爱人们（2023）

'Don't be nervous...' 'Five. Four...'
神经是为鸡巴头准备的。所以，如果你很紧张...
Nerves are for dickheads. So, if you're nervous...
“一。”
'One.'
西莫，你可以这样做。
Seamus, you can do this.
下午好！对总理来说艰难的一周
Good afternoon! A tough week for the Prime Minister
因为他在有争议的《赫尔辛基条约》上受到压力。
as he comes under pressure over the controversial Helsinki Treaty.
我们将与财政大臣现场交谈，
We'll be talking live to the Chancellor of the Exchequer,
鲁珀特·格林伍德爵士。
Sir Rupert Greenwood.
一切都会好起来的。
Everything's going to be absolutely fine.
是他吗？他其实很热。
Is that him? He's actually hot.
我以为他会像个瘦小的、看起来很有趣的书。
I thought he'd be like a wee short skinny funny-looking nerd.
没有冒犯，杰森。
No offence, Jason.
“但是社区有广泛的支援
'But is there widespread support in the community
为了这个工业行动？
for this industrial action?'
我们去了坦布里奇威尔斯以了解更多资讯。
We went to Tunbridge Wells to find out more.
谢谢。
Thank you.
所以，呃，今天看来我们都是互联网八卦的主题。
So, er, it seems we're both the subject of scurrilous internet gossip today.
我能，嗯，我能告诉你一些事情吗，保密？
Can I, um, can I tell you something, in confidence?
传言是真的。我打算罢免总理。
The rumours are true. I am planning to oust the PM.
鲁伯特爵士，我不确定你现在应该告诉我这些。
Sir Rupert, I'm not sure you should be telling me this now.
如果我成功了，我希望你来做我的传播总监。
Should I be successful, I want YOU to come and be my Director of Communications.
你知道，坎贝尔对我的布莱尔。
You know, the sort of Campbell to my Blair.
你知道，英厄姆到我的撒切尔。
You know, the Ingham to my Thatcher.
戈培尔对我的...
The Goebbels to my...
哦，你真好。非常感谢你。
Oh, how kind of you. Thank you very much indeed.
郑重声明，你的私生活与我无关。
And for the record, your private life's no concern of mine.
我的意思是，我们都有骷髅，不是吗？
I mean, we've all got skeletons, haven't we?
“我们还有五、四场。三，二，一...”
'And we're on in five, four. Three, two, one...'
珍妮特到底在哪里？
Where is Janet anyway?
也许她和他一起在电视演播室里！
Maybe she's in the TV studio with him!
哦，是的。她可能是。
Oh aye. She could be.
她会在观众席上。
She'd be in the audience.
甚至可能是后台！
Or maybe even backstage!
哦！你好，珍妮特1
Oh! Hello, Janet1
'..比北爱尔兰这里还要！
'..than here in Northern Ireland!'
“对不起，我要阻止你...”
'I'm sorry, I'm gonna stop you there...'
不好意思。这太令人兴奋了。
Sorry. This is too exciting.
让我讲一谈。
Let me speak.
我不会让你劫持这个程式
I'm not gonna let you hijack this programme
以满足您自己的个人目的。
to suit your own personal ends.
尊敬的总理，您支援这位总理已经五年了。
With respect, Chancellor, you've backed this Prime Minister for five years.
现在你要在背后捅他一刀
And now you're gonna stab him in the back
为了进一步发展自己的事业？
to further your own career?
为什么英国公众应该相信骗子？
Why should the British public trust a liar?
公众为什么要相信蛇？
Why should the public trust a snake?
公众...
The public...
这是他有史以来最好的一次。真他妈的厉害！
This is the best he's ever been. Fucking brilliant!
告诉我们我们都知道的，
Tell us what we all know,
就是你从来不认为他有什么好处，
which is that you never thought he was any good,
你从来没有支援过他，你想要他的工作！
you never supported him and that you want his job!
我全力支持总理。/ 这根本不是真的。
The Prime Minister has my full support. / That simply isn't true.
我对像你这样的记者不感兴趣，
I am not interested in what journalists like you,
卡在你的威斯敏斯特泡沫中，想想。
stuck in your Westminster bubble, think.
我对贝尔法斯特车间的普通工人的想法很感兴趣。
I'm interested in what the average worker on the shop floor of Belfast thinks.
我对普通人感兴趣——对不起。
I'm interested in what ordinary people —I'm sorry.
你为什么坚持——我希望这个政♥府♥——
Why do you insist on — I want this government to -
你为什么坚持——我想要这个政♥府♥——全是谎言。
Why do you insist on — I want this government —All lies.
为普通人说话，代表普通人的需求和愿望！
To speak for and represent the needs and wishes of ordinary people!
哦，滚蛋！
Oh, fuck off!
不，不，对不起，我不是在听这个博洛克。
No, no, I'm sorry, I'm not listening to this bollocks.
平民！你他妈的不在乎普通人！
Ordinary people! You don't give a fuck about ordinary people!
这真的发生了吗？这比烘烤要好。
Is this actually happening? This is better than Bake Off.
我知道普通人，好吗？
I know about ordinary people, OK?
我。。。我曾经是一个普通人。
I... I used to be an ordinary person.
