中产家庭（2009）

The Middle S09E12

Part 1 Feb. 3, 2021, 10:28 a.m.

第一天正式上班!
"小姐与流氓"里的名场景: 两只狗吃着同一根面条最终亲到一起(这碗毒狗粮我们不吃谢谢!)
人这一生有很多个第一次...
There's a lot of firsts in people's lives...
第一颗牙第一次过生日第一次学步
first tooth, first birthday, first steps,
第一次上学还有第一天正式工作
first day of school, and first day of a real job.
你你你你你干嘛呢?
Whaaaaat are you doing?
我知道早上起来你不会让我给你照相的
I knew you wouldn't let me take your picture in the morning,
所以我就打算现在给你照
so I thought I'd do it now.
既然你已经醒了你能拿着这个吗?
Oh, and since you're up, will you hold this sign?
别拍了!
Ow! Stop!
Brick要被你吵醒了他的美梦是他仅有的乐土了
You're gonna wake Brick up. His dream world is all he's got.
不会的 Brick又在沙发上睡着了
No, Brick fell asleep on the couch again.
你♥爸♥调到篮球比赛那个台他倒头就睡了
Your dad had on basketball. Knocked him right out.
我知道你现在在管道公♥司♥做销♥售♥员
So, I know you're, like, a sales rep for a plumbing company,
但你是要开车到挨家挨户卖♥♥水管什么的
but do you drive around and sell plumbing stuff,
还是你给别人打电♥话♥销♥售♥?
or do you have to call people?
我知道你做什么才好到处跟别人炫耀一下
It helps me to brag about your new job if I know what it is.
我不知道
I don't know.
我知道我要跟一个叫Dwayne的人培训几周
I know I'm training with some guy named Dwayne
他会给我指点迷津的
for a couple weeks. He's gonna show me the ropes.
看看你都已经是个大人了!
Aww! Look at you all grown up!
你想让我像你小时候那样给你揉揉背吗?
Hey, you want me to rub your back like when you were little?
才不要!
No!
不过转念一想也行
Actually, okay.
我们一直没机会
So, we never had a chance
聊聊新年派对发生的事
to talk about the New Year's Eve party.
你知道你去了爷爷家
I know you were at your Grandpa's,
但总归发生了点什么吧
but let's just say things happened.
新年那天发生了很多奇怪的事
Look, lot of weird stuff went down on New Year's.
我不懂我永远也不会懂
I don't get it. I'll never get it.
我也不想弄明白不想管了
I don't want to get it. Staying out of it.
好吧好吧
Okay, okay.
明天要给你做午饭吗?
Hey, you want me to make you a lunch for tomorrow?
老妈就像我第一天上小学的时候对你说的那样
Mom, like I told you the first day of first grade,
赶紧离开我的房♥间
get out of my room.
我要吃花生酱果酱三明治! 吐司边留着别给我留纸条
PB&J! Crust on, no note.
既然是上班第一天留个纸条也行
Well, it's my first day. Maybe a note.
向右转身
Twist right.
Sean自从新年那天就再也没给你
So, Sean never called or texted or anything
打电♥话♥ 发信息或者别的什么的?
since New Year's Eve?
没有他干嘛要这么做?
No. And why would he?
他上次看见我的时候我在和Aidan接吻
I mean, the last thing he saw was me kissing Aidan.
我也说不好
I don't know.
可能Heck和Donahue家的人命中注定不能在一起
Maybe Hecks and Donahues just aren't meant to be together.
至少你在新年有和别人接吻
Hey, at least you got kissed on New Year's.
我可没你机会多
That's one more kiss than I got,
如果不算那个把我当成Clay Aiken的老太太的话
if you don't count the old lady who thought I was Clay Aiken.
顺便说一句可不能小瞧了Aidan
Oh. "BTdubs," Aidan's nothing to sneeze at.
他很帅的向左转身
He's really cute. Twist left.
不不不他确实很帅我们在一起也很开心
No, no, no, he's totally cute, and we have fun together.
但是Sean的吻是"啊!"
But, you know, Sean's kiss was like, "Ahh!"
而Aidan的吻则是"嗯"
And Aidan's kiss is like, "Eh."
听我一句你还不到一个"嗯"就能将就的年龄
Listen to me, you are 10 years too young to settle for "Eh."
除非你已经老到开始下垂了不然你就要保持在"啊"的水平上
Until things start sagging, you hold out for "Ah."
你说得对我明白
You're right, you're right. I know.
如果我对Aidan没感觉我应该和他分手
If I'm not feeling it with Aidan, I should end things now.
一直拖着对他也不公平
It's not fair to string him along.
你也知道我多么不擅长和人家分手
It's just you know how terrible I am at breaking up with people.
想想我和Jeremy的前车之鉴
I mean, look at me with Jeremy.
让人难过的是...
And this is what's sad...
喜欢我的男生我不喜欢
the guys that want me, I don't want,
我喜欢的男生亲完我就跑了
