职介破事儿（2013）

Morning.
早上好
Eyes right!
朝右看!
Oh, hello. Sorry, I was miles away.
你好 不好意思 分心了
Oh no! Come back!
快回神!
I've got to say, I think what you guys are doing here is really great.
要我说 你们做的真的很棒
Oh, thank you, Steve.
谢谢你Steve
I've got a great connection with our customers.
我跟这里的用户关系都不错
You're certainly turning people's lives around.
你在拯救他们的生活
I find managing a place that turns people's lives around very rewarding.
一份能够拯救别人生活的工作很有意义
Of course I do a lot of work for charity. I'm swimming the Channel.
当然了我也会做慈善 我准备参加渡海泳
You're swimming the Channel? Yeah I am, yeah.
渡海泳? 没错
Angela, that's unbelievable!
Angela 不可思议啊!
Well, it's all for a good cause.
没什么 都是为了做好事嘛
It's Cats Protection League.
是猫咪保护协会
Fantastic! When are you going to do that?
真厉害! 你准备什么时候游?
I've already started. I'm doing it at my local baths.
已经开始了 我在游泳馆里做的
Oh, so you're not swimming THE Channel?
所以也不是真的游过英吉利海峡咯?
Well, yes I am, Trish, I'm doing the equivalent distance.
当然算啦 Trish 我会游同样的英里数
And they've got a wave machine.
泳池里还有造波机
That's a good idea. How many lengths have you got to do?
好主意 你要游多少公里?
I'm doing it in widths so I can put my feet down.
我是来回地游 这样我才不会临阵退缩
It's over 2,000.
已经超过两千了
I sat in a bath of beans for Cerebral Palsy.
我为了脑瘫患者坐到了满是豆豆的浴缸里
They got everywhere, I was picking them out for days!
跑得到处都是 花了我几天才全拿出来!
Hiya, can I nip out and get some breast pads?
嗨 我能不能出去买♥♥点防溢乳垫?
Forgot to get them at lunch and these are starting to smell.
午餐时间忘记买♥♥了 现在胸部都开始有味儿了
Um yes, if you have to.
好吧 如果非得去的话
That Steve's quite fit, isn't he? Why don't you go and chat him up?
那个Steve看起来挺正的 你怎么不去跟他聊聊
Danielle! I'm your manager.
Danielle! 我是你经理
It's not appropriate for us to discuss personal issues.
我们不该这么谈论私人话题的
I knew you fancied him!
我就知道你喜欢他!
Lord of the Dance! He's the most beautiful man I've ever seen.
我的个天哪! 我就没见过比他更帅的男人了
I reckon you're well in.
我就知道你迷上了
And his voice! I saw you two talking.
还有那嗓音! 我看到你们两个讲话了
He was puffing his chest out like a randy pigeon.
腮帮子鼓鼓的 像只饥渴的鸽子
That means he's interested. Does it?
所以他是对有好感 -真的吗?
Trust me, it's obvious.
相信我 太明显了
He may as well have clubbed you and dragged you back to his cave.
我看他都想把你打昏了带回洞里去呢
Oh, God! I mean, he would be the first man since Chris that I've...
天哪! Chris走了之后他还是第一个...
Did you know I was separated from my husband?
你知不知道我跟我丈夫分开了?
Erm, yeah. I had heard something.
嗯 听说了那么点
This all feels so new again. What do you do?
有一种新生的感觉 我该怎么办?
How do you pull?
你都怎么勾引他们的?
I do a load of shots and jump on 'em.
我喝一堆酒 然后直接爬到他们身上
Right.
好吧
Just... ask him out for a drink.
就... 叫他一起去喝杯东西
I don't know, and I'm having a really bad hair day.
我不知道 我觉得今天我发型怪怪的
This bit of fringe just won't behave.
这搓头发就是不服帖
I tell you what, nip to the toilet, wet your hair a bit,
我跟你说 去厕所 把头发打湿
then blow dry it straight under the hand dryer. Will that work?
然后到烘手♥机♥下面吹干 有用吗?
Yeah! OK. Why the devil not?
当然了! 好吧 干嘛不呢?
Ow!
噢!
So I just picked up the grenade and threw it right back,
我捡起手榴弹向后一扔
then we all got helicoptered out just as the boat was sinking.
船开始下沉时我们正好被直升机救起来了
And then what?
然后呢?
Well, it was late, so I had to turn it off and go to bed.
玩得太晚了 所以我就关电脑睡觉了
You've never played Call Of Duty? No, never, no.
你从来没玩过《使命召唤》? 从来没有
It's really good. I've just been made a lieutenant.
超好玩的 我已经升到陆军中尉了
I should be saluting you then, shouldn't I?
那我应该朝你敬礼了是吧?
Well, you know, it's only a game.
呃 就是个游戏嘛 你懂的
Although it is quite realistic. Yeah, well it sounds it.
虽然它真的超真实的 是啊 听上去就很真实
Out of interest, have you ever called in an air strike?
随便问问 你有没有被召去参加过空袭?
Yeah, once.
嗯 就一次
Right, cool.
哇 厉害
So when the jets come over, was it like...
所以直升飞机飞过来的时候 是不是像...
Shooo... shooo... shooo.
咻...咻...咻...
And then... Boom... boom... boom... boom.
然后就 梆...梆...梆...梆...
Well, no. Actually no, it's more...
不是 其实不是这样的 应该是...