我妈妈是个普通人。
My mum was an ordinary person.
但是我得到了...我被所有这些名人♥大♥混混了。
But I got... I got fucked up by all this celebrity bollocks.
好吧，我对普通人的想法很感兴趣。
Well, I AM interested in what ordinary people think.
这就是为什么你要离开我去当他妈的店员。
Which is why you're leaving me for a fucking shop assistant.
我想要这个政♥府♥...
I want this government...
你能让我讲这个故事吗？
Would you let me tell the story?
要表示检视...
To represent the views...
她太他妈无聊了！和愿望...
She's so fucking boring! And wishes...
现在滚回你的超♥市♥！普通人！
Now fuck off back to your supermarket! Of ordinary people!
你好。
Hi.
嗯，你在一件事上是对的，鲁伯特爵士。
Well, you're right about one thing, Sir Rupert.
你和我确实生活在泡沫中。好吧，去他妈的泡沫！
You and I do live in a bubble. Well, fuck the bubble!
我他妈的泡沫破了。
I'm bursting the fucking bubble.
那是不到一分钟的五次性♥交♥。
That's five fucks in less than one minute.
还有两个布洛克。
And two bollocks.
珍妮特。。。
Janet...
如果你正在看这个，嗯，
If you're watching this, um,
我为我所说的一切感到抱歉。
I'm sorry for everything I said.
嗷！
Aww!
“我错了。真是大错特错。
'I was wrong. Just so wrong.'
我把它全部收回来。
I take it all back.
我不要这种生活了。
I don't want this life anymore.
我要你。
I want you.
血腥的电缆。的。。。
Bloody cable. Er...
我以前从未发生过这种情况！天啊。
I've never had that happen before! Oh, God.
♪ 为什么她把半条命给了她现在讨厌的人......
♪ Why she's given half her life to people she hates now...
所以，她一定不在那里吗？
So, she mustn't be there?
那么，她在哪里？她错过了她生命中最重要的时刻。
Well, where is she? She's missing the biggest moment of her life.
也许她回到了这里！好吧，去找她！
Maybe she came back here! Well, go and find her!
嘿，伙计们，有一点排队...
Hey, guys, there's a wee bit of a queue...
看在你妈的份上，现在不行，杰森！
For fuck's sake, not now, Jason!
♪ What country shall I say...
拜托了，西莫！想想你在做什么！
Please, Seamus! Think about what you're doing!
不！回到那一套！
No! Get back on that set!
恩迪迪，你不明白。
Ndidi, you don't understand.
不，去他妈的。你听我说一次。
No, fuck that. You listen to me for once.
西莫，六个星期以来，我已经忍♥受了你的狗屎
Seamus, for six weeks, I have put up with your shit
我再也受不了了。
and I can't take it anymore.
这里比你的爱情生活更危险，
There is more at stake here than your love life,
比你毫无疑问的微观阴茎的异想天开！
than the whims of your no doubt microscopic penis!
那我呢？船员呢？
What about me? What about the crew?
所有在家观看的人呢？
What about all the people watching at home?
做一个他妈的专业人士，现在就回到那一套！
Be a fucking professional and get back on that set now!
恩迪迪，对不起。
Ndidi, I'm sorry.
我得走了。 ♪ 他们问这是好是坏
I have to go. ♪ They're asking is it good or bad
♪ It's such an icy feeling
♪ It's so cold in Alaska ♪
珍妮特，如果你收到这条消息，你能给我回电话吗？
Janet, if you get this message, can you please ring me back,
只是为了让我们知道你没事，爱，好吗？
just to let us know you're alright, love, OK?
没有人见过她。一定是回家了。
No-one's seen her. Must have gone home.
你不认为她去了——什么？
You don't think she's gone to - What?
好吧，她有一段历史——别说了！想都别想！
Well, she has a history of - Don't say it! Don't even think it!
我再试一次。我们应该报警！
I'll try her again. We should call the police!
不，我需要你帮我处理小杰森。
No, I need you to help me with wee Jason.
我们必须去她家！我们必须去破门而入！
We have to go to her house! We have to go and break down the door!
哦，珍妮特！/你到底在哪里？
Oh, Janet! / Where the hell were you?
我在后面。
I was out the back.
好。杰森，我来了。别他妈的那么需要！
Alright. Jason, I'm coming. Stop being so fucking needy!
珍妮特你永远不会猜到刚刚发生了什么！
Janet you will never guess what just happened!
请不要把你的香蕉指向我，先生。
Please don't point your banana at me, sir.
杰森，别哭！
Jason, don't cry!
然后他就站起来离开了采访，
And then he just stood up and left the interview,
而我和菲力浦就是这样...哇！
and me and Philip were like this... Waaah!
听著，大家。我们有点情况。让我解释一下。
Listen, everyone. We have a bit of a situation. Let me explain.
我们今天是六点和七点，因为...
We're at sixes and sevens today because...
一位名人宣布他对那个女人的爱......
a celebrity declared his love for that woman...
在电视上直播，我们整天都在处理它的影响。
live on TV and we've been dealing with the repercussions of that all day.
这位名人是一位名叫Seamus O'Hannigan的政♥治♥家。
The celebrity is a politics guy called Seamus O'Hannigan.