37岁（2019）

是啊 你在史蒂文·西格尔
Yeah, you did background work
一部在这里拍摄的电影里做过幕后工作
on a Steven Seagal movie that shot here
他的经纪人当时想搞你
and his agent tried to screw you.
- 噢 - 物色到？意思有些宽泛了吧
- Ooh. - Scouted? Bit of a stretch.
随你怎么说吧 还有 你就是个婊♥子♥
Tomato, tomahto. Also, you're a bitch.
跟我说说 你认不认为每个人
Tell me, do you or do you not think that everyone
都觉得我会成为我们班最出名的人？
expected me to be the famous one from our class?
好吧 滚吧
Okay, fuck off.
嘿 好吧 听着 听着 你站在我旁边
Hey, okay, look, look, just stand beside me.
都不会有任何人会注意到你
No one will even notice you.
我想我们现在做的事
Well, I think that we're all doing something different
都与高中时的预期不太相符
than we thought we'd be doing in high school.
我卖♥♥保险
I sell insurance.
我烂透了 我真的很烂
I'm lame. I actually suck.
今晚整晚都会是
This is gonna be an entire night
“她到底怎么了”此起彼伏
of "What in sweet hell happened to her?"
是我一个人 还是我们班上的每个人
Is it me or is, like, everyone in our class
看上去都开始变老了？
starting to look old?
我不知道 亚当·派看起来不错
I don't know. Adam Pi looks pretty good.
你们也知道人们是怎么说那些
You know what they say about a man
拥有巨款的人的
with a big bank account.
- 你说起话来像个妓♥女♥ - 更糟的称谓我也不是没听过
- You sound like a hooker. - I've been called worse.
还记得这个白♥痴♥吗？他妈的派
Remember this shithead? Fucking Pi.
我真不敢相信他一年挣的钱
I can't believe he makes more money in one year
会比我们一生挣的都多
than we will in our lifetimes combined.
谁会想到计算机会流行起来呢
Who woulda thought computers woulda caught on?
我知道 真是个白♥痴♥ 对吧？
I know, what an idiot, right?
是吧？ 我是说 他现在是百万富翁了
Right? I mean, yeah, he's a millionaire now,
但代价是什么呢？
but at what cost?
他在高中唯一操过的就是他的手
The only thing he fucked in high school was his hand,
我听说他连二垒都没上过
and I heard it didn't even go past second base.
亿万富翁
Billionaire.
他现在可是亿万富翁了
He's now a multi-billionaire,
而且你会惊讶于这只手
and you would be surprised at what this hand
让我在高中对她做了什么
let me do to her in high school.
一个完完全全的荡♥妇♥ 她毫无节操可言
A complete slut. She had like no self-respect.
没关系 那是很久以前的事了
It's okay. That was a long time ago.
如果这些都不是真的 我会很难过的
I'd be upset if any of it wasn't true.
让我来请你们喝一杯吧
Let me buy you guys a drink.
呃 是我们应该请你喝一杯
Uh, we should buy you a drink
因为我们是彻头彻尾的混♥蛋♥
'cause we were complete assholes.
我个人认为是那个操妹货
I personally blame the sister-fucker.
实在是降低了我们的整体水平
Really lowers the bar for this group.
嘿 伙计们 我刚把卫生纸尿了个遍
Hey, guys, I just pissed all over the toilet paper.
如果有人憋不住了呢 伙计
What if someone's gotta go, dude?
对啊 希望如此
Yeah, let's hope.
有没有可能那个家伙一直活在高中里?
Is it possible that guy hasn't even left high school?
我觉得我20年前就有过这样的对话
I feel like I had this conversation 20 years ago.
真是个烂人
What a piece of shit.
97级
搞什么鬼
What in the fuck?
我…对不起 我…我…
I'm-- I'm sorry, I-- I--
你干嘛不好好看看自己的路呢？
Why don't you watch where the hell you're going,
尿裤鬼？
Shits-his-pantsky?
嘿 你的裤子多少钱
Hey how much for your pants?
- 裤子怎么了？ - 嗯…
- What's with the pants? - Uh...
我以为每个人都穿着90年代的衣服
I thought everybody was wearing '90s stuff.
你最近在忙什么 约翰?
So, what have you been up to, John?
我是个警♥察♥
I'm a cop.
好吧 那这一段
Okay, so you're not
你应该没有揍人吧
beating people up these days.
法律要求我选打人的目标时比以前
I'm required by law to be a little more selective
更挑剔一点
than I used to be.
