衰女翻身（2017）

The Mick S01E15

Part 2 July 22, 2020, 12:47 p.m.

You know? The bonding, the secrets, the pranks.
我跟你说
I guarantee you,
今晚肯定有人屁♥股♥上会挨这一针
someone gets this jammed in their ass tonight.
好了今晚对我很重要
All right. This is an important night for me.
我可不想迪伦回家跟他妈说
I don't need Dylan going home and telling his mom
他跟一个陌生的成年男子互相倾吐秘密互扎屁♥股♥
he was sharing secrets and jamming asses with a strange grown man.
带本去睡觉吧
In fact, take Ben to bed.
-好 -那怪物怎么办啊
- All right. - What about the monster?
「小不点」
Buddy.
如果你今晚再遇到怪物你就这样
If you encounter any monsters tonight, tell you what,
在梦中制♥造♥一些冰镐
just dream up some ice picks, you know?
朝怪物的脸狠狠戳几下懂了吗
And stab him in his face a bunch of times. Sound good?
-嗯 -好
- Yeah. - Okay.
「小鱼儿与花无缺」来了啊
Swoopy bang brothers.
见到你俩真好啊
Good to see you guys.
迪伦你是要现在吃鱼肝油呢
Dylan, did you want your fish oils now,
还是要等下混着「西洋参」和「奶蓟草保肝丸」一起吃呢
or did you want to wait and have them with your ginseng and milk-thistle lozenges?
你不用真按指示来做
You don't have to actually do all that stuff.
我妈妈有点夸张
My mom's kind of crazy.
没有我夸张
Well, no... no crazier than me.
是吧奇普我是这里最夸张的妈妈
Right, Chip? I'm, like, the craziest mom in town.
-你不是妈妈 -但我很严格
- You're not a mom. - Well, I'm strict as hell.
我要严格按照单子的指示来做
And I'm crossing every single item off of this list.
包括八点后不能玩手♥机♥ 谢谢合作
Including... no cell phones after 8:00. Thank you.
兄弟你不是说她很随和吗
Dude, I thought you said she was chill.
她就是...
Well, she is, just...
米琪过来一下
Mickey, a word?
听着我跟迪伦说你很随和
Listen, I kind of told Dylan you were chill,
所以你得随和起来懂了吗
so I'm gonna need you to go ahead and be chill, you feel me?
懂当然懂了
Yeah, I feel you. Yeah.
玩吧小子去疯吧
Here you go, buddy, go nuts.
你不是吧我给了你两百块
You're kidding, right? I gave you $200.
嗯你得在贿赂这方面再下点功夫
Yeah, you're gonna want to learn to bribe better.
今晚最疯就这个底线了
That's about as crazy as it's gonna get tonight.
「小姐姐」你这是去哪儿啊
Missy. Where do you think you're going?
不关你事傻婊
None of your business, jackass.
怎么能跟家长这么说话呢
Wha... That's no way to talk to your superior.
我要给你记一过
That will be one... demerit for you.
不管你演什么都打住吧
Okay, whatever you're doing, stop it.
我去凯丽家学习了
I'm going to study at Kylie's.
很好很好
Good, good.
好好学习天天向上
Go study. Study hard.
我很看重学业迪伦
School is very important to me, Dylan.
你记得跟你妈提一下传播一下
You'll want to tell your mom that. Tell all the moms.
不管你了来吧好兄弟
Screw this. Come on, homie.
我们去房♥间耍吧
Let's go kick it in my dojo.
第一个睡着的人
First one asleep.
对不住了艾尔巴
Sorry, Alba.
游戏规则如此啦
Rules are rules.
迪伦该喝退黑激素茶了然后熄灯睡觉
Dylan, time for your melatonin tea, and then lights out.
等一下
Just a second.
快动作快点
Come on, hurry up.
你们俩在里面做什么呢
What's going on in there?
我们家不能锁门哦
You know we don't lock the doors in this house.
-快点 -很快了
- Hurry. - I am.
这里闻起来一股润唇膏和香烟的味道
Smells like lip balm and cigarettes in here.
我能解释
I can explain.
这是谁啊
Who's this?
我叫奥利维亚
I'm Olivia.
你又是谁啊
Who the hell are you?
这个妖艳货色是哪冒出来的
Where the hell did this chick come from?
她是迪伦的女朋友
She's Dylan's girlfriend.
她来的时候就醉成这样了
She showed up like this, I swear.
那是五百美金一瓶的白兰地啊
That's, like, a $500 bottle of Cognac.
味道很糟啊
It tastes like ass.
你看起来也很糟
Well, you look like ass.
-给我 -求你别告诉我妈
