37岁（2019）

耶
Yeah.
噢
Oh.
真棒
Nice.
- 是的 - 嗯哼
- Yeah. - Ahem.
真够成熟的
Real mature.
这就是你20年前错过的生活？
This is the life you were missing 20 years ago?
埃琳… 韦格纳女士 你在这里干什么?
Erin-- Ms. Wegner, what are you doing here?
我们接到一个匿名电♥话♥
We got an anonymous call
说我们的学生在吸大♥麻♥…
that our students were smoking marijuana...
这是药用的
It's medicinal.
- …在学校里… - 噗
- ...on school property... - Pfft.
…而且我路过的时候看到高中校园的墙上
...and now I walk by to see porn being projected
正在放映色情片
on the high school wall.
你们现在也许算是高中生
While you may be high school students,
但你们在现实生活中还是成年人
you're still adults in real life,
而且在未成年场所吸毒 看色情片
and doing drugs and watching porn at a place for children
仍然被社会大多数人所厌恶
is still generally frowned upon by most of society.
你要怎么样 艾琳 给我们留堂？
What are you gonna do, Erin, give us all detentions?
不幸的是 协议是
Well, unfortunately, protocol would be
如果罪名成立的话 我们会联络警方
to contact the police where, if convicted,
你们可能会面临严重的牢狱之灾
you could face some serious jail time.
-随你吧 缉毒警 - 关闭投影
- Whatever, NARC. - Projector, off.
我…我很抱歉
I am-- I am so sorry about that.
我能问一下你为什么要这么做吗？
Can I ask why you're doing this?
因为如果只是为了释放些青春荷尔蒙的幻想
Because if it's just to relive some teenage hormonal fantasy,
这就很可悲了
that's pretty pathetic.
我只是觉得我错过了高中时代
I-- I just feel like I missed out on high school.
亚当 你们班有多少亿万富翁？
Adam, how many of your grad class are billionaires?
一个也没有 除非你算上我 好吧 那就一个
None. Unless you count me, okay, then one.
那你和格雷格成为好朋友有多久了？
And how long have you and Greg been best friends?
一辈子
My whole life.
你每天都在做你喜欢的事
And you spend your days doing what you love,
- 我猜 是和他一起 - 是的 真神奇
- I presume, with him. - Yeah, it's amazing.
那你为什么又要这么做？
So, why are you doing this again?
我希望你这次能找到原因
Well, I hope you find it this time,
因为那些无视历史的人注定要重蹈覆辙
because those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.
这不只是一种有点蠢的上课方式
It's not just a dorky way of saying come to class.
周一见 亚当
See you Monday, Adam.
除了我之外还有没有其他人
Is it just me or does anybody else
听到了范·海伦的《爱上老师》？
hear Van Halen's "Hot for Teacher" right now?
在这里吃快餐
Fast food at the point.
这感觉真的像是在高中了
Now this really does feel like high school.
可不吗
Totally.
我在说什么呢？ 我从来没来过这里
Who am I kidding? I have never been here.
- 真的吗？ - 是的
- Seriously? - Yeah.
我高中时每个周末都在这里
Oh, I was here every weekend in high school.
好吧 收起你那挑剔的小眼神
Okay, easy on the judgy eyes.
真不敢相信我和你一起来这里
I can't believe I am here with you.
你知道吗 我想我去年在电视上见过你
You know, I think I saw you on TV last year.
你在白宫吃晚餐
You were having dinner at the White House.
那可没这么酷了
That was not as cool.
你是说在这里和我一起玩
You're telling me that you think it's cooler
比和第♥一♥夫♥人♥跳华尔兹
hanging out with me here at the point
显得更酷
than waltzing with the First Lady.
你是舞会皇后
You're the prom queen.
我不认为第♥一♥夫♥人♥
I don't think the First Lady
能拥有这样的荣誉
can boast such an honor.
我甚至都没参加我们的毕业舞会
I didn't even go to our prom.
你给了非洲的一整个村庄带来了干净的水资源
You gave a whole entire village in Africa clean water.
谁在乎毕业舞会？
Who cares about prom?
在高中看起来似乎很重要的事情
Everything that seemed important in high school,
现在看来…都无关紧要了
it just-- it doesn't matter anymore.