It's more like a, kind of...
应该是那种...
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
咻..................
Boooooooooooooooooom.
梆!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And then what happened?
然后呢?
Well, there was a lot of smoke and glass. Yeah.
到处都是烟雾跟玻璃渣子 嗯
Then a man emerged from the burning building. Really?
有个人从大楼里冲出来 真的?
Of course I shouted. I said, "Run, quick, the building's collapsing."
然后我就喊他 "快点 快点 楼要塌了"
But I only knew basic Arabic. Oh no!
但我只会说些基本的阿♥拉♥伯语 不会吧!
Turns out I was hailing a taxi.
我喊的其实是"打车"
Oh my God! So what did he do?
哇塞! 然后他怎么样?
He died, Karl. He died.
他死了 Karl 死掉了
You watching the football tonight? I wish! I haven't got Sky. You?
晚上看不看球? 我倒是想! 没有Sky台啊 你呢?
Yeah, yeah, I'm going to my mate Lee's, he's got a massive telly.
我要去我哥们Lee家里看 他有个超大的电视机
There's a few of us going. You could come round if you like?
还有几个人要去 你要是想的话 也可以来
No, I don't want to put you out. No, no you wouldn't be... Please?
算了 不想打扰你们 不会的...一起来吧?
Alright, thank you, yeah, I will. Cool.
好吧 谢谢了 我会去的 太好了
Then after we could all play Call Of Duty with the lights off.
然后我们就可以把灯关了一起玩使命召唤了
Or not.
也可以不玩
No, I understand, thanks for your time. Bye.
没事 我理解 打扰了 再见
Here's a tip for you. Pretend to be someone else. Really?
告诉你个窍门 假装你是另外一个人 真的?
Yeah. I got an interview in a posh restaurant last week
我上周就得到了一个高级饭店的面试机会
by telling them I was Ainsley Harriott. Did that work?
我告诉他们我是Ainsley Harriott 能行吗?
No. When I got there they realised I wasn't Ainsley Harriott,
不能 我去到饭店 他们就发现了我不是Ainsley Harriott
and some people did find my outfit a little bit racist.
还有人发现了我的衣服带有种族歧视的意味
Thanks, my love.
谢谢 亲
Do you need this moving? Oh, yes please. You are good.
需要帮忙吗? 噢 太好了 你真好
Here you are, I got that, pal.
让我来吧 兄弟
I do all the deliveries.
搬搬抬抬的事都是我来的
Honestly, I'm happy to help, there's a lot here.
我很乐意帮忙 真心的 箱子这么多
You do not mow another man's lawn. I'm sorry?
你不能混过界 什么?
You doing the stationery? I bet you could lift loads of these.
在搬文具? 我赌你能几箱几箱地来
I don't need help. He's been helping all day and I don't appreciate it.
我不需要帮忙 他都帮了一整天了 我可不稀罕
Oh, there's no need to be like that. I didn't mean to offend anyone.
你别这样啦 我不是有意冒犯的
I thought you had loads to do? Done it.
你不是很忙吗? 忙完了
Here, George, put another box on here.
George 再搬个箱子上来
Are you sure? They're pretty heavy.
你确定? 他们很重诶
Oh, I see, just the one? No, I'll take two.
噢 我懂了 就一个? 不 两个
Come on lads, don't be like this. And you thought the army was tough.
老兄 别这样 你以为就军队艰苦?
You want to try being a security guard, pal.
想试一下当保安员
Oh, you have fourteen weeks of basic training, do you?
你经过十四周的基本训练 不是吗?
Didn't need it. Three intense days at Walsall College, I was good to go.
才不要 在沃尔索耳的三天强化训练足矣 我可厉害呢
To stand on the door outside Mothercare. Steve went to war.
不就是给妈妈店当门卫嘛 Steve是上过战场的
Yeah, with all his mates to back him up. I have to work alone.
有一整队人给他支援 我可是孤军作战
Apart from Janette.
除了Janette
Put another box on here, Karl.
Karl 再上一箱来
George.
George
Trish, are you OK? You've been in there ages.
Trish 你还好吗? 你进去好久了
No, I'm not good. Can you come in?
一点都不好 你能不能进来一下?
Oh my days, what's happened?
天哪 这算怎么回事?
I think I got a bit too close.
估计我靠太近了
'- Ere you are, let me pull it out. - No, don't!
好了好了 我帮你拔♥出♥来♥ 别别!
Every time I move, I set it off. It really is quite painful.
我稍微动一动 它就自动启动了 好痛的
Sorry, just stay completely still.
不好意思 那你站着别动
I'm going to have to cut you out. No, Danielle, not my hair.
我只能帮你剪掉了 不行Danielle 不能剪我头发
I've lost so much already.
已经掉了不少了
Danielle, just go, there's nothing you can do.
Danielle 走吧 你帮不上什么忙了
Steve and I are obviously not meant to be.
我跟Steve注定不能在一起了
Oh, don't say that, let me go and get some help.
别这么说 我去找人帮忙
Oh, God no, please! No one can know I'm in here.
天哪 不要! 别让人家知道我在这
My staff respect me,
我的员工对我心怀敬意
they can't see me tethered to a hand dryer like a naughty horse!
不能让他们看到我像一匹野马似地被拴在烘手♥机♥上!
Go, go. Left a bit. Left a bit. Not that left, the other left!
走走 往左往左 不是那个左 另外一个!