37岁（2019）

Do you guys know how hard it is
年级相当的孩子的家长有多难吗？
to parent someone in the same grade as you?
你们有谁能帮我一下吗？
Can one of you guys help me with my life?
这是干嘛的？
What's this for?
- 我在试镜 - 色情片
- I'm auditioning for-- - Porn.
不是色情片 是一个戏剧
Not for porn, for a play.
我说 她没打电♥话♥ 也没发邮件
I mean, she hasn't called, she hasn't e-mailed.
她甚至连短♥信♥都没发
She hasn't even texted.
你为什么这么紧张？ 你没准备好
Why are you freaking out? Aren't you ready
过一段属于自己的时光？
for a little you time?
我不知道 我只是没想到属于我的时间
I don't know. I just didn't think me time
- 会如此孤独 - 十分感谢
- would feel this lonely. - Thanks a lot.
好吧 拜托 你们能明白我的意思
Okay, come on. You know what I mean.
我觉得你需要表现得不那么孤独
I think you need to act a little less lonely.
试试吧
Try working on it.
说真的 你能不能让达茜妈妈上♥床♥睡觉
Seriously, can you put Mom Darcie to bed
把快乐的达茜叫出来一阵子吗？
and bring out fun Darcie for a little while?
- 我说 请？ - 请？
- Like, please? - Please?
非常 非常 非常 非常请？
Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty please?
好的 好吧 给我来罐啤酒
Okay, fine. Beer me.
- 真棒 - 真棒
- Yes. - Yes!
- 哟 哟 哟 派 - 怎么了？
- Yo, yo, yo, Pi. - Yeah?
- 你和我们在一起 对吗？ - 是的
- You're with us, yeah? - Yeah.
好的
Okay.
耶
Yeah.
大家听好了
Listen up, everyone!
你知道怎么进行
You know how this goes.
莎拉拿到名单了
Sarah's got the lists.
史蒂夫·普罗宾的父母周末不在
Steve Probyn's parents are gone for the weekend,
所以他大方地让我们用他家
so he has graciously let us use his place
来做最后的算分 还有 派对
for the final tally and party.
就像过去一样 伙计们
Just like old times, people.
听口令…
On your mark...
预备…
get set...
开始
go!
无麸质 阴♥道♥
有趣的保险杠贴纸
（标记警车得分双倍 ）
停车 别相信
汽车拉力赛——清单
你有这个 是的 你有
You've got this. Yes, you do.
你可以这样做
You can do this.
够近了
Close enough.
向一个陌生人炫耀你
嘿 史蒂夫 你知道这件不在名单上
Hey, Steve, you know that's not on the list.
噢 我知道
Oh, I know.
我想这是我爸爸的车
I think this is my dad's car.
去他妈的
Fuck him!
- 这是个坏主意 - 呃 闭嘴 格雷格
- This is a bad idea. - Ugh, shut up, Greg.
别像个小婊♥子♥一样
Don't be such a little bitch.
如果车主回来了怎么办？
What if the owner comes back?
他们不会回来的
They're not gonna come back.
我想揍我妈一顿
- 好吧 跑 格雷格 - 为什么？
- Okay, run, Greg. - Why?
噢 他们就在车里
Ooh, they're in the car!
多谢 格雷格
Thanks, Greg!
该死的 伙计
God damn, dude.
他说的没错
That's right.
性犯罪者
他的味道怎么样？
What's he taste like?
噢 她 她怎么…？
Oh, she, what does she--?
你是不是连自己的妈妈都洗劫了?
Did you just panty raid your own mom?
嘘
Shh.
你好？
Hello?
嘿 这是搞…？
Hey, what the--?
- 你的衬衫怎么了？ - 丢了
- What happened to your shirt? - Lost it.
- 怎么回事？ - 我不知道
- How? - I don't know.
嘿 你♥他♥妈♥不也是警♥察♥吗？
Hey! Aren't you a fuckin' cop?
把睡觉的人移到外面并且不要吵醒他们
怎么了 排长？
What's up, Platoon?
我从不知道你有多有趣
I didn't know how funny you are.
