只想爱你（2023）

They're trying to get us together.
不可能
过来
No way.
Come here.
也许她们是怕我们太机车
毁掉她们的人生大事
Oh, maybe they want us to stop acting like assholes
so we don't ruin the biggest event of their lives.
“我们”？我们才不机车
Us?
There is no us and assholes.
毁掉客厅的人是你
You're the one who destroyed the living room.
两位可以帮我一个忙吗？
Would you two mind helping me with something?
我很不想开口，但我会很感谢你们
I hate to ask, but I'd really appreciate it.
当然好
对
Sure.
Yeah.
罗杰把他的墨镜忘在帆船上了
So Roger left his sunglasses on the sailboat.
要不是他的头接着身体
早就被我们当成保龄球了
I swear, if his head wasn't screwed on,
we'd use it as a bowling ball.
帮帮忙，游过去拿墨镜吧？
Do me a favor and swim out and get them.
右边那一艘
It's the one on the right.
我们两个？
真的需要两个人吗？
Both of us.
Is that really a two person job?
应该不用吧
Doesn't seem like it.
你们真是的
You two.
Yeah.
对
好吧，看来大家都是共犯
All right, so everyone's involved in this.
就是说啊
I know.
我觉得很不好意思
我也是
I feel bad.
我不想扫荷莉和克劳蒂亚的兴
Me too.
I don't want to bum Holly and Claudia out.
没错
Just me and you.
你不会游泳吗？
我是水男孩
Can you not swim?
I'm an excellent swimmer.
你怎么这么喘？
Why are you so out of breath?
我没事，还要游多远？
I'm fine.
How much further do you think?
你眼睛闭着？
Are your eyes closed?
我眼前一片黑
I think it's dark.
你怎么这么弱？你都有冰块腹肌了
Why are you so out of shape?
You have like a 10 pop.
我才不弱，我卧推133公斤
有一次还推到136公斤
I'm not out of shape.
I've been to 295, 300 once.
我只是没练心肺
I just don't do cardio.
天啊，你是练撩妹的
Oh my God, you're hot girl fit.
我才不是练撩妹的
I'm not hot girl fit.
好，是我不好
Okay, my bad.
我们船上见
We'll see you at the boat.
等等
Wait, wait, wait.
等等
我本来可以自己来啦…
I could have done it myself, but whatever.
随便啦，谢了
Thanks.
妈的，不会吧
No fucking way.
女儿，妳看谁来了
Honey, look who's here.
他们竟然这么做
谁啊？
I cannot believe they did this.
他是我前男友强纳森
Who is that?
That is my ex, Jonathan.
小碧
他来干嘛？
Hey, hey.
我的控制狂父母
这四个月来都希望我们复合
What is he doing here?
My Black Hawk helicopter parents
have been trying to get us back together
for the past four months.
他们叫他飞过半个地球
来参加妳姐的婚礼？
They flew him halfway across the world
to your sister's wedding?
真用心，他们来真的
That's some deep off shit.
They came to play.
我爸妈就是这样
他们觉得我错得离谱
That's my parents.
They think I'm throwing my life away.
女儿，我们先带他回去安顿一下
Honey, we're just gonna take him back
and get him all settled in.
待会见
I'll see you later.
也许我们应该宣布我们在交往
You know, maybe we should do it.
Just tell everyone we're together.
什么？
可以解决我那个问题
What?
It would solve that problem for me
还有你那个问题
and that problem for you.
我没有问题
I don't have a problem.
你显然很哈玛格丽特
You clearly want Margaret.
我没有
你有
No, I don't.
我看到你昨晚看她的眼神
我知道她伤过你的心
Yes, you do.
I saw the way you looked at her last night
and I know she broke your heart.
我们交往会让她想要她得不到的男人
She sees you're with me.
She wants what she can't have
再见啦，澳洲猛♥男♥
and then bye bye crocodile Jack.
妈的，他好快
Fuck, he's fast.
她不会吃醋的，我们又不是中学生
Making her jealous is not gonna work.
We're not in seventh grade.
相信我，我们在感情方面都像中学生
Trust me, bro.
We're all in seventh grade when it comes to this stuff.
他们都这么大费周章撮合我们了
They've already gone through all of the bullshit
trying to trick us into each other's arms.
我们就照着演吧
Let's just embrace it.
我们不可能演得出喜欢对方的样子
There's no way we can convince anyone
we actually like each other.
你说得对
我知道
Yeah, you're right.
I know.
其实我常想到我们共度的那晚
You know, I still think about that night we spent together.
少来
Shut up.
人家是说真的
No, I'm serious.
这样可能会很有趣
You know, this could be kind of fun.
我们来参加婚礼，离家几万公里远
We're at a wedding a million miles away from home.
谁知道假戏会不会真作呢？
Who knows what could happen under the cover of a masquerade.
那天晚上在你家…
And that night at your place,
无论结局如何
no matter how it ended, it was still pretty amazing.
都是很棒的一晚
够像了吧？
Convincing enough?
妈的，就这么办
Fuck it.
Let's do it.
妳能等一下吗？
Just wait.
等等
Wait.
小碧，等等
“巧智之争”
好，想去爬山的人
我们现在就得出发
Okay, okay.
Whoever wants to go on the hike, we need to leave now.
我们的进度落后了
We're running behind schedule.
我们马上来
Wait, wait, wait.
宝贝，山在那里几百万年了
晚几分钟不会死
Babe, the mountains have been there for millions of years.
A few more minutes isn't gonna hurt them.
宝贝，我知道妳想安抚我
我爱妳，谢谢妳
Baby, I know you are trying to calm me down
and I love you for it.
但这些人很难管
我需要帮手，不是随意荷莉
Thank you.
But I am hurting cats right now
and I need some help
instead of this easy breezy Martin Scorsese.
Aw, jitters.
她好紧张
记得我们的婚礼吗？
Remember our wedding?
只记得妳是地球上最美丽的新娘
Only that you're the most beautiful bride
on God's green earth.
正确答案
Right answer.
我们来了
We're coming, we're coming, we're coming.
学我，欠我一罐可乐
Jinx, you owe me a cup.
够了哦
妳牙齿上有东西
你能弄掉吗？
Oh, you have a little something in your teeth.
Oh, no, wait, get it, get it, get it.
让我把它挑掉
Yeah, let me just take that out.
成功了
Oh, I gotta get it out.
就在那里，让我来
在哪里？快弄掉
Oh, it's right there.
Get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it.
一粒胡椒
女儿
快弄掉
Honey, here he is.
他来了
嘿
Hey.
强纳森
真高兴见到妳
Jonathan.
So nice to see you.
我不知道你会来