不如让我请大家喝一杯吧？
Why don't I buy everybody a drink?
事实上 今晚剩下的时间
As a matter of fact, drinks are on me
酒水算我身上
for the rest of the night.
耶 亚当
Yay, Adam.
亚当 亚当
Adam! Adam!
更多喝的来了
Here come more drinks.
这个派对马上就要燃起来了
This party's about to get lit.
你还活着吗？
Are you gonna live?
浴缸可冲不了 亲爱的
You can't flush the tub, sweetie.
哇 喔 喔 喔 喔 哇
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa.
- 什么鬼？ - 怎么回事？ 我在哪？
- What the hell? - What's going on? Where am I?
我刚去了趟洗手间
I just went to go to the bathroom.
我想我回错房♥间了
I think I came back to the wrong room.
放松 大家冷静一下
Easy. Everybody calm down.
这家伙想强♥奸♥我
This guy tried to rape me.
我没有试图强♥奸♥任何人
I did not try to rape anyone.
那你为什么光着身子？
Why are you naked?
我没有光着身子 内♥裤♥ 我有内♥裤♥
I'm not naked. Underwear. I have underwear.
你♥他♥妈♥的对我的仓鼠做了什么？
What did you do to my fucking hamster?
别说脏话
Watch your mouth!
不过你♥他♥妈♥的对他的仓鼠做了什么？
But what did you do to his fucking hamster?
嘿 抱歉 我不知道我是怎么进到那个房♥间的
Hey, sorry. I have no idea how I got in that room
还有什么仓鼠 还有他…
or anything about the hamster or what he was--
放轻松 理查德·基尔
Easy, Richard Gere.
珍妮找到它了 在他弟弟的房♥间里
Jenny found it. It was in his little brother's room.
你的孩子吗？
Those your boys?
过继的
Step boys.
继子
Step sons.
昨晚玩得很开心 是吗?
Had a good time last night, yeah?
他妈的 是的
Fuck, yeah.
我真想再读一次高中
I'd kill to do high school again.
昨晚我很兴奋
I was in the zone last night.
你不觉得我们在17岁 荷尔蒙
Don't you think it's weird that we do high school
完全混乱的时候上高中奇怪极了吗
when we're 17 during total hormonal confusion?
没有谁的思维是正常的
Nobody was in the right frame of mind.
没有人能像他们希望的那样完成高中学业
Nobody did high school like they wanted to.
那是你吧 我在高中可是国王
Speak for yourself. I was the king in high school.
姑娘们想上我 小伙子们想成为我
Chicks wanted to fuck me, dudes wanted to be me.
我希望我能再上一次 这次我会完全不同
I wish I could do it again. I would do it so differently.
如果可以呢？
What if you could?
- 你愿意吗？ - 什么意思？
- Would you? - What do you mean?
如果我们真能重新回到高中时代呢？
What if we did high school all over again?
比如 如果我们把所有的老师 还有
Like, what if we got all our teachers together,
我们班的每个人聚在一起 再上一次
everybody from our class, and we did it again,
大概 上个 一个月？
but for, like, a month?
首先 我还有按揭要付
For starters, I got a mortgage to pay.
如果钱不是问题呢？
What if money was no issue?
如果我能给你和你做园林绿化
What if I gave you the same amount of money
一样多的钱呢？
you'd make landscaping?
你疯了 你知道吗？
You're crazy, you know that?
如果我给你一年的工资
What if I gave you one year's salary
买♥♥你一个月的时间呢？
for one month of your time?
再上一个月的高中？
One more month of high school?
你是认真的吗？
Are you serious?
这主意好极了
This is a great idea.
坏主意 昨晚不是个好主意
Bad idea. Last night was a bad idea.
那个聚会 比高中还糟糕
That reunion, it sucked more than high school did.
还记得你高三的时候晕过去了 然后特雷弗
Remember in 12th grade when you passed out
在你脸上画了个鸡♥巴♥的事吗？
and Trevor drew a dick on your face?
你说得对 那件更糟
You're right, that was worse.
其实差不多
Kinda the same.
不 他说的对 那件糟多了
No, he's right. That was way worse.
不不不 其实差不多
No, no, kinda the same.
婊♥子♥养♥的♥
Son of a bitch.
操
Fuck.
等等 你们非要现在告诉我吗？
Wait, this is when you guys tell me?
现在 在早餐时间？
Now, at breakfast?
不是想让你觉得反胃