爱人们（2023）

我推了一个...你怎么称呼它？
I shoved a... what do you call it?
就像...它就像一个振动器，但它...
It's like a... it's like a vibrator, but it...
它不会振动。假阳具？
it doesn't vibrate. A dildo?
假阴茎？/是的。是的，假阳具。
Dildo? / Yeah. Yeah, a dildo.
是的，我把假阳具塞进了他的喉咙，他，嗯...
Yeah, I shoved a dildo down his throat and he, um...
他被噎住了。
he choked on it.
他被假阳具噎住了。
He choked on a dildo.
毫米。
Mm.
我在开玩笑。
I'm joking.
赋。。。
Fu...
他离开我去找另一个女人。
He left me for another woman.
睡个好觉。
Sleep tight.
你好。上帝啊！
Hi. Jesus Christ!
由于窗户破损，我无法在房♥间里睡觉。
I couldn't sleep in my room because of the broken window.
是的。太冷了。
Yeah. It's too cold.
嘻嘻。
Hiya.
你好。
Hi.
最好为工作做好准备。
Better get ready for work.
“这个星期天...”
'This Sunday with...'
“你好，欢迎来到第一个...非常第一...
'Hello and welcome to the very first... very first...
该死。加油。这个星期天与西莫...
Oh shit. Come on. This Sunday with Seamus...
你好，我们在贝尔法斯特生活...'
Hello we're in Belfast live for...'
上午。
Morning.
你没事吧？
You alright?
是的，只是...只是有点紧张。
Yeah, just... just a bit nervous.
关于这次采访。什么面试？
About this interview. What interview?
我正在采访，呃...
I'm interviewing the, uh...
工作和养老金大臣。
the Secretary of State for Work and Pensions.
你知道，当我紧张时，我会唱歌♥。
You know, when I'm nervous I sing.
对不起，你什么？我编了这首小歌♥
Sorry, you what? I made up this wee song
每当我感到紧张时，我都会唱给自己听。
and I sing it to myself whenever I feel nervous.
来吧，那我们听听。
Come on, let's hear it then.
不，我不这么认为。来吧唱这首歌♥。
No, I don't think so. Come on sing the song.
不，我不是在唱歌♥。请唱这首歌♥。
No, I'm not singing it. Please sing the song.
我不是在唱歌♥。真的...我想听——
I'm not singing it. It really... I wanna hear-
不要紧张。神经是为鸡巴头准备的。
Don't be nervous. Nerves are for dickheads.
所以，如果你紧张，那会让你成为一个傻瓜
So, if you're nervous that makes you a dickhead
所以，不要...
So, don't be...
他妈的紧张。
fucking nervous.
哇！/我就知道你他妈的不会欣赏它。
Wow! / I knew you wouldn't fucking appreciate it.
不，不，不是那样，只是，就像，
No, no, it's not that, it's just, it's like,
老实说，它根本不押韵。/所以？
let's be honest, it doesn't rhyme at all. / So?
嗯，我的意思是，没有曲调。
Well, I mean, there's no tune.
我的意思是，你不能把它归类为一首歌♥。
I mean, you couldn't categorise it as a song.
嗯，它奏效了，不是吗？如何？
Well, it's worked though, hasn't it? How?
它。。。你不再担心了。
It's... You're not worrying anymore.
是的。
Yeah.
♪ RYAN MCMULLAN: RUTHLESS CUPID
♪ Don't wanna leave but I gotta go home
♪ Where'd you come from, where did you go?
♪ I don't recall ever feeling so low
♪ Washed up and burned out, 30 years old
♪ I'm holding out for a little romance
♪ But nobody's ever said "shut up and dance"
♪ Like the way that you did babe
♪ Yeah, you made me feel something
什么？ ♪ 哦，亲爱的回来了
What? ♪ Oh, honey come back
♪ You never told me your name
♪ What kind of game have you got me in?
♪ Whatever it is, I'd let you win
♪ Oh, now I see you with some other guy
♪ Washed up and pissed off... If you can't stand the heat,
然后走出厨房♥。希望你喜欢
then get out of the kitchen. I hope you've enjoyed
这第一次展示和我一样多。
this first show as much as I have.
感谢您加入我们。下周日见。
Thanks for joining us. See you next Sunday.
让她点燃，西莫。
Keep her lit, Seamus.
西莫干得好，太棒了。
Well done Seamus, that was brilliant.
我们爱你西莫！
We love you Seamus!
上西莫。
Get on Seamus.
♪ Oh, honey come back, you never told me your name
早上好。
Good morning.
♪ I should've known it would always end up this way
♪ Oh, Cupid, you're ruthless
♪ Oh, Cupid, I'm just stupid
♪ But Cupid, this goose chase ain't over yet. ♪
女士们先生们
Ladies and Gentlemen,
我们正在经历进入伦敦的一点动荡。
we are experiencing a little turbulence coming into London.
请像船长一样留在座位上
Please remain in your seats as the captain has
戴上系好安全带的标志。
put on the fasten your seatbelt sign.
不要紧张。
Don't be nervous.
神经是为鸡巴头准备的。
Nerves are for dickheads.
所以，如果你紧张，它会让你成为一个笨蛋。
So, if you're nervous, it makes you a dickhead.
所以，不要...
So, don't be...
他妈的紧张。
fucking nervous.
哼。
Huh.
西莫？我以为你还在爱尔兰。
Seamus? I thought you were still in Ireland.
我刚回来。
I just got back.
天哪，你的脸怎么了？
Oh my God, what happened to your face?
我在贝尔法斯特遭到一伙暴徒的袭击。
I was attacked by a gang of thugs in Belfast.
你为什么不给我打电话？他们偷了我的手机。
Why didn't you call me? They stole my phone.
你好。你好。
Hi. Hi.
你还在做节目吗？你没看吗？
Did-Did you still do the show? Didn't you watch it?
对不起，我实际上整晚都在拍摄。
Sorry, I actually was filming all night.
你看到我在《观察家报》上的采访了吗？
Did you see my interview in The Observer?
他们经常提到你。我？这与我无关。
They mentioned you a lot. Me? It's not about me.
你本身就是一个非常出色的演员。
You're a totally brilliant actor in your own right.
我厌倦了这种父权制的废话！
I'm so sick of this patriarchal bullshit!
我们去吃晚饭好吗？
Shall we go for dinner?
♪ THE VACCINES: If You Wanna
♪ Well, I don't want to wake up in the morning
♪ But I've got to face the day
♪ That's what all the friends
♪ I do not like as much as you say
♪ I don't want to do things independently
♪ But I can't make you stay
♪ That's what all the friends
♪ I do not like as much as you say
♪ But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back
♪ Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back to me
♪ Alone
♪ All alone
♪ I, I am on my own
♪ Alone
♪ All alone
♪ I, I am on my own
♪ But if you wanna come back it's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back
♪ Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back to me
♪ But do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back
♪ Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back
♪ Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back
♪ Do you wanna come back? It's alright, it's alright
♪ It's alright if you wanna come back to me. ♪