彩排（2022）

These two title MTV cartoon guys thought the band KISS was pretty cool...
这两个音乐电视台的卡♥通♥人物
认为接吻合唱团 是一群很酷的默剧演员
Who is Beavis and Butt-Head?
－瘪四与大头蛋是谁？ －班？
-Ben? -Who are Beavis and Butt-Head?
－瘪四与大头蛋是谁？ －是的
-Yup! - TV character for 400.
长青的电视角色
－从１９７０年到‥ －我不擅长和初次见面的人打交道
I'm not good at meeting people for the first time.
-Hey. Nice to meet you. Nathan. -Pleased to meet you. How are you? Kor.
－很高兴见到你，我是奈森 －你好，我是寇尔
- Door city over here. - Yes.
－这里的门可真多啊 －是的‥
So, this is basically, it's like a portal, I guess, on some levels.
－类似某种玄关吧 －是啊
Yeah.
曾有人说我的个性会令人感到不适
I have been told my personality can make people uncomfortable,
so I have to work to offset that.
所以我得设法弥补这一点
Humor is my go-to instinct, but every joke is a gamble.
通常我下意识会诉诸幽默
但每个玩笑就像一场赌注
- Shoes off or... - Please walk as is.
要脱鞋还是‥
－就穿着吧 －好的
- And-- - Okay. Shirt off? Or? Just kidding.
－还有‥ －要脱衣服还是‥开玩笑的
- I'll leave my shirt on. - It's not that...
－我会穿着 －这里不是‥那种地方
- No, it's not that kind of place. - No, it's not, I'm just kidding.
当然不是，我开玩笑的
So far it was going well, and it had to,
目前为止还算顺利，这是必须的
because I was about to ask this man to trust me with his life.
因为我要这男人完全地信任我
Kor Skeet is a 50-year-old teacher from Brooklyn, New York,
寇尔史基特是五十岁老师
来自纽约布鲁克林
and there is nothing he loves more than trivia.
他热爱益智问答
I'm very good at television trivia.
我对于益智问答节目非常在行
Who is the youngest person to ever be inducted
谁是电视名人堂最年轻的入选者？
into the Television Hall of Fame?
It's a female.
是一名女性
- Who? - Oprah Winfrey.
－是谁？ －欧普拉温芙蕾
A few months ago,
”征求：在逃避什么事吗？” 几个月前寇尔回应了
Kor responded to a vague Craigslist post I put on the internet,
我在分类广♥告♥网站上传的简略贴文
sharing a story about a lie he told his bar trivia team over 12 years ago.
他分享十二年前 对一群酒吧益智问答的朋友说的谎
I told my friends that I had an advanced degree,
我告诉朋友我有高学历，但我没有
and I didn't. I play trivia with them often,
我们经常一起玩益智问答
and the problem was that I...
但我想看起来比实际聪明
wanted to seem like I was smarter than I was.
My teammates all had advanced degrees.
其他人的学历都很高
I decided to let them think I had a master's degree
我想让他们以为我有硕士学位
when I was just getting my bachelor's.
但实际只有学士学位
- You've quite a collection. - Yeah, I'm a bibliophile.
收藏的书真多
我是书虫
How to Make Love All Night and Drive a Woman Wild?
《如何彻夜上♥床♥，让女人为你疯狂》
Well, you know?
－你知道的‥ －我们肯定很合得来
I think we're gonna get along pretty well.
- I don't know about that. I... - Yeah.
－不好说，我有‥ －是吧
And now it's gotten to the point where he's lying to them every day.
而现在到了每天都要撒谎的地步
I have a friend on the team that keeps sending me,
里头有个朋友一直分享
jobs that require a master's degree.
需要硕士学历的职缺
So now, it's being shoved back in my face again,
我已经走投无路
and I'm running out of excuses.
没有任何藉口了
I understand his dilemma. This trivia team is his life.
我理解他的难处
这群益智问答好友是他的一切
And when you reveal your true self, people don't always like what they see.
一旦选择揭露真实自我
人们未必会欣然接受
But I wanted to show him that if you plan for every variable,
但我要让他知道，只要预测所有变数
a happy outcome doesn't have to be left to chance.
好结局未必只能靠运气
I assume you've seen some of my previous work? Or...
你应该看过我之前的节目‥
- I'm afraid I haven't. - Okay.
－我没有 －好吧
It's... I made a show called Nathan For You.
－我有个节目叫”救援高手” －好的
Okay.
Didn't you say your trivia specialty is television shows?
你不是说你对益智节目很在行吗？
It is, but there's even a limitation on that.
－是没错，但总有不会的嘛 －好吧
- Okay. - Yeah.
- I mean, you should check it out. - I mean, definitely.
－你该看看我的节目 －我会的
But a lot of it involved working with real people...
里头很多素♥人♥参与录制
...so I'd have to put myself in all these
会常遇到无法预测的情况
uncertain environments and I became really good at
但也让我善于揣测人们下一步的行动
predicting how people would act in a future situation.
- Okay, okay. - For example.
