中产家庭（2009）

The Middle S09E07

Part 1 Feb. 3, 2021, 10:25 a.m.

《左右不逢源》祝您
感恩节快乐
做感恩节大餐
When you're cooking for Thanksgiving,
最重要的就是时机
timing is everything.
当食物内部已经加热得温而不烫
You want to wait till that perfect moment
而边缘也变得金黄酥脆时
when the center is warm
那就是我们要等的完美时机了
and the edges are crispy and golden-brown.
我可能放里面加热得太久了
I might have left it in too long.
所以我们终于穷到要吃被子了吗?
So, we're finally eating that?
我们还没那么穷不过也快了
We're almost that poor, but not yet.
不开玩笑了这是我的感恩节传统
No, this is my Thanksgiving tradition.
我会把被子放在烤箱里直到烤箱温度不高不低
I heat the quilt in the oven till it's warm enough
恰好能烤熟地瓜这时我再把被子拿出来
for the sweet potatoes to go in, and then the warm quilt
来暖我落枕的脖子
helps my stiff neck.
如果你的枕头已经用了30年此招必学
When you have a 30-year-old pillow, you need that.
脖子用了50年的人同上
And a 50-year-old neck.
好吧今天是感恩节随你怎么说
Okay, it's Thanksgiving. Pace yourself.
等到了Janet家我们俩要看起来是
Once we get to Janet's, we have to look like
全世界婚姻最美满的夫妻
the happiest married couple on Earth.
如果我们不去Janet家事情会更简单
That would be a lot easier to do if we weren't at Janet's.
嘿去我妹妹家过节也不是我的首选好吗
Hey, it's not my first choice, either,
但是我爸妈家离那里最近
but it's closest to mom and dad's,
所以我们就去那
so that's where we're doing it.
快拿走我嘴贱
Get these away from me.
看这个你在一个叫RNJ的地方
Look at this. Did you charge $4.75
花了4.75刀?
to some place called RNJ?
RNJ?
RNJ?
嗯我不记得有这事
Yeah. That doesn't ring a bell.
几号♥的事?
What day was it?
11月7号♥ 你那天都干什么了?
November 7th. What were you doing that day?
我也忘了平时干啥就干啥呗
I don't know. What do we do every day?
应该是看电视
Probably watching TV.
你确定不是你的账单吗?
Are you sure it wasn't yours?
不是我的账单
Not mine.
这看起来有点像那种盗卡骗局啊
This seems like one of those fraud things
首先先记下你的卡♥号♥♥ 花点小钱来试探试探你
where they steal your number and do some little
等你没反应
test charge before they go wild
他们就肆无忌惮地买♥♥它一大堆平板电视
and buy a bunch of flat screen TVs.
我最好还是给信♥用♥卡♥公♥司♥打个电♥话♥吧
I had better call the credit-card company.
这电♥话♥可能会打很长时间
This could take a while, so I don't know
所以我也不知道还能不能赶上去Janet家吃饭
if I'm gonna be able to make it to Janet's for dinner.
想得美你必须去
Nice try. You're going.
Keyshawn 你的土豆好了你的土豆好了 Keyshawn
Keyshawn, your potato is ready. Your potato is ready, Keyshawn.
享受你的感恩节土豆大餐吧
Enjoy your Thanksgiving potato.
明天欢迎来品尝我们残羹冷炙豪华套餐火鸡土豆三明治
And come back tomorrow for our leftover turkey sandwich potato.
基本上就是把面包火鸡酱料和土豆泥
It's bread, turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes
硬塞在一个隔夜的土豆里
inside a day-old potato.
呃 Sue 厕所需要人去打扫
Uh, Sue, someone needs to clean the bathroom.
插入式空气清新剂
The plug-in air freshener's
也挡不住厕所的攻势了
fighting a losing battle in there.
你不觉得这是一个让新人锻炼的好机会吗
You know, this sounds like a job for the new guy.
没错! 很有道理!
Why, yes! I believe you're right!
嘿新来的!
Oh, new guy!
呃 Axl 厕所要一小时打扫一次
Um, Axl, the bathroom has to be cleaned once an hour.
你没看员工手册吗?
Didn't you read the manual?
而且你还没把奶酪喷嘴上的渣渣刮下来
And you didn't de-crust the cheese nozzle.
搞得我们现在只能用实打实的奶酪了
Now we have to use the real cheese.
嗯才不要
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
我当初受邀来工作时
When I was asked to work here, it was put
就在合同上写的清清楚楚我不会去做恶心活
into my contract that I do not have to do gross stuff.
哎呦!
Ow!
别胡说了你才不是受邀来工作
No, you were not asked to work here.
你是哭着喊着要来工作的
You begged to work here
因为你连开个校车被炒鱿鱼了
because you got fired from being a bus driver.
再说我们都得做恶心活 Axl
