只想爱你（2023）

I had no idea you were coming.
原来妳爸妈没跟妳说
So your parents didn't tell you, okay?
他们邀请我时，我第一个问题就是
Yeah, you know, the first thing I asked them
“小碧知道吗？
要是不知道就尴尬了”
when they invited me was, "Does B know?"
'Cause otherwise this would be really fucking awkward.
现在还真是尴尬死了
And now it is fucking awkward.
不会啦
不会
No, no, not at all.
你就像家人一样，少了你才尴尬呢
I'm in a lot of love.
No, you're like family.
It'd be effing awkward if you weren't here.
真高兴你来了
我真替妳们开心
I'm so glad you're here.
I'm so happy for you two.
恭喜妳们
谢了
Hey, congratulations.
Yeah, thanks.
好
Right?
很高兴见到你
我也很高兴见到妳
It's great to see you.
It's great to see you too.
我们都要去爬山
We're all going on a hike,
想去的人，我们得出发了
so whoever wants to come with, we gotta move out.
我们出发吧
Let's move out.
班？来见见强纳森
Ben, meet Jonathan.
嘿，老兄，我是班
Oh, hey, man.
你是彼特和克劳蒂亚的朋友吧？
I'm Ben.
Hey, oh, Pete and Claudia's friend, right?
对
也是小碧的朋友
Also friends with Bea, among other things.
还有别的
好，很高兴认识你
Yeah, it's nice to meet you.
在车上还有很多时间
能让你们胡搞瞎搞
Okay, plenty of enough time in the car to do whatever the fuck this is.
快点，我们走
Come on, let's go!
好
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
我们得想个计划
对，妳超假的
We need to come up with a game plan.
Yeah, you are so terrible at this.
什么？
What?
我们要去爬山
We're doing this thing!
女儿，很抱歉
Honey, I'm sorry.
我知道应该先问妳
但我们必须邀请他
I know we should have asked you, but we had to invite you.
没关系，我很高兴他来了
Oh, it's totally fine. I'm glad he's here.
我爱他，荷莉也爱他
I love him and Holly loves him.
真的吗？
真的
Really?
Yeah.
太好了，你们相处一下
远离现实生活
Great, okay. So we're spending a little time together away from the real world
看看能不能重修旧好
重燃爱火、重生
and see if you rekindle, re-spark, re-bark.
不，妈，不是啦
Oh, no, Mom, guys, no.
我忘了告诉你们，但我跟班在交往
I totally forgot to tell you, but I'm with Ben.
那家伙？
班看起来像肯尼
你要来吗？
Do you want to come?
我应该会留下来骂骂妳爸妈
I think I'm going to hang back and yell at your parents.
玩得开心点
Have fun.
所以我们是刚交往，还是藏很久了？
Alright, so is it like we just got together or we've been sneaking around?
我知道了
Oh, I got it. What if we ran into each other at Chipotle,
就说我们在墨西哥餐厅碰到
像《小姐与流氓》那样吃卷饼
不要
lady in the tramp, the burrito?
No.
这又没有多困难
This can't be that hard.
比你想的难多了，我爸妈还不相信
It's harder than you think. My parents don't even believe it yet.
妳刚刚才告诉他们的
You told them five seconds ago.
他们知道我不会跟你这种人约会
They know I would never go out with a guy like you.
妳这辈子只跟一个人交往过
You've been with one guy your entire life.
强纳森比你好太多了
Jonathan's a better man than you'll ever be.
那妳为什么甩掉他？
他完全是妳的理想型
And yet you left him.
Which is why exactly? Because he seems like he checks all your boxes.
你不知道我的理想型，也不会知道
Okay, you don't know my boxes and you never will.
先搞定这件事
Just figure this out, please.
好
Okay.
我们在大家面前疯狂接吻
We just suck face in front of everybody.
反正他们自以为是媒人
Half of them think they set us up anyway.
那样太过火了，我们得低调一点
No, that's too much. We need to do something that's more hidden
感觉更逼真
而不是渣男利用婚礼打炮
so it feels more real, not some fuckboy wedding hookup.
妳一直叫我渣男，好像那是侮辱
You're calling me a fuckboy like it's an insult?
我可是敢做敢当
I own that shit.
我们来晒恩爱好了
Let's just be affectionate.
我知道你不擅长这种事
I know it's a foreign concept for you.
我可以晒恩爱
I can be affectionate.
我会用恩爱晒死妳
I'll affectionate the shit out of you.
真不敢相信妳爸妈邀了强纳森
I can't believe your parents invited Jonathan.
这下得帮他找座位了
那小碧呢？
Now I have to find a table to sit him at.
她没问题，她坐在我们这桌
What about Bea?
No, no, she's fine. She's sitting with us at our table.
我是说她已经因为分手而陷入低潮了
No, I'm talking about how she's already at a low point because she's going through a breakup
我不知道她在学校怎么样
她都不谈那些了
and I don't even know what's happening with school.
She never even talks about it anymore.
让他跟表亲坐在一起好了
I guess I could put up with the cousins.
克劳蒂亚
Why?
快到了
You alright?
哇靠
Oh, shit.
Wow.
你们看
Check it out, guys!
真不错
Nice!
对
好美哦
Yeah!
Beautiful!
看吧？我就说会很美
真不错
See, I told you it was going to be good.
Man, that's nice.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
真的好美
没错
So beautiful.
There it is.
感受这股宁静
Feel the serenity.
蛮壮观的吧
Pretty spectacular, hey?
太神奇了
It's amazing.
Alright, your turn.
来吧，好戏上场
哇
Wow.
这里真的好浪漫
This is just so romantic.
用鼻子蹭我的脖子
Okay, nuzzle my neck.
好
Okay.
贴上来
Get in there.
Damn, you are short.
靠，妳真矮
你没高到能说这种话
You are not tall enough to say that.
Oh.
你会痒哦？
我是在演戏
Oh, are you ticklish?
No, I'm acting.
像小北鼻一样？
Like a toddler?
好了，妳可以停了
No, go away.
Okay, I can use that.
求我停下来啊，小混♥蛋♥
Beg me.
Beg me to stuff you in the butt.
住手
Stop!
让我来
Just let me do it.
请准许我把左手放在妳的右臀上
Permission to put my left hand on your right buttock.
我准
Granted.
Too hard.
太用力了
抱歉，要有说服力嘛
Sorry.
You gotta sell it.
别划圈圈
Okay, not in circles.
又不是在擦神灯
It's not a magic lamp.
What?
你现在根本在玩捏捏乐
Okay, now you're just playing bop it.
我又没当众袭臀过
废话，让我试试
I've never rubbed a bopper show.
Clearly, you've tried.
你没穿内♥裤♥吗？
Are you not wearing underwear?
这是泳裤，我在度假耶
It's a swimsuit.
I'm on holiday.
Oh.
好，请小心缝隙
Okay, just mind the gap.
How's that?
如何？
还不错