好的‥
例如，这段谈话蛮顺利的吧？
Like this conversation's going pretty well, right?
- Okay, I'd like to continue it. - I mean, do you think so? I don't know.
－对，我会想继续聊下去 －你真的这么想吗？
－我不确定 －是啊，目前都很好
- Yeah. I'm... So far, so good. - I mean, we've been having fun.
－我们聊得挺开心的吧 －是啊‥
I assume we have been sharing some laughs so far.
－时不时也有一些欢笑 －没错
Yeah. I hope to continue that way.
希望能持续下去
So, that's no accident.
这并非巧合
Everything that's happened so far today, I have rehearsed it dozens of times.
今天发生的一切
我已经排演了几十次
These exact words, in a replica of your home, with an actor playing you.
在和你家一样的地方 跟扮演你的演员讲同样的话
Okay.
好喔
Remember a couple of weeks ago, when the gas company came by
记得几周前天然气公♥司♥来访
because of a leak in your building?
告知大楼气体外泄吗？
Yes...
记得
Well, there wasn't a leak in your building, that was my team.
其实没有外泄，那是我的团队
Gotta check the stove...
我们要检查火炉
Ehen you gave them access,
他们进门后
they secretly made a digital map of your entire home.
偷偷丈量整个家
We then recreated every detail of this space
接着在几哩外的仓库重建场景 还原你家每个细节
as a physical set in a warehouse a few miles from here.
And with the help of a fake you,
有个假扮你的人
I could practice every single permutation of this interaction
帮助我练习各种互动方式
and have a plan for it.
为此制定好计划
I mean, do you think I should say something about the doors?
你认为我应该聊一下门吗？
The actor I hired analyzed your submission video
我聘请的演员分♥析♥你上传的影片
to mimic your speech patterns and psychology.
揣摩你的讲话方式和心理状态
Well, it's me with my... my parents, I was...
这是我和我父母‥
I can't remember, maybe I was about ten?
我不记得了，我当时大概十岁？
How to Make Love All Night and Drive a Woman Wild?
《如何彻夜上♥床♥，让女人为你疯狂》
Yeah, that was a...
－是的，那是‥ －我们肯定很合得来
I feel like we're going to get along pretty well.
And we tried over and over.
我们排演了一遍又一遍
-Hi. Nathan. -Hey.
－你好‥ －你好，我是奈森‥
-Hi. Nathan. -Hi. Hey, hi.
-Hi. Nathan. -Hi. Hi.
Door city over here.
这里的门可真多啊
And I'd adjust each time until I perfected it.
每次会做微调直至完美
- Or shoes off? - No, you can leave them on, it's fine.
－要脱鞋吗？ －不必‥穿着就好，没关系
All right. What about shirt off?
好，那衣服‥要脱吗？
Leave it on, please.
请穿着吧
Yeah, so that will probably make him laugh.
他应该会觉得好笑
So everything that's happened so far today,
今天发生的一切
I have rehearsed it dozens of times.
我已经排演了几十次
These exact words, in a replica of your home, with an actor playing you.
在和你家一样的地方 跟扮演你的演员讲同样的话
Wow!
Wow!
This is what we can do for your lie with your friends.
这方法能用来处理你对朋友撒的谎
Your trivia, like, this is the potential is what I am saying.
－这就是‥我所谓的预测各种可能 －我明白了
I see. Like a person,
就像‥要是我有办法预测‥
if I had the ability to know... if I knew what... how the other person
其他人的反应或后续情况的发展
or other people are going to react, or how the situation is going to go...
- You'll know. - Yeah.
你会知道如何处理各种情况
You'll know what exactly to say for every possible way.
Then that would be extremely appealing, yes.
那这方法还蛮有说服力的
But as we kept talking, I began to understand
不过在后续的谈话中
我才明白此事一再拖延的原因
the real reason he had been putting this off for so long.
Well, it's good except for one thing.
主意很好，但有个问题
Suppose one of my friends might give a reaction
假设我某个朋友 对有些人的反应非常暴♥力♥
that's very, very violent on some people,
even beyond the several predictions you can make.
甚至超乎你们的预测
What do you mean by violent?
你所谓的暴♥力♥是什么？
Like, you know, call me names and saying things that are so unforgivable
像是‥辱骂我或说一些 听完之后会想拒绝往来的重话
that I couldn't be their friend after that.
Who are you worried about specifically?
是谁让你有这样的顾虑？
I'd rather not reveal the name, not at this point, but...
我还不想透露是谁
但是‥的确在那群朋友之中
it's definitely someone that's on the team.
I found myself in an odd situation.
我发觉气氛变得有些诡异
Kor was willing to point out his friend in a photo,
寇尔愿意在照片中指出那名朋友
but he wouldn't tell me anything else about her.
却不愿透露关于她的事
She looks so nice, what is it about her?
－她看起来人很好，她怎么了？ －她人非常好‥
She's a nice person, very nice, but...
但是‥怎么说呢？
How do I put it?
If she... depending on her mood, you don't want to cross her too much.
这取决于她的心情
你不会想惹她生气的
Oh, my God! Okay.
天啊，好吧