and the guy I want disappears after kissing me.
你要是一直自怜自艾
Well, no one's gonna kiss you
没有人会想跟你接吻的
with that little pity-party you're throwing yourself.
赶紧穿上你的鞋大踏步去分手
So lace up your big-girl breakup boots and get 'er done.
好
Right.
我们就这样拿着账单走出门
We just walked out with the account,
就因为我注意到了房♥主是个Cub摩托车迷
and all because I noticed the owner was a Cub fan.
Dwayne被我惊艳了
Dwayne was blown away.
儿子你很棒
Man, that's great.
才工作第一天我简直不敢相信!
On the first day. I can't believe it!
什么? 不敢相信什么?
What? Can't believe what?
然后他说他觉得
And then he says he doesn't think
我没有必要完整地培训两周了
I'm gonna even need the whole two weeks of training.
我这周四就能自己单枪匹马销♥售♥了
Says I could be flying solo by Thursday.
真是我的好儿子
That's my boy.
我也想听从头说
So, tell me all about it. Start at the beginning.
我已经口干舌燥了刚给老爸讲完一遍
Uch. I am fried. I just told Dad the whole story.
- 让他告诉你吧 - 他不会跟我讲的
- He'll tell you. - No, he won't.
可能不会
Probably not.
就告诉我Dwayne都说什么了
Just tell me what Dwayne said.
一切顺利好吧?
Look it's all good, all right?
我要去睡一觉谢谢你的建议老爸
I'm gonna crash. Thanks for the advice, Dad.
还有更多好建议给你留着
More where that came from.
对如果你需要建议的话随时来找我
Yeah, I'm here if you need me.
我也做销♥售♥
I-I'm in sales, too.
我今天卖♥♥给一个人他完全不需要的牙齿美白产品
Today I sold some guy teeth whitening that he didn't need.
有一次我偶然卖♥♥了...
Oh, once, I accidentally sold a c...
以后再告诉他
Tell him later.
谢谢大家!
Thank you!
谢谢你们稀稀拉拉的掌声是我们表演的动力
Thank you. Your smattering of applause is why we do it.
走了伙计们
Hey, come on, guys.
Brad 我的胃里又七上八下的...
Uch. Brad, my stomach is all fluttery...
还不是什么好的七上八下的感觉
and not the good kind like when you realize
不像当你意识到你是竞选青年组出纳员
you're the only one on the ballot
的唯一人选的时候的那种感觉
for Youth Group Treasurer.
也许今天不是一个和他分手的好时机
Maybe this isn't the right time to break up with him.
或者也许今天就是最好的时机
Or maybe it's the perfect time.
也许他头撞得太厉害了
Maybe he just hit his head so hard
以至于他根本不记得自己喜欢你这回事
he won't remember he likes you.
你们来了
Hey, guys.
Sue 你记得Luke吗? Brad 这是我们的鼓手
Sue, you remember Luke? Brad, this is our drummer.
他手里拿着鼓槌已经很显而易见了
Well, the sticks probably gave it away.
Luke 这是Brad
Luke, this is Brad.
表演怎么样?
How's it going?
很好相当好
Good. Really good.
我们演了整整三个小时
Well, we played three whole hours,
我们赶紧去把饮品优♥惠♥券兑换了吧
so let's go cash in our drink coupon.
- 马上回来 - 好的
- Be right back. - Okay.
一会见
Bye.
你不能和他分手
You can't break up with him.
什么? Brad 是你跟我说
What? Brad, you were the one who told me
要我跟Aidan分手的
to break it off with Aidan.
现在你又跟我说别分?
Now you're telling me I can't?
你瞎了吗? 看没看到他的朋友?
Um, hello? Did you not see his friend?
我可看得一清二楚他可帅了 Sue
'Cause I did. He is adorable. Come on, Sue.
你就再和Aidan约会一段时间
You just have to go out with Aidan a little longer
坚持到我和Luke更熟悉一些
so I can get to know this Luke guy a little better.
不行 Brad 我不能这么对Aidan
No, Brad, I couldn't do that to Aidan.
这样是不对的
Just wouldn't be right.
求你了? 你欠我的
Please? You owe me.
我不敢相信Aidan乐队里有这么帅的鼓手还是弯的
Oh, I can't believe there's a hot gay drummer
你却一直不告诉我
in Aidan's band. And you kept it to yourself.
我也没想到
Oh, well, I don't know.
我可不想成为
I didn't want to be that kind of person who was like,
"你是弯的你也是弯的我该给你俩牵个线"那种人
"You're gay, he's gay, therefore I should set you up."
为什么不? Sue Gumford不完全算是
Why not? Sue, Gumford is not exactly
印第安纳州的火烧岛
the Fire Island of Indiana.
我可没有多少选择的余地
It's slim pickings out there.
对不起我不了解情况嘛
Sorry. I didn't know the protocol.
这么说你已经准备好要开始约会了?
Ah, so you're really ready to start dating?