你说得对
You're right.
但是能再次约会的感觉真的很好
But it does feel really nice to be on a date again.
我们是在约会吗？
Is that what we're doing?
嗯 是的
Well, yeah.
不是吗？
Right?
那我们现在是要出去 还是…？
So, are we, like, going out now, or...?
我猜是的
I guess.
你让天堂仿佛坠落人间
You've put the "heaven" in thirty "su-heaven."
他们在这里干什么？
What are they doing here?
嘿
Hey!
哇哦 我喜欢你的…
Wow, I love your...
你认真的？
Really?
怎么？
What?
这是来自过去的一记重拳
It's a blast from the past.
办公室
噢 不
Oh, no!
噢 不 噢 不
Oh, no! Oh, no!
好啊
Yes!
喔噢
Whoo!
你要去哪 屙裤货？
Where are you going, Shits-his-pantsky?
又拉裤子里了？
Shit your pants again?
嘿 嘿 嘿
Hey, hey, hey.
你要去哪？
Where are you going?
呃 酒店 处理些工作
Uh, hotel, put some work in.
你要放弃吗？
You're ditching?
嗯 是的 我今天早上收到一条短♥信♥
Well, yeah, I got a text this morning
有人泄露了你那天炫耀的
that someone leaked photos of the prototype phone
原型机的照片 所以…
that you were showing off the other day, so...
- 很严重吗？ - 我还不确定
- Is it serious? - I don't know yet.
拜托 家伙 这里有关这件事已经有
Come on, man, there's already been, like,
差不多物数的流言了
a kajillion rumors about this thing.
第一 "物数"不是一个词
A, "kajillion" isn't a word,
还有 第二 这太荒谬了
and, B, this is getting ridiculous.
- 我不干了 - 你不能放弃
- I'm done. - You can't quit.
如果你退出就拿不到钱了
You don't get the money if you quit.
你现在真的是在犯浑吗？
Are you seriously being an ass monkey right now?
你以为我在乎钱？
You think I care about the money?
好吧… 我不是那个意思 好吗？
Okay-- I didn't mean it, okay?
我保证 我会处理好我搞砸的一切
I promise, I'll take care of everything I screwed up.
你不应该帮我收拾烂摊子
You shouldn't be cleaning up my mess.
我只是…我今晚真的需要你
I just-- I really need you tonight.
你新朋友够多了
You got enough new friends.
我相信他们可以帮你做任何事
I'm sure they can help you with whatever--
不 不 不 不 我需要你 好吗？
No, no, no, no. I need you, okay?
我们被邀请参加汽车拉力赛
We've been invited to the car rally.
我们讨厌汽车拉力赛
We hate car rallies.
不 我们讨厌汽车拉力赛 是因为我们从未被邀请过
No, we hated car rallies 'cause we were never invited.
现在我们已经被邀请了 所以他们很酷
Well, we've been invited now, so they're cool.
我们很酷
We're cool.
你知道吗 你听起来像个白♥痴♥
You know, you sound like an idiot.
你可以说是这个星球上最聪明的人
You're arguably the smartest man on the planet,
而你现在说话就像个14岁的小女孩
and you're starting to talk like a 14-year-old girl.
才没有
Nuh-uh.
你知道你是我最好的朋友 对吧？
Look, you know you're my best friend, right?
好吧 没有你我做不到
Okay, I can't do this without you.
这你倒还记得 是吗？
You know that's true, right?
来吧
Come on.
嘿
Hey!
你随时都可以做我的僚机
You can be my wingman anytime.
扯淡 你可以做我的
Bullshit. You can be mine.
他会是我的僚机 对吧？
He'd be my wingman, right?
他会...是的 他会是我的僚机
He'd be-- yeah, he'd be my wingman.
- 你在干什么 伙计？ - 拉伸
- What are you doing, man? - Stretching.
是的 你也应该这么做 否则你会后悔的
Yeah, you should do it, too. You'll regret it if you don't.
你看起来像是基佬
You look gay.
伙计 你不能再开这种玩笑了
Dude, you can't make that joke anymore.
是的 这是真的 每个人
Yeah, that's true. Everyone's
现在都有点同性恋 不要忽视这点
a little gay nowadays. Don't be ignorant.
你们知道要当一个和你