- Give that to me. - Please don't tell my mom.
她要是知道了会杀了我
Okay, she'll freak if she finds out.
好了... 你俩别动
Okay, just, you... Don't move.
我还没训完你俩
I am not done with you two.
-下床 -不要
- Get off the bed. - No.
有事吗
Can I help you?
抱歉打扰你我来找我女儿奥利维亚
I'm sorry to bother you; I'm looking for my daughter Olivia.
她在这里吗
Is she here?
奥利维亚不在啊
Olivia, no.
这里没人叫这个名字
No, nobody here by that name.
抱歉啦
Yeah, sorry about that.
别这样拜托
Please, please.
她偷喝了我酒柜里的酒然后溜出来了
She raided my liquor cabinet and snuck out.
我追踪她的手♥机♥定位来到了这里
I tracked the GPS on my phone to this house.
你能帮我查看一下吗
Can you just check for me?
好好
Yeah. Yeah.
好当然可以了你等一下
Yeah, of course I can. Excuse me.
奇普
Chip!
-这是你女朋友 -这是你家
- It's your girlfriend. - This is your house.
吐了这么多说明不是空腹喝酒挺好
Well, at least she was drinking on a full stomach... real good.
奥利维亚的爸爸在楼下
Okay, Olivia's dad's downstairs.
他追踪她的手♥机♥来到这里了
He tracked her phone here.
什么那我们怎么办
What? What-What are we gonna do?
别激动「奶蓟草小哥」
Just relax, milk thistle, okay?
我们时间不多
We don't have a lot of time.
还有谁知道她在这里
Now, who else knows she's here?
-只有我们 -这就好
- Just us. - Okay, great.
打开她的手♥机♥
So get on her phone
删掉一切能追踪到这里的信息
and delete anything that traces her back to the house.
短♥信♥ 照片之类全删了
Text messages, pictures, whatever.
-吉米 -锁屏了
- Jimmy! - It's locked.
那就擦干♥她♥拇指的呕吐物指纹解锁啊吉米
Yeah, so wipe the puke off her thumb and unlock it. Jimmy!
这是什么情况
What... What the hell is this?
-「来奇普的家」 -不不你听我解释
- "Come over to Chip's house." - No, wait, dude, hold on.
-「我们可以用他的房♥间亲热」 -不不不是那样
- "We can use his room to make out." - No, n-no, it's not like that.
-「他好像爱上我了」 -兄弟兄弟
- "I think he might be in love with me." - Dude, dude, dude.
你误解其中的意思了
You're reading that totally out of context.
「他为了讨我欢心闻自己的屁」
"He's trying to impress me by sniffing his own farts."
我还以为你觉得那样很好玩儿
Bro, I thought you thought it was funny.
确实是啊我觉得特别好笑
I did, I thought it was mad funny, dude,
但你一直那么做后来就变味了
but you kept doing it and it got weird.
不管你了让他「自生自灭」吧
Forget you... let's feed him to the wolves.
-好了 -求你别让我「自生自灭」
- All right, no... - Please do not feed me to the wolves.
谁都不会让谁「自生自灭」
No one's gonna be feeding anybody to the wolves. All right?
我就靠这回进入「家长体系」了
This is my one shot to get into the system,
你们都别给我捣乱懂了吗
and you guys are not gonna blow it for me-- understood?
-太恶心了但很棒啊 -我懂
- That is gross but excellent. - I know.
不行不行我知道但不行
What? No, no, no, no, I know, no.
我要在她脸上涂画
I'm gonna draw on her.
我知道你想画
I know you want to draw on her,
但是不行因为他爸就在家门口
but you can't 'cause her dad's downstairs.
他追踪她手♥机♥找来了
He traced her here through her phone,
技术手段这么高堪比中情局特工啊
like come kind of freakin' CIA agent.
你得拿着这个手♥机♥赶紧走离咱家越远越好
I need you to take the phone and get it as far away from this house as possible.
「恶作剧」呀哥喜欢
Mischief. I like it.
你就一直让他跟着你拖住他
Just keep him on the move long enough for us
我们好把他女儿安全送回家
to get his daughter home safely.
-交给我吧 -好
- Done. - Okay.
-今晚要嗨爆了 -吉米
- Epic night. - Jimmy!
怎么了
Yeah?
你没拿手♥机♥啊
You want to take the phone?
我就是太激动了
Yeah. I was so excited.
-你激动了我懂 -走到一半...
- You got excited, I know. - I'm, like, halfway.
我懂你迪伦你清理一下
I know you are. Dylan, you start mopping up.
奇普你还想让人来留宿