受害者

我站了起来 手里还拿着那块玻璃
I stand up and I've still got the piece of glass in my hand.
对着他大吼 "你给我滚远点"
I shout at him then, "Fuck off, will you?!"
但他就是不走
But he doesn't go.
只是表情上有些恐惧
He just looks scared.
他说 "你不会惹上麻烦的"
He says, "You won't get into trouble."
我不明白他怎么就不能直接离开
I don't understand why he didn't just go.
他只是看着我的眼睛 可他为什么不走
He's looking right in my eyes but why didn't he just go?
他为什么不走
Why didn't he go?!
我等了这么多年 就想看你痛苦的样子
I've waited so long to see you suffer.
然后呢
Then what?
然后呢 埃迪
Then what, Eddie?
我捅了他
I stabbed him.
捅了哪里
Where?
脖子
In the neck.
几次
How many times?
两次
Twice.
三次
Three times.
然后他...
And then he just...
坐到了地上...
sat down...
愣愣地看着我
..surprised.
他还想说什么 但我只是继续一刀一刀地捅他
He tried to say something but I just kept stabbing.
他说了什么
What was he saying?
我...我不知道
I...I don't know.
-你一定知道 -我记不得了
- Yes, you do. - I don't remember.
他说了什么
What did he say?
告诉我
Say it!
告诉我
Say it!
他在喊妈妈
He called for you.
还有爸爸
And his dad too.
我向利亚姆保证过不会在你面前哭
I promised Liam I wouldn't cry in front of you.
我又辜负了他
I've let him down again.
然后你做了什么
Then what did you do?
我不知道该怎么办
I didn't know what to do.
我浑身都是血
I was covered in blood.
于是我就跑了
So I ran.
-什么 -我跑了
- What? - I ran.
你就把他留在了这里
You left him here?
可我一边跑还一边想
But as I was running, I thought,
"要是我把他藏好 就不会有人知道了"
"If I hide him properly, no-one will know."
你跑了多久
How long for?
他们说我折磨过他 可我没有
They said I tortured him and I didn't.
-多久 -我不知道 十分钟吧
- How long?! - I don't know. Ten minutes?
可我回来的时候 他完全没动过位置
But when I came back, he hadn't moved at all.
肯定是已经死了
He had to be dead.
但你没有确认过
But you didn't check?
你没有确认过
You didn't check.
他身上还有别的伤
There were other injuries.
我只能把它从路边拖到河岸边
I had to get it off the path and down the bank.
是他
Him!
我必须把他拖下山 但他确实死了
I had to get him down the hill but he was dead.
你...
You...
在他身上堆满了砖块和垃圾
..threw bricks and rubbish all over him.
我只是想把它藏起来
I was trying to hide it.
是他
Him!
他
Him.
是他啊
Him.
他当时已经死了
He was dead.
我向你保证
I promise you.
他们说我必须原谅自己
They told me I'd have to forgive myself!
就好像这由得我来决定一样
Like it's a decision I can make.
我无法原谅自己
I couldn't do it.
但我也无法一直活在
But I can't live with this
这件事的阴影下
every minute of every day.
我又该如何继续生活
So how do I go on?
我知道一切都已经于事无补
I know I can't ever make it right.
事情发生的那一刻我就知道
I knew that straight away.
这件事会纠缠我一辈子
That it would never go away.
每当我看着杰茜在学校的表演
And every time I caught myself smiling...
欣慰地微笑
..watching Jess in her school play,
每当我看着电视哈哈大笑
laughing at something on the TV,
就会想起自己做过的事...
I'd remember what I did...
想到我根本不配获得幸福
..and I've got no right to be happy.
一分钟都不配
Not even for a minute.
在判决之后 我想找你私下谈谈
I asked them after the sentencing to speak to you
向你当面道歉 但他们说这是不允许的
so I could apologise but they said it wasn't allowed
更何况你也不会接受我的道歉
and you wouldn't accept it anyway.
随着时间的流逝
And after time,
我才意识到 一句道歉有多么的微不足道
I realised how small it is, that word.
现在更是微乎其微了
It just got smaller.
而我心里的愧疚感却越来越强烈
And what I did kept on getting bigger.
现在我说什么都没有意义了 不是吗
There's not much that can really be said in the end, is there?
但我真的 安娜
But I am, Anna.
我真的很抱歉
I am so sorry.
我就是埃迪
I'm Eddie.
这一切不怪你们任何一个人
There was nothing that you could have done.
我才是那个本可以阻止一切的人
I'm the only one that could have stopped it.
他想变得强大
He wanted to be big.
远在是非对错之外
还有一片所在
我将在那里与你相遇
鲁米[伊♥斯♥兰♥教苏菲派诗人]