And we all have to do gross stuff, Axl.
因为这里没有什么不恶心
Everything here is gross.
看来Axl要逃过一劫了
Well, looks like Axl's gonna luck out
咱们的轮班结束了
'cause our shift's over.
好极了那咱们拿完罐子里的小费就走人吧
Great. Let's hit that tip jar and get out of here.
好吧 Axl 在你把你的魔爪伸进去之前
Okay, Axl, before you get your paws on it,
记住我们一般都是平分小费公平公正
the way it works is we split the tips evenly,
如果不能平均分
and if it doesn't come out even,
多出的钱我们就轮流拿
we rotate who gets the extra penny.
要是那是什么鬼祝福纸条我就原地爆♥炸♥
Oh, if that's a prayer, I'm gonna be so pissed.
"感恩节快乐
"Happy Thanks-taking.
你们的小费归我们啦”
We took your tips."
我真是怒火中烧但是我好喜欢这个人的字迹啊
I'm filled with ire, but I love this guy's handwriting.
你确定我们来对了停车场吗?
You sure we're in the right parking lot?
确定我告诉孩子们在
Yeah, yeah, I told the kids to meet us outside
这个废弃的潘尼百货前会和
the abandoned Penney's.
还是说废弃的西尔斯百货来着?
Or did I say the abandoned Sears?
会不会是废弃的威特希尔?
What about the abandoned Wet Seal?
不会那家店不是废弃是毁尸灭迹了
No, that's been gone a while.
变成了一家克莱尔精品店
They turned it into a Claire's Boutique,
现在又变成海军招募中心
and now it's a Marine recruiting center.
别担心他们会找到咱们的
Well, they'll find us.
对了我给信♥用♥卡♥公♥司♥打了电♥话♥
Oh, by the way, I called the credit-card company
他们把那个5刀的账单取消了
and had them take that $5 charge off.
原来RNJ是一家叫
It turns out that RNJ is just the parent company
金豆咖啡店的母公♥司♥
of some coffee place called the Golden Bean.
我告诉他们 "我们喝不起那种高大上的咖啡
And I told them, "We don't drink fancy coffee,
所以不可能是我们的账单 "
so that couldn't be us."
哦想起来了是我喝的
Oh, yeah. That was me.
什么? 我以为咱们说好了
What? I thought we agreed
只喝在家在学校活动上喝
we'd only have coffee at home, at school events,
偶尔再去捷飞络蹭几杯
and the Jiffy Lube.
你听我说照顾我妈让我精疲力尽
Look, I was stressed from taking care of my mom
刚好我又路过一家咖啡店然后我对自己说
and I passed a coffee place and I said,
"我他妈就想喝杯咖啡 "
"I want a damn coffee."
对我脑子真的就是那么想的
Yeah, that's how I said it in my head.
我都说了脏话我当时就是那么想喝那杯咖啡
I said "Damn." That's how much I wanted it.
就这一次我保证好吗?
It was a one-time thing, okay?
你没想过偶尔对自己好一点吗?
Don't you ever want to treat yourself?
我就不理解了
I don't see the point.
你用惯了好东西
You get used to nice things,
回来还过得惯这种破烂日子吗
and then you got to come back to this.
好了大家听着
All right, listen up.
首先感恩节快乐
First of all, Happy Thanksgiving.
第二大家工作的不错
Secondly, great work today.
第三有人要被炒鱿鱼了
Thirdly, somebody's fired.
- 嗯什么?! - 什么?!
-Yeah. What?! -What?!
嗯没错
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
所以你们可能也注意到了
So, uh, you may have noticed
我最近很少现身
I haven't been around much lately.
那是因为我去纽约参加"周六夜现场"的试镜
Turns out my trip to New York to audition for "SNL"
但是事与愿违没选上
did not go as planned.
看来即使我姑姑跟Bobby Moynihan
I guess my aunt riding up the elevator
一起"上"过同一辆电梯也不能保证
with Bobby Moynihan isn't exactly the "In"
我一定会"上"节目
I thought it was.
不管怎么样我又回来了
Anywhoo, I'm gonna be around more,
所要我们不需要那么多领着最低工资的雇员
so we don't need as many minimum-wage employees.
听着我一直在纠结该开除谁
Now, I've been agonizing over who to fire,
然后我想到 "等等我不能这样做
when I thought, "Wait, I can't do this.
你们可是一家人 "
You guys are family."
所以你们自己决定吧
So figure it out amongst yourselves.
- 工作咋样? - 天啊妈
- How was work? - Oh, my gosh, Mom,
你肯定会大吃一惊的
you are not gonna believe this.
Edwin让我们自己决定
Edwin said we have to decide amongst ourselves
该开除我们之中的哪一个
which one of us is gonna be fired.
我们该怎么办? 该开除谁好呢?
How are we supposed to do that? Who's it gonna be?
- Sue - Sue
- Sue. - Sue.