我也是 你今天晚上无与伦比
Me, too. You killed it tonight.
当我需要副驾驶的时候… 嘿
Anytime I need a copilot-- hey.
我就要这么叫你了
That's what I'm gonna call you.
副驾驶安妮卡
Anita Copilot.
可不吗
Totally.
莎拉 你算好最后得分了吗？
Sarah, do you have the final tally?
好吧 我核查了大部分活动了
Well, I have the most activities checked.
你算过我的加分了吗？
Did you count my bonus points?
- 因为你把一个未成年人的蛋蛋塞到了另一个的嘴里？ - 是的
- For teabagging a minor? - Yes.
呃？ 是吗？
Eh? Yes?
那是你在加分项里自己写的
You wrote in your own bonus points.
那不算数
That doesn't count.
- 给他吧 - 给他吧
- Give it to him! - Give it to him.
听听群众的呼声
The people have spoken.
嘿 我想敬一杯酒
Hey, I'd like to make a toast.
我也不确定这个重回高中的事
And I wasn't sure how this whole high school thing
会如何发展 但最近的几周太棒了
was gonna go, but the last few weeks have been amazing.
所以 让我们举杯
So, let's raise a glass
感谢那个让这一切成为可能的人
to the guy who made it all possible,
那个提出计划的人 学校里最酷的人
the man with a plan, the coolest guy in school.
敬亚当
To Adam.
亚当 亚当
Adam! Adam!
所以 告诉我 成为学校里
So, tell me. How does it feel
最受欢迎的男生感觉如何？
to be the most popular guy in school?
我一直觉得那很性感
I always thought that was so sexy.
妈？
Mom?
噢 我的天呐 恶
Oh, my God, ew!
你在这里做什么？
What are you doing here?
我以为你这一整个月都不当我妈了
I thought you weren't my mother for an entire month.
我可没说过
That is not what I said.
你♥爸♥知道你来这里吗？
Does your father know you're here?
天呐 你真丢人
God, you are so humiliating.
杰西卡 回来
Jessica, get back here.
随你吧 荡♥妇♥
Whatever, slut.
来点啤酒吗 杰克逊先生？
Beer, Mr. Jackson?
不 今晚叫我特雷弗
No, tonight it's Trevor.
随你吧 特雷弗
Whatever, Trevor.
嗨 肖恩 和你大哥大姐一起
Hey, Shawn, is it weird to be at a party
参加派对是不是很奇怪？
with your older brother and your older sister?
随你说
Whatever.
我打赌你们无论干什么都在一起
Yeah, bet you guys do all kinds of things together.
闭嘴 混♥蛋♥
Shut up, dick.
你不是告诉我妈你今晚
Thought you told my mom you were studying
在朋友家学习吗
at a friend's house tonight.
是的 这是我的朋友史蒂夫
I am. This is my buddy Steve,
今晚 我们在学习
and tonight, we're studying.
第一堂课—酒精与女性解剖学
First class-- alcohol and the female anatomy.
剧透警告 答案是阴♥道♥
Spoiler alert, the answer is vagina.
你在搞什么？
What are you doing?
我告诉妈妈如果我看到你就给她发短♥信♥
I told Mom I'd text her if I saw you.
那个答案是什么 “阴♥道♥”？
What was that answer again, "Vagina?"
- 阴♥道♥ - 无论你今晚看到什么
- Vagina. - Whatever you see tonight,
你都当作没看到 明白吗？
you didn't see. Get it?
如果这就是规矩的话 特雷弗
Oh, if those are the rules, Trevor,
你想要来吸一口好家伙？
you want a toke of some sweet bud?
他妈的当然
Abso-fuckin'-lutely.
喔 让我们嗨起来吧 混♥蛋♥们
Whoo, let's tear it up, fuckers!
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey.
我是不是伸舌头伸得太狠了？
Did I use too much tongue?
不 天呐 你… 你还好
No, gosh, you were-- you were fine.
我是说 你… 你很棒
I mean, you were-- you were great.
我能坐吗？
May I?
你还好吗？
You all right?
是的 我没事
Yeah, I'm fine.