37岁（2019）

什么？
What?
你就是我的天命
You are my density.
1.21兆瓦 1.21兆瓦
1.21 gigawatts! 1.21 gigawatts!
格雷特 格雷特 等等
Greg! Greg, wait up!
- 抱歉 借过一下 - 对不起
- Excuse me, coming through. - Excuse me.
你做了什么？
What have you done?
相信我 一定会很棒的
Trust me, this is gonna be amazing.
嘿 伙计
Hey, guys.
第一天上学 你是紧张还是兴奋？
You excited or nervous for the first day?
是的
Yeah.
给我振作起来
Pull your shit together.
噢 嘿 亲爱的
Oh, hey, honey.
天啊 你真丢人
God, you are so humiliating.
你不觉得这很疯狂吗
Don't you think it's crazy
我怎么会有一个和我一样年级的女儿呢?
how I have a daughter in the same grade as me?
哦 和我们一样 很奇怪 对吧?
Well, as us. It's weird, right?
那套衣服真棒
That's a great outfit.
谢谢 我去买♥♥了点东西为返校做准备
Thanks, I went back-to-school shopping
感觉就像回到了过去
and it felt like old times.
她是这么说的
That's what she said, heh.
不管怎样 嗯 谢谢
Anyway, um, thanks.
我见过你和一些
I have seen you in rooms
世界上最有权势的领导人同处一室
with some of the most powerful leaders in the world.
也透过豪华酒店的墙壁听到过
I've listened through walls of lavish hotels
当你和超模们疯狂性♥爱♥时的声音
while you've had mad, crazy, tantric sex with supermodels.
但是十秒钟之后 见到达尔西·威廉姆斯
But ten seconds with Darcie Williams,
你会瓦解的
you just fall to pieces.
嘿 借过一下
Hey, excuse me.
好
Yeah.
哟
Yo.
哦
Ooh.
我不记得你是谁 这简直要了我的命
It is killing me that I don't remember who you are.
但我认为你不能坐在那里
But I don't think you can sit there.
那是给瓦格纳先生的
That's for Mr. Wagner.
但我十分乐意把我的桌子当作双层床
But I'd be more than happy to treat my desk as a bunk bed.
你想要上面还是下面
You want top or bottom?
瓦格纳先生是我的父亲
Mr. Wagner was my father.
不幸的是 他不能来
Unfortunately, he could not be here,
所以罗素小姐问我是否愿意代替他
so Miss Russell asked if I would take his place.
扯淡 怎么说的 派
That's bullshit. Come on, Pi.
你说过我们要“百分之百”还原
You said we're gonna do this "100%."
是啊 你♥爸♥爸有什么大事忙得
Yeah, what is your dad doing that's so important
他今天都不能来？
he couldn't be here today?
那太像他了
That is so like him.
他一直是这样一个贱♥货♥
He was always such a cunt.
他死了 死于白血病
He died. Leukemia.
老实说 伙计 这理由够正当了
Gotta be honest, dude. That's a legit reason.
我们为你感到遗憾 你父亲是个伟大的人
We're sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man.
谢谢
Thank you.
现在 能不能请你们每个人都
Now, does everybody want to open their books
打开课本翻到第12页
and turn to page 12, please?
你在开玩笑 对吧？
You're kidding, right?
对不起 有什么问题吗
I'm sorry, is there a problem?
不不不 没有问题
No, no, no problem.4
你想让我们上课 真的上课?
So, you want us to take classes, like, for real?
学校好像就是干这个的吧
That's kind of how school works.
伙计们 必须所有的都对应 要不然就是白扯
Guys, it's gotta be the whole deal or no deal.
打扰一下 请你坐好好吗？
Excuse me, can you please sit down?
对不起 我是亚当·派
I'm sorry. I'm Adam Pi.
我知道你是谁 亚当
I know who you are, Adam.
我的名单上有你的名字
I have your name in my list.
哦
Ooh.
好的 如果你不介意的话 我想继续
Now, if you don't mind, I would like to get back
去教我的学生有关民权运动的知识
to teaching my students about the Civil Rights movement.
- 嗨 - 嘿
- Hi. - Hey.
你 嗯… 你看起来美极了
You, uh-- you look incredible.
谢谢 你也是
Thanks. So do you.
嘿 瞧瞧我这30多快要40的
Hey, having my brother and sister here
- 哥哥姐姐 - 呃 呃 只是… 不
- in their late 30s. - Uh, um, just-- no.
不管怎样 我不希望任何人
Whatever. I just don't want anyone
知道我们是亲戚 好吗?
to know we're related, all right?
这是我的毕业季
This is my senior year.
我不希望你们两个来把事情搞砸
I don't need you two screwing it up.
- 他知道我们以前… - 不知道
- Does he know that we used to-- - No.
不 我们答应过爸爸再也不提这件事
No, we promised Dad we would never speak of it again.
嗯 好吧 我们答应过你♥爸♥爸
Uh, okay, so we promised your dad.
-我爸 -因为当你说"爸”
- My dad. - Because when you say "Dad,"
- 这很奇怪 - 奇怪
- it's weird, yeah. - Weird.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- Hey. - Hey.
你知道你不能坐在这里的 对吧？
You know you can't sit here, right?
你知道你还没有大到
You know you're not too big
可以不被打屁♥股♥ 对吧？
for a spanking, right?
你为什么要这么做？
Why are you doing this?
你不觉得你已经毁了我的生活？
Don't you think you already wrecked my life enough?
你们不是应该在
Shouldn't you guys be eating
老师休息室吃点东西吗？
in the teacher's lounge or something?
你想让我们觉得自己老了吗？
Is that supposed to make us feel old?
你知道我现在37岁身材都
You do know that I'm in better shape at 37
比你17岁的更好吧
than you are at 17.
它们叫沙拉 女士们 尝一尝
They're called salads, ladies. Try one.
天啊 你们太可爱了
God, you guys are so cute.
你以为你什么都知道？
You think you know everything?
你以为你知道如何用伤人的话
You think you know how to disassemble someone
击溃一个人吗？
with hurtful words?
亲爱的 我们比你们多20年的经验
Darlings, we've got 20 more years experience than you.
试试看啊 笨蛋
Try us, twats.
噢 你觉得很有趣吗
Oh, you think it's funny.
我们手上有个小可爱呢
We got a cutie on our hands.
你以为我们是喜剧演员？
You think we're comedians?
听着 我想告诉你一件我一直
Look, I want to tell you something.
在考虑的事
I've been thinking about it.
等等 艾玛
Wait, Emma.
天啊 这个小可爱以为这所学校她说了算呢
Oh, my God, this cutie thinks she rules this school.
你显然不配
You are clearly not worthy.
我讨厌你
I hate you.
亲爱的 别忘了换便笺簿
Don't forget to change your pad, sweetie.
艾琳 艾琳 呃 韦格纳女士 等等
Erin! Erin! Uh, Ms. Wegner, wait.
派先生 需要帮助吗？
Mr. Pi, how can I help you?
- 这是那个同步笔记的应用吗？ - 是的
- Is that the Synrnote app? - It is.
这是我发明的
I kinda created that.
所以你知道那哔的一声意味着我要迟到了
So you realize that beep means I'm late for something.
实际上 你可以让它发出哔哔声也可以振动 或者…
Actually, you can make that a beep or a vibration or a--
对 抱歉 我只是想为…
right, sorry, I just wanted to apologize for--
- 派先生 抱歉 我… - 亚当 亚当
- Mr. Pi, I'm sorry... - Adam, Adam.
…刚才不该对你发脾气
...for snapping on you earlier.
我只是…我从来没有过
I just-- I've never taught a class
给一班比我年长的人上过课
where I was the youngest in the room
我觉得我需要维护自己
and I felt I needed to assert myself.
听着 你付了我们很多钱
Look, you paid us a lot of money
我想保证这种体验
and I want to make sure the experience
像你要求的那样真实
is as authentic as you'd asked
让你尽可能体会到高中的感觉
and make it as high school as possible for you.
嗨
Hi.
我觉得我有点社交恐惧
I am feeling socially awkward,
缺乏安全感 一切都有点怪异
insecure, and a little weird about everything.
就像高中时那样
Just like high school.
- 啊哦 - 妈的
- Uh-oh. - Shit.
- 噢 - 真棒
- Oh! - Yes!
哇哦
Wow.
以免你们有人不记得我了
For those of you who don't remember,