我们的
She's going to see us.
人们只看他们想看到的，斯科特
People only see what they want to see, Scott.
哦，天啊！哦，我的天啊！
Oh, God! Oh, God!
哦，我的天
Oh, my God.
我们明天就要去购物了
We'll go shopping tomorrow.
在做饭和做♥爱♥后，
After cooking and sex,
疯狂购物让我每天有力气起床
I think shopping's the reason to get up every day.
它帮到了很多人
And it helps so many people.
我能问你一个问题吗？
Do you mind if I ask you something?
你怎么能…硬这么久？
How do you stay hard for so long? I mean
这都已经是我们午餐后的第四次了
that was the fourth time since lunch.
你让我感觉好年轻
You make me feel so young.
我有换过器官
And I've had implants.
也有很强的性冲动
I've had quite a drive, you know, as well
我有过不举问题
and you know, I've had problems.
当你有很强的性♥欲♥
And it's a terrible thing when you have such a desire
但道具不起作用
and the equipment doesn't work.
这就像
It's like
对着天生耳聋的人唱歌♥一样
wanting to sing and being tone deaf.
从来没有人知道
And no one knows.
我只告诉了你一个
You're the only one I told.
知道你对我有多重要了吗？
You see what you mean to me?
李，我觉得…
Lee, I thinkjust a minute.
有件事我得告诉你
I should just tell you
我是双性恋
I'm bisexual.
我也喜欢女人
I like women, too.
那你很走运啊
Well, good for you.
我也爱♥女♥人♥！
I love women!
真希望我能像你这么变通
I wish I could be that flexible.
她们似乎好应付多了
Make things so much easier.
我受够了收到粉丝来信
I am so sick of getting fan mail
抱怨我和桑雅·赫尼的订婚
about my engagement to Sonja Henie.
就像我真的会跟一个溜冰的结婚一样
As if I would marry an ice skater.
拜托 她可没大腿
PleaseI mean, those thighs.
不，我是从一开始就喜欢男人了
No, I was a goner from my first time.
他是格林贝的码头卸装工
He was a Green Bay Packer.
我还在沙龙的时候 他会来听我弹奏
He came to hear me play at one of my saloons.
我完全不会看漏他
I couldn't miss him
他有人猿泰山的身体
the guy was the size of the door.
我的第一次就是这样失去的
That's how I lost my virginity.
是不是浪漫？
Isn't that romantic?
我试过让自己喜欢女人
You know, I tried to make myself love women.
我盯着女人的乳♥头♥ 和他们的臀部，
I'd stare at women's bosoms and their backsides,
试着感觉什么
you know, trying to feel something.
我知道作为天主教♥徒♥
You see, I knew from being Catholic
我这样的男孩会被怎样对待
what happened to boys like me.
我去做过忏悔
And I went to confession.
当然我没法讲出所有的事情
Of course, I couldn't confess everything.
但是问题在于，根据天主教义
The problem was, according to Catholics
不忏悔赎罪 也被认为是一种罪行
not confessing a sin is also considered a sin
所以，你知道，我注定被诅咒 忏不忏悔都一样
so, you know, I was damned if I do, damned if I didn't.
我不敢相信你仍然是天主教
I can't believe you're still Catholic.
我发过誓
Devout.
我的转折点
The turning point for me
发生在肯尼迪被刺杀后
was Kennedy getting assassinated.
我没日没夜的工作，我病倒了
I was working nonstop and I was sick.
我觉得很糟糕
I felt terrible.
我们后来发现
We found out later
那些厚重的造型服装被送去干洗时
that when those heavy costumes I wear get dry cleaned
他们使用了一种含氟的洗涤液
they use this tetrachloride solution.
我会出汗 ，会渗透进我的血液
I would sweat and it'd get absorbed
让我的肾衰竭
into my bloodstream and shut down my kidneys.
你能想象吗？
Can you imagine?
可当时谁也不知道
But no one knew.
所以，我在电视上看着被刺杀报道
So I'm watching the assassination on TV
我想好吧 至少我可以休息几天
and I think at least I'll have a few days off.
因为这个周末没人会来看我的演出了
I mean, nobody's going to come see me perform this weekend.
但是，没有 西摩仍然让我工作
But, no. No, Seymour made me work.
他们以为我要死了
They thought I was dying.
我不知道自己发生了什么
They couldn't figure out what was wrong.
我变得全身浮肿
I mean, everything's bloated.
快被自己的体液淹没了
I'm drowning in my own fluids.
他们给我做了透析
They put me on dialysis and I'm thinking
我在想 唯一能让我度过难关的就剩祷告了
the only thing that's going to get me through this is prayer.
在这36小时的治疗过程中..
Sometime within these 36 hours of treatment
我醒来有时会看到一个修女
I wake up, and there's this nun
穿着一袭白色的长袍 坐在我床前
in an allwhite habit sitting beside my bed.
我说 我想要祈祷，
I said I wanted to pray,
她跟我说别浪费力气了
and she told me not to waste my strength.
她向我保证 我会活下去
And she assured me I would live.
第二天，我的肾恢复运作了
Next day, my kidneys start to work.
医生们都感到惊讶！
The doctors were amazed!
他们承认已经放弃希望了
They admitted to me they had given up hope.
所以我请求见一下这个修女
So I asked to see the nun
感谢她给予我力量，
to thank her for giving me strength,
而他们说，"哦，不，
and they said, "Oh, no,
这里没有修女符合我的描述"
there's no nun here that fits that description."
"这里没有修女穿一袭白色的袍子"
"There are no nuns here that wear allwhite habits."
于是我知道了
And I knew.
我知道我的生命不可能被赦免
I knew my life would not have been spared
假如身为同志像教会说的那样是一种罪
if being gay was the sin that the Church said it was.
我被拯救 因为上帝俯视我
I was saved because God looks upon me
给了我特别优待
with special favor.
那个修女就是信使
That nun was a messenger.
哇
Wow.
不可思议吧？
Isn't that something?
不过斯科特 知道吗 男人女人 谁会在意？
But, Scottmen, womenyou know, who cares?
重要的是做你自己
What's important is to be yourself.
你只需要做好自己 我的宝贝男孩
You just be who you are, baby boy.
别全吃光
Don't eat all of this.
不然你又要发火自己的内♥裤♥紧绷了
You'll be angry that your panties are tight.
阿哦